Privacy's

[graceanne]

B and D are playing, and my niece, K said "Can I play?"

B said "Sure, we're playing mommies and doggies and honey's!"


I call K honey.

***********

Sunday, K got out of bed and yelled "Woman! Where's my breakfast?" B ran into the kitchen, where I was frying some eggs, to say "Mommy! Daddy call you a woman!" I laughed and said for her to tell him that I called him a man. Kenny told her "I am a man, and your mommy's a woman." Beth shook her head and said "nu-huh!" So I asked her if I'm not a woman what am I? She rolled her eyes and said "You're a mommy!"


I forgot that when you have children you loose your gender.

 

[shy slave]

My munchkin amazon soccer team played in a tourney last sunday and we had a really evil ref. He'd made one or two bad calls, but we've discussed how you handle a rotten ref. But one of the more excitable girl's did yell back at him. He threatened to go directly to a red card (which is not allowed, btw, in the Munchkin League). She turned around and said real quietly "You wouldn't be so tough without that black and white shirt." And then had the nerve to protest her yellow.

On one hand, I felt for her, cause he was being really unfair. On the other hand, we've discussed not antagonizing the refs.... I did file a protest about his unfair practice, but we had a parental diplomatic incident over this. The yellow card was totally above and beyond what she had done; but I agree that he couldn't let that pass unchallenged.

I love it when they are assertive and show an adult that its about respect not age.
The comment about his shirt would have made me really proud or her.
Your a lucky woman snowy

 

[shy slave]

B and D are playing, and my niece, K said "Can I play?"

B said "Sure, we're playing mommies and doggies and honey's!"


I call K honey.

***********

Sunday, K got out of bed and yelled "Woman! Where's my breakfast?" B ran into the kitchen, where I was frying some eggs, to say "Mommy! Daddy call you a woman!" I laughed and said for her to tell him that I called him a man. Kenny told her "I am a man, and your mommy's a woman." Beth shook her head and said "nu-huh!" So I asked her if I'm not a woman what am I? She rolled her eyes and said "You're a mommy!"


I forgot that when you have children you loose your gender.

LOL

But who plays the doggy?

 

[graceanne]

LOL

But who plays the doggy?

That's the problem with when they play. Their's always a fight over who gets to be the doggy. Only my children.

When my sister, L, was 3 (she's 16 years younger than me), we lived right by a grade school, and she used to chase the kids down the sidewalk, barking at them. Mom and I would just die laughing, it was hilarious.

 

[Cleopatra]

So many things I'm learning as a mother...

1) If they say something outrageous, you must try HARD not to burst out laughing, becuase if they see that it makes you laugh, they'll say it continuously for the next year. To everyone. At the WORST times.

2) A 4-year-old pout is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen.

3) Any and all words/phrases that are taught to the kids (meant to be said in jest, as in "Go tell Mommy she better have my dinner ready when I get home or else!") will be repeated to the grandparents/inlaws at the first chance, usually taken completely out of context.

4) The best idea I ever had was confining certain topics to certain rooms. Now, our discussion of bathroom topics is limited to while we're *in* the bathroom, only. Brilliant, if I may say so myself.

5) Having a 4-year-old tell you that "she needs some space" makes think twice the next time you toss off a "throwaway" comment. Same with "do you still love me if you're annoyed with me?"

 

[Sir_Winston54]

This seems like the perfect thread for this, even though it's long...

Baby Power

Hello, my name is Quinn, and I'm nine months old. This is powerful advice for all you babies out there. Parents, please leave now, or you will be punished. Okay, now that the minions are gone, let's get down to business.

Do you feel like you have no control over your life? Do your mommy and daddy make you do and wear things you absolutely hate? Are you at the bottom of your family's power structure? I'm here to tell you that all this can be a thing of the past. By following my ten simple rules, you'll be wearing the diaper and the pants in the family in no time!

Rule #1

You have absolute power.

Repeat this to yourself on a daily basis. You are the ruler of your universe. Your parents are there to serve you, not the other way around. You have unlimited power over them.

Rule #2

Cry.

Tears are your biggest asset in your arsenal against your parents. If you don't like something, cry! Parents have absolutely no defense against this wet onslaught. They will do anything to get you to stop. This is especially useful in public places. For maximum effectiveness, increase volume every fifteen seconds.

Rule #3

Be cute.

This is your number one defense mechanism. You're going to pull a lot of crap most people would never get away with, and your cute factor is the only thing allowing this. Flash a smile, and your parents will go weak in the knees with gushing admiration of your blessed existence, even after you've just broken half the stuff in the house.

