Polyamory and ethical non-monogamy

[InfiniteGiraffe]

My wife is polyamorous. We're a hotwife couple. Our marriage evolved to where we decided we both want her having sex with other men. She has two lovers now. A male co worker of hers . And another man in another city. I'm hoping she expands her "horizontal horizons" soon.

My wife and I started off with the slutwife dynamic. I enjoyed her going out and hooking up and telling me all about it. Before too long, she wanted me to date too and it went from simply a kink thing to full blown polyamory.

 

[KimGordon67]

*applauding grown ass women*

When my wife started dating there were a lot of guys who would ask me to put them in contact with my wife, and they had a hard time understanding that she picks her own men and make her own dates. And that I’m not “letting” her do anything. It’s 100% her choice. For me, it’s all about respecting others own agency, and because women historically and presently haven’t had their autonomy respected, its super important to make clear that women should have to ask anyone’s permission to date, fuck, fall in love or whatever.

Precisely. And I'm sure that whatever she does, she does in a way that's respectful of your feelings, because she care about you. Not because you've 'let' her do whatever it is.

 

[InfiniteGiraffe]

Precisely. And I'm sure that whatever she does, she does in a way that's respectful of your feelings, because she care about you. Not because you've 'let' her do whatever it is.

There seems to be a rash of people who say they are polyamorous, but can't quite seem to handle the emotional burden. I know one person I see who had to break up with her partner because overtime she went on a date the partner would be in tears. She had to choose between this partner she loved or being true to herself. It was heartbreaking.

 

[Erotic69er]

There seems to be a rash of people who say they are polyamorous, but can't quite seem to handle the emotional burden. I know one person I see who had to break up with her partner because overtime she went on a date the partner would be in tears. She had to choose between this partner she loved or being true to herself. It was heartbreaking.

The emotional dimension cuts both ways and it can break up a marriage or pelationship. It takes a very strong and unjealous relationship to fully embrace polyamory.

 

[policywank]

I see what you mean, but usually when people say 'share', they say things like 'are you sharing your wife with others', not using the concept of having a share of her love/affection/whatever. You could say 'chainsaw' instead of 'wife', and it would sound much the same. I think in a great many instances the notion of 'sharing' is used in the sense of the other person being someone you have some rights over, in that you can decide whether or not others have 'access' to them. (This is sounding grosser the more I type.)
And it's also often used in conjunction with things like 'my wife wouldn't let me do that'. I know I've said this elsewhere, but I'm a grown-arse woman. My husband doesn't 'let' me do things. We have conversations about stuff, and we make decisions about what we're doing based on our care and concern for how the other feels about things.

I agree that to “share one’s wife” is usually used in the context of presuming to have some sort of rights or control over her. I don’t think of it that way myself but I suppose others probably might infer it if I used those words.

.....but hubby is very protective of his chainsaw