Polyamory

[nh23]

I am, but sadist brat bottoms don't seem to get much play.

*giggles* Well..I'll spank you if you spank me.

 

[EmpressFi]

*giggles* Well..I'll spank you if you spank me.

LOL just reminded me that at the Fetish Flea.. I was walking around caning/spanking people.. I swear it brought out my inner sadist

 

[BiBunny]

Here's a question for those who are wired for polyamory. Do you NEED to have more than one person in your life, if no opportunity presents itself will you consider to seek it out until it does? That is, when you only have one partner, do you need to actively search for another? Or can you be happy with one person until another relationship presents itself?

Yes, I do think I need more than one person, and I'll tell you why. It's because I'm bi. Yeah, yeah, I know, that's so stereotypical, but it's true. There's no way in the world one person can satisfy my desire to be with both men and women.

Kitty and I have been together for five years, and I've gone through *ahem* several men in that amount of time. When I'm between men, I feel unfulfilled. If I had a boyfriend and no Kitty, I'd feel the same way. I also find that I get antsy if either my Top side or my bottom side has no one to play with.

*Sigh* I know I wrote something about my poly dreamhouse earlier in this thread. I really, really wish it could come true.

 

[Bandit58]

Yes, I do think I need more than one person, and I'll tell you why. It's because I'm bi. Yeah, yeah, I know, that's so stereotypical, but it's true. There's no way in the world one person can satisfy my desire to be with both men and women.

Kitty and I have been together for five years, and I've gone through *ahem* several men in that amount of time. When I'm between men, I feel unfulfilled. If I had a boyfriend and no Kitty, I'd feel the same way. I also find that I get antsy if either my Top side or my bottom side has no one to play with.

*Sigh* I know I wrote something about my poly dreamhouse earlier in this thread. I really, really wish it could come true.

As a bi woman also, and coming out and having FF experiences much later in life than Bunny, I've found the same applies Luckily Sir is more than understanding and has been supportive in helping me find a lovely friend to play with a couple of times a month (during school term time when her kids are at school)

We have also recently brought a third woman in to play with both of us. I've found the best part of this is when He and I are working on her together....I've discovered a wee bit of a toppy side

 

[HottieMama]

Yes, I do think I need more than one person, and I'll tell you why. It's because I'm bi. Yeah, yeah, I know, that's so stereotypical, but it's true. There's no way in the world one person can satisfy my desire to be with both men and women.

i wasn't going to log in and post anything tonight, but this statement is SO friggin' true for me.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

You have taken my words out of context, I was speaking about a purely "online" relationship with someone that was having physical sex with her primary mate, and her "online" person wanted more.
I don't mind being quoted, as long as it is used properly.
When I was speaking of "how can you blame him" I was speaking about his physical needs.
It has nothing to do with Polyamory, or real time situations.
If you have issues with your PYL, perhaps instead of fooling yourself by saying you don't want to know, open a line of communication with him, find out what it is that he needs from these other women, I'll bet it is something you can provide even better.
It really is all about the communication.

It seems we have misunderstood each other bigtime then cuz I didnt talk about my online PYL at all, me and my Dom are okay. I spoke about my ex husband with who I lived/live irl, so I think it have a lot to do with polyamory if he wanna live with me, but still crave sex with other women.

At least thats what I thought polyamory is all about? to have sex with someone else than your parner. Or I don't get it or I've explain myself crap, again, if so I am sorry. :/

When I was speaking of "how can you blame him" I was speaking about his physical needs.It has nothing to do with Polyamory, or real time situations.
If you have issues with your PYL, perhaps instead of fooling yourself by saying you don't want to know, open a line of communication with him, find out what it is that he needs from these other women, I'll bet it is something you can provide even better.
It really is all about the communication.

I was speaking about physical needs as well. I know what my man wants from the "other" women. He mind looks a lot, he loves them thin and sexy. I don't blame him for that, I like thin girls as well, I won't ever look like that tho. I might get thiner, but let's be realistic I won't ever become a 40 kilos girl he like that much for sex. I look more like EmpressFi, BiBunny or Kitty while he loves girls like your Sinn for example.

Still think men should or be okay with what he have at home or just find himself someone who will mesh with him better. I do not force him to stay with me. He can have his 40 kilos girl if he wants too, he keeps coming back to me tho so I think he should finaly or deal with the fact how I look like and love me the way I am or he really needs to find himself another woman, the 40 kilos one that will satisfy his physical needs.

