Phrases you wish you could say at work

Joined
Dec 30, 2001
Posts
2,838
1. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in

public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of

view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. No, my powers can only be used for good.

24. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.

25. Who me? I just wander from room to room
 
You forgot a few :)

26. Get your damn coffee yourself!

27. You're an friggin' engineer, how could you possibly mistake the paper shredder for a fax machine!

28. For the 100th time, I'm your secretary, not your wife. Call her if you want your drycleaning picked up.

29. Yes, I see you standing here yapping at me, but I really just don't care. Wake me when you have something pertinent to say.

30. Bite me!
 
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.


I ***really*** like this one...:cool:
 
1. To all the customers that have a petty problem with our non-automatic door, or, whatever else...Deal with it, asshole.
 
* Fuck you asshole.
* Get your head outta your god damned ass.
* What? Are you fucking nuts?
* I fucking quit, shove this job up your ass.
* You gotta be shitting me.
* I don't care if your the principal, I really don't fucking care.
 
You are way too stupid and way too fucked-up, if I were you, I would consider dropping my course.
 
One more

What the fuck were you thinking when you told them we could have it done by tomorrow?!?!?
 
It's a bad-attitude Friday, and I needed that...Thanks! :)


At my office, we have a file labeled "N.M.F.P.", and we hope that no one at exec level ever asks what it means, which is "Not My Fucking Problem"!! :p
 
How bout

A fuckup on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part.
 
JaymesBlond007 said:
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

Add some ropes to strap you to the chair and a lock for your office door? And I will be your assistant. :devil:
 
To my boss

If it wasn't for me You would have to get off your ass and work for a change!

Holden
 
Your mother does not work here, clean up after yourself!

Anyone complaining, being a pain or just plain rude will have an additional 10.00$ fee added to their bill!!
;)
 
sch00lteacher said:
* Fuck you asshole.
* Get your head outta your god damned ass.
* What? Are you fucking nuts?
* I fucking quit, shove this job up your ass.
* You gotta be shitting me.
* I don't care if your the principal, I really don't fucking care.

I agree with all of these...except I am not a teacher...so that last one doesn't apply to me...so I will add one that I would LOVE to say to some of my co-workers!

Fuck Off...you skinny little fuck!

Rough day at work :) Thanks for letting me vent :)

Cheers,
Body
 
How about

"I'm sorry, you appear to have mistaken me for someone who gives a shit"
 
My personal favorite

My personal favorites at work that totally throw my boss for a loop because I already know the answer to it




And this is my problem because?
You run this place better than I can.


This involves me how?
This is what I pay you to do.


You're telling me because?
You need to deal with this so I can go screw around with my truck.
 
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