freescorfr
Awaiting autumn harvests
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2002
- Posts
- 2,805
pagancowgirl said:Ah but Nathon... you can't even begin to give until you've learned to take... selflessness is deadly and lonely and gray.
Be selfish... have a true meeting of the minds... an all night mind fuck... take and take and take until you don't even realize that you're really giving.
I always come across PCG's posts too late at night! I find many full of profound, often counter our nurturing-truths{ These are the beliefs we receive, often from grandparents, church and family}.
This one is classic. Put others first, move over for your little brother, always think of others before yourself.
It's not a question of not thinking of others and considering them, it's a matter of priority.
Nathon - you have a life: it is your life. It is a gift your parents have given to you. This is your life to take care of.
When as a parent you give a child life - with the help of your partner - it is like any gift. Once given you can't say to the person - I did give you it, but I want you to use it differently. A lot of parents do just that actually and it causes havoc in lives! It's not much of a gift if you keep control over its use.
But you have this life. It is your responsibility, noone elses. Therefore, your first responsibility is to care for your life. Everyone you encounter in life is in the same position. PCG is so right - and moreover there is nothing else possible. If you think you are taking care of others you are deluding yourself. You can only take care of yourself.
It is possible for people who love you to help you care for yourself - in fact it's a great feeling that, being loved in that way. You can do the same in return - but in the end the only person who can look after your life is yourself.
Unless you learn to do that first, it's pretty difficult to help others in their task of loving themselves.