This is hard to explain cuz for me looks never meant that much. I do not judge people acording how they look like. Whats inside of someone is what matters to me, but hey me and my man are very different in this. The reason why I don't wanna know about his other women is cuz I won't let him make me feel shit. He can have what he needs if he want to, but I prefer not to know about it yes. If I wanted be a cunt I could as well tell him he never made me cum and that I am gonna get mine with someone else as well and it would be even fair. Thing is I miss the point of such relationship then. If we both fucked someone else wheres the love and whats the sense of such relationship??? Think thats why I don't understand this poly thing lol, dunno.

Feel free to explain it to me cuz I obviously don't get it.

 

[EmpressFi]

in one sense..yes.. Poly is about being able to have sex with someone else. However, it's more, it's to allow yourself to LOVE someone else, have a relationship with someone else, to allow that person to have just as an important roll in your life as your primary.

Allowing him to have his 40 kilo girls because he says that's what he needs and you love him and would rather have him this way than no way at al, but you dont want to know when he's sleeping around isnt really poly, it's more of an open relationship that you're using to keep him instead of lose him.

I dont let Malin have his OSO's to keep him happy so he wont cheat on me. And I would like to think he doesnt let me have Master so I wont cheat on him either.

 

[INSIDEYOURMIND]

At least thats what I thought polyamory is all about? to have sex with someone else than your parner. Or I don't get it or I've explain myself crap, again, if so I am sorry. :/

Polyamory
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Polyamory (from Greek πολυ (poly, meaning many or several) and Latin amor (literally “love”) (and from polygamy) is the desire, practice, or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time, generally with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Polyamorous perspectives differ from monogamous perspectives, in that they reflect one or more partner's wish(es) to have further meaningful relationships and to accommodate these alongside their existing relationships.

In my understanding a poly relationship centers again around open communications between all involved, and typically is something entered into by all. While you have given permission to your ex-husband, you have precluded yourself, and the other women from any relationship with you.

I am not sure what you expect from an ex-husband, but in your description, is not in any way a poly situation.

Not to beat a dead horse, but my original quote was in reference to someone that was having an online relationship with someone, as well as having sex with her husband. She was not happy that the online person wanted more, in a physical way.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I don't need a poly relationship. I have the ability to love more than one person at a time but I have never seeked one.

To be totally honest...I simply love sex with men, and having relationships with men long or short term that include sex. Before my Dom there was only one other relationship (lasted 3 years) where I truly was in love and it was not just Friends with Benefits type of relationship that my spouse approved of.

I don't need love from anyone else, I get plenty from my spouse. But I crave the adventure of being with someone new and really getting to know someone in an imtimate way.

My present situation, my first D/s relationship, is different. In no way did I plan on falling in love. I approached this relationship as just play at first. (before we were D/s) But as love often will do, it took me by surprise. As long as my husband is ok with me loving two men, and my Dom stays ok with me loving my husband then it's all good!

 

[h_i_s]

.....

 

[the captians wench]

I always was a mono girl. I wanted one man, and I wanted his complete attention. When I fell inlove with Jounar, and realized that being together was going to be nearly impossible on a long term basis, I had to consider what he had been telling me and seek some playmates here. The one relationship lasted 6 months, and it was about that time that I started to really fall inlove with him. When I realized I was, he disapeared.

The next guy to come along had a girl at home, and a kid. She wanted to pretend that I did not exist. I cleaned their house and painted and did laundry, a few times while he talked to her, but she didn't want to acknowledge my pressence. That left me feeling empty, knowing that I could never be apart of that part of his life. (there were other complications there....many many, he just over all was an ass, but this was one of the early ones)

The next one, just sort of happened. I was just looking at this as a play only thing, sure we could be friends but that was about it. Well, something clicked, and I fell inlove. His other half is some one very dear to me too. But it's not posible for him to devote the time I would like to me, so I've been dating again.

So now I have started to wonder, if some one came along could I give up these other people in my life? Part of me wants the big house in the middle of no where with one man loving only me. The other part would love The big house out in the middle of no where, where I have my own wing attached to his and his mrs main home, and a wing for the dogs, and Jounar poping in when availible.

I don't want to give up these people in my life, but I just don't see me as an open marriage girl.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

in one sense..yes.. Poly is about being able to have sex with someone else. However, it's more, it's to allow yourself to LOVE someone else, have a relationship with someone else, to allow that person to have just as an important roll in your life as your primary.

Allowing him to have his 40 kilo girls because he says that's what he needs and you love him and would rather have him this way than no way at al, but you dont want to know when he's sleeping around isnt really poly, it's more of an open relationship that you're using to keep him instead of lose him.

I dont let Malin have his OSO's to keep him happy so he wont cheat on me. And I would like to think he doesnt let me have Master so I wont cheat on him either.

