Puns

I messed up some tiles trying to install a bathroom floor myself. So when I called up a contractor, the receptionist answered..I was a little upset so I told her "I have a wrecked tile problem. Can you help me?' She said "Call a doctor" and hung up...?
 
What did the cargo shorts say to the boxer shorts after being away for a long time?

Brief me!
 
I got a handjob from a blind girl last night She said, “You have the biggest dick I’ve ever put my hands on.”
I said, “Nah. You’re just pulling my leg.”
 
My penis was in the Guinness book of world records.
Then the librarian told me to take it out.
 
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome…
I guess now it’s clear why everyone calls me handsome.
 
Oh, are those the work shoes your father used to wear?

Yes, these are Da's Boots.
 
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