Raven's Beak presents: The mystery of the fleeing friends

[Beaker]

Come online dear raven, for I have much to show you

The beak is weak, it has been too long, he lacks the raven to provide a song.

A strum, a fiddle, a grab on the tit, the pawing of felt, no that isn't it.

The parties here, life has started, but where oh where are our friends departed?

 

[Ravenloft]

Through the darkness I've come...

Boy what an awful mess...

Please, do smell my thumb...

Where it has been, can you guess?

But now is no time for pleasantry.

Is that a phesant in that tree?

I admit, my rhyming is a stretch.

So stop complaining, ya stupid kvetch!

On to bigger and brighter things...

or is that wetter and tighter things?

 

[Beaker]

Wetter and tighter things I can guess,
that you would stretch.
and yes a mess you would make
In your pants in her wake
But where is she
Our muffiness friend
Is she departed
I hope we pretend
But she will come
and see the Beak
And Raven again
For this week

They say
Rhyming is passe
Yes yes, but we are gay
And that is all we have to say
Oh and dear departed friends.

Please come back and stay

 

[Ravenloft]

Friends departed?
You speak as though we are dead...
Things needed to be restarted.
Thats all that needs be said.
So I am here for a time,
why are you puckering on that lime?

*Scratching head.*

 

[Beaker]

I speak of friends gone
Those who left
And those who are not here
I agree that we need to restart
Rekindle the pleasure
Forget the pain
Make a new beginning
And fall
in
love
again

 

[Isabella Thorne]

here i am dear Beaker
for i am a friend to thee

and who is that ... pray yonder ....

is that a bat?
i don't think that ...

oh it is Ravenloft ...

forget the pain,
dear Beaker of mine
and let's party
like it's 1999

 

[Ravenloft]

Isa sounds like Prince,
who was once a symbol.
He was proud of his dick,
cause it made the girls giggle...

Poor deluded fool...

Pardon, its an off day...
Maybe I should go away...

 

[SweetCherry]

Raven, you cannot say
That today is an off day.
It's a day that makes the cut.
It's a day to honor the slut.

It's a day to celebrate.
I beg you please, don't tempt fate.
Dont you see, I've got the "y".
Can't you tell I've got to try?

Stay and smile and laugh a bit.
Raven's Beak is always such a hit.
Poerty and laughs abound.
Aw, just try and stick around.

 

[Nobody Special's wife]

I can't spell
I can't ryme
bear with me in my time


I have been gone
for not so long
but what was this about Ravenlofts dong?

Meat is neat
but not with cheats
but never rare
but in ravenlofts lare



I so silly .....

 

[Beaker]

Raven dear raven
What about the Beak?
Once twice
Three times a week

Are you saying
You're not craving
A piece of felt
With a glorious snout

And of friend dear departed
To the ones still here
They seem to enjoy a Raven's Beak
Isn't it clear?

So you cannot leave
You must stay
And fight the good fight
With sluts all the way!

 

[Ravenloft]

Than I shall stay,
I will not stray.

Some time with a slut
might tone my gut.

Oh, who am I kidding,
Beaker, I'd rather do your bidding.

But watch your ego
else you'll see me go.

Bitter sweet
not a treat
within defeat
you would retreat.

But on a lighter tone.
The sun has shown.
And if your skills, you hone,
a girl you may make moan.

 

[Beaker]

Bad Bad board

 

[Beaker]

You'd rather a Beaker
Of desire
To fill your plate
A cupful of felt
to play about?

But Ravenloft dear
This is unclear
Sluts have been promised
Sluts that are ready
Dont let them go off
Ask em to go steady!

Your time has come
Take one now
Show how its done
Show em HOW

Me being the beak
Will sit back
And seeing you peak
Will loudly clap

Now if only the Muff
Wonderful Stuffin Muff
Would come and show
How far we can go...

 

[Isabella Thorne]

hark ...

do i hear a call for a slut?
hey did i show you my butt?

for i am a slut for all here

it matters not dear Beaker
whether felt is involved
or if the beak is weak

what matters most to sluts of all
is a cock that's mighty and strong
and as big as a mall

eh? what's that? you have the clap?

 

[Ravenloft]

A slut is known by her lust for cock?
But only when its hard as a rock?
And only when its long as a water dock?
Then my cock you would mock...

For I am to blame
I carry the shame
cause my cock is lame...

 

[Beaker]

Oh dear,
The raven craven is gone

Beak has a slut
Izzy by name
Driving me insane

Canadian born
Canadian bred
And oh she gives head!

