Privacy's

[graceanne]

I'll be babysitting my three cousins for a whole week in september, because their parents are going on vacation.
Thankfully my granny will be there, too, so at least the food will be terrific. But I'm expecting a tough time, especially with the youngest, 4 yo, my goddaughter.

Most likely, but you'll probably get some good laughs, too. *hugs*

 

[chris9]

Most likely, but you'll probably get some good laughs, too. *hugs*

Yep. And I actually learned through experience to get her to bed (at least I hope so).
And then there's always my granny's cooking to look forward to. And the time the kids are in kindergarten and school.

 

[graceanne]

So Dominoes is having this deal where you can get three pizza's for five dollars apiece. We ordered out tonight, and A was at my side bugging me to let her answer the door, get the pizza's and pay the delivery guy. I finally asked her why, and she's all 'Cause we want to feel grown up!'

 

[graceanne]

A *bump* and a couple of very funny stories.

First, the first thing K did in our new house was put a lock on our bedroom door. A, our 8 year old, has spent the last few months bugging me about why I get a lock and she doesn't. I got sick of it and finally told her the truth. "I don't want to worry about one of you three walking in on me and your dad while we're having sex!"

A got this HORRIFIED look on her face and she said 'YOU GUYS STILL DO THAT?'

I was like "A, we talked about this when you were six, you know about sex.'

A said 'yeah, but mo-om, your tubes are tied! why are you still doing that!

I said 'um, cause it's fun?' That just grossed her out even more. lol

 

[graceanne]

Oh, yeah the other story. A few days ago K and I were driving the kids somewhere (can't recall where, though), and D was telling me something. D just turned 4 and is sometimes still hard to understand. At one point K leaned over to me and said 'Did he just say shit?' I shrugged and D yelled from the backseat

"I DID NOT SAY SHIT!"

Then B, our very bossy five year old, said 'D, don't say shit.'

D said 'I DID NOT SAY SHIT!'

K's head fell on the steering wheel (we were at a stop light).

B said 'D! DON'T SAY SHIT!'

D said "I DID NOT SAY SHIT!'

B said 'MOM! D SAID SHIT!'

D said 'I DID NOT SAY SHIT, B!' and smacked his sister.

By now K was banging his head on the steering wheel and I was laughing my ass off, and B and D are in the back seat trying to kill eachother.

 

[Bandit58]

LOL gracie........the joys of children.......

*secretly glad hers are all growed up*

 

[graceanne]

LOL gracie........the joys of children.......

*secretly glad hers are all growed up*

You know my sister in law always tells me I'm going to miss this stage when they get older, but I personally think she should spend more time enjoying the now and less thinking about the back-then. I bet I'll enjoy them when they're grown, too. Besides, eventually I'll have grandchildren - I'll get the funnies, and none of the crap (literally and figuratively).

 

[Becca007]

I, also, reserve spanking. I use it for DIRECT disobedience, and then not always.
And my son has a HIGH pain tolerance, you have to spank REALLY hard for it to make a difference. And he'd rather get spanked than have a time out, anyway. So time out's it is.

When I was little I was a pain to discipline. I hated spankings! So much to the point I would run and hide in other rooms (which in turn would get me more spankings). It lasted for a while till one time I ran into my room and grabbed a couple of those soft back books and put them down the back of my pants so it looked normal. when I was found and put over a lap for my spanking, my mom used her hand and came down HARD on the books...I didn't get any spankings after that.
Then they tried putting me in the corner and that lasted for a little bit...till I started just going to sleep while I was sitting there with my head against the wall.
I got the "you have to write a page about what you did wrong and how sorry you are"...well about two lines of babble and a page of really really really sorry's...that didn't last too long either...
They did stop me from my running away attempts when I was little though...my mom told me that it was fine, I could run away whenever I wanted, but I had to leave the house with exactly I came into the world with...that pretty much stopped all tries.

Funny how things turn around and now I love spankings an would happily sit in a corner

 

[graceanne]

Ok, so my sister's been staying at her husbands. (They've been split up for five years, but can't afford a divorce.) Anyway, the day that asswipe died Mom took Miss to her hubby's house, where the kids were. My niece ran out, and said 'Grandma! Can you spend the night? You can sleep on the couch cause we have our own bed, and Mommy sleeps with Daddy!'

ROFLMAO

My mom says that everyone and everything in the house held their breaths, and my sister gave her daughter such a LOOK. lol

 

[graceanne]

We were driving and we went by a car with two police cars behind it. I said 'Someone's going to jail!'. The kids, of course, wanted to know why I said that. I explained, then my 9 year old said 'Mom? Is it illegal to go into bars under 21?"

I sad, "Yes, why?" She just shrugged.

