Question for the bisexuals out there

[Tazidevil]

I am a bisexual male with a problem. Recently, I have been having an inner battle between my wants and my upbringing. I want to experience the pleasures of another man but the problem is inbred barriers from parents, religion, and surrounds keep me from fulfilling this\desire.

my question:

Did you have barriers like this? If so, how were they brought down?

 

[Baskin Robbins]

Repent and embrace god!

Please contact me to clear your mind!!

 

[Harrowborg]

I am a bisexual male with a problem. Recently, I have been having an inner battle between my wants and my upbringing. I want to experience the pleasures of another man but the problem is inbred barriers from parents, religion, and surrounds keep me from fulfilling this\desire.

my question:

Did you have barriers like this? If so, how were they brought down?

I had similar issues, but I think the problem lies mainly with the misconception that in order to 'explore' your bi feelings your immediatly gonna turn into an extra from the YMCA dancing troupe. It depends how far you want to explore these feelings, for me, when I had my first bi experience it was simply kissing a guy who was really close to me anyway so there wasn't any big moral debates/issues to get in the way. i just thought to myself, hey im kissing someone i feel really close to. just take your time and enjoy the experience.

 

[Tom Collins]

I've never had a problem with it, but then, I turned my back on the Judeo-Christian "ethos" a long time ago.
*raising my glass*
I hope you resolve your conflict to your satisfaction.
Remember, the purpose of life that everyone has been searching for all these millennia, is snuggling.

 

[Tazidevil]

Repent and embrace god!

Please contact me to clear your mind!!

Baskin it is comments like that that have put me in this situation. Thank you, you mindless religious drone.

Here are the barriers that I can pin point:

Biggest one- Desire to Marry, have kids and all that
Runner up - In a weird state with a gal friend of mine (not dating due to distance)

3: Parents repeated homophobic remarks about issues

Weak but there - Catholic doctorines*

This seems to grow weaker by the day. I am a biology major and well evolution is how things happened. Creation Science is bullshit as well as intelligent design. Homosexual acts (I refuse to call them gay acts because I tend to find that term has a drastically negative almost as bad as any racial slight I have ever heard) are present in nature as a normal part of development.

I can justify all I want but the barriers presist.

I think I'll read the first experience thread while I wait for answers.

 

[Shankara20]

I am a bisexual male with a problem. Recently, I have been having an inner battle between my wants and my upbringing. I want to experience the pleasures of another man but the problem is inbred barriers from parents, religion, and surrounds keep me from fulfilling this\desire.

my question:

Did you have barriers like this? If so, how were they brought down?

It took me about 5 years to fully embrace being bi. I took it one part at a time, slowly checking in with myself to make sure. I thought I might die the first time I took a cock. But the worst was talking to my wife-at-the-time about it. Now I wish I had started years sooner.

All the best to you.

 

[CJontherocks]

I still have a lot of the barriers. At first, I thought it was my own weakness of character that made me give in to pleasures of the flesh with men. I wasn't attracted to men, I just had sex with them now and then. I wasn't gay, I was just horny. And that was kinda okay, because I accepted my weakness of character and I was fine with it. And I got married and raised children and had a happily ever after hetero kinda life for a while. Then one night, while my wife and I were satifying a major fantasy of mine with another couple (we were great friends), I satisfied a major fantasy for my friend's wife by sucking his cock. It all fell apart after that. My desire for men was reawakened. My wife and I have since split up... not so much because of the bisexual encounters, but more the not talking about it... at all. That was symptomatic of the deeper problem withour relationship and I began to see her in a different light. Anyway, I later had an epiphony and accepted the fact that I am bisexual. Since then, I've also accepted the fact that I am attracted to men. I enjoyed my first real kiss with a man last night... I mean really enjoyed it. A deep down stroke-the-back-of-his-neck-and-explore-every-inch-of-his-mouth-with-my-tongue kiss. Wow!

So it's been more of an evolution for me. I'm still hidden firmly in the closet, with the exception of this board and one lesbian friend whom I've told. (That was liberating, let me tell you.) I can imagine telling my family. My mother has dropped a hint or two that she would "love me no matter what." My sisters would be fine with it. My brother-in-law's father is gay, so I know my sister is not homophobic. But all my friends... I can't imagine telling them. At least that's how I feel now. But maybe that'll change also. So I'm just living this life and growing as I stroll along. I'm not worrying too much about the hangups I still have. They pop up every now and then, but I deal with them (or ignore them) and they go away.

