Pros and Cons of Divorce and starting over...
- Thread starter *bratcat*
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lovetoread
hello daddy
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You betcha.
Oh the tales I could tell.
Oh the tales I could tell.
Lost Cause
It's a wrap!
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If I understood the question...
Do you mean divorce only, or divorcing and starting over with the ex?
If it's a cold divorce:
Pros: You start to grow again, instead of being stagnant.
Cons: Dividing up memories equally, including children (if any).
Divorce and start over with ex:
Pros: Familiarity and you're taken more seriously with issues.
Cons: If there was infidelity, you'll never have trust in the relationship..ever!
Been there in both situations, happily single!
Do you mean divorce only, or divorcing and starting over with the ex?
If it's a cold divorce:
Pros: You start to grow again, instead of being stagnant.
Cons: Dividing up memories equally, including children (if any).
Divorce and start over with ex:
Pros: Familiarity and you're taken more seriously with issues.
Cons: If there was infidelity, you'll never have trust in the relationship..ever!
Been there in both situations, happily single!
lovetoread
hello daddy
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2001
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- 42,978
Its something that no one can tell you.
Everyone does divorces differently.
Me?
I wish I had not trusted my ex at all, and now I am screwed.
Know deep down that it is something you want to do.
I knew I was serious when I started looking up SC's laws about divorce.
(BTW its one year in a no fault divorce)
Get a lawyer find out the ins and outs of what is neccessary to get one.
Pro:
I am not with him
Con:
My kids no longer have him in their life,as he has decided to re live his childhood.
Whatever happens,dont rush. You can live seperately before actually divorcing.
Everyone does divorces differently.
Me?
I wish I had not trusted my ex at all, and now I am screwed.
Know deep down that it is something you want to do.
I knew I was serious when I started looking up SC's laws about divorce.
(BTW its one year in a no fault divorce)
Get a lawyer find out the ins and outs of what is neccessary to get one.
Pro:
I am not with him
Con:
My kids no longer have him in their life,as he has decided to re live his childhood.
Whatever happens,dont rush. You can live seperately before actually divorcing.
G
Guest
Guest
Are you thinking of divorcing you husband?
Lost Cause
It's a wrap!
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2001
- Posts
- 30,949
Be ready for a million emotions..
Cons first:
You'll go through all the emotional phases of a death, except the person is still around. You have a feeling of "what's wrong with me, why can't I be like everyone else?" Going through the stuff you're taking with you, will bring on the emotional feelings you had when you were in love, and the reality of the divorce swings you back and forth, clouding your judgement. Your daily routine change is radically different as you don't have to account to anyone, or feel needed. It takes months to find new interests and friends that will not remind you of the ex. If you don't have anything that will occupy your idle time, you'll feel lonely in that transition time, join a gym! It gets better as the time passes, be patient, get to know yourself first. (you are your own best friend)
Pros:
You can run with scissors, drink out of the milk carton, leave all the lights on, dance naked to loud music, masturbate in front of the computer without worring about being "caught", buy a Harley, meet new people and advance your experiences, eat ice cream at 3am, not have to meet someone else's approval, free to go about your life as you see fit, join the Army, travel without having to arrange it around someone else's work schedule, if a friend calls at midnite to go party..you're there, and most important...if you want to have meaningless, animal, knock the walls down sex with a stranger or a Lit member, you can!
Cons first:
You'll go through all the emotional phases of a death, except the person is still around. You have a feeling of "what's wrong with me, why can't I be like everyone else?" Going through the stuff you're taking with you, will bring on the emotional feelings you had when you were in love, and the reality of the divorce swings you back and forth, clouding your judgement. Your daily routine change is radically different as you don't have to account to anyone, or feel needed. It takes months to find new interests and friends that will not remind you of the ex. If you don't have anything that will occupy your idle time, you'll feel lonely in that transition time, join a gym! It gets better as the time passes, be patient, get to know yourself first. (you are your own best friend)
Pros:
You can run with scissors, drink out of the milk carton, leave all the lights on, dance naked to loud music, masturbate in front of the computer without worring about being "caught", buy a Harley, meet new people and advance your experiences, eat ice cream at 3am, not have to meet someone else's approval, free to go about your life as you see fit, join the Army, travel without having to arrange it around someone else's work schedule, if a friend calls at midnite to go party..you're there, and most important...if you want to have meaningless, animal, knock the walls down sex with a stranger or a Lit member, you can!
cutie pie
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2002
- Posts
- 3,786
Like LTR said, each situation is unique.
Mine:
PRO: I am living completely on my own for the first time ever; There is nobody suggesting that I'm wrong or eating too much or spending too much money; My daughter is much happier now that Mommy's not being a bitch 24/7; It's my life and I can live it the way I want. . .within the bounds of propriety, of course. I am making new friends who are supportive and interested in me and my life.
CON: Lack of sex. Ummmm. . .seriously, for me that is the only bad thing about divorcing him. . .and the sex wasn't even that spectacular.
Mine:
PRO: I am living completely on my own for the first time ever; There is nobody suggesting that I'm wrong or eating too much or spending too much money; My daughter is much happier now that Mommy's not being a bitch 24/7; It's my life and I can live it the way I want. . .within the bounds of propriety, of course. I am making new friends who are supportive and interested in me and my life.
CON: Lack of sex. Ummmm. . .seriously, for me that is the only bad thing about divorcing him. . .and the sex wasn't even that spectacular.
thumbs2_ca
wishin I was fishin
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- Jun 24, 2001
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ok
Pros - You wake up in the morning looking forward to your day and you do not have the feeling of gloom when it is time to go home. There are lots more pros in the freedom category.
I really did feel a big weight off my shoulders but it was the toughest decision I ever made
Cons - You feel pretty awful because you are changing your childrens lives forever. I felt like I was quiting on my wife because I was not strong to handle her alcoholism. Splitting up all the memories and property that you accumulate over time was tough.
I never look back though and wish I had not done it.
I know this does not help too much because everyone's situation is different but those are my thoughts.
Pros - You wake up in the morning looking forward to your day and you do not have the feeling of gloom when it is time to go home. There are lots more pros in the freedom category.
I really did feel a big weight off my shoulders but it was the toughest decision I ever made
Cons - You feel pretty awful because you are changing your childrens lives forever. I felt like I was quiting on my wife because I was not strong to handle her alcoholism. Splitting up all the memories and property that you accumulate over time was tough.
I never look back though and wish I had not done it.
I know this does not help too much because everyone's situation is different but those are my thoughts.