Thank you for the explanation EmpressFi!

If poly relationships are about

allow yourself to LOVE someone else, have a relationship with someone else, to allow that person to have just as an important roll in your life as your primary

as you say, then what I do is really more of an open relationship yes. I understand he crave things I cannot provide him, I might agree with him getting physical pleasure with someone else, but as for love I am not sharing at all.

I mean, if you are with someone who want/crave sex with someone else and who even love someone else - whats the point of such relationship??? Please don't get me wrong I do not judge you at all right now, but I don't get it. I don't understand how can someone love two people the very same way? Like and love yes, but love and love again no. Not me, not possible. It's prolly cuz I like to think I am really special to someone. Knowing he loves me the same way as some other women he keep meet and have sex would piss me off bigtime. I want/need someone just for myself, guess I am not poly at all.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Thank you for the explanation EmpressFi!

If poly relationships are about as you say, then what I do is really more of an open relationship yes. I understand he crave things I cannot provide him, I might agree with him getting physical pleasure with someone else, but as for love I am not sharing at all.

I mean, if you are with someone who want/crave sex with someone else and who even love someone else - whats the point of such relationship??? Please don't get me wrong I do not judge you at all right now, but I don't get it. I don't understand how can someone love two people the very same way? Like and love yes, but love and love again no. Not me, not possible. It's prolly cuz I like to think I am really special to someone. Knowing he loves me the same way as some other women he keep meet and have sex would piss me off bigtime. I want/need someone just for myself, guess I am not poly at all.

At least for me I don't love both my husband and my Dom in the same way. Though I am in love with both of them. My husband and my Dom are so different in many ways. I also know that my Dom loves his wife and loves me. But the love is different. Both his wife and I are special to him for different reasons. I know there is a part of him that is hers only. I respect that, and I respect him for loving and cherishing her the way he does.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

In my understanding a poly relationship centers again around open communications between all involved, and typically is something entered into by all. While you have given permission to your ex-husband, you have precluded yourself, and the other women from any relationship with you.

I am not sure what you expect from an ex-husband, but in your description, is not in any way a poly situation.

Not to beat a dead horse, but my original quote was in reference to someone that was having an online relationship with someone, as well as having sex with her husband. She was not happy that the online person wanted more, in a physical way.

You are right, I have precluded myself and the other women to have any relationship with me. Why? I simply don't have a need to have any relationship with her. I am okay with having one man irl. Even if I don't get mine I am still okay with it and wouldn't go fuck someone else, it's just not my thing. See her and my man have sex wouldn't do any good, to none of us.

Not to beat a dead horse, but my original quote was in reference to someone that was having an online relationship with someone, as well as having sex with her husband. She was not happy that the online person wanted more, in a physical way.

As for you saying I have take your words from the context, heres the original post http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=25788582&postcount=98

I know very well to who you said what you said cuz it was my post you quoted. I think you should reread it again cuz it wasn't about

"She was not happy that the online person wanted more, in a physical way."

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

It is posible to make comparisons, and get your point across without dragging names into the example. WTF? Please leave me out of your "not a skinny girl vs is skinny girl" comparisons. Whether you can understand it or not, it's unsulting and ignorant.

~le sigh~

I don't see what was insulting or ignorant about it? nvm

I am sorry if I have offend you Bunny, Kitty and EmpressFi.... that wasn't my point. I hate to use the term BBW, so I used names of girls who looks alike. I am truly sorry.


As for you Sin, I am sorry princess..... *geez*

 

[HottieMama]

i really agree with EmpressFi here. Poly for me isn't about sex. It's about loving and being able to love more than one person at once. Yes, sex is a normal expression of that love, but it is not always necessary. When it's just sex, i'm more inclined to call in "swinging" or an "open relationship."

Kate...while i don't think you meant anything about the weight comparisons, i think you need to be aware that some of us are very sensitive to that issue.

 

[h_i_s]

.....

 

[nh23]

I am fat. I have hips, tits, a tummy. I have curves. Know why it doesn't bother me when someone calls me fat? Because I don't give a flying fuck what other people think. I love my curves. Love who you are, and it won't be so offensive when others comment about it. That is all.. Now back to polyamory?

 

[BiBunny]

I am fat. I have hips, tits, a tummy. I have curves. Know why it doesn't bother me when someone calls me fat? Because I don't give a flying fuck what other people think. I love my curves. Love who you are, and it won't be so offensive when others comment about it. That is all.. Now back to polyamory?

You know, they say fat women are really good in bed. And they say crazy women are really good in bed. I must be fucking phenomenal because I've got it covered on both counts.

