On Being the Center of the Universe

[A Desert Rose]

Some people are able to make themselves the center of attention at the drop of a hat. Whether it is positive attention or negative, some people just crave it and go to any length to get it. Notice how they are able to turn a right angle in a thread and make that thread about themselves? How they have been treated badly for no reason by most in this community? How they are victimized, but glad they are victims?

By golly, all they do is ask honest questions... and in such a polite and genuine manner, too. And still they are mistreated and misunderstood by the large majority of us.






We had this little discussion some time ago and it was determined that Ruby and I are the center of the Universe.

 

[SexyChele]

We had this little discussion some time ago and it was determined that Ruby and I are the center of the Universe.

But you and Ruby are the center of the universe!

 

[MissTaken]

You two ladies are the center of my fantastical universe!



But yes, to many degrees, posting can be very much about attention and some posters crave that attention so much that every thread is hijacked once they enter and turns the topic to them.

Hmmmm I don't see you or Ruby fitting that description, though/

 

[A Desert Rose]

You have both seen the bait threads and the bait posts. That is, questions poised in such a fashion that no matter who nicely you try to reply and state your point, it will turn into a mean spirited exchange.

I see it constantly on the GB and it is almost always the same person(s). I never post there or respond to them for this very reason. People like me are being baited into something that people like me, do not engage in.

Those are the individuals who want to stay on the outside and complain that they are. They are on the outside by their very own choosing. And guess what? So am I. I like being outside... it is liberating to be here and not follow a herd mentality.

If the higher goal is to make this a more welcoming place, then I wish all luck in that endeavor. But it is not my job to make people feel good or make them like me. It is my responsiblity to be considerate and polite and I try to do so.

Now, come on in ladies. The center of the universe awaits. There is plenty of room for us all.

 

[SexyChele]

Unfortunately, ADR, baiting is something that quite a few folks seem to live for. I know that I've been drawn in before - and hated it after the exchange was done. Now, I find it is easier to either 1. stay out of it, or 2. turn it into a joke, instead.

What is rather amusing is that, when one stands back and watches a classic "baiter" in action, you can see the passive/aggressive behavior Lance once talked about. Amusing and a little amazing.

Huh, center of the universe? Hmm.....little bit afraid of heights here. Don't know how I would take standing up on that pedestal. 'Sides, it's much more fun being down below, looking up skirts!

 

[Ebonyfire]

Hmmm

What is rather amusing is that, when one stands back and watches a classic "baiter" in action, you can see the passive/aggressive behavior Lance once talked about

Would that be a "master/mistress baiter?"

Eb

 

[Pure]

Hi Sexy Chele,

You said,

Unfortunately, ADR, baiting is something that quite a few folks seem to live for. I know that I've been drawn in before - and hated it after the exchange was done. Now, I find it is easier to either 1. stay out of it, or 2. turn it into a joke, instead.

What is rather amusing is that, when one stands back and watches a classic "baiter" in action, you can see the passive/aggressive behavior Lance once talked about. Amusing and a little amazing.

I agree with your drift. I would add that it takes two to tango.
A baiter requires the others with machismo/machisma, who wants to take them on and be noticed doing it. Kind of a local action hero.

I do see the point occasionally; if someone's maligned to publically, it's NOT counterproductive to put in a good word and say "Ms Doe is a Great Person." But the problem comes if that defense goes over to actual counterattack; this probably feeds the flames "Ms Doe's attacker is a scumsucking, etc..."

But in any case, the motive are irrelevant and incrutable. Every topic is keep alive by those drawn to it or hating it and irresistably drawn to posting to it.

Best,
J.

 

[zipman]

Hi Sexy Chele,

You said,

Unfortunately, ADR, baiting is something that quite a few folks seem to live for. I know that I've been drawn in before - and hated it after the exchange was done. Now, I find it is easier to either 1. stay out of it, or 2. turn it into a joke, instead.

What is rather amusing is that, when one stands back and watches a classic "baiter" in action, you can see the passive/aggressive behavior Lance once talked about. Amusing and a little amazing.

I agree with your drift. I would add that it takes two to tango.
A baiter requires the others with machismo/machisma, who wants to take them on and be noticed doing it. Kind of a local action hero.

