Puns

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What do you call a Bear with no ears?

B

 

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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

 

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https://i.pinimg.com/736x/56/54/37/565437d9c4f5a803e435776ac7a57c58--dental-humor-dental-assistant.jpg

 

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What happened when the cow tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? Udder destruction.

 

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I'm not a fan of Air Conditioning puns.

 

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No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

 

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The psychiatrist's receptionist went to her boss and said, "Doctor, there's a man in the office who thinks he's invisible."

The psychiatrist replied, "Tell him I can't see him."

 

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Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

 

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Golfers in Canada approach the lynx carefully.

 

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When you dig up ghosts from the past, burying them again is a phenomenal undertaking.

 

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My wild cat ran away last week. I put up posters in our neighborhood so that others can help me find the missing lynx.

 

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A boy was bagging groceries at a supermarket. One day the store installed a machine for squeezing fresh orange juice. Intrigued, the young man asked if he could be allowed to work the machine, but his request was denied. Said the store manager, "Sorry, kid, but baggers can't be juicers."

 

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I get so mad at people knocking on my door asking for donations. I just had a woman from the sperm bank - boy did I give her a mouthful.

 

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There was a ghost at the hotel, so they called for an inn spectre.

 

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Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.

 

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At the zoo I noticed a slice of toast in one of the enclosures.

I asked the keeper, “How did that toast get into the cage?"

"It was bread in captivity,” she replied.

 

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I saw a book about masturbation on sale yesterday. It was called "Taking matters into your own hands".

 

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Two part time astronauts fell in love despite their relationship being out of this world.

 

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Two part time astronauts fell in love despite their relationship being out of this world.

Never give your uncle an anteater.

 

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Old-flames are rekindled by a burning desire!

 

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Two part time astronauts fell in love despite their relationship being out of this world.

Everytime they had problems, they just needed more space.

 

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The meaning of opaque is unclear.

 

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It's not that the eunuch doesn't know how to juggle, he just doesn't have the balls to do it.

 

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What do you get if you cross a bullet and a tree with no leaves? A cartridge in a bare tree.

 

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A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way.