That's how I find my bitches, yo.
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That's how I find my bitches, yo.
IhateClowns
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Hi ladies. I just watched a marathon of Tool Academy and read the book by the date guru Mysterie (what a fruit). Lets hook up...
IhateClowns
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Hello ladies. I am the epitome of what a man should be. I shave my pits and pubes. I get manicures and pedicures. I have more product in my hair then you ever could. I fake bake twice a week and use teeth whitener like it is tooth paste. If you are looking for a manly man like myself please don't hesitate any further. Ht me up.
lind3127
Literotica Guru
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I am a fat, ugly, bald, toothless, broke guy who has erectile dysfunction. I am in search of playboy model type of woman. I wanna get married & live in my foreclosed trailer at the edge of the landfill {where i am security guard}. Please apply within to be considered.
flirtygirly
♡♡ Snuggle-Matrix ♡♡
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o.m.g. we could be a purrfect pair. i am skinny...i got me a case of the anorexia...but i don't mind baby...i'll make food for you all day long. i like to walk around topless...a lot...even around people i don't know. hope you don't mind...my last boyfriend Earl, got real jealous, but i pushed him onto the train tracks...shhh...don't you go telling no body that, it's a secret. anyways...as i was saying, i think you sound hot as hell baby. i grew up inand gave birth to all 5 of my babies in a trailer court, hell we should get married at your trailer!! oh, and i do got me 5 different baby daddys...but most of them are cool. here's my number 865-7309...imma be waiting for your call sexy.
IhateClowns
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I am 78 years old. Looking for a 21 year old big titted nursie type to do check ups on me. I need my boils rubbed, my toe nails clipped and my uni brow plucked every now and then since the hairs keep falling into my eyes. I am worth 12.5k and medicare has given me a new scooter. I will nee you to take me to the store for my preparation h and immodium ad.
I love long tongue kisses and fingering nursie types with my boney fingers. If interested please speak up as the belltone in my left ear is runnin outta battery life.
I love long tongue kisses and fingering nursie types with my boney fingers. If interested please speak up as the belltone in my left ear is runnin outta battery life.
IhateClowns
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That is just too damn funny. I wonder how all you people in the trailer park have internet available. I suppose it is like the guy driving the piece of shit car with the 1k spinners and expensive stereo systems
IhateClowns
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My name is Al, my gums bleed but not all the time. I use deodorant but not all the time. I have a hairy front and back. I have yellow toe nails and they have to be filed down on a weekly basis. Looking for a good woman that is skilled with a chisel.
I have some skills to bring to the table. When I sneeze I look almost like a human roll-up birthday toy that unravels because I have so much nose hair. I can microwave just about anything as long as there is a recipe involved. I make a mean Top Ramen.
Please realize I need a woman that can do laundry. I don't. Just turn my clothes inside out and back again. It is easier that way. My undies used to be white, but they have that exotic color too them now, and if you get close you can smell the tropical breezes they produce.
I have no job right now because I am holding out for a management opportunity. I used to work at Harley Davidson, but got fired because as soon as I walked into the show room I would pop a boner. The customers and especially the manager didn't like that. That is the main reason I am holding out to be a manager, because if I get a boner damn it I can't help that and I shouldn't be fired for it.
I have long hair that is braided into a pony tail. 47 tatoos that are all just on my left calf. I don't want them anywhere else. If you are interested look for me online here. I come on every day btween 12am-12pm. I keep refreshing monster and career builder in hopes of landing that big management position.
I have some skills to bring to the table. When I sneeze I look almost like a human roll-up birthday toy that unravels because I have so much nose hair. I can microwave just about anything as long as there is a recipe involved. I make a mean Top Ramen.
Please realize I need a woman that can do laundry. I don't. Just turn my clothes inside out and back again. It is easier that way. My undies used to be white, but they have that exotic color too them now, and if you get close you can smell the tropical breezes they produce.
I have no job right now because I am holding out for a management opportunity. I used to work at Harley Davidson, but got fired because as soon as I walked into the show room I would pop a boner. The customers and especially the manager didn't like that. That is the main reason I am holding out to be a manager, because if I get a boner damn it I can't help that and I shouldn't be fired for it.
I have long hair that is braided into a pony tail. 47 tatoos that are all just on my left calf. I don't want them anywhere else. If you are interested look for me online here. I come on every day btween 12am-12pm. I keep refreshing monster and career builder in hopes of landing that big management position.
IhateClowns
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Yes not sure how to do this. I am the mother of a 29 year old. HE is a virgin and extremely introverted. I keep catching him watching porn on the black and white tv downstairs. he looks like a monkey fucking a football. he is convulsing like and epileptic and sweating profusely all over my shag carpeting. I really want him to find a good christian woman to get these demons out of him.
A little about him. He is 5'3", gets his height from his daddy. The proactive solution has worked miracles on his skin and I think his face looks like that handsome actors Edward James Olmos'. He is a bit bow-legged (he had an accident when he tried to ride a goat at a petting zoo and his legs never went back to normal). He is a master now. Not sure what Dungeons and Dragons is but he says he is a master.
He likes to watch tv and his favorite movie has something to do with that Hannah Montana girl. He is an avid reader and we both think JR Tolkein is a master writer.
Anyway if you think you can exorcise the demons that are causing the veins in his forehead to bulge every time he sees a penis entering a vagina then you might be the one for him. Please be gentle with my baby boy. If you have any questions please feel free to call.
A little about him. He is 5'3", gets his height from his daddy. The proactive solution has worked miracles on his skin and I think his face looks like that handsome actors Edward James Olmos'. He is a bit bow-legged (he had an accident when he tried to ride a goat at a petting zoo and his legs never went back to normal). He is a master now. Not sure what Dungeons and Dragons is but he says he is a master.
He likes to watch tv and his favorite movie has something to do with that Hannah Montana girl. He is an avid reader and we both think JR Tolkein is a master writer.
Anyway if you think you can exorcise the demons that are causing the veins in his forehead to bulge every time he sees a penis entering a vagina then you might be the one for him. Please be gentle with my baby boy. If you have any questions please feel free to call.
IhateClowns
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Hey babe. Wanna see the gun show? I have full length mirrors throughout my home. I need a steroid vixen to help me get ready for my next show. I need you to help me with my self tanner cream. Someone to wash my spandex banana hammock. Oh and someone to apply my teeth whitener so it makes my leathery oiled up skin glisten like a morning dew. Wana help? Meet me at the gym yo!!!
IhateClowns
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Hey its me.
(need I say more)
Game over!!! Thread is done we have a winner.
RyanBlack
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IhateClowns
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12"??? Why not just ask for a foot
I could fuck you 3 times to make that 12". Would that work?darn it morri---you always leave me out!
Tell a little white lie about his whopper
RyanBlack
Shy and Innocent Good Boy
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ummmmmmmmm honey ya accidently put that notice up in the men's room and theres a trucker on the phone wants to meet up with ya down at Applebee's
12"??? Why not just ask for a foot
I guess that does cover all 3 bases
Oh yes, truckers make awesome money, they can keep me in the lifestyle to which I'm accustomed.
IhateClowns
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I guess that does cover all 3 bases
But not a home run?? Damn I always fall, well a FOOT short. I might need to start responding to those penis enlargement emails
IhateClowns
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Nothing but the absolute best for you dear. What time are we meeting at Sizzler again? I am starvin'
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