Puns

[done_got_old]

I am speechless...
...because you have been on a roll.

It was cinnamon!

 

[done_got_old]

After a mathematician gets divorced the ex is no longer part of the equation.

 

[Apisto42]

I asked a statistician for her phone number... and she gave me an estimate.

 

[done_got_old]

“What do you call really big army ants? GI-ants.”

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-dfw5-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/71794930_10217845592303958_7166996769895612416_n.jpg?_nc_cat=103&_nc_oc=AQka5GJxxU134_pux7s5J-Q7H5hAphsYc5s2VppW1AtC97hc68q7zzavoP7hiZTqkqo&_nc_ht=scontent-dfw5-1.xx&oh=571eb887a7f50d5df621bf910e0c73b7&oe=5DFDC382

 

[Wife of Bath]

Why is it that no matter how far you push the envelope, it doesn’t move?


It’s stationary.

 

[done_got_old]

His hopes of providing the energy needs for his home by igniting methane gas proved to be little more than a flash in the pan.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-dfw5-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/1233454_10153301811510377_1811193412_n.jpg?_nc_cat=107&_nc_oc=AQkNFX7NcCW5GD8k-a71jgagM_GG43O27hVaUDtAManvxOdyeNRuSX41hnpKvK4TzVo&_nc_ht=scontent-dfw5-1.xx&oh=8aed754a8c46e04d48ffce2969f7fc12&oe=5DF40744

 

[Eisranac]

https://scontent-dfw5-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/1233454_10153301811510377_1811193412_n.jpg?_nc_cat=107&_nc_oc=AQkNFX7NcCW5GD8k-a71jgagM_GG43O27hVaUDtAManvxOdyeNRuSX41hnpKvK4TzVo&_nc_ht=scontent-dfw5-1.xx&oh=8aed754a8c46e04d48ffce2969f7fc12&oe=5DF40744

There appears to be an overpass in the background.

If your wrists hurt while driving in that flooding lane under that overpass, would you be suffering from car pool tunnel syndrome?

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-dfw5-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/71597511_2496077327104629_7542352447432294400_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&_nc_eui2=AeGi6snu9FKREaCnqIcQYjIpyfUHFUlOiMBEcCyM6fEpzxfEUyTrePaH2x2Q76iBjozgNBc-pbGnrkwPPAF4W4P7jyI9P9NH9YXw_8FBXUx-1w&_nc_oc=AQkiISS6OMGMaAkeup5QnNudefBDrYvlr3ul2hK0s4kiDdpGpgwLhgBy2E85l0LsFk4&_nc_ht=scontent-dfw5-1.xx&oh=034a180d72b2761cb7d05e8ec2bb8668&oe=5E307E41

 

[done_got_old]

It's OK to borrow a book from the public library once in a while, but try not to overdue it.

 

[done_got_old]

My proctologist gave me two thumbs up...Which I did not appreciate

 

[done_got_old]

If Watson isn’t the most famous doctor in the world, then Who is.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-dfw5-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/71500200_2403456163108735_5097477296692920320_n.png?_nc_cat=103&_nc_eui2=AeGj8hYNFPoBAjXrCyBd2Jyqfk6QK2h403bKhbUo1oIF6vCFcHNUwRGrzkf4pMB_td5qX4lDbwP4FAempTYPd4zXtMy26gl502FPaeM1r45t3Q&_nc_oc=AQm5ZIDLTJAmn09qtyYActf4pgkaQpvvhAtbFPBX2VhgCpcorwT6Zt0hFzYu6M7U3iE&_nc_ht=scontent-dfw5-1.xx&oh=1e817d57c22d9e060f98dc098b72d8f4&oe=5E3BB18C

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-dfw5-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/69543121_10214972279528166_2348910527486361600_n.jpg?_nc_cat=108&_nc_eui2=AeHVmDqIVoBmXIcOIDTno6yQ7fBVgdb9nOG3IaQNTARwk8McaCwlVUCYb-o3JVstfclLhdB4QNsULd8iZMTh64ipfIBpqjThefIFiRiaSNrlsw&_nc_oc=AQmcIbSg2ohoMjgmm_uXYQxMf_Uv4LdFQUBFZYT_29OYEgKT5iSEPNL7OvqZ9Crx7fY&_nc_ht=scontent-dfw5-1.xx&oh=1f99ede0d0564321edbabc5ce7f7fa35&oe=5E2CA747

 

[mnbreastluver]

If someone dies and is put into a hearse, but wasn't really dead so gets out of the hearse, but finally dies for real and gets put back into the hearse, both the first and second time was the rehearsal.

 

[done_got_old]

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

 

[Eisranac]

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

I thought I red that somewhere before, but it must've blue right past me.

I hope that dye is not disa-green with you too much inside.

Good thing you saw a doctor. White take any chances?

Orange you glad that I care?

 

[done_got_old]

I thought I red that somewhere before, but it must've blue right past me.

I hope that dye is not disa-green with you too much inside.

Good thing you saw a doctor. White take any chances?

Orange you glad that I care?

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/71654813_2407434089377609_4885710176067256320_n.jpg?_nc_cat=102&_nc_eui2=AeGDP3ROc8FnrkQESmgjbPyDVc6dNgvEwhhWpnxF-Fds48kwIdIJ3j5HTakFcemDPeqlQkyHC2HzHTADnBmUKTTlKC8NWjhwDBc106VNeTIXsw&_nc_oc=AQmpFK0-IcgCXLMOgtCHuOn4LKTJ0bb363WDm_jRiqxRDkT_8_9wKqRJuoRH_uGfqADvdme691zU0hSPNnptRY0b&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=2553a74b4325128ea49a89c6234e54b1&oe=5E3ABDB5

 

[Eisranac]

You made my day with that response. Thank you, done_got_old.

By the way, was your doctor's name Roy G. Biv?

 

[done_got_old]

My GPS freaks me out I keep getting the message "Police reported a head"... where's the rest of the body?

 

[mnbreastluver]

What is gray and has four legs and a trunk?

A mouse going on vacation.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/l/t1.0-9/71783166_2641568092541557_2617967379354746880_n.jpg?_nc_cat=102&_nc_eui2=AeGEmcWKoddlBeXwYU0CpuzR_wFNbxVu3sfKfdiUQduK1Rpp0pMGWf4rqEQTOCa0_YIGBOz3yLRTJE9e1b3nOATUDr4Rw0PsH-mWe30l9f9L3A&_nc_oc=AQmQZ7H_odc7yn1NoPUBBeNWPPYoe01WqvTK_m1lmNyQsocQHEsjVYGJ8mjnph8yU-E&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-2.xx&oh=59534a5a0eeda637fc963286cf852718&oe=5DEF4768

 

[mnbreastluver]

How often should a person make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.