question for female subs....

[deliciously_naughty]

Was your first experience with the lifestyle with a dom or a domme? If a domme, did you find it was easier to be taught by another woman? I'm being lessoned by a woman and I think it's easier because she is...also because she is a good friend as well and understands me better than a stranger. At any rate, she thinks it's easier for women to submit to other women first. What do you think?

 

[MissTaken]

Hi there, delicioiusly_naughty!

Fancy meeting you here!



I think that there may be some merit to what you are suggesting, however, it would depend on each individual.

For some, being with a woman in any intimate situation could be as stressful as being alone with a Dom for the first time.

I guess it is a matter of preference.

IMHO

 

[Red Menace]

I agree with MissT... it's going to vary for each individual.

I can't see myself submitting to a woman but sometimes think I could Top one in the right situation.

 

[Little Girl]

I have not submitted to either in skin to skin, I did submit in an LDR with Don, but that didn't go anywhere when he got home. I don't think I could submit to a woman though. My experience has been that most women who end up hitting on me are attracted to my dominating personality, so like Red I think if I was with a woman I would probably be in the dominant role and that really isn't what I want. I guess it is all based on the individual and their wants and needs.

 

[lark sparrow]

Was your first experience with the lifestyle with a dom or a domme? If a domme, did you find it was easier to be taught by another woman? I'm being lessoned by a woman and I think it's easier because she is...also because she is a good friend as well and understands me better than a stranger. At any rate, she thinks it's easier for women to submit to other women first. What do you think?

I'll answer but as I am lesbian, it may not add entirely to the question.

Yes, first experience was with a woman. Yes, it was easier for me, but then I question whether I could/would sexually submit to a man. I haven't felt the pull, though I've played with men who were in the submissive role on occasion.

my mentor of about 4 1/2 years, who was online, claimed to be a woman, but there was never any proof through voice, etc. She was either a privacy freak and/or had something to hide. In the end, it didn't really matter to me, as I learned so much from her not only about D/s, but about myself. She really inspired me, in fact I adored her lol but she may be male.

That's kind of how relationships go, the deeper we know and love the person, the less important the outside can be. If my Domme suddenly grew a cock overnight (not by a lie, but the impossibility of waking up one day through no choice of your own to find you have grown male parts lol) I would still love Her, and I would find a way to love Her cock too. As it is, I'm happy that's not possible, but the bottom line is that my feelings have gone beyond Her gender - though that was a great big appeal initially.

I think if you feel more comfortable exploring with a woman, you should, same holds true for feeling more comfortable exploring with a man... or just waiting to see who you click with regardless of gender.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

Having given it thought...in this case, I don't think it's gender that makes me more comfortable, I think that it's the 4 year friendship that has established trust that makes me more comfortable. But I'm still interested to hear what everyone has to say.

 

[bunny bondage]

yeah, that's what i was going to say. it's not gender, but closeness that makes it easier. but you beat me too it!

 

[Guest]

Was your first experience with the lifestyle with a dom or a domme?

It was with a Dom. In fact, I have been with more men than women in my life and I know only one Domme. The farthest W/we ever got was Her making me cum by scraping her fingernails on my nipples.

 

[MissTaken]

<hijack>

Hey, guys!

It is so cool to see our authors stopping in from the Story Ideas forum!


We welcome your insight, intellect and creativity as well as your just plain old fashioned awesomeness!




Hi all! *waves*

<end hijack>

I do believe that the trust and intimacy established in a freindship serves well to introduce someone to BDSM play or the lifestyle.

IMHO, too many novice subs find themselves hungering for that additional kink and fall into a scene with someone they really don't know as well as they should. Personally, one of my goals on this forum is to help guide novice subs and yes, Doms, into a safe, healthy and pleasant introduction into real life BDSM.

 

[quietwillow]

I really think it is up to the individual.

quiet

 

[MissTaken]

Holy shit!

I just read my last post and it sounds like I am running for office!


Ack!


I must have been suffering from sleep deprivation.

 

[Desdemona]

I am primarily het so my experience in the lifestyle has been exclusively with Doms. I can't totally rule out being with a Domme, but it seems doubtful that I would go that route.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

Did any of you have trouble at first? With the concept of submission? I'm a pretty sassy brassy girl out in the real world, so at times being submissive outside the bedroom is difficult.

 

[lark sparrow]

I believe it's pretty common for submissives to struggle at times in their surrender. Some areas will definitely come easier than others.

At each level there may be new struggles, but in my experience with time, communication and a well-suited partner it gets easier. Eventually, you can experience a more automatic submission, which doesn't mean zero struggle, but deeper peace and eventual understanding in a relationship.

One can also decide to draw a line on the depth of surrender. Submission can be, and probably most often is, limited to certain areas in BDSM relationships. Try not to expect yourself to be perfect, as in instant submission. Struggle can be a great learning tool.

If your Dom/me enjoys sassy and brassy, and I would hope they do if that is a basic characteristic, the only thing you will have to work out is the times when it is not appropriate or appreciated by your chosen Dom/me.