Puns

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/71200310_10216797022331900_8573855999675334656_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&_nc_eui2=AeFm83idwQrCUML7xyEoUflolOuPMjUrc_h1vqedbt5DDspVHQvKc_Xb88nsmHhcWTF92njeJqCl2wcoQkxl3UE4xA-QZRAjRqZlekn40mJkWg&_nc_oc=AQlbYoJCct3_eXu_v2wVW8ndx2418p14LhDNi-d2rmVoEqvR6mO2s40yiNR3bgjX5Gg&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-2.xx&oh=dd7142340062aeb6ed3fbd45609b251f&oe=5E20EC63

 

[done_got_old]

Anyone who always tells the truth is a big liar.

 

[done_got_old]

I messed up some tiles trying to install a bathroom floor myself. So when I called up a contractor, the receptionist answered..I was a little upset so I told her "I have a wrecked tile problem. Can you help me?' She said "Call a doctor" and hung up...?

 

[mnbreastluver]

What did the cargo shorts say to the boxer shorts after being away for a long time?

Brief me!

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/42841295_10156731759911263_4194509389631062016_n.jpg?_nc_cat=109&_nc_oc=AQkIXjYPo8Snrtmajo9cI93fOHt1j0PiEwEamydNH8sseIeIOd8JUxKzq6eimxHoUgfVY2A0TQuDoEFqmfLXOBeX&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=d8c30e0ec1533915e0f38b0c6710b7ff&oe=5E28C18B

 

[mnbreastluver]

What did the skydiver say when her pack didn't open?

Chute!

 

[SweetCheeks879]

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

 

[Eisranac]

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

I find that illuminating.

 

[mnbreastluver]

What do you get when you cross a bell and a humming bird?
A humdinger.

 

[SweetCheeks879]

I couldn't figure out why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me

 

[mnbreastluver]

Did you hear about the short psychic who escaped from prison?
She was a medium at large.

 

[SweetCheeks879]

What do you call a man that cries while masturbating? A tearjerker

 

[mnbreastluver]

I got a handjob from a blind girl last night She said, “You have the biggest dick I’ve ever put my hands on.”
I said, “Nah. You’re just pulling my leg.”

 

[SweetCheeks879]

What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty

 

[mnbreastluver]

Today I was asked to go out, by 20 girls.
I was in the women’s bathroom.

 

[SweetCheeks879]

Rough sex isn't all its choked up to be

 

[mnbreastluver]

My penis was in the Guinness book of world records.
Then the librarian told me to take it out.

 

[SweetCheeks879]

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion

 

[mnbreastluver]

If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome…
I guess now it’s clear why everyone calls me handsome.

 

[SweetCheeks879]

Sausage puns are the wurst

 

[mnbreastluver]

I would tell you a penis joke…
But I don’t want to come across as cocky.

 

[dashie33]

I ate a clock.

It was time-consuming, especially when I had seconds.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/11870645_10153380615229504_7217862495964969575_n.jpg?_nc_cat=107&_nc_eui2=AeF_pU0OCm-3x4YU7v3cIemqNagKYKWtvt5p5Z8ObAc26KsMER4c6T8Qu-FcPEdT3486uiomMm2shvaEjaLl14geNfAzxB8PObWyChTfrO41Cg&_nc_oc=AQnUCfllAy9LV4V8xTmQF8Q0VtbgfxrgN4_OmlJSL2jeCVIB_FdjtGuBvjlb4F6Kbikxwr6Pi6XgiMKd1k_4UPel&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=4b991a58b28ebe7f631eb9cad9d7b9cf&oe=5E2E8313

 

[dashie33]

Oh, are those the work shoes your father used to wear?

Yes, these are Da's Boots.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/72487980_10220362956051971_6465814294779920384_n.jpg?_nc_cat=111&_nc_eui2=AeHnRoRp8IAn3A5KOKOsyZqjmV1ai6yzjHvott2FiH1Hd1kpM-MCV2Z-wa3CMF-WDkbF9P57eldbJG1Wk7eciPJV68PHuIMggK19P-BqlEa4GA&_nc_oc=AQn5sGC8u4c8wS1_957m9LJ6f-5iSFwVunIuWnPs771L0aezsTrOTPZL-3JIBu1D78l7hfxX02mkuGFD2zEY6baz&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=25d60f3de0c88c1bc4f3ea851b40d9d4&oe=5DF4A2E4