The beak is weak
But not that weak
The felt is willing
The mind is clear

Izzy, Izzy oh please
CUM HERE

 

[Isabella Thorne]

oh cocks that are mightier than a sword
on these fine gents i see on the board

but pray tell, poor Raven
why is thy dick so limp?
you speak of a lame cock
my dear Ravenloft

but i will fallate
with all that is good in this world
to suck that lame cock into shape

and yes dear Beaker it is true
from a faraway land am i from you

but you must agree henceforth
that a slut is a slut
from either Down Under
or up the Great White North

for if you agree to this my dear
i will cum for you and bring you a beer.

 

[Ravenloft]

why must a beer always be near when intercourse is here...

I would rather have my cock slathered in in female lather...

This rave needs pay so he can get a good lay.

 

[KillerMuffin]

*sits quietly and bemoans her lack of poetic skills*

I will not eat them in a box
I will not eat them with a fox
I will not eat them here or there
I will not eat them anywhere
I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like them, Sam I Am!

Yes? I do good? Yes? Yes?

 

[Beaker]

Izzy dear Izzy
The raven is lame
His beak out of place
He's no longer game

You see, sluts
Raven was after
A nice big fuck
Then he saw it
And ran out of luck

"i said big,
But not a whale!"
A whale it was,
A six tonne beast
It gave good body
But not quite the fuck
That dear raven was craven.

Izzy my dear,
A slut is a slut
Whether on her back
Or tied on a truck

And all the same
They deserve to suck
And then get eaten
And then a good fuck

So bring on the sluts
Say what you will
International gourmet
I'll feast on it still

Canadian bacon
A nice pork treat
Los locos mexicanos
Something to eat

Izzy bring home the bacon,
and ride the Beak
For the way I'm feeling
This could last all week!

 

[Guest]

*sits quietly and bemoans her lack of poetic skills*

I will not eat them in a box
I will not eat them with a fox
I will not eat them here or there
I will not eat them anywhere
I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like them, Sam I Am!

Yes? I do good? Yes? Yes?

hehehe so I wasn't the only one thinking that

 

[CelestialBody]

Ok, so I suck at this. Sue me.

 

[Ravenloft]

Two years found me washed upon these shores.
At the time I was sex starved, looking for whores.
It took me much time to learn my social mores.
But now, the women here, this one adores.
Thinking of their loveliness, my heart soars.
If I am not careful, I could ruin my drawers.
I can be such a beast, listen to my roars.
If you all like, I can be yours.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

*sits quietly and bemoans her lack of poetic skills*

I will not eat them in a box
I will not eat them with a fox
I will not eat them here or there
I will not eat them anywhere
I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like them, Sam I Am!

Yes? I do good? Yes? Yes?

good Muffy?

well yea i guess it would be good if you dusted the cobwebs off of it after Dixon used a variation first ...

and if i hadn't used it before him months ago ...

but i digress
and i must confess
i would not
could not
touch your hole
not even with
a ten foot pole.

and Beaker i do thee hail
are you calling me a whale???????

and no need for beer or cash dear Rave
for i will "do" thy cock a fave

 

[cymbidia]

A lack of female companionship?
A sorrowing few with drooping dicks?
Fear not! Take heart! Renew your smiles!
These tips and tricks may be worth your while.
If you're painfully sorry but not well-endowed,
Then cultivate lips that can kiss like a cloud
Of honeyed butterflies, so softly sensual
What you lack in inches will be uneventual.

If the short dong thing still gets you down
Walk your fingertips slowly up under her gown
To search out the small bit of nerve-ended skin
And stroke it just right for full access within
The thighs that will part as she sighs and moans
And her hands flutter over your rigid hipbones.
Kiss her then, quickly, deeply, and smoothly,
As her hand moves on down to your little woody.

She'll still then, surprised, but allow her no time
To withdraw, to cool down, to utter a line.
Instead slide a finger, so long and so hard,
Deeply inside her, now wet and unbarred.
In and out, in and out, rhythm unceasing
Till she's panting and begging, almost releasing
With a flourish, from under the sheets you produce
A vibrating dildo with which you'll induce---

... such incredible orgasms she'll be back knocking at your front door tomorrow.

Check The Stockroom (www.stockroom.com); i think they have some good ones on sale now. Don't pay more than about $35 bucks though, okay? If it vibrates and goes in and out, it doesn't need to be fancy. Heck, we can't see the thing while it's at work, you know.