 

[blondboy]

I went to an all boys boarding school, we boys had sex with each other but never worried if we were gay or not - it was the only consensual sex available to us and could be more pleasureable than just jacking off by myself.

Since then I've discovered women but never lost the taste (if you'll excuse the pun!) for other men - I guess I just love sex and if it's human, adult and willing and I'm attracted, then gender is very unimportant.

My biggest fantasy is to have sex with a man and a woman at the same time.

 

[Tazidevil]

That helps a lot CJ. Thanks.

I am at the point of no actual experience - which is what I want to change.

I know I am bi. I can point out the type of men I am attracted easily (Look up bears and cubs). Trust me, once you get the courage up to tell your friends (if you know they wont totally freak out over it) you will definitely feel great - a lot of my high school buddies know and most of my college friends. Though I am not to the point where I'll just randomly tell a person. If they ask, I answer truthfully.

Like I said, my problem is with actually physically doing it. Well, that and the fact that the opportunities to do so are not really around (my college is really really conservative - nothing wrong with that mind you - makes things a little easier on my wallet).

 

[kalika]

Well I'm not male but here's my 2 cents. My parents are pretty open minded so I dont think my experiences with them will help you much, but as for the religious aspect I might have something for you. I dont think sexual tendencies are something you can change, therefore God made ya the way you are. I don't always agree with how He does things, but I dont think He makes mistakes. Always remember above all else God loves you, and he wants you to be happy. If being with another guy makes you happy then do it. Its tuff but you have to ignore the negitive opinions. Every idea at some point in time was thought to be something bad. This is just one more thing th world will have to get used to. The only people you'll have to settle up with at the end of your life is yourself and God. I've had some really crappy stuff happen to me because I'm bi, but all in all, I'm a better person because of it.

As far as having family is concerned there are other options. While the federal state of affairs is dismal, you can still get a civil union in many states. There more options that I can name for having children.

For all three Barriers my answer was to secure my faith in God. As long as I was cool with God none of the other stuff mattered. My faith gave me the courage to tell the parents I thought would disown me, and to face up to everything else that happens no matter how I live my life.

Take baby steps untill your comforatable with it. It took me a long time to be ok with myself, just as I'm sure it'll take you a while. Don't let the misguided idiots hold you down. Talk to people about it. There are lotsa poeple here that will be more than willing to listen when you need a shoulder, and give advice if you want it. If God is ok with pengiuns commiting to same sex partners, believe me, He'll be ok with you doing it too.

Feel free to send me a line anytime if ya wanna chat.

Luv n Peace ~
Kali

 

[Mari J]

I am a bisexual male with a problem. Recently, I have been having an inner battle between my wants and my upbringing. I want to experience the pleasures of another man but the problem is inbred barriers from parents, religion, and surrounds keep me from fulfilling this\desire.

my question:

Did you have barriers like this? If so, how were they brought down?

While it's especially a problem when parents and other influential people in our upbringing express homophobic attitudes that we pick up on, it's also true that even straight people pick up on sexually and socially repressive attitudes when they are children. Though I don't know the answers, I know that everybody has parental baggage that they need to get over. Straights, gays, and bis are all in this one together.

 

[lastingpassion]

It took years for me to surpass and grow beyond my barriers as well. In fact,
many of the concerns that you have expressed are similar to those which I had. To the important point I would offer this advice: Trust "your" feelings that originate from your own mind and sexual desires. As time goes on you will know if the feelings/desires have a stronger control over your actions with others. Once you realize that "your" sexuality is there to be enjoyed to the fullest, then you will be the person that you want to be. Happiness is found once "your" fundamental needs are met. Societies imposed inhibitions may delay what you think about, but I think you know that its time to accept and enjoy your true identity.

Be yourself and embrace life with "your" love......

 

[Tazidevil]

Kalika - Just to give you an idea: My view of what God wants is summed up in the ultimate rule of do unto others what you want others to do unto you. I live in teh mindset that Jesus was real, and God exists. I don't believe in the bible. I believe in most of the commandments: stealing, Killing, Fair treatment (the one above). Faith is there, but as for God helping me out, I think we are a little science experiment he has running and is observing to be able to make changes. The Apoclypse will be the end of the experiment, when he has gathered enough data to make a better world. Thanks for the reply.

Mari - I agree with that statement. Though the family life thing, is really that of the animalistic kind...proliferating and such. Besides, I love the feel of a woman...though I am sure I will eventually enjoy the tough of a man from time to time. Thanks for the comment.