Rule #4

Keep them weak.

I don't care if you have to set an alarm clock for yourself, but you need to wake your parents up at least three times a night. A rested parent is a strong parent, and that means bad news for you. The more weary they are, the more malleable to your intricate plans of global domination.

Rule #5

Pee on them.

Once out of every ten diaper changes, you should let loose your golden stream of glory. This shows them who's boss, and keeps them on their toes. If you can, aim for the face for maximum effectiveness. At the very least, you should be able to cover yourself as well as a portion of your parent's clothes. This works well for those situations where they've put you in an embarrassing outfit, or they're in a hurry to get somewhere

Rule #6

Make them carry you.

Do not let them put you down! This is very important. The moment they realize you can get around by yourself, they will no longer want to carry you. If you are put on the ground, see rule #2. Your parents are strong, and there's two of them. They can carry you forever.

Rule #7

Smack them around a little.

Parents are under the false impression that we have very little control over our arms and legs. Use this to your advantage! Every now and then, just randomly slap them in the face, and then smile and laugh. They may curse a little, but I guarantee no harm will come to you. They are powerless against the smile and laugh combination.

Rule #8

Women and grandparents love babies.

Capturing this key demographic can bring you joys beyond your wildest expectations. Toys, food, and attention can all be yours when you manipulate this segment of the population. Gramps will even let you watch the Spice channel if nobody else is around!

Rule #9

Siblings exist for your amusement.

Your brothers and sisters are the court jesters in your vast kingdom. They are there for your personal entertainment, and nothing more. Laugh at their crazy antics, but the moment they get out of line with that "the baby gets all the attention" crap, pull their hair. One word of warning though. Make sure a parent is nearby when you do this, as siblings are immune to your cute defense mechanisms. Be sure to cry, so your parent is alerted to your mortal danger.

Rule #10

No private time.

This is perhaps the most important rule of them all. Do not let your parents have private time! If you hear these evil words uttered, alarms should go off in your head. Nothing good can come from private time. At the very least, private time rejuvenates them, making them more resistant to your powers. And in the worst possible scenario, private time could lead to a new baby replacing you as the ruler of the house! This event needs to be stopped at all costs!

That's it, troops. Follow these simple rules and you should have a long and fruitful reign as ruler of your household.

You have the power!

 

[babiesmiles]

I followed all ( well not exactly all ) these rules all my life with everyone I met , and I'm submissive , does it mean submissives at last get the power ?

 

[graceanne]

OMG LMAO *gasp* I'm turning blue here! LOL

 

[graceanne]

Oh, lord, I'm glad that D was born last. He just grabbed B's doll by the head with his mouth and ran off, with her chasing him screaming "Don't bite my baby!"

 

[snowy ciara]

I love it when they are assertive and show an adult that its about respect not age.
The comment about his shirt would have made me really proud or her.
Your a lucky woman snowy

I'm having a blast with my munchkin amazons. This is the first year I've coached any youth leagues and I'm so doing it again! The shirt comment made kat wonder about my influence on them. As in, "I don't question your leadership ability; I just wonder where you're leading them..."

 

[graceanne]

Ok, this was kind of weird. In a funny way. D found one of K's belts, and ran into the living room to hit his sister with it.

I swear, they've never caught us!

 

[h_i_s]

Rule #5

Pee on them.

Once out of every ten diaper changes, you should let loose your golden stream of glory. This shows them who's boss, and keeps them on their toes. If you can, aim for the face for maximum effectiveness. At the very least, you should be able to cover yourself as well as a portion of your parent's clothes. This works well for those situations where they've put you in an embarrassing outfit, or they're in a hurry to get somewhere

Oh, you forgot that #5 is a two part rule?!? Sir_Winston?

Part B:
Spit up on them.

Every chance you get, shower them with the nasty sour smell of regurgitated formula (or breast milk, whichever applies). Aim for the face, but know that this works best when they are speaking baby talk at you with wide opened mouths. This method is also especially effective when aimed at their hair, the sofa, or even the family dog, or siblings. This works just as well for those situations where they've put you in an embarrassing outfit, or they're in a hurry to get somewhere, put you down for a nap, or bedtime. Extra points are earned when spitting up on oneself immediately after they have taken the time to dress you immediately following your bath.

Thanks Sir_Winston. i got a good chuckle or two in reading your post.

 

[graceanne]

Oh, you forgot that #5 is a two part rule?!? Sir_Winston?

Part B:
Spit up on them.

