Ponderings....

[PoliteSuccubus]

If your homosexual....and you wonder about straight sex...does that make you bi-curious?

Do Lesbians have tops/bottems like Gays do?

If two tops fall in love before haveing sex and then find out they are both tops...can they work it out? Or do they break up?

Do most people identify themsevles by their sexuality frist? "I am a gay man" or by other definations? "I am a man, and gay."

Will I be able to find cute shoes in San Fransico in a woman's size 13, men's 11, or will I be forever doomed to wear men's shoes which hardly ever fall into the realm of "cute"?

 

[April]

Do Lesbians have tops/bottems like Gays do?
Why not? All sexual orientations have tops and bottoms, don't they?


If two tops fall in love before haveing sex and then find out they are both tops...can they work it out? Or do they break up?
I'm pretty sure this would have come up in the beginning of the relationship. It's not like saying, "By the way, my hair is brown", ya know? It's a lot more important than that.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

?

Do most people identify themsevles by their sexuality frist? "I am a gay man" or by other definations? "I am a man, and gay."

I think it's only when you fall out of the mainstream in some way that it becomes part of your conscious identity.

For example I do not identify as a white woman, because I am (whatever my thoughts on it) part of the dominant (ie white) power structure.

I do identify as a bisexual pagan woman because bisexuality and my religious practices push me out of the mainstream and force me to become conscious of those differences.

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

Great Answer D.N.!

When I think of myself I tend to just think "I'm just me" and then break it down into parts:

Mother
Christian-Wiccan (talk about being fringe! I meet resistance from both sides)
Artist
Straight
White
Tall
Big footed
Dyslexic
Spinster
Polite

But it all adds up to just being me.

As I've said elsewhere I'm more of a wholestic person, and I accept people for who they are totally, without breaking them down bit by bit. I may disagree with some of their bits, or chose not to associate with them because the sum of the bits I dislike overcome the bits I do....But I don't break it down much.

So I wondered: Most people identify themselves by their dominate trait; so do homosexuals see that as their dominate trait? Most striaight people tend to see something else as their dominate trait, and leave their sexuality under assumption.

"Hi, I'm Chris, I'm an accountant." is as odd to me as "Hi, I"m Chris, I'm gay."

I'm more "Hi, I'm Polite. Welcome."

Prob doesn't make sense to anyone but me, but there you go. Add "Odd" to the list above!

 

[Queersetti]

Great Answer D.N.!

When I think of myself I tend to just think "I'm just me" and then break it down into parts:

Mother
Christian-Wiccan (talk about being fringe! I meet resistance from both sides)
Artist
Straight
White
Tall
Big footed
Dyslexic
Spinster
Polite

But it all adds up to just being me.

As I've said elsewhere I'm more of a wholestic person, and I accept people for who they are totally, without breaking them down bit by bit. I may disagree with some of their bits, or chose not to associate with them because the sum of the bits I dislike overcome the bits I do....But I don't break it down much.

So I wondered: Most people identify themselves by their dominate trait; so do homosexuals see that as their dominate trait? Most striaight people tend to see something else as their dominate trait, and leave their sexuality under assumption.

"Hi, I'm Chris, I'm an accountant." is as odd to me as "Hi, I"m Chris, I'm gay."

I'm more "Hi, I'm Polite. Welcome."

Prob doesn't make sense to anyone but me, but there you go. Add "Odd" to the list above!

This is an example of what we call "straight privilege".
Straight people get to leave their sexuality assumed by society, while we don't.

That is what makes it the trait that stands out about us in almost any social interaction, whether we want it to or not.

Do I wake up every morning and think "Hey, I'm gay!"? No, of course not, no more than a straight person would wake up with defining their sexuality in the forefront of their awareness.

But as soon as I turn on the TV, read the paper or walk out the door, I begin interacting with a society that makes a false assumption about me, and the reality of that one difference takes on importance out of proportion to what it would carry otherwise.

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

and the reality of that one difference takes on importance out of proportion to what it would carry otherwise.

I guess that's what annoys me. It's out of proportion to what SHOULD count!

I read what happened to you in the bashing thread and felt sooo terriable I didn't respond because it was unfair curel to someone who I know is a good person, and was at a loss to what to say.

I guess the reason I'm wondering is this: I cannot be responsable for what people assume, but according to what you wrote you don't want them to be under a false assumption and so lay it out for them, even tho it has negative effects sometimes. So you are, by extention, claiming some responsablity for their assumptions and wishing to alleve them of it?

That's not exactly what I'm trying to say....but while I "feel" what I'm trying to say, I'm having trouble finding words to express myself properly. Arrrgghhh.

I guess it's the debate between people labeling themselves for the benefit of others...or accepting labeling from others to define ourselves....or something along those lines....
*pulls her hair out in fustration*

But the real question behind all this is being ignored!

Where can a big footed woman find shoes!

 

[Queersetti]

Ultimately, it comes down to one simple premise. If heterosexuals don't have to hide, excuse or apologize for their sexuality or make accommodations for the comfort of those who don't share it, then neither should we.

When I signed up with Lit, for a small example, I took a name that made it obvious that I was gay. I didn't do this to make it easy on others to define me, but because it made it possible for me to just be who I am, and present a "take me or leave me" attitude to the board.


And, you should check to see if there is a store near you that caters to cross dressers. They will carry a selection of women's shoes in larger sizes.

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

Sadly there isn't. While there are cross dressers up here there isn't any one place that caters to them.

And I guess I just wish the world was a fair place where such things would either not be nec or at least accepted without having to be thought out and noted.

