Preference for sluts

[Islander55]

At this point in life I'd have no problem having a long term relationship with a formally promiscuous woman who wants to now be monogamous. I was assuming that by slutty it was meant they would continue to be active with multiple partners and that's a no go for me personally. That's where the "traditionally romantic" part comes in.

I'll admit as an average guy who highly values a very loving traditional relationship I could never handle an open marriage. I'm sure the comparisons, jealousy, and perceived divided attention would never work for me. Some would no doubt say that's just the immature male ego coming through. I guess I'll just have to own that.

I think we need to distinguish between a woman who might hit a bar and take on all comers versus a woman who has had experience with number of partners. We need experience to grow into our sexuality and I don't think it would be good to just try and shut that down. I have been married for 38 years and while it took quite a few of those years to fully appreciate each other, I think we have a good relationship. It is based on shared goals and ideals and not based on him owning me sexually or me him. Maybe this is not for you and perhaps a lot of people but it does work for us. If you want a woman to be sexual then you need to let her continue to grow.

 

[Justfantasies]

This may explain why so many men on here are constantly complaining about a lack of sex. They marry the inexperienced woman and then find out that she does not have much interest in sex or she is not able to explore her sexuality and grow into a sexually confident woman.

Exactly. It's obviously really. The hottest women are the ones who have the most experience with sex

 

[Islander55]

Exactly. It's obviously really. The hottest women are the ones who have the most experience with sex

If you are going to be good at something you need experience. I do distinguish between experience and risky behavior. Enjoying a sexual relationship is one thing. Risking your life and health is something different.

 

[Justfantasies]

If you are going to be good at something you need experience. I do distinguish between experience and risky behavior. Enjoying a sexual relationship is one thing. Risking your life and health is something different.

You can have plenty of hot safe sex and it needn't be monogamous

 

[priscillapriscilla]

IMHO a "Slut" is the female equivalent of a Stud. And I'm very much attracted to these women. I love snowballing and so called "sloppy seconds".

Love everything about it except the prospect of catching a disease...

According to my therapist, this might be explained by sperm competition theory.

 

[gregy70]

Some men explicitly prefer sluts. I have heard various reasons but I am curious if any men here feel that way and if so why?

When I say slut I mean someone like me who has sex with multiple partners. That doesn't imply being stupid and careless and spreading my legs for anyone who asks. I am liberated, in control of my own body and conscious of my own safety and well being. I just happen to like having multiple lovers.

I am definitely attracted to / adore this type of woman.
Even when I got married my wife knew I craved a open one end marriage.

Why I’m like this I don’t exactly know why.
Maybe because I also have cuckold & FLR cravings.
I know I’ve long had the view if you love a woman why wouldn’t you want her to live life to the fullest.
It’s down right sexy to me

 

[policywank]

At this point in life I'd have no problem having a long term relationship with a formally promiscuous woman who wants to now be monogamous. I was assuming that by slutty it was meant they would continue to be active with multiple partners and that's a no go for me personally. That's where the "traditionally romantic" part comes in.

I'll admit as an average guy who highly values a very loving traditional relationship I could never handle an open marriage. I'm sure the comparisons, jealousy, and perceived divided attention would never work for me. Some would no doubt say that's just the immature male ego coming through. I guess I'll just have to own that.

We all have our preferences. Wanting monogamy is as valid as any other. I don't think that necessarily means immaturity or a fragile ego.

I would say to any man in a monogamous relationship that accepting your partner's sexuality as it is helps foster a constructive relationship. For instance most women are sexually attracted to men other than their husband in the same way that most men can be sexually attracted to women other than their wife. That doesn't mean the attraction is powerful or that they aren't equally or more attracted to their husbands and it certainly doesn't mean they will act on it.

In a healthy monogamous relationship I think both partners can recognize and accept that reality while fully trusting one one another to maintain their fidelity. If the monogamy commitment becomes the means by which one partner or the other seeks to shelter themselves from an honest view of their partner's sexuality that is less healthy and may well lead to problems.

 

[policywank]

I think we need to distinguish between a woman who might hit a bar and take on all comers versus a woman who has had experience with number of partners. We need experience to grow into our sexuality and I don't think it would be good to just try and shut that down. I have been married for 38 years and while it took quite a few of those years to fully appreciate each other, I think we have a good relationship. It is based on shared goals and ideals and not based on him owning me sexually or me him. Maybe this is not for you and perhaps a lot of people but it does work for us. If you want a woman to be sexual then you need to let her continue to grow.

