Opening up and being brave

[Guest]

All right - prepare rocks to throw at horse.

I think threads like this are good for people who aren't mentioned, and before you all say "but you are", there are plenty where I am not. They teach us a valuable lesson, to wit: no one of us is the center of the universe. Others can receive praise without it being a slight to anyone not praised. And if we are noble, generous, and good, then like Liar and Minsue and Matriarch and SubJoe and who knows who else, we can forgive the flagging memories or wandering wits of those who love us and fail to mention us in one post on one thread for whatever reason.

I nearly didn't post to this thread because I knew that I would forget names. It's impossible not to when so many people are so good and kind. But I also nearly didn't post because those I love know it, and I doubt they need a thread to tell them. Indeed, I doubt half of them have read this thread to see themselves on it. I took that thought a step further and thought, "surely my friends have such ample evidence that they are my friends that they won't be offended if my mind does slip; after all, anyone who knows me well enough to call me a friend knows how scatter-brained I can be." I have faith in them. I believe that they have faith in me. No one genuinely a friend could possibly imagine I thought any less of him because he isn't named personally on a thread that is simply there to pay a few compliments.

As for those not close friends but perhaps acquaintances, perhaps we all must accept that envy is the ugliest of the deadly sins. Yes, it's nice to be mentioned and to feel liked. However, not getting that little ego boost is not the end of the world, nor is it cause to complain that other people have received it. Happiness and respect are not zero sum games; we don't lose anything because other people have them. None of us can be happy in life until we can learn to be uncritically happy for others, and not turn instantly to asking "What about me?"

Commence stone-throwing, but do know this - I'm only passionate about the topic because I'm been there, I've done it, and I know where that path leads.

Shanglan

Dearest Shanglan, you are so wise for a horse (and darling, did I mention darling?)

I suppose I should make mention that I do not use threads like this to inform others of my care and concern for them, or of my respect, friendship or high opinion. Like you, my memory is a scattered thing, and some things live as impressions without the people who produced them attached. Thus, whenever I list anyone or anything, I set a limit and specify there are far more unmentioned than mentioned.

But really, I don't use threads like this to tell others that I care.

I use threads like this to remind myself. It is a practice I maintain that whenever I feel angry, irritable, moody, sad, or just blue, I make a list of all the people I love and all the good things in my life. Even if a particular situation gets no better, I can feel better about it. And if I show this list to others, it is to see them smile at knowing I love and am loved.

So it's all completely selfish. I'm a terribly selfish individual. It's all about me, after all

 

[BlackShanglan]

So it's all completely selfish. I'm a terribly selfish individual. It's all about me, after all

Damnit, why can't it be about me today?

Shanglan

 

[Guest]

Damnit, why can't it be about me today?

Shanglan

I'll take that as a request because, really, sometimes being all about me is being all about someone else...

And I'll just start the massage here at the base of the spine, right above the tail....my, this might take HOURS...

 

[English Lady]

Shanglan -I you and agree with you too.

Why does this kind of thread have to come down to what you are receiving? In my mind it is about giving. I can't say I'd be a little upset at first if my name wasn't mentioned BUT I would still send out my love and admiration to others because it is good to give.

"Oh master grant that I may never seek, so much to be consoled as to console. to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love with all my soul"

Instead of feeling left out, join in. Give out a message that will bring someone else some Joy and feel how much stronger the happinerss from giving is than the happiness from receiving.

My tuppen'th worth.

 

[Tom Collins]

Dearest Shanglan, you are so wise for a horse (and darling, did I mention darling?)

I suppose I should make mention that I do not use threads like this to inform others of my care and concern for them, or of my respect, friendship or high opinion. Like you, my memory is a scattered thing, and some things live as impressions without the people who produced them attached. Thus, whenever I list anyone or anything, I set a limit and specify there are far more unmentioned than mentioned.

But really, I don't use threads like this to tell others that I care.

I use threads like this to remind myself. It is a practice I maintain that whenever I feel angry, irritable, moody, sad, or just blue, I make a list of all the people I love and all the good things in my life. Even if a particular situation gets no better, I can feel better about it. And if I show this list to others, it is to see them smile at knowing I love and am loved.

So it's all completely selfish. I'm a terribly selfish individual. It's all about me, after all

Exactly, Miss Mal. Thank you for expressing that for me.

What a thread like this does, for me at any rate, is to make me think hard about all the people in my life. To really consider them. To hold them up to a mental spot light and turn them from side to side, like a fine jewel, watching the sparkle and shine. I have to examine my feelings for them closely and dig to find the reasons for those feelings so that I can figure out how to express them to others. It leads me to a new understanding of how I feel about them and why.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Exactly, Miss Mal. Thank you for expressing that for me.

What a thread like this does, for me at any rate, is to make me think hard about all the people in my life. To really consider them. To hold them up to a mental spot light and turn them from side to side, like a fine jewel, watching the sparkle and shine. I have to examine my feelings for them closely and dig to find the reasons for those feelings so that I can figure out how to express them to others. It leads me to a new understanding of how I feel about them and why.

That's a lovely thought, Tom Collins. You and MalachiteInk touched on the sense of it; I think that's what I like about these threads as well.

I'll take that as a request because, really, sometimes being all about me is being all about someone else...

