Questions for those who have "moved away and started over"

[BlondGirl]

1.) What was it that gave you the final motivation to actually do this?

2.) What were your fears?

3.) What the best thing you discovered after you were settled in about the entire event?

4.) How do you deal with family and friends "back home"?

(Yes, I am aching to move from this hellhole.)

 

[Feelin' Naughty]

We moved from Texas to Florida, arrived in Florida on my 40th birthday. I call it my mid-life crisis move hehe

1) Final motivation was job related, more opportunities here than in our part of Tx. Hubby's company opened a new branch here and we just decided to go for it. Not to mention the fact that the weekend I flew out here to look around they were in the midst of the blizzard of '99 in Tx. Power outages all over the Tx panhandle, N.M., OK, & even up in KS. I stepped off of the plane here and it was in the high 60's (January). That was a "sign" for me, I hate cold!

2) I was scared to death! We didn't know anyone here at all. It was just me, hubby and 2 kids. Biggest fear was probably that Jax is so much larger than Amarillo, very intimidating. I just took a deep breath and viewed it as an adventure.

3) This turned out to be the best thing we ever did. I love it here. I guess the best thing was that being away from our other family, hubby and I focused more on one another, really got to know each other. That sounds strange after being together for several years, but with family around there was always some "issue" needing to be resolved that took our attention.

4) Dealing with the family back home is easier now. We keep in contact via phone and IM, but don't have to deal with the day to day nonsense that goes on in every family. We go back home when we can, and they come out here. As long as we "check in" and let them know we are doing well everything is great.

I hope this is of some help, just my personal experience. I recommend "going for it" if the circumstances are in your favor. It sure changed our lives for the better!

 

[Cloak38]

The best thing to do is go on a scouting expedition.... Maybe pick an area of the country you've always wanted to visit.
You could always come to Tennessee...
Did I mention I like to play chess?

 

[SilverVeil]

1.) What was it that gave you the final motivation to actually do this?

I have done this 2 times. The first was to get away from the small town I grew up in. I moved to TX. I did not go back " home " for 5 years. When I did go back, everyone I grew up with was still there doing the same things, wanting the same things, but not doing anything to achieve those dreams.

The 2nd time I moved was from TX to RI. This one was for love.

2.) What were your fears?
Moving to TX from IL the 1st time, I had no fears. I was young and dumb. The invincible years I like to call them.

The 2nd time I was afraid I would be here and something would happen between me and my hunny and I would be moving back to TX and living alone again with my 2 cats.

3.) What the best thing you discovered after you were settled in about the entire event?
Austin TX has so much going on. The state is huge and there is ALWAYS something to do.

RI is teenie weenie.... but this whole area is do rich in history there are so many places to go. And the state is so small there are lots of places around it within driving distance of a day.

4.) How do you deal with family and friends "back home"?

Both times ...... I don't. I am gone and I have entered a new stage in life. I have kept in contact with a few people from TX, but it is getting more and more sporadic. I drove away from IL and never really looked back.

It is hard to make that first step. But once you do ....... your adventure begins.

 

[WhiteRose]

The best thing to do is go on a scouting expedition.... Maybe pick an area of the country you've always wanted to visit.

Excellent advice! We moved a LOT while I was growing up (military family), so moving to a new place didn't frighten me at all. I moved away from home to attend college and didn't know anyone at the school I was heading to or anywhere in the area. After college (I stopped after my junior year due to illness and decided to work awhile), I worked until my car was paid off (just short of 3 years) before moving out of my parents' house in California. I had a pretty clear idea of where I wanted to move to, and the company I was working for had a branch in Colorado, so I'd kept my eyes open in the company paper for jobs here and started doing research on areas of town to live in, things to see and do, gathered city maps, etc. When I got a couple of interviews lined up (all in the space of a week), I came out on a trial run, went to the interviews, interviewed with employment agencies here also just to keep my options open, and shopped around for apartments. So, by the time the company agreed to transfer me, I had everything lined up. Contacted the apartment complex I'd picked as my #1 choice, got my car serviced and loaded, and headed out here.

We've always lived either on the West coast or the East coast or out of the country, but until I went to college, I'd never lived in the middle of the States, but have relatives here that I visited when I was a child, and I've always wanted to live in Colorado (though don't ask me today, it's too snowy and cold right now )

I guess the only "fear" I had was moving out alone, and I'm not sure why. I did a trial run of being out on my own for a long weekend at a cabin I rented before I made the decision. I was (and am) armed, but it was actually all the little critters running across the roof of the cabin that kept me up the first night rather than any human threats. I'd forgotten how quiet and dark the mountains are at night.

As for dealing with family back home, I still get yelled at if I don't call once a week (usually in the form of a terse "call your mother" email from my dad *g*). I've been back 3-4 times for Christmas and for my brother's wedding, and they come out here to visit. We didn't move back to southern California until after I'd graduated from high school, and I was only home during summers between college semesters and was busy working, so I didn't have friends there to worry about leaving. But I've been leaving friends all my life (because we moved), and I guess the way I look at it is, "I'll see them again someday", because when you're in the military, you DO tend to see your friends again, either at one base or another, so it was never like we were parting forever.

 

[Xander]

I moved from Denmark, europe. To Michigan, USA


1.) What was it that gave you the final motivation to actually do this?
The simple fact that I was absolutely miserable where I was


2.) What were your fears?
My fears where not what I may encounter in the states. My fear was what would happen if I followed my brain and stayed where I was.
Instead I followed my heart and became a shitload more happy than I ever was 'over there'


3.) What the best thing you discovered after you were settled in about the entire event?
Simple....happiness!

4.) How do you deal with family and friends "back home"?
Through email and occational phone calls.
Seriously though, they know it's about me, and what makes me happy and hopefully a better person than the one I was. Granted there is a lot of talk about the fact that I am half a globe away from them. They also know better than to try to get me to move back to Europe.
My friends know how to get a hold of me, if they so chooses, and they know I am there for them. BUT I can no longer take on the task of being there in person for them anymore. And granted there has been quite a few who had a hard time adapting to that. My family most of all. But they're dealing, knowing that I am much happier here than I was there.

 

[BlondGirl]

Thank you so much for your responses. I have a serious desire to get away from here, but my son keeps me from leaving. His dad is 5 minutes away and that is worth my sacrifice.

The trick is for me to convince his dad to move to the same town--he he.

I think I know where I wanna go. I just have to make it there.

 

[xlc67]

Hey BG...Will you be closer to me?

 

[BlondGirl]

I'd like to move to the Tyler area. (That's East Texas, for you fer-in-ers.) I vacationed there once with my boy and we fell in love as deeply as we could. I don't think I could really convince my ex though. I might be able to get him to move up to Conroe or the Woodlands--Any farther and I am likely otu of luck--his mommy and daddy moved back here and bought a house in Clear Lake to be near him. They'd probably write him out of the will if he moved out of reach. Huntsville is very nice too. That would be cool. I hear the single men there seriously outnumber the women... (This is a joke, folks. The single men I am referring to are not at all my type. I like to be the one wearing the chains--and a courtroom should never be involved in my "submissiveness".)