Pre-op t-girls - how do they feel about bi guys desiring them?

[jdmiller80]

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[Stella_Omega]

Is this one of those fantasies that's best left until you really know a person and can gauge what her reaction will be?

Seems to me you pretty well answered your own questions with that last one, sport. Yes, bears shit in the woods.

But here are my experiences with trans women and transgendered people in general. I know quite a few and have had sex with a very few--three to be exact about it

Some trans women like being the object of your fetish, some hate it so much that they hate you for having it. (So make sure you know the woman before you get creepy on her.)

Some women are so desperately concious of being women in the wrong body, that the fact they have the wrong parts is a serious and deeply unhappy problem for them. The very last thing a woman like that would EVER want is a reminder that she has a penis. (So make sure you find that out before you ask to see her pink bits.) (and most trans women are pre-op because the damn operation costs so much, and we all need to pay rent and buy food first.)

Some women are more comfortable with an inbetween state. And plenty of them have figured out that there is money to be made, a big market for "shemale" prostitutes. A little viagra and that thing pops up no matter how much estrogen hormone they've taken. (But make sure she's willing to take your money before you offer it.)

And not all trans women are bisexual. Some are completely straight-- hetero women, who wouldn't want to share you with the other lady. Some are lesbians who wouldn't want to share her with you. Some trans women are afraid that you'll compare them with the cis woman ("cis" means "Not trans")

I am sorry if all of this seems harsh. And I am sure that the right combination of people would be an incredible experience. But when you are dealing with two women, znd one of them wants to be more woman than anything-- you will have to offer a lot of your self. Your heart, even if it's only for that one night. Respect. Comfort. Pleasure.

 

[jdmiller80]

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[Stella_Omega]

Hey, that's why I asked I'm in that mostly-straight-but-definitely-sexually-attracted-to-men realm that doesn't always get a lot of love from the LGBT world, and I've learned enough over the years to know how easy it is to hurt feelings and make an ass of yourself...if the opportunity ever arises, I'll be sure to keep your wisdom in mind.

May you thus go far and fare well, Grasshopper.

(BTW, the cool new label you can attach to yourself is "heteroflexible." A lot of people see that as less insulting, and even kinda appealing, like maybe they can get you flexing...)

 

[njlauren]

Stella hit the nail on the head, it depends. A lot of t girls, if they are into men sexually, want to be with a man as a woman and don't want to be reminded of their 'different status' (pre op t gals have a variety of feelings about their current genitals, from absolutely hating them to being neutral to okay with it as a pleasure center but they don't see it the way a man would).

There are folks who are happy being non op, who are happy with being a gal with a penis, bit they are relatively rare IME.

Then, of course, there are the sex workers Stella is talking about, whether in porn or as escorts, who pop viagra or go out of their way not to affect male 'performance', so called 'shemales' or whatever, but that is mostly a fantasy image.

I have to tell you from personal experience that it really was a turn off to be treated as a fetish rather then as a person, because of porn a lot of guys assumed t gals were these sex crazed creatures who wanted to fuck and get fucked 24/7, and that is because of the images in magazines and videos. Guys would meet t gals in clubs and such, and would start of talking, not by asking names, how we were doing, if we wanted a drink, but rather 'how big is your dick', or would assume we were just dying to drop to out knees and suck them off.......

There is nothing wrong with having a threesome with a t gal with another woman, any more than there is with having a 'regular' mff threesome, but instead of treating her as a fetish object, try treating her as a woman you find sexy, get to know her, talk to her, etc......rather than as a living embodiment of a fetish. I am not trying to be snarky, simply relaying how crappy it can be to be a t gal, a lot of the guys are freaked out that if they are attracted to you they must be gay *gasp* and the ones who are attracted are more interested in the dongle between the legs then the person between the ears....in other words, they are attracted to you not as a person, but as a mythical "chick with a dick', who you are is meaningless, which sucks....

 

[jdmiller80]

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[Stella_Omega]

Thanks for your insight...I understand it's a very fraught subject. Maybe I should aim my fantasy more towards CDs/ladyboy types, where the gender bending is kind of the point?

I think it's a good idea

People who are playing with bending the gender might also be more playful sexually.

"Ladyboy" is not a common term in western culture, I don't think-- look for "femboy" perhaps.