I teased "Yeah, right. Admit it, you drunk, you've been bar hopping again."

A (fake) hiccuped! The smart ass.

I'm so proud.

 

[DeservingBitch]

I'm at my best friend's house, sitting on the toilet chatting with her while she's bathing her 3 years old. The kid is playing in the water, and suddenly, look at us with this horrified look on his face: "Mommyyyyyyyy??? There's a hole in my bum!!!"

Trying not to laugh too hard, my friend explains that yes, there's a hole there, everybody's got one, and that it is where the poop is coming from. The kid was staring at her, his brain visibly working hard at putting all the pieces together, and then, "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!", it all made sense to him!

 

[graceanne]

I'm at my best friend's house, sitting on the toilet chatting with her while she's bathing her 3 years old. The kid is playing in the water, and suddenly, look at us with this horrified look on his face: "Mommyyyyyyyy??? There's a hole in my bum!!!"

Trying not to laugh too hard, my friend explains that yes, there's a hole there, everybody's got one, and that it is where the poop is coming from. The kid was staring at her, his brain visibly working hard at putting all the pieces together, and then, "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!", it all made sense to him!

LOL It's so cool when you can watch your kids putting things together. D, my four year old, comes up and sucked in his breath. "Mama, look!'" he said, pointing at his ribs, which were standing out. I said "yep, those are your ribs." He thought that was so cool, he ran right over to my six year old "B! Look at my ribs!"

 

[Yang4yin]

I sure hope they don't see that youporn clip in the other thread!

 

[graceanne]

I sure hope they don't see that youporn clip in the other thread!

I sincerly doubt it.

 

[lilsubangel]

When my youngest son was 6 years old our family planned an outting at a local amusement park...well wouldn't you know it he woke up with the chicken pox and I stayed home with him while the rest of the family attended the outting. I was reading a story to him and out of the clear blue, in the most serious tone he asks, "mommy, why do I have the chicken pox, I didn't even touch a chicken?" I get such a kick out of that to this day. Same son is now 17 1/2.

 

[Luvkitty33]

My daughter said the cutest thing, and I had to share it.

Just as background, my husband is a bit more private and modest than I am. When the kids walk in on him while he's going to the bathroom he normally says, "Can I have some privacy?"

So my daughter came to me and told me that little kids have privates, but grown ups have privacy's.

I just saw this for the first time and thought it was so cute!!

When my younger sister and I were being potty trained, my parents would always make a big deal of it whenever we peed in the toilet. They would always say, "Good girl!" over and over. They said this so many times that my sister and I actually thought that pee was called, "good girl!" LOL You could here us saying, "Mommy, I have to go good girl.........right NOW!!"

 

[Mamid]

Text has been modified because... well... if you read it, you'll split a gut.
I recently picked up a potty training kit for DD. It comes with a dvd, a book, a doll, a teddy for said doll, and a potty for the doll as well. The doll's potty is remarkably like our own. I thought there was no problem with the doll, until DD pulled the panties off. The panties have, like the teddy bear, disapeared. "Mommy... she looks like me!"

Yes, the doll, Hannah, is anatomically correct for the appropriate age for potty training.

So I tried to explain them to her and she seemed satisfied. For a few days.

Then she came over to me and with hands and voice, asked me more questions, so I got out the mirror and showed her her "girl bits." We use "bits" for the generic term for genitalia of either sex. DS has decided his "bits" are his "tail" and DD is happy with calling them her "girl bits."

So, happy with my answer, she grabs the mirror and proceeds to inspect herself for a few minutes. Then, in her bright, 3 year old mind, she decides she has to show daddy. So there's Penalt, the poor man, holding an anatomically correct potty training doll in one hand, a mirror in the other underneath the doll and listening to his 3 yo DD talk about how the dolly has bits just like she does turning beat red. "My father never went through anything like this!" "Your father wasn't as open minded and caring as you."

The next day, she just had to take it to a family play centre with the book. She had to show the doll to everyone too. I had collected the doll and book and a few other things from the centre and was trying to watch the girls when this one woman walks off with my book and doll! She thought they belonged to the centre and were loaners! I had to chase after them and get them back.

To top it all off, I have been listening to that stupid dvd with the sing song thang for the last week and it is Driving Me Nuts! "Bye Bye Pee Pee! Bye Bye PooP! I've got a brand new potty and I know just what to do!" I'm in hell!!! If it was the Wiggles singing, I'd enjoy it, because at least they are cute. But a cartoony dvd? Oh well, at least she's trying to potty train now...

That 3yo daughter of mine is constantly engaging in fights with our one year old DD over the doll. I'm tempted to get a second potty to try and see if I can potty train our one year old at the same time. I know its a long shot, but that dvd seems to be having an effect on her too.

