Respond with Monty Python

[hatlover123]

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp.
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away.
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin.
His head smashed in and his heart cut out.
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off
And his penis..

 

[neiljames74]

no i didn't...

You're fuckin' nicked me ol' beauty

 

[jack80]

And there was much rejoicing (I cannot remember how to word how the "minstrels were eaten/killed)

 

[sweetsauce]

Congratulations!! You have won tonights star prize!! a knee in the temple and a dagger up the clitorus....

 

[InsatiableDsire]

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition

 

[INeedLove]

Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking!

And after the spanking, the oral sex.

 

[neiljames74]

Archimedes out to Socrates, Socrates back to Archimedes, Archimedes out to Heraclitus, he beats Hegel Heraclitus a little flick, here he comes on the far post, Socrates is there, Socrates heads it in! Socrates has scored! The Greeks are going mad, the Greeks are going mad. Socrates scores, got a beautiful cross from Archimedes. The Germans are disputing it. Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant via the categorical imperative is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming it was offside!

 

[TarzanOfTheApes]

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day.

He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea

He cut down trees, he eat his lunch
He go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he go shopping and has buttered scones for tea.

He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.

He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars.

He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear pappa.

He cuts down trees, he wears high heels?
Suspendies...and a bra?

...He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

 

[sweetsauce]

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition

NOT! the comfy chair?

 

[hatlover123]

Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies.

There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history.

 

[hatlover123]

I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. - - Anybody else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus...Dickus...

 

[neiljames74]

'Ello, Miss?

What do you mean "miss"?

I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

We're closin' for lunch.

Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

 

[GingerVixen]

This is an ex-parrot!

 

[GingerVixen]

Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more.

 

[hatlover123]

He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's called... 'Incontinentia'... Incontinentia Buttocks

 

[sweetsauce]

'Ello, Miss?

What do you mean "miss"?

I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

We're closin' for lunch.

Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

he's not dead, he's tired and shagged out after a long squawk....

 

[neiljames74]

This is an ex-parrot!

No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

 

[hatlover123]

STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! STOP IT! All right, no one is to stone _anyone_ until I blow this whistle. Even... and I want to make this absolutely clear... even if they do say, "Jehovah. "

 

[GingerVixen]

Our chief weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear. Fear and surprise. Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency. Our THREE weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope. Our FOUR, no...Amongst our weapons are such elements as fear, surprise...I'll come in again.

 

[jack80]

I am Death, and you are all dead!

 

[hatlover123]

Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies.

Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother... sister, sorry.

 

[hatlover123]

We are the Judean People's Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack!

 

[GingerVixen]

And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch toward thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

 

[hatlover123]

Well, I think I should point out first, Brian, in all fairness, we are not, in fact, the rescue committee. However, I have been asked to read the following prepare statement on behalf of the movement. "We the People's Front of Judea, brackets, officials, end brackets, do hereby convey our sincere fraternal and sisterly greetings to you, Brian, on this, the occasion of your martyrdom. "

"Your death will stand as a landmark in the continuing struggle to liberate the parent land from the hands of the Roman imperialist aggressors, excluding those concerned with drainage, medicine, roads, housing, education, viniculture and any other Romans contributing to the welfare of Jews of both sexes and hermaphrodites. Signed, on behalf of the P. F. J. , etc. " And I'd just like to add, on a personal note, my own admiration, for what you're doing for us, Brian, on what must be, after all, for you a very difficult time.

 

[GingerVixen]

Dinsdale.