In fact, take a look at the femboy thread here. It's almost always on the front page!

 

[defaultguy21]

I'm glad i ran into this thread, i've been interested in TG girls for awhile. And you folks have given me alot of insight into things. ill admit i sorta feel ashamed that i had to a point seen TG in a purely sexual way and almost forgot about the person that they are.

would love to meet someone like that in person be an interesting experience for me.

 

[haurni]

Wise words, Stella & njlauren. Thanks.

 

[ToreHund]

I have to tell you from personal experience that it really was a turn off to be treated as a fetish rather then as a person, because of porn a lot of guys assumed t gals were these sex crazed creatures who wanted to fuck and get fucked 24/7, and that is because of the images in magazines and videos. Guys would meet t gals in clubs and such, and would start of talking, not by asking names, how we were doing, if we wanted a drink, but rather 'how big is your dick', or would assume we were just dying to drop to out knees and suck them off.......

There is nothing wrong with having a threesome with a t gal with another woman, any more than there is with having a 'regular' mff threesome, but instead of treating her as a fetish object, try treating her as a woman you find sexy, get to know her, talk to her, etc......rather than as a living embodiment of a fetish. I am not trying to be snarky, simply relaying how crappy it can be to be a t gal, a lot of the guys are freaked out that if they are attracted to you they must be gay *gasp* and the ones who are attracted are more interested in the dongle between the legs then the person between the ears....in other words, they are attracted to you not as a person, but as a mythical "chick with a dick', who you are is meaningless, which sucks....

That was interesting. I certainly understand the thing about being treated as a real person. In anyway, it's not really an issue for me, as I live in Norway which is not a shemale paradise. There was a transsexual woman who kissed me out of the blue (and I liked that) but I think she was post op. In any case, she left right after that. And back in the day when I had a hetero identity a transsexual woman came on to me in a most overwhealming fashion. I thought she was a regular girl, but a friend of mine knew otherwise but didn't say anything. Incidentally, I had a girlfriend, or otherwise I'd probably taken her home.

I guess, for many guys shemales are a dream so when they finally meet a transsexual woman all they can think about is sex. Maybe, if this wasn't such a taboo, then transsexuals could be more open about it and guys would be more casual about it.

But anyway, this is not going to happen to me. I'd probably have to go to Amsterdam or something and I'm not exactly leaving my girlfriend for that.

 

[Simplyafemme]

Stella hit the nail on the head, it depends. A lot of t girls, if they are into men sexually, want to be with a man as a woman and don't want to be reminded of their 'different status' (pre op t gals have a variety of feelings about their current genitals, from absolutely hating them to being neutral to okay with it as a pleasure center but they don't see it the way a man would).

There are folks who are happy being non op, who are happy with being a gal with a penis, bit they are relatively rare IME.

Then, of course, there are the sex workers Stella is talking about, whether in porn or as escorts, who pop viagra or go out of their way not to affect male 'performance', so called 'shemales' or whatever, but that is mostly a fantasy image.

I have to tell you from personal experience that it really was a turn off to be treated as a fetish rather then as a person, because of porn a lot of guys assumed t gals were these sex crazed creatures who wanted to fuck and get fucked 24/7, and that is because of the images in magazines and videos. Guys would meet t gals in clubs and such, and would start of talking, not by asking names, how we were doing, if we wanted a drink, but rather 'how big is your dick', or would assume we were just dying to drop to out knees and suck them off.......

There is nothing wrong with having a threesome with a t gal with another woman, any more than there is with having a 'regular' mff threesome, but instead of treating her as a fetish object, try treating her as a woman you find sexy, get to know her, talk to her, etc......rather than as a living embodiment of a fetish. I am not trying to be snarky, simply relaying how crappy it can be to be a t gal, a lot of the guys are freaked out that if they are attracted to you they must be gay *gasp* and the ones who are attracted are more interested in the dongle between the legs then the person between the ears....in other words, they are attracted to you not as a person, but as a mythical "chick with a dick', who you are is meaningless, which sucks....

yesssssssssssssssss - so well said!