 

[DeservingBitch]

No kids, so I'll share two of mine as a kid:

We weren't allowed as kids to help ourselves for snacks or other food between meals. One evening a little before bedtime, I'm 4, my dad finds me on the kitchen floor eating away a box of cookies:

"DB, who gave you permission to eat cookies just before bedtime???"

"My conscience".


Other funny story: My siblings and I often took our bath together. At some point, around the same age, I discovered that my brother didn't have the same bits as I have. So, our bedtime story was about girls and boys, their different bits, and how me and my sisters were like mommy, and my brother was like Dad. Not long after that, I saw my Dad naked, and realized that while similar in shape, his bits was much bigger than my brother's, and somehow I assumed that my Dad's bits was unusually big, whereas my brother's bits size was standard.

A few day later, I'm at the grocery store with my Dad, and said to the cashier while my Dad was paying for the grocery "My daddy has a VE-RY BIG penis!".

I have no idea why I decided to share that information with that woman, but apparently, that was TMI for her!

 

[Luvkitty33]

No kids, so I'll share two of mine as a kid:

We weren't allowed as kids to help ourselves for snacks or other food between meals. One evening a little before bedtime, I'm 4, my dad finds me on the kitchen floor eating away a box of cookies:

"DB, who gave you permission to eat cookies just before bedtime???"

"My conscience".


Other funny story: My siblings and I often took our bath together. At some point, around the same age, I discovered that my brother didn't have the same bits as I have. So, our bedtime story was about girls and boys, their different bits, and how me and my sisters were like mommy, and my brother was like Dad. Not long after that, I saw my Dad naked, and realized that while similar in shape, his bits was much bigger than my brother's, and somehow I assumed that my Dad's bits was unusually big, whereas my brother's bits size was standard.

A few day later, I'm at the grocery store with my Dad, and said to the cashier while my Dad was paying for the grocery "My daddy has a VE-RY BIG penis!".

I have no idea why I decided to share that information with that woman, but apparently, that was TMI for her!

That is a hilarious story about the grocery store!!!!!!! Your poor dad!! You should submit this story to Readers' Digest or something!

 

[Luvkitty33]

Text has been modified because... well... if you read it, you'll split a gut.
I recently picked up a potty training kit for DD. It comes with a dvd, a book, a doll, a teddy for said doll, and a potty for the doll as well. The doll's potty is remarkably like our own. I thought there was no problem with the doll, until DD pulled the panties off. The panties have, like the teddy bear, disapeared. "Mommy... she looks like me!"

Yes, the doll, Hannah, is anatomically correct for the appropriate age for potty training.

So I tried to explain them to her and she seemed satisfied. For a few days.

Then she came over to me and with hands and voice, asked me more questions, so I got out the mirror and showed her her "girl bits." We use "bits" for the generic term for genitalia of either sex. DS has decided his "bits" are his "tail" and DD is happy with calling them her "girl bits."

So, happy with my answer, she grabs the mirror and proceeds to inspect herself for a few minutes. Then, in her bright, 3 year old mind, she decides she has to show daddy. So there's Penalt, the poor man, holding an anatomically correct potty training doll in one hand, a mirror in the other underneath the doll and listening to his 3 yo DD talk about how the dolly has bits just like she does turning beat red. "My father never went through anything like this!" "Your father wasn't as open minded and caring as you."

The next day, she just had to take it to a family play centre with the book. She had to show the doll to everyone too. I had collected the doll and book and a few other things from the centre and was trying to watch the girls when this one woman walks off with my book and doll! She thought they belonged to the centre and were loaners! I had to chase after them and get them back.

To top it all off, I have been listening to that stupid dvd with the sing song thang for the last week and it is Driving Me Nuts! "Bye Bye Pee Pee! Bye Bye PooP! I've got a brand new potty and I know just what to do!" I'm in hell!!! If it was the Wiggles singing, I'd enjoy it, because at least they are cute. But a cartoony dvd? Oh well, at least she's trying to potty train now...

That 3yo daughter of mine is constantly engaging in fights with our one year old DD over the doll. I'm tempted to get a second potty to try and see if I can potty train our one year old at the same time. I know its a long shot, but that dvd seems to be having an effect on her too.

Great story!!! Hey, you never know with the potty training thing.....it may be worth a shot. If it doesn't work, then at least your youngest will have had some pre-potty training...........kinda like preschool. Good luck getting that song out of your mind! *smiles*

 

[rida]

LOL! Kids surely say the darnest things sometime!