Every chance you get, shower them with the nasty sour smell of regurgitated formula (or breast milk, whichever applies). Aim for the face, but know that this works best when they are speaking baby talk at you with wide opened mouths. This method is also especially effective when aimed at their hair, the sofa, or even the family dog, or siblings. This works just as well for those situations where they've put you in an embarrassing outfit, or they're in a hurry to get somewhere, put you down for a nap, or bedtime. Extra points are earned when spitting up on oneself immediately after they have taken the time to dress you immediately following your bath.

Thanks Sir_Winston. i got a good chuckle or two in reading your post.

Ah the joys of parenthood. Take my advice: cut your hair. It's the only way to keep it clean.

 

[graceanne]

Today we had church outside. I was sitting in the grass listening, and B came up to me and said "Mommy, you aren't happy." I laughed and said "I'm not? Why aren't I happy?" B said "Cause you don't have a flower!" and pulled a flower out from behind her back. It was so cute, I just grabbed her and smothered her with kisses right there.

 

[timberwolf05]

crying

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo
Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked
to judge. The purpose of the contest
was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose
next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had
recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man
cry, the little boy went into the old
gentleman's yard, climbed onto his
lap, and just sat there. When his Mother
asked what he had said to the
neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I
just helped him cry"
__________________
-----------------------------------------------------------
now understand, i will never have kids, because i can't. but this one just made ME cry.....
damn!

the wolf

 

[shy slave]

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo
Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked
to judge. The purpose of the contest
was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose
next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had
recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man
cry, the little boy went into the old
gentleman's yard, climbed onto his
lap, and just sat there. When his Mother
asked what he had said to the
neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I
just helped him cry"
__________________
-----------------------------------------------------------
now understand, i will never have kids, because i can't. but this one just made ME cry.....
damn!

the wolf

Ahhhh

Thats a good story, sometimes we underestimate kids.

 

[swt_babygirl]

When my daughter was three she was a hellion, cussed like a sailor because my grandparents thought it was cute to teach her to do so.

I remember once we we invited a friend over for dinner he wanted us to meet his new girlfriend, after dinner we were sitting around watching a movie and talking, (he had laready warned his new girlfriend about our daugher and her antics) my three year old(who is 13 now) was sitting on his girlfriends lap and the sweet girl looke dat him and said D* she is nothing like you said she was she is the sweetest kid I know. my daughter jumped off her lap ran into her bedroom came back with a toy umbrella, looked at her and said I'll give you sweet i'll beat the H E && out of you with this, the girl looke dat us and him with her jaw on the ground in shock. To this day everytime we see the girl out somewhere she reminds of the time my daughter said that to her my daughter just smiles and says well you want some.


Another time we took my grandmother and my the same sweet then 3 year old to town shopping at the local Wal-Mart, we walked in the door and my grandmother who was holding her at the time put her down and let her walk but she started to walk away from my grandmother, so she screamed at top of her lings get your A%% back here my daughter turned around and yelled I'll beat your A%% and started running back toward my grandmother, my grandmother turns and runs from her, the whole screaming back to the 3 year old I whip your A&& and the # year old is screaming I'll Whipe your A%%. my husband and I just looked at each other and all the people staring and said we don't know them and went and got what we had been shopping for to start with and met the two of them back at the car , the two of them still screaming and cussing each other.

The 3 year old is now 13 and has out grown the cussing, but is still a hand full, she doesn't take any crap off of anybody and will just as soon jump a snake as look at one, but she's a sweet kid now, straight A student, wants to be a surgeon when she grows up.

 

[graceanne]

When my daughter was three she was a hellion, cussed like a sailor because my grandparents thought it was cute to teach her to do so.

I remember once we we invited a friend over for dinner he wanted us to meet his new girlfriend, after dinner we were sitting around watching a movie and talking, (he had laready warned his new girlfriend about our daugher and her antics) my three year old(who is 13 now) was sitting on his girlfriends lap and the sweet girl looke dat him and said D* she is nothing like you said she was she is the sweetest kid I know. my daughter jumped off her lap ran into her bedroom came back with a toy umbrella, looked at her and said I'll give you sweet i'll beat the H E && out of you with this, the girl looke dat us and him with her jaw on the ground in shock. To this day everytime we see the girl out somewhere she reminds of the time my daughter said that to her my daughter just smiles and says well you want some.