I think that is a relevant and substantial distinction. I personally am a woman who has had many partners but not one who is inclined to hit a bar and take on all comers. That said, I think either choice is valid.

My reasons for not engaging in random hook-ups are primarily practical. They tend to: a) be more hit and miss in terms of actually finding a guy who is a good lover; b) more dangerous (risk of STDs or violence); c) the measures necessary to mitigate the risk take away from the sexual experience; and d) generally less likely to involve a positive mental/emotional connection (not a necessity but it can enhance the experience).

But I don't buy the argument that society puts forward that casual hook-ups are inherently vacuous, unsatisfying or demeaning. I have had and enjoyed casual hook-ups.

To me it is a little like getting fast food. It is entirely valid to say the food is not as good as what I can make at home or get at a good restaurant. But it isn't valid to suppose that I don't already know that or that I am going there for all the wrong reasons. I know exactly what I am doing and I choose to indulge it as an infrequent guilty pleasure.

If somebody only ever ate fast food or had casual hook-ups I might suggest that they could benefit from broadening their perspective, but who am I to say their enjoyment of it is somehow flawed.

 

[policywank]

If you are going to be good at something you need experience. I do distinguish between experience and risky behavior. Enjoying a sexual relationship is one thing. Risking your life and health is something different.

I think that risking your life and health is something different. However, I think we often jump to conclusions that a given fact pattern necessarily means a woman is engaging in risky behaviour.

Statistically speaking the number of different partners and the degree to which they are otherwise unknown to you does increase risk. But there are also measures one can take to mitigate risk. One can use condoms of course. I have been to sex clubs/groups that require testing, etc. The fact that one makes sexual choices that expose them to greater risk does not say anything about how diligent they are in mitigating those risks.

 

[davenjenn]

Being a slut can be a bit of a giggle if you let it and yu know the right men.

 

[policywank]

It is part of our religious background but not just for America. We just seem to be a bit slower to move on. It seems that most Europeans are much more open about sex and apparently many Aussies and Kiwis as well. It has been a part of western civilization for a long time and a big part was to control women. I guess the Roman "pater familias" would be the ultimate for some men. The concept that the man was the absolute authority in the family and could even kill his wife if he desired. Certainly during the middle ages men desired purity in a wife. They would proceed to knock her up, lock her up and then head out to screw every milk maid and whore that they could find. We have made some progress over the years but still have a long way to go.

When I was growing up I lived in a fairly strident evangelical environment, which I think is especially prevalent in North America. Much as my Catholic friends talked about how strict their church's teachings were, it didn't pervade their life the way it did ours. The Catholic girls I knew were supposed to be good girls but it was widely known that many of them strayed - the girls in my church really were good-two shoes and would readily rat out anybody (me) who wasn't. I wonder if that is a relevant difference.

I also think that there is an extra degree of misogyny that comes with countries that have a strong affinity for a militaristic view of the world the way America does.

Conversely here in Canada their is a strain of progressivism that can actually be quite oppressive. In many ways I as a woman I am expected to live up to an ideal of equality which ironically precludes indulging my own sexual adventurism on the basis that doing so is somehow equated with submitting to a patriarchal view of the world (can't give men what they want even if I want the same thing).

 

[OldFred65]

My wife is a former prostitute. She was used to dressing and acting slutty to attract customers and has never changed her ways. That's what I love about her

 

[Blase]

Conversely here in Canada their is a strain of progressivism that can actually be quite oppressive. In many ways I as a woman I am expected to live up to an ideal of equality which ironically precludes indulging my own sexual adventurism on the basis that doing so is somehow equated with submitting to a patriarchal view of the world (can't give men what they want even if I want the same thing).

Yes, it can be quite disheartening to see the expression of women's sexuality attacked from both ends of the spectrum.

At least here in the Northeastern US, we don't have as much of the religionism that one hears about so often in the South, or the Midwest (though we do certainly have some), but my impression is that, in general, the idea of females being sexually adventurous is frowned upon by many.