My younger DD is really a riot and here a funny story:

When younger DD was around 2 1/2, she had started going through the "boys have CHIN-CHIN and girls have OMATA " (sorry, using the japanese kiddy word for it). And she will often start with: " Mom, you are a girl so you have a OMATA; Daddy is a boy so he has a CHIN-CHIN ..." and going on through the list of all her daycare friends.
One day we are at my parents' house and while eating her snack, out of the blue she starts saying " Daddy is a boy and he has a CHIN-CHIN. I saw it. It's big! " ..... good thing hubby was not around and she spoke in Japanese so only my mother understood ... LOL

also, this post from AngelicAssasin was too sweet so I am posting the link ...
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=11772379&postcount=13

 

[Mamid]

omata and chin-chin... I'm going to have to use that. LOL

 

[graceanne]

Text has been modified because... well... if you read it, you'll split a gut.
I recently picked up a potty training kit for DD. It comes with a dvd, a book, a doll, a teddy for said doll, and a potty for the doll as well. The doll's potty is remarkably like our own. I thought there was no problem with the doll, until DD pulled the panties off. The panties have, like the teddy bear, disapeared. "Mommy... she looks like me!"

Yes, the doll, Hannah, is anatomically correct for the appropriate age for potty training.

So I tried to explain them to her and she seemed satisfied. For a few days.

Then she came over to me and with hands and voice, asked me more questions, so I got out the mirror and showed her her "girl bits." We use "bits" for the generic term for genitalia of either sex. DS has decided his "bits" are his "tail" and DD is happy with calling them her "girl bits."

So, happy with my answer, she grabs the mirror and proceeds to inspect herself for a few minutes. Then, in her bright, 3 year old mind, she decides she has to show daddy. So there's Penalt, the poor man, holding an anatomically correct potty training doll in one hand, a mirror in the other underneath the doll and listening to his 3 yo DD talk about how the dolly has bits just like she does turning beat red. "My father never went through anything like this!" "Your father wasn't as open minded and caring as you."

The next day, she just had to take it to a family play centre with the book. She had to show the doll to everyone too. I had collected the doll and book and a few other things from the centre and was trying to watch the girls when this one woman walks off with my book and doll! She thought they belonged to the centre and were loaners! I had to chase after them and get them back.

To top it all off, I have been listening to that stupid dvd with the sing song thang for the last week and it is Driving Me Nuts! "Bye Bye Pee Pee! Bye Bye PooP! I've got a brand new potty and I know just what to do!" I'm in hell!!! If it was the Wiggles singing, I'd enjoy it, because at least they are cute. But a cartoony dvd? Oh well, at least she's trying to potty train now...

That 3yo daughter of mine is constantly engaging in fights with our one year old DD over the doll. I'm tempted to get a second potty to try and see if I can potty train our one year old at the same time. I know its a long shot, but that dvd seems to be having an effect on her too.

ROFLMAO

 

[graceanne]

Other funny story: My siblings and I often took our bath together. At some point, around the same age, I discovered that my brother didn't have the same bits as I have. So, our bedtime story was about girls and boys, their different bits, and how me and my sisters were like mommy, and my brother was like Dad. Not long after that, I saw my Dad naked, and realized that while similar in shape, his bits was much bigger than my brother's, and somehow I assumed that my Dad's bits was unusually big, whereas my brother's bits size was standard.

A few day later, I'm at the grocery store with my Dad, and said to the cashier while my Dad was paying for the grocery "My daddy has a VE-RY BIG penis!".

I have no idea why I decided to share that information with that woman, but apparently, that was TMI for her!

That reminds me of a story. My brother in law and his sons were peeing together, cause it's eaiser to teach boys to potty train if they see their daddy doing it, too. Later on that day J (the youngest - 3 at the time) said to his mom "I have a small penis, and T (the next youngest - 6) has a bigger penis, but DADDY HAS THE BIGGEST PENIS OF ALL!"

Also, I don't recall if I've posted this if I have I apologize. My son was one day in front of the full length mirror, admiring his penis. Every few minutes he'd turn around and look at me and say 'mine!'. I'd just nod and say 'yep, that's yours'. He did that a couple more times till I had to inform him that no one else wanted it. Then I said 'that's your penis, you know'. D said 'my pee-nif?'. I nodded and he said 'I WANNA SEE B***** PENIS!' (B is a girl) and ran off. I barely caught him before he woke up B to look at her 'penis'. We had a discussion about how only boys have penis' and how he needs to leave his sisters private alone.

 

[graceanne]

Ok, so for the last three days I've had this disabled friend of mine spending the night. She's been sick, then her electricity got turned off, and she was too sick to do anything about it. Luckily her neighbor found out what was going on and called me. I went and got her and brought her home with me. Anyway, so after I got her here, I put her in my room and shut the door so she could get some sleep. My son, evidently, sneaked in there.

"L? Are you awake."

L opened her eyes. "What's up, honey?"

"I'm gonna turn on the light, real quick. If their's any monsters in here, it'll scare them away."