Another time we took my grandmother and my the same sweet then 3 year old to town shopping at the local Wal-Mart, we walked in the door and my grandmother who was holding her at the time put her down and let her walk but she started to walk away from my grandmother, so she screamed at top of her lings get your A%% back here my daughter turned around and yelled I'll beat your A%% and started running back toward my grandmother, my grandmother turns and runs from her, the whole screaming back to the 3 year old I whip your A&& and the # year old is screaming I'll Whipe your A%%. my husband and I just looked at each other and all the people staring and said we don't know them and went and got what we had been shopping for to start with and met the two of them back at the car , the two of them still screaming and cussing each other.

The 3 year old is now 13 and has out grown the cussing, but is still a hand full, she doesn't take any crap off of anybody and will just as soon jump a snake as look at one, but she's a sweet kid now, straight A student, wants to be a surgeon when she grows up.

LOL Sounds like your grandma was reaping what she sewed. I'm glad she's doing so well, though. I bet you're proud.

 

[graceanne]

I was putting on my three year olds shoes, and I remembered that last year I was looking for shoes for her, and she was spazzing cause she didn't have shoes on. I found them, and managed to catch her attention so she'd know I had her shoes. She went from wail to dancing around chanting "Shoe-shoe, shoe-shoe. Woo hoo, woo hoo! Shoe-shoe, shoe-shoe!"

She's a bit moody. Takes after K and my mother in that way. Hopefully she'll take more after K than my mom, since my mom's borderline bi-polar.

 

[swt_babygirl]

LOL Sounds like your grandma was reaping what she sewed. I'm glad she's doing so well, though. I bet you're proud.

I am very proud of her.

 

[graceanne]

I am very proud of her.

I can tell.

 

[graceanne]

Ok, so I found this site that not only has the words to kids songs, but has the background music for them. I clicked on a song, and B (my four year old) said "Oh my gosh, I hate this song. My boyfriend sings it all the time." then she rolled her eyes.

I laughed and said "Your boyfriend?"

She said: 'well, i grow up, and then I have a boyfriend, and he sing this and I hate it. But I want one (boyfriend), not two. Then that man, he said 'I wanna marry you', but I said 'no, I wanna marry this man. Not that little boy, but the big boy!"

ROFLMAO

edited to add: here's that site

http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/musicchild.htm#index

 

[brioche]

When my brother was younger and he was signing up for daycare with my mum, the lady looked at his and said patronizingly, "Do you know who your Dr. is?" My brother looked back at her and said, "Yes, Dr. Mc Needle (It was McNeil but he had gotten booster shots). Do YOU know who YOUR doctor is?" Do not patronize a gifted three year old.

One of the ones I was reminded of recently: in my first JK/SK class there was a boy who wouldn't stay sitting to eat unless I sat there and watched him. one day, when he was done, i told him to throw away his garbage. He looked at me and said, quite calmly, "I think that's your job." I said, "No, I think that's YOUR job." He said, "I'm pretty sure that's your job." I told him it was not my job (which we say a lot - It's not my job to throw away your garbage, i'm your teacher not your Mommy, etc.) and he needed to do it, which he did. It was the calmness that got me. My brother was there as a volunteer and loved it. It was also good because for once I could meet the eyes of a grownup after one of these things.

 

[graceanne]

When my brother was younger and he was signing up for daycare with my mum, the lady looked at his and said patronizingly, "Do you know who your Dr. is?" My brother looked back at her and said, "Yes, Dr. Mc Needle (It was McNeil but he had gotten booster shots). Do YOU know who YOUR doctor is?" Do not patronize a gifted three year old.

One of the ones I was reminded of recently: in my first JK/SK class there was a boy who wouldn't stay sitting to eat unless I sat there and watched him. one day, when he was done, i told him to throw away his garbage. He looked at me and said, quite calmly, "I think that's your job." I said, "No, I think that's YOUR job." He said, "I'm pretty sure that's your job." I told him it was not my job (which we say a lot - It's not my job to throw away your garbage, i'm your teacher not your Mommy, etc.) and he needed to do it, which he did. It was the calmness that got me. My brother was there as a volunteer and loved it. It was also good because for once I could meet the eyes of a grownup after one of these things.

A friend of mine tells a story about her daughter, when she was three. She was in the basket of a grocery cart, laying there with her hand to her forhead. A lady came up and said "Oh, isn't she cute. What are you doing sweety?"

Mary Helen said "I'm languishing." (She was really big into charlottes web at the time.)

 

[marieR19]

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!
Graceanne, that children's songs site....... WOW. I have only looked at like eight of the songs so far and I'm already almost crying. There are songs on there that I remember from kindagarten, and music class in elementary school, songs that have stayed in my memory but I thought I would never see/hear again! Thank you so much for this amazing trip down memory lane. wow!!!



Heather