*dons her rose colored glasses*

So there.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

And, you should check to see if there is a store near you that caters to cross dressers. They will carry a selection of women's shoes in larger sizes.

it's also really easy to get online and find sites that have catalogs for those same places...(i have the opposite problem...very tiny feet..so no pretty stacked heels or platforms in my size)

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I have been reading this thread with interest and i gotta say it...in a *fantasy* world...all people would be equal, love would be a law and not a condition, females would be judged by the same standards as men and everyone would be happy. The truth is...we can only please ourselves. If someone else is pleased in the process that's great but 9 times outta 10..the only people who get our POV are those who are going through what we deal with. Being bi-racial, bi-sexual and a single mommy i deal with prejudice in so many ways ...daily. Yet, it does not stop me from striving to better the world in which i live nor does it stop me from being content with my life. No matter what. IMHO...everyone should be allowed to not worry about their sexuality..yet, it seems the world places an emphasis on it that those of us who are not in the norm, have no chance to disregard.
(END RANT)
so...the point was i get both 'Setti and Polite's world veiws...but i wish it were another way...
PET

 

[Queersetti]

I have been reading this thread with interest and i gotta say it...in a *fantasy* world...all people would be equal, love would be a law and not a condition, females would be judged by the same standards as men and everyone would be happy. The truth is...we can only please ourselves. If someone else is pleased in the process that's great but 9 times outta 10..the only people who get our POV are those who are going through what we deal with. Being bi-racial, bi-sexual and a single mommy i deal with prejudice in so many ways ...daily. Yet, it does not stop me from striving to better the world in which i live nor does it stop me from being content with my life. No matter what. IMHO...everyone should be allowed to not worry about their sexuality..yet, it seems the world places an emphasis on it that those of us who are not in the norm, have no chance to disregard.
(END RANT)
so...the point was i get both 'Setti and Polite's world veiws...but i wish it were another way...
PET

Very well said!

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Very well said!

ahhh Thank You!!!!

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

*claps*

Why do you think I work in day care and with youth groups?

The world can change, but you have to a stone and allow the ripples flow outward into the world.

By oneself, there will never be enough ripples. But many stones together?

Women's vote
Slavery ended
Civil Rights ensued
Child labor laws passed
Wildlife perserves were founded.

Postscript from PS: Pet, I didn't know you were a single mommy! Me too!

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

*claps*

Why do you think I work in day care and with youth groups?

The world can change, but you have to a stone and allow the ripples flow outward into the world.

By oneself, there will never be enough ripples. But many stones together?

Women's vote
Slavery ended
Civil Rights ensued
Child labor laws passed
Wildlife perserves were founded.

Postscript from PS: Pet, I didn't know you were a single mommy! Me too!

why polite one? Well because my sweet aunty..You are one of the truly rare people that believe in giving back to those less fortunate than YOU!! I think You are probably one of the most beautiful people on LIT...your honesty and class becomes you and sets a great example for what we should all strive to be. As i stated elsewhere...if more people were like You and 'Setti, the world would be a nicer place...(check out the lavender spotlight for more info!!!)
Kisses
PET

 

[Queersetti]

Like the song says, ~~P.S. I love you.~~

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Like the song says, ~~P.S. I love you.~~

exactly!!!!!!!!
PET

 

[ammre]

while preduijice sucks ass and so does my spelling. At least you're not normal.
i just wrote 3 paragraphs bitching about being normal... i erased them becasue i know if i did i'd get passed off as some whiney little middle class brat.

I have discrepencies with ignorance which comes from groups that are discriminated against, using the argument of discrimination.

Ex: ebonics. If i were a store manager and a black boy walks into my store and speaks proper english and shows the proper qualifications i will hire him. If a black boy haivng hte same qulaifications walks into my store and speaks ebonics to me I would not hire him. If a white boy having the same qulifications walks in speaking ebonics, just the saem i would not hire him. Yet i know several black people who would probably call this racial discrimination.

There's also reverse discrimination. What if there was a straight-pride parade? or a W.E.T? (B.E.T stands for Black Entertainment Television) People would be wailing about discrimination everywhere.

For those of you that face discrimination, Stand proud and tall for who you are and what you've overcome. Just remember that not everyone form the other side is against you. I'm sorry i'm no exotic race. I'm sorry i'm not a full lesbian. I am a woman but i have yet to hit any glass ceilings of misconceptions i couldn't break. I'm sorry i'm not a mamber of any exotic or small religion. As i said, it dosen't mean i'm against you. That's jsut how i wasborn and raised. Some call it getting luckey, i call it getting boring.

In the usa, if you really think about it, the irish are the original wetbacks. (I <3 carlos mencia)

peace love and harmony... what what.

 

[ammre]

Oh and bac on topic... i have big feet... not only are they long btu their fat....

i shop at easy spirit and aldo. I use the men's section at aldo. If you get the right kind of shoes and the right color the shoes will be cute in that clunky kind of way... i have a suede tan pair that look jsut adorable under pants... and even with a jean skirt and crop socks.

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

'Setti, I adore you too.

Pet, thank you, your friendship is always a gift to me.

Ammre, I live in Anchorage, the best I can do is an overpriced Nordstoms.

I don't know. Compliments make me feel werid. Like I'm digging for them or something. I don't see anything I do as unusal until someone points it out to me; it just seems like common sense.

There are a lot of different people in the world, so accept them.

Gee, doesn't seem that hard on the surface. But then people start compareing them to themselves and count the difference instead of the common factors.....And then labeling what's different as bad.

The Qur'an has this one line about the varity of color in the world and how boreing it would be if that weren't so. "And who can color more beatifully than God?" it asks. I look at all the different colors of people as a testiment of creativity. If we look at personality and sexuality in the same context....isn't that also a testiment to creativity of spirit?