Orgasms during sex? HOW??

[niviene]

I have the same problem. I am unable to achieve orgasm through intercourse, although I did once time, seemingly by accident, with an old boyfriend of mine while I was on top of him. Imagine my surprise. I must have been all of 19 years old at the time.. my one and only ever orgasm during actual intercourse. I think that may have added to my drive to be a Domme, because now I usually just enjoy "forcing" my baby down on me. While the actual act of sex feels very, very good, and I really like the doggy style position and can become very wet from it, I just can't finish. So instead, I make him finish me first, and then.. if he's been a good boy... I take care of him.

I wonder what causes this, though... with such a high sex drive, it seems like intercourse in some position or other would work out, at least for a small percentage of the time.. hmm.

Although I would like to stress here... ladies, you have every right to have an orgasm first. Don't go through a relationship letting yourself not finish while he cums all over you (at least not every single time.)

 

[warrior queen]

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I just want people to be aware that in many, many cases where people are probably turning to toys to fix their inability to orgasm, it could be a physical or mental problem at the root. In many of those cases (assuming the insurance or other financial ability), these people deserve to know that while toys are substantial in improving their sexplay, there may actually be a fix, a physical or mental therapy, a surgery or treatment (physical or chemical) out there that would make toys the additive they are originally designed to be, not the necessity they seem to be.

you definately have a valid point there.
BUT....
i'm not sure about other women, but i do know that if it was me, there's no way in hell i would wait for the time needed to let therapy (or surgery - even though i'm not 100% sure what you mean by that?) work on changing my attitudes and/or responses.

sorry, but when i have sex, i want to orgasm too - and if that means bringing toys into play on a regular basis, then that's precisely what i'm going to do.

this thread was originally about how to help someone achieve orgasm through PIV sex, but what it has highlighted, is the number of women who simply never achieve that.
all i'm saying is - if you need toys and additions to get that orgasm, why the hell shouldn't you do so?!!!

and yes, for some women (i have 4 friends exactly like this!) toys are absolutely necessary for them to reach orgasm.
they're not interested in therapy to find out what the problem is - they enjoy sex anyway - it's just to get that little bit more, they need the extra stimulation.

wq

 

[MadelynneJade]

Niviene, thanks, I relate to what you're saying. Thank you, all, I really appreciate all of the advice. I'll get my opportunity to test everything I can (Minus the toys because I haven't any) in, mmm....'bout 10 or 15 minutes.

 

[Bandit58]

I am one of those who has difficulty orgasming with a partner. I am fine when I am masturbating, and I use a vibrator most times. I don't need anyone telling me I am less of a woman because I need that help to get off.....I do get pleasure out of making love, and I enjoy pleasing my partner, but I have difficulty letting my inhibitions go, probably due to an ex who reinforced the idea that it was MY fault that I didn't enjoy sex. I have blamed myself for years and it's only in the last 15 months that I have had sex with anyone else.

That first partner after the ex was extremely patient and taught me a lot, and I did manage to orgasm with him a few times using the vibrator. I haven't used it with my subsequent 2 partners, mainly because I didn't want to rely on it, but I am coming to the conclusion that any orgasm, however obtained, is a good thing I've not had any experience with other toys but will be meeting with someone soon who does, and we will have a lot of fun exploring me.....

 

[warrior queen]

love the song lyric, bandit!

so, soooooo RIGHT!!!