done_got_old
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Did you hear the news about that Chinese restaurant that got vandalized? It was an act of wonton destruction.
Puns
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LanguageOfLove
Really Experienced
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How do you count cows:
with a
Cowculator..
lol
with a
Cowculator..
lol
done_got_old
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LanguageOfLove
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A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
That's wisdom ^^lol
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles
...lol
(probably a repeat but a good one)
shadowofaman
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When someone tells you to stop horsing around they’re actually telling you to be stable.
LanguageOfLove
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LOL...funny
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Mystery Man
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Can you also do Mootiplication on it?
done_got_old
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Packing up and relocating to a new home can be a moving experience.
done_got_old
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My relationship with my chauffeur just isn't going anywhere. It feels like he's always trying to drive me away.
mnbreastluver
Hands On Approach
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When you dig up ghosts from the past, burying them again is a phenomenal undertaking.
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Mystery Man
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Skeletons don't like going to parties because they have no body to dance with.
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Mystery Man
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You should steer him in the right direction.
done_got_old
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done_got_old
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Why did the referee get fired? Because he was a whistle blower!
done_got_old
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A research group on sea mammals captured a rather odd porpoise on one of its trips. Its peculiarity was that it had feet. After they had photographed and measured the poor thing, they prepared to set it free.
"Wait a minute," said one of the researchers, "Wouldn't it be a kindness if our ship's doctor here were to amputate the feet so that it would be like other porpoises?"
"Not on your life," exclaimed the doctor, "That would be defeeting the porpoise."
"Wait a minute," said one of the researchers, "Wouldn't it be a kindness if our ship's doctor here were to amputate the feet so that it would be like other porpoises?"
"Not on your life," exclaimed the doctor, "That would be defeeting the porpoise."
LIVINRFANTASIES
In a Cornfield Near You
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Deny
Came back to our car with cows licking it.
Our daughter said "look dad, a cow wash."
True story: We were in Wisconsin during cherry picking time. Had our three kids and a new 1980 Malibu. Parked in a pasture and picked cherries for a few dollars a bucket.
Came back to our car with cows licking it.
Our daughter said "look dad, a cow wash."
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Mystery Man
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He must have suspected foul play.
mnbreastluver
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They slipped behind the barn and quickly removed each other's harnesses. There, with nothing to rein them in, it would be a night of unbridled passion.
done_got_old
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The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
mnbreastluver
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The pirate captain's list was to starboard when he failed to ketch his bottle of port which fell onto the poopdeck after he nearly keeled over.
Last edited:
done_got_old
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Shirts are pressed for cash.
mnbreastluver
Hands On Approach
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A lawyer held a huge briefcase in his hand during the enire trial, but finally he rested his case.
done_got_old
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What day of the year is a command to go forward? March 4th.
This going to cause more confusion than a mouse at a Tupperware party.
"No. I'm not tired ... I'm just laying here pretending to be road kill!"
Instant gratification takes too long.
Never guess a ladies age unless you read it on her tombstone.
Barbie has an awful lot of nice things for a girl whose knees do not bend.
Rand McNally has a map of the ocean floor. If you need it, you must be really lost.
"No. I'm not tired ... I'm just laying here pretending to be road kill!"
Instant gratification takes too long.
Never guess a ladies age unless you read it on her tombstone.
Barbie has an awful lot of nice things for a girl whose knees do not bend.
Rand McNally has a map of the ocean floor. If you need it, you must be really lost.
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
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This going to cause more confusion than a mouse at a Tupperware party.
"No. I'm not tired ... I'm just laying here pretending to be road kill!"
Instant gratification takes too long.
Never guess a ladies age unless you read it on her tombstone.
Barbie has an awful lot of nice things for a girl whose knees do not bend.
Rand McNally has a map of the ocean floor. If you need it, you must be really lost.
Super!