As for poly, I'm gonna say something mean. Why is it that almost every couple looking for that hot bi femsub is absolutely batshit crazy? *Notice I said almost, people* At one time, I'd have loved to be part of a triad, but now, after seeing how most of them are...there's no way in hell I'd touch that. No way in hell!

 

[Momma of Fire]

Wow, I have not been on these boards in a long time and decided to stop by today.

I am Bi and my husband is straight. I really do miss being with a women and my husband and I have talked about that in depth. We agreed that we are Poly but not to the extent some people take it. We are looking for a triad, basically I believe that I have more than enough love for just my husband and he believes the same on his part.

We have been actively seeking a 3rd for about 2 years now but have found no one that really wants to be in a "relationship" with us. We find more women just wanting the attention of two people at once and don't want the emotional attachment we are seeking.

We also have children and that is another hurdle we have yet to face. They are young and I believe that if they see a healthy happy relationship between my husband and I plus anyone else we may get involved with that they will be fine.

Thank you for posting this on the board, I read through a lot and think I am more Poly now than when I started.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Kate...while i don't think you meant anything about the weight comparisons, i think you need to be aware that some of us are very sensitive to that issue.

Thank you for the trust that I didnt say what I said with purpose to offend someone here. I am very sensitive to this issue as well, well thats why I haven't use the word BBW or fat. I just said I am alike some girls on this boards. Compare you know who to sexy thin girls my man likes was meant as compliment, not as something that should make her mad. :/

If I said I am fat as X, Y, Z I would understand if they get mad about it, but when I say my man like thin girls like "you know who" and she gets mad about it I don't really get it yes. Say about someone that she's fat is insulting and I would never say that. I didn't know that say about someone she's nice, thin and sexy can be understood as insulting and ignorant too, oh well.

I'll be aware not to do that next time HM, thank you.

 

[Netzach]

You know, they say fat women are really good in bed. And they say crazy women are really good in bed. I must be fucking phenomenal because I've got it covered on both counts.

As for poly, I'm gonna say something mean. Why is it that almost every couple looking for that hot bi femsub is absolutely batshit crazy? *Notice I said almost, people* At one time, I'd have loved to be part of a triad, but now, after seeing how most of them are...there's no way in hell I'd touch that. No way in hell!

We are batshit crazy, I cop to it. *sigh*

 

[Netzach]

It's so hard to find a romantic poly friendly valentine. *sigh*

I keep finding ones that say "I'll forever be only yours" and "I'll only ever love you" and "you're my one true love". *sigh* they look so nice, and I fall inlove with the card, and then I see one of these lines and I go "*sigh* next" What a disapointment.

I found one the other day that said "I love our adventures." I'm getting that one for at least one of 'em.

 

[BiBunny]

We are batshit crazy, I cop to it. *sigh*

'Tis a little different in your case, I'd say. It's the MDom/femsub couples I'm talking about. The things they want...good God. (There should really be a "crazy" emoticon on this site).

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

That was the most fucked up empty apology ever
Why say sorry??.. when it's obvious A. You don't mean it & B. You haven't enough of a clue to even begin to understand WHO would be offended and/or why ....... renders the apology as 'null'.

And the name is h i s , and certainly it is not 'princess' so hold back on the condescending shit too please. And stick that rollseyes smiley up your ass sideways right along with the sarchastic 'geez' shit too.

Just because skinny to some, is more attractive than a fulller figure ...... doesn't make it so for all........ and doesn't make it ok for you to point out while including actual people as your example. Especially when you drag a thrid party into a conversation who isn't participating and doesn't care (to say the least) to be placed in the same basket as an example along with all of your ex's skinny girlfriends he has on the side.

FAT OR SKINNY.... it's WRONG.

Initially, upon reading your posts I at first thought your problem was with the language barriors. I understand better now of it being an issue to involve a whole lot more than that. So yeah, never mind. I doubt that you'll ever get it, BiaTcHiNFiRe .... even if I could spell it out in your preferred or original native language, I'm fairly certain, and well convinced at this point that you won't and are not capable of 'getting it'.

You need to work on putting more thought into motion, and perhaps placing yourself in another's shoes before opening your mouth to speak .. or placing your fingers upon the keyboard.

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=25999521&postcount=2022

I am fat. I have hips, tits, a tummy. I have curves. Know why it doesn't bother me when someone calls me fat? Because I don't give a flying fuck what other people think. I love my curves. Love who you are, and it won't be so offensive when others comment about it. That is all

I dig that.

Now back to polyamory?

Yup.

Sorry for the hijack nh23. I am all quiet now.