And I'll just start the massage here at the base of the spine, right above the tail....my, this might take HOURS...

That's even lovelier.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Now then....... there is a second part to this idea..... a kind of ulterior motive in a way.

Look backl at the pm's you recieved (and I do hope more pms wre sent than posts posted. IF not then get busy!) and read the posts and ponder the ideas that came about from the swirls and streams and other things.

What did you learn about yourself, about how others see you? DO you have strengths you didn't know you had or made more progress in areas than you thought you had come?

See yourself from another point of view and see that you are more than you may think you are.......

 

[BlackShanglan]

I see that I am absurdly fond of flattery. Thank goodness I always take it absolutely seriously.

Shanglan

 

[Guest]

Now then....... there is a second part to this idea..... a kind of ulterior motive in a way.

Look backl at the pm's you recieved (and I do hope more pms wre sent than posts posted. IF not then get busy!) and read the posts and ponder the ideas that came about from the swirls and streams and other things.

What did you learn about yourself, about how others see you? DO you have strengths you didn't know you had or made more progress in areas than you thought you had come?

See yourself from another point of view and see that you are more than you may think you are.......

A little Johari window experiment? You clever, clever man!

 

[Guest]

I see that I am absurdly fond of flattery. Thank goodness I always take it absolutely seriously.

Shanglan

And so many of us are quite serious about supplying you with flattery in large amounts. It's so pleasant to see a grown horse blush!

 

[entitled]

Did somebody say Johari window?

 

[Guest]

Did somebody say Johari window?

I did one of these a while ago, but I'm interested in seeing what people here think...Mal's Johari Window

 

[BlackShanglan]

I've finally given in:

My Johari window.

 

[Guest]

I've finally given in:

My Johari window.

It's fun There's little else to make one think like hearing the views of others about that very subject.

 

[impressive]

It's fun There's little else to make one think like hearing the views of others about that very subject.

Resurrecting my own: http://kevan.org/johari?view=Alessia

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I see that I am absurdly fond of flattery. Thank goodness I always take it absolutely seriously.

Shanglan

hard to flatter someone when all you can say good abou tthem is the god's honest truth

 

[3113]

I did one of these a while ago, but I'm interested in seeing what people here think...Mal's Johari Window

Whoa-ho! What a scary thought! The discordance between how I see myself vs. how others see me. Talk about split personality....

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Off the top of my head, today's adorations:

Crimmie. Always. Smart, sexy, pretty, she makes me wish I were bi.

Thanks babe You made my day. Nice to see I did get mentioned at least once in the four pages of this thread.

And yes, I do hate these because no matter how many people will say "oh crim, you're loved, people think you're wonderful, etc" when I'm feeling down on my self, rarely do I find my name on any of their lists in this kind of thread.

Having said that, I love most everyone here and will not mention names because I don't want to leave anyone out. Thanks once again to all of you who were worried when the storms came crashing through here Sunday night. More storms tonight and tomorrow, so I'm just praying for mild ones (and yes, I finally have my net back).

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Thanks babe You made my day. Nice to see I did get mentioned at least once in the four pages of this thread.

And yes, I do hate these because no matter how many people will say "oh crim, you're loved, people think you're wonderful, etc" when I'm feeling down on my self, rarely do I find my name on any of their lists in this kind of thread.

Having said that, I love most everyone here and will not mention names because I don't want to leave anyone out. Thanks once again to all of you who were worried when the storms came crashing through here Sunday night. More storms tonight and tomorrow, so I'm just praying for mild ones (and yes, I finally have my net back).

I'm just glad you're safe Crim. Was a scary time when I saw the news and the footage.

 

[Guest]

Whoa-ho! What a scary thought! The discordance between how I see myself vs. how others see me. Talk about split personality....

Hehheh, I'm usually the worst judge of myself or most of what I do, so I take what other people say at least a LITTLE seriously.

 

[Liar]

Now then....... there is a second part to this idea..... a kind of ulterior motive in a way.

Look backl at the pm's you recieved (and I do hope more pms wre sent than posts posted. IF not then get busy!) and read the posts and ponder the ideas that came about from the swirls and streams and other things.

What did you learn about yourself, about how others see you? DO you have strengths you didn't know you had or made more progress in areas than you thought you had come?

See yourself from another point of view and see that you are more than you may think you are.......

Would work, if there had been any.

But really, I don't need any. Because I already know who has thoughts about me and what those are. At least those who I care enough about to want to know what they think. And I think they know that I know.


I haven't made an effort to try to mention all I care about here. That would justr be a silly long list. Instead, I've tried to give light to certain positive aspects of people, aspects that I think desevres more attention - although the people themselves might or might not get alot of general adoration, public of private.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

I'm just glad you're safe Crim. Was a scary time when I saw the news and the footage.

Thanks Colly

 

[Tom Collins]

I couldn't resist...I'd love to know how wrong I'm am about myself. I put a link here as well as in my sig because I know not everyone has the sigs turned on.
Tom's Johari Window

 

[CharleyH]

Damnit, why can't it be about me today?

Shanglan

I got Yui babe, I mean you, yui - YOU!.

 

[English Lady]

I adore a whole load of people, I am woman with loose affections

I adore liar he is sense, always.

And more, but it's early