Puns

[done_got_old]

Computer geeks always look scruffy because they only take milliseconds to refresh.

 

[Ask For More]

I had dinner on the Moon last night. The food was great but there no was no atmosphere.

 

[done_got_old]

Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "I can't serve you." says the bartender. "You're Bard!"

 

[mnbreastluver]

When the drill bit was invented, it was a real turning point.

 

[done_got_old]

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

 

[_valkyrie_]

Can February March?

No, but April May.

 

[done_got_old]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

[Ask For More]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

You hit a home run with that conclusion.

 

[done_got_old]

A lawyer for a church did some cross-examining.

 

[done_got_old]

The meaning of opaque is unclear.

 

[done_got_old]

Since I've quit soccer, I've lost my goal in life.

 

[done_got_old]

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes

 

[done_got_old]

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

 

[mnbreastluver]

I typically avoid conversations with robots. They just drone on.

 

[done_got_old]

I typically avoid conversations with robots. They just drone on.

*groan* Love it!

 

[mnbreastluver]

*groan* Love it!

Lol glad you do.

 

[done_got_old]

Packing up and relocating to a new home can be a moving experience.

 

[greeneyedvirgin]

My cousin threw yogurt at me. How dairy.

 

[done_got_old]

I had a dream I went to Hell and Satan forced me to sing karaoke with him.
That's right, the Devil made me duet.

 

[done_got_old]

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.

 

[bone251]

What came first, the chicken or the egg?
The rooster!

Try saying rooster the next time you are in a long meeting a someone asks that. It is funny to see who laughs and who does not get it.

 

[done_got_old]

What came first, the chicken or the egg?
The rooster!

Try saying rooster the next time you are in a long meeting a someone asks that. It is funny to see who laughs and who does not get it.

If I still worked one of my co-workers and I would have had a ball with that. The poor principal would still be scratching her head.

 

[done_got_old]

I just sneezed while eating alphabet soup... took the words right out of my mouth.

 

[done_got_old]

2017 would have been a great year to open up a unisex haircut place and call it 'Totally Clips'.

 

[Pantyboy74]

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.