 

[jdmiller80]

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[priapusone]

preopt

Nice, I love this

 

[Arlan]

It's a bit of a tangent, but how do you make the distinction between sexual orientation and fetish anyway? There are plenty of bisexual folks who say they feel romantic as well as sexual either about men or about women, but mostly just sexual about the other. That seems pretty well accepted. A man can come over here and post that he really wants to try being with another man, which he has fantasized about for ages, but he loves his wife and feels conflicted. Nobody says that he might be thinking about the potential "other man" the wrong way. But how is it different if he is fascinated by people who are biologically male but seem mostly female?

I do know what it's like to feel like people are treating me as a fetish object, rather than a person, though, and I can't say that I cared for it much. Back when I made a point of hanging around with a bunch people who were into BDSM, I was open about being sadistic and somewhat dominant. A lot of guys who were looking for that sort of woman pounced like crazed Christmas shoppers on the last Tickle-Me-Elmo. All the attention just made me feel drained. It wasn't even flattering because I could've been an illiterate murderous nazi with a snot obsession for all they knew - they hit on me before taking the time to find out.

But I realize that people often try to pick up other people before getting to know them very well, and people almost always find certain categories of people more appealing than others. I certainly do. So what's the big deal? It didn't bother me when some guy on the bus asked me out because he thought I had a pretty smile, and he had no way of knowing that I wasn't an illiterate murderous nazi with a snot obsession, either. (And chances are if he knew what I was thinking to make me smile like that, he'd have taken a seat on the other side of the aisle.)

 

[TGirlNerd]

Person First, Fetish Second

Hi, just my personal take on this as a non-op trans woman myself.

I would say you should think of it like any other fetish you might have for a woman. Like, imagine that You were really into huge breasts -- I think most women would love being told that the had beautiful breasts from somebody that cared about them, but most women probably wouldn't want to be with a guy who only wanted her FOR her breasts, you know? Obviously, some people are into that -- and trans people are just like everyone else; we have a wide variety of sexual turn-ons so you can't make a blanket statement about what we do or don't like.

Personally I am a romantic and don't really do hook-ups, so take this for what it's worth, but I think if a man said to me "You are beautiful and I would want you no matter what your genitals looked like ... but actually they really turn me on!" that would be awesome, but if a man said to me "You look like you have genitals that I would like, so let's fuck!" I would think he was a creep.

Honestly, I don't think you should handle it that differently for trans women than for any other woman. If you are only into a woman for her private parts, many will take offense to that, a smaller number will be into it.

As for specific sexual acts or whether or not this would be appreciated coming from a man vs a woman, trans people have just as diverse an array of sexual preferences as everyone else.

 

[bcassidy123]

Personally I am a romantic and don't really do hook-ups, so take this for what it's worth, but I think if a man said to me "You are beautiful and I would want you no matter what your genitals looked like ... but actually they really turn me on!" that would be awesome, but if a man said to me "You look like you have genitals that I would like, so let's fuck!" I would think he was a creep.

I love the female form, no matter the genitalia.

 

[TJcurious]

What is between your legs really doesn't identify who you are. I am attracted to how the person carries them self, M, F, or TG. The equipment does provide pleasure, however, the inner person is what provides the emotion that makes the equipment work at its optimum.
But there is a lot to be said to just enjoying pleasure sometimes too.

 

[bluesky496]

I'm a bi guy and I definitely have a "thing" for "chicks with dicks" - probably my hottest unfulfilled (probably never to be fulfilled, since the odds of it happening are so slim...) fantasy at this point would be a threesome with a pre-op t-girl and another woman...kissing the t-girl while fucking the woman...watching the two of them together...huge turn on for me. My question, though, is how m2f transgendered folks feel about this - if you're a woman, are you bothered by guys being turned on by your in-between state? Does it vary from person to person? Is this one of those fantasies that's best left until you really know a person and can gauge what her reaction will be? Anyone have experiences with this?

personally i love it when a man admires me and tries to flirt with me ,it makes me proud and happy to know someone fancies me .

 

[Queen_Vicki]

They should feel great about it. Especially since shemales, and gay men are the only two species on earth that actually know what a bisexual man wants, and can actually sexually satisfy him the way a bisexual man need to be satisfied. A natural born women cannot achieve that goal.So,sweet pea, coming from a person who had pig headed views on shemales in the pass there are plenty of shemales that are more than happy to be with a bi guy.And in truth shemales should be the only option for bisexual men since they are so awesome for you guys.They have boobies,a cock, a cute but to fuck, and best of all they cannot get pregnant.