Polyamory

[the captians wench]

I always was a mono girl. [snip]

And I'm back to being a mono girl. I'm really happy with it too.


Still, I wouldn't trade my poly relationships for the world. They were nice while they lasted.

 

[nh23]

And I'm back to being a mono girl. I'm really happy with it too.


Still, I wouldn't trade my poly relationships for the world. They were nice while they lasted.

Me too as of right now. Master and I decided together that for now being mono is for the best since we've only been together for about 7 months or so. We'll see what comes later. And I agree being in a poly relationship was an amazing experience that opened my eyes to a lot of things.

 

[Bandit58]

Well as for us, we are no longer seeing the woman we had at the beginning of the year. I am still seeing my lady "friend with benefits", although a bit less frequently than we would like due to her now having to work more

To be honest, it looks like Sir and I will be more monogamous than not for now. We aren't placing that priority on finding another that we were before - our attitude now is one of if it happens it happens, if it doesn't well no worries

 

[the captians wench]

Me too as of right now. Master and I decided together that for now being mono is for the best since we've only been together for about 7 months or so. We'll see what comes later. And I agree being in a poly relationship was an amazing experience that opened my eyes to a lot of things.

The funny part about it, as my mom and I pondered over, is what I got most out of it is that I'm just not a poly girl.

I've said before that I'm (was) a mono girl stuck in a poly world. I can do poly, and be content with it, but if I'm truely honest with myself I'm not happy in that type of atmosphere.

I do miss the sex *giggles* but we're working on fixing that for both of us.

 

[Netzach]

And we're even more poly. M has a boyfriend, a very nice older gent. It's very vanilla. The only tension so far is M starting a hunt for a better job and trying to explain that he wants to focus on that for a while and it's not about his BF and he wants to see more of his BF *after* he's really worked on that for a couple of weeks.

If slightly needy is the worst of it, that's pretty cool. I like BF, he's a dear, older gay man.

I'm in favor. I love being alone on saturday night, actually. It rules!

 

[BiBunny]

Just because I'm nosy: For those of you with multiple partners, how many of them have multiple partners that you may or may not be involved with?

 

[Netzach]

Just because I'm nosy: For those of you with multiple partners, how many of them have multiple partners that you may or may not be involved with?

reprazent.

 

[Netzach]

I could start a "I feel like I should feel more jealous so I feel guilty" discussion. LOL.

 

[the captians wench]

Just because I'm nosy: For those of you with multiple partners, how many of them have multiple partners that you may or may not be involved with?

Well, let's see.

back when....My primary stateside was married, and his wife played with others. And Jounar has picked up a girl or two while we've been together, but never anything serious and never anything very long lasting. He has no tollerance for drama. How he puts up with me and mine I have no clue.

I was surprized that I wasn't more jelous, almost to the point of guilt, like Netz said. But as long as I was getting my time in, then I was fine. But I am a very needy little thing, and it's hard to keep me happy attention wize.

 

[BiBunny]

I could start a "I feel like I should feel more jealous so I feel guilty" discussion. LOL.

Sometimes I piss off people I'm involved with because they think I should be MORE jealous, and the lack of jealousy is supposed to be some kind of indicator that I don't care about them. To me, the opposite is true. If I love you, I want you to be happy, no matter how many people you have to fuck to be happy. *Shrug*

Oh, BTW, all my peoples are fucking other peoples, too.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Just because I'm nosy: For those of you with multiple partners, how many of them have multiple partners that you may or may not be involved with?

My husband has no desire to ever be with anyone other than me. If he changes his mind in the future I would like to think I would be ok with it.

My PYL's wife as far as I (and my PYL) knows is not involved with anyone else.

Other than rarely having sex with others while we are together neither one of us fucks anyone else but our spouses at this time. This is more due to time constraints and busy lives than any other reason.

If my PYL wanted to fuck others I would be fine with that. I would however have a more difficult time with him taking on another submissive. We have so little time together as is, when he has free time I want him to want to spend it with me.

 

[SubKekiLee]

My husband has no desire to ever be with anyone other than me. If he changes his mind in the future I would like to think I would be ok with it.

My PYL's wife as far as I (and my PYL) knows is not involved with anyone else.

Other than rarely having sex with others while we are together neither one of us fucks anyone else but our spouses at this time. This is more due to time constraints and busy lives than any other reason.

If my PYL wanted to fuck others I would be fine with that. I would however have a more difficult time with him taking on another submissive. We have so little time together as is, when he has free time I want him to want to spend it with me.

I agree with ES I am fine if my PYL wants to fuck someone else.. What I cant stand is another submissive either... I know the difference between sex an love.. We have an open relationhip but.... I do not see anyone else. and he is married to his wife, she isnt his sub I am the only submissive and I would like that to stay that way...

I am free to fuck others.. but I choose not to cause it isnt really me

 

[Bandit58]

Just because I'm nosy: For those of you with multiple partners, how many of them have multiple partners that you may or may not be involved with?

My lady friend is married and she and her hubby play with other couples. We don't do the couple thing as we're only interested in playing with women The woman we played with together for a short time was also playing with others, both men and women.

 

[the_mgp]

Just because I'm nosy: For those of you with multiple partners, how many of them have multiple partners that you may or may not be involved with?

There is three of us in the relationship, and we don't have other partners outside of that. I'm pretty happy the way things are working out, cause stuff is going really well.