My own feeling is that life could be a lot better for everyone if women were allowed to own and realize their full capacity for emotional and sexual connection; definitely including their ability to enjoy multiple partners, should that be what they wanted.

 

[Kirksameritze02]

When l first met my future wife we were in bed within an hour of meeting, one of the conversations we had that night was how a lad had fucked her six times the week before,she was definitely a slut .........but she turned me into a cuck and we both got what we both wanted.

 

[Lifestyle66]

Some men explicitly prefer sluts. ... if so why?

When I say slut I mean someone like me who has sex with multiple partners. ...

Women CAN have sex anytime and as long as they choose to do so (until it becomes painful, and even then stop only if they don't like that).

Men have performance concerns due to obvious physical reactions of losing an erection.

So, IMO, many men enjoy having a partner who can continue the action, when the guy can tag team a replacement so he can enjoy the show. It gives me time to recharge.

 

[Stillrandy]

A total non-sequitur, but I have noticed that:

The word SLUT is an anagram of the word LUST.

Why did I even bother to write that...

 

[TwoHeadsBald]

Some men explicitly prefer sluts. I have heard various reasons but I am curious if any men here feel that way and if so why?

When I say slut I mean someone like me who has sex with multiple partners. That doesn't imply being stupid and careless and spreading my legs for anyone who asks. I am liberated, in control of my own body and conscious of my own safety and well being. I just happen to like having multiple lovers.

I love sluty ladies. I love sexually experienced ladies that are open minded. Intelligent open and honest about their relationships. They are usually more of a joy to be with and in my opinion they have a positive effect in the relationship. If the man open minded and loves for his lady to be pleased and allowed to experience sexual pleasure.

 

[Justfantasies]

Women CAN have sex anytime and as long as they choose to do so (until it becomes painful, and even then stop only if they don't like that).

Men have performance concerns due to obvious physical reactions of losing an erection.

So, IMO, many men enjoy having a partner who can continue the action, when the guy can tag team a replacement so he can enjoy the show. It gives me time to recharge.

I wonder what the world would be like if men could have sex whenever they wanted too. There are ways.

 

[davenjenn]

I wonder what the world would be like if men could have sex whenever they wanted too. There are ways.

Maybe more women would be satisfied with their husbands. But then again maybe not

 

[Islander55]

Maybe more women would be satisfied with their husbands. But then again maybe not

I am guessing a bit but I think that for most couples not having good sex, the issue is more relational than sexual. It is pretty easy to meet someone interesting and have a good romp but it is more complex with someone you live with as there are so many issues that can have a negative impact.

 

[davenjenn]

I am guessing a bit but I think that for most couples not having good sex, the issue is more relational than sexual. It is pretty easy to meet someone interesting and have a good romp but it is more complex with someone you live with as there are so many issues that can have a negative impact.

Well sex gets vanilla -- if men could do it all the time -- they might experiement more with their wives

 

[Geezer72]

Well sex gets vanilla -- if men could do it all the time -- they might experiement more with their wives

Unless they are scared for some reason to request such experimentation?
(With negative longer term consequences obviously)

 

[policywank]

Well sex gets vanilla -- if men could do it all the time -- they might experiement more with their wives

Perhaps. I also think that there could be an important impact on confidence which ripples through a lot of gender dynamics.

Relative to men, women have greater sexual capacity, greater opportunity to indulge our sexual desires and comparable levels of sexual desire. That is very unsettling for some men - they have been told it isn't true and it really affects confidence when they see otherwise.

I think is at least part of the reason for the narratives (all the double standards) that put external constraints on women's sexual activity and/or acknowledgement of sexual desire. Those men really have to believe those things to regain a sense of control. It is pretty tough to truly engage on every sexual level with your partner when you are intimidated by a true representation of her sexual desire or buy into the nonsense that having that desire makes her evil.

 

[policywank]

Unless they are scared for some reason to request such experimentation?
(With negative longer term consequences obviously)

I expect that many men are reluctant to request experimentation from their wives. Women can be plenty judgmental including as it relates to how we think a real man is supposed to be.

Think about something like anal sex. Whether a wife is willing to let her husband fuck her in the ass most who are reasonably sexual engaged and adventurous would not find it particularly shocking that he would want to. But a greater proportion would find it unsettling to hear that he wants to be pegged because they would associate that with homosexual tendencies in the same way some closed-minded guys do.