I do see the point occasionally, if someone's maligned to publically put in a good word MsDoe is a Great Person, but the actual counterattack probably feeds the flames Ms Doe's attacker is a scumsucking, etc..."

But in any case, the motive are irrelevant and incrutable. Every topic is keep alive by those drawn to it or hating it and irresistably drawn to posting to it.

Best,
J.

There is a flip side to this argument that not defending a person or a mean-spirited post is actually validating it. The silence can be seen as tacit approval. Sometimes, it is important to step up and say that you disagree with a post, even if it is an unpopular view simply so it isn't taken as fact.

I've argued with many here, and while my motivations are usually good, getting attention has never been one of them.

 

[pierced_boy]

What have we been taught

silence is golden

turn the other cheek

treat others as we would be treated our selves

if you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all


How do we balance it all up?


Hey ~~~~~ Roland bring that Thompson Gun. Got plenty of fuckoffs loaded. Yeah man I know, but ~~ just don't cut the mustard, just load up the fuckoffs you headless cunt.

opps sorry didn't realise you folk were watching

shit shit shit
h

 

[Ebonyfire]

How do we balance it all up?

You don't. You can only control yourself.

Eb

 

[pierced_boy]

TKX

H

 

[Ebonyfire]

I agree with your drift. I would add that it takes two to tango.
A baiter requires the others with machismo/machisma, who wants to take them on and be noticed doing it. Kind of a local action hero.

In my opinion, most people just say what is on their minds. I know I do. I personally have been accused of posting to get in good with someone. That is ludicrious beyond belief. What can an online stranger do for me that cannot be done by one of my subs or my SO in reality? Be real.

Who gives a kitty about being on a local action hero?

Eb

 

[A Desert Rose]

here I am:

 

[A Desert Rose]

.

 

[Freya]

Ok, it's a real crush now. You're so beautiful ADR.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Ok, it's a real crush now. You're so beautiful ADR.

OMG-- you sneak you. LMAO

That was a special request so I posted real fast and removed them both.... you and someone else has seen that pic.

LMAO

 

[Freya]

Oh hun, I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was a private thing or I wouldn't have looked. I didn't mean to intrude.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Oh hun, I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was a private thing or I wouldn't have looked. I didn't mean to intrude.

Oh please doll... dont be sorry. This is a public forum. I would never mind you seeing me. Not a bit.

 

[artful]

Zip,...

There is a flip side to this argument that not defending a person or a mean-spirited post is actually validating it. The silence can be seen as tacit approval. Sometimes, it is important to step up and say that you disagree with a post, even if it is an unpopular view simply so it isn't taken as fact.

I've argued with many here, and while my motivations are usually good, getting attention has never been one of them.

...rarely is it, I don't agree with your insight,...but on this occasion,...my opinion differs.

In real life,...in real time,...often it is necessary to rebuke a falsity, or a downright lie, but here on the net,...I have found it does nothing more, than encourage another post by a mean spirited person.

If trolls, and/or others, make demeaning posts about something or someone, I won't respond in any way.

(JMHO,...but it's mine,...and I own it)-

 

[P. B. Walker]

DAAAAMMMNNNN... I missed ADR!!! I'm sooo mad at myself.

ugggh.

<pouting>


PBW

 

[DRxBlue]

Gee...i've been neglecting this place too much

Nice to see you Artful!

But what i really came to say was i'm in love with the idea of putting Ruby and ADR at the Center of the Universe.

Such a sexy, scarlet fantasy, would a little Blue mess up your colour scheme too much?

i'll try to get a handle on my schedule again and visit more.

Blue

 

[A Desert Rose]

You two gentleman are very kind.

Merry Christmas to you and anyone who reads this.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Back on topic

I have to say I agree with Artful and with Zip. Both points have merit. But I think there is a fine line between them. And Artful told me once, long ago that he would prefer people not come to his defense for the reasons he has already posted.

However, it is not neccessarily his defense that I am concerned with. What really annoys me is simply rudeness, by anyone. I am not singling out anyone in particular. There is no need for being unkind. It is so easy to ignore and not respond to people one does not like. Much less effort than trolling the boards in order to poke at someone.