 

[intothewoods]

General question: how do you define polyamory? I mean, what is at its root - loving other people, fucking other people, all of the above?

I find it interesting that monogamous in the bdsm scene (at least, the scene I'm familiar with!) means you don't fuck other people, but s&m play is typically pretty acceptable. And that sometimes means some sexual contact, or at least kissing, and sometimes none at all. But anyway, in the vanilla world, most people who are monogamous don't make out with their friends. Or maybe they do and I have the wrong friends, lol.

 

[ecstaticsub]

General question: how do you define polyamory? I mean, what is at its root - loving other people, fucking other people, all of the above?

I find it interesting that monogamous in the bdsm scene (at least, the scene I'm familiar with!) means you don't fuck other people, but s&m play is typically pretty acceptable. And that sometimes means some sexual contact, or at least kissing, and sometimes none at all. But anyway, in the vanilla world, most people who are monogamous don't make out with their friends. Or maybe they do and I have the wrong friends, lol.

I define polyamory as being in love, not just loving, but in love with more than one person. And those people being in love with you, too. Along with the love there has to be a relationship also. But I don't think a person has to live with the people they are in love with.

...yeah, I admit I molded my definition to fit my own situation

 

[the captians wench]

I define polyamory as being in love, not just loving, but in love with more than one person. And those people being in love with you, too. Along with the love there has to be a relationship also. But I don't think a person has to live with the people they are in love with.

...yeah, I admit I molded my definition to fit my own situation

This is pretty much how I've always defined it too. being inlove and having a romantic relationship with more than one person.

This is also where I hit my hang up. I know I have the capibility of loving and being in love with more than one person. I also have the ablity to have sex with no emotional attachment. But I know Jounar can't work out how to love more than one person, so I was always nervous when he would find a fuck buddy. The girls he hooked up with made him take them out first *giggles* (mom always told me I give it up too easily, my fuck buddies never took me to a movie)

But mono for us means no outside anything. Sex, s&m, making out, nothing.

 

[Netzach]

General question: how do you define polyamory? I mean, what is at its root - loving other people, fucking other people, all of the above?

I find it interesting that monogamous in the bdsm scene (at least, the scene I'm familiar with!) means you don't fuck other people, but s&m play is typically pretty acceptable. And that sometimes means some sexual contact, or at least kissing, and sometimes none at all. But anyway, in the vanilla world, most people who are monogamous don't make out with their friends. Or maybe they do and I have the wrong friends, lol.

I define it as "would you let this person leave a toothbrush at your place?"

 

[Netzach]

We have so little time together as is, when he has free time I want him to want to spend it with me.

This is why I'm not jealous with M or H, but with T, yes.

There's very limited time. There's a fairly normal boy/girl fucking feel to what we do. If he went of to replicate it with someone else sharing my plumbing and features frequently, there'd be a serious wedge.

 

[Homburg]

Time and emotional energy becomes the major concern for us. First, our triad is very new. Adding in other people would needlessly complicate things at this stage. I have no time to take on additional partners, so more for me is not going to happen. MIS and viv are likewise too busy currently for outside interests beyond the triad.

 

[lynnh]

?

How is this different from polygamy?

 

[Homburg]

How is this different from polygamy?

At its' most basic, polyamory means loving more than one person, while polygamy means marrying more than one person.

 

[JMohegan]

General question: how do you define polyamory? I mean, what is at its root - loving other people, fucking other people, all of the above?

I find it interesting that monogamous in the bdsm scene (at least, the scene I'm familiar with!) means you don't fuck other people, but s&m play is typically pretty acceptable. And that sometimes means some sexual contact, or at least kissing, and sometimes none at all. But anyway, in the vanilla world, most people who are monogamous don't make out with their friends. Or maybe they do and I have the wrong friends, lol.

Most people I know define polyamory as commitment to more than one aboveboard intimate relationship at the same time.

Monogamy usually means that whatever you consider to be intimacy is reserved for the one person with whom you have entered into a committed relationship. Perceptions of what constitutes intimacy vary widely. Mine includes all sexual and s&m activity of any kind, except that which I would consider to be dispassionate instruction.

In between (sort of) is an open relationship, in which intimacy is not reserved solely for one's committed partner(s).

 

[intothewoods]

Hmm, yeah, I suppose at the heart of it is what do you consider intimate behavior. I don't feel like kissing or s&m has to be intimate. Mister Man is sort of on the fence. We're both still leaning towards no outside anything down the road, but nothing is set in stone at all. It's a lot of negotiation.

Anyway, sorry, that's not about poly. I just find it funny that many people wouldn't consider me monogamous, even though that's what I consider myself.

 

[Homburg]

Hmm, yeah, I suppose at the heart of it is what do you consider intimate behavior. I don't feel like kissing or s&m has to be intimate. Mister Man is sort of on the fence. We're both still leaning towards no outside anything down the road, but nothing is set in stone at all. It's a lot of negotiation.

Anyway, sorry, that's not about poly. I just find it funny that many people wouldn't consider me monogamous, even though that's what I consider myself.

Eh, I would. You aren't fucking anyone else, and have no romantic entanglements. Then again, I don't consider tying someone up and beating them while 15 people watch (or being tied and beaten) to be all that intimate. It can be, sure, but it is not inherently an intimate act. Often times, it is as much putting on a show as getting up and doing a scene from MacBeth.

Then again, I'm not monogamous, so I may not be the best source to get an opinion from