Older Male Seeking Female Friends Who Can Tolerate "Dad Jokes"

[softbird]

Australia!! Must be Monday morning there... I will respect your work schedule! I'm retired, but I have vague memories of working...

Oh, keep those at bay...why would you need them?

 

[Lichen2CU]

Is it just me or do others find it annoying that Lit goes to another page without telling you and then you don't realize a message has been posted....

I actually have "fond memories" of working. Helping young people come to better understand the natural world was great (well... most of the time...)

 

[NCneedslove_18]

What’s long, hard, and makes women moan?

Their husbands doing the dishes.

 

[NCneedslove_18]

What’s the difference between a man and a condom?

Condoms have a better chance of being reliable.

 

[quasimodm]

Why don't ants ever get sick?

Because they have tiny anty bodies.

 

[quasimodm]

Oh, keep those at bay...why would you need them?

I sea what you did there ...

 

[Lichen2CU]

Why don't ants ever get sick?

Because they have tiny anty bodies.

Ooooo! Extra points for biology theme...

 

[Lichen2CU]

What’s the difference between a man and a condom?

Condoms have a better chance of being reliable.

Sadly, you may not be wrong...

 

[Lichen2CU]

What’s long, hard, and makes women moan?

Their husbands doing the dishes.

 

[Deadbed1968]

Shouldn’t cannabis dispensaries really be called Bakeries?

 

[Deadbed1968]

I think foot warmers are misnamed…Shouldn’t they be called Toesters?

 

[Deadbed1968]

What is the greatest benefit of living in Switzerland?


I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus…

 

[Deadbed1968]

I’m trying out a new whiskey diet…

I’ve lost 3 days already!

 

[Deadbed1968]

How many apples grow on a tree?


All of them.

 

[Lichen2CU]

How many apples grow on a tree?


All of them.

Wow!! Possibly a thread record for longest string of funny dad jokes in a row!!!

 

[Lichen2CU]

Best drink for a Halloween party?

(Apple Spider, of course...)

 

[Deadbed1968]

Wow!! Possibly a thread record for longest string of funny dad jokes in a row!!!

Dad jokes are definitely my thing! My adult children roll their eyes so hard when I get going that their eyeballs are going to get stuck!

 

[NCneedslove_18]

I’m not sure if I can match those dad jokes, but I’ll try!

I have to give credit to my handsome friend from across the pond for my submissions.

Why did the Mexican take anti-anxiety pills?

For Hispanic attacks

 

[NCneedslove_18]

And….

Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through the hills. Tonto suddenly stops

"Halt Kimosabe"

"What's up Tonto?"

Tonto gets off his horse, slowly kneels down and puts his ear to the ground and huffs. Then slowly gets up.

"Buffalo come"

"That's amazing how did you know that?"

"Wet... Sticky"

 

[NCneedslove_18]

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet … I don’t know y.

 

[NCneedslove_18]

Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged

 

[NCneedslove_18]

I asked my wife if I was the only one she’d been with… she said yes, all the others were nines and tens

 

[Deadbed1968]

I’m not sure if I can match those dad jokes, but I’ll try!

I have to give credit to my handsome friend from across the pond for my submissions.

Why did the Mexican take anti-anxiety pills?

For Hispanic attacks

Nailed it!

 

[NCneedslove_18]

Nailed it!

Thanks! I can’t wait to see what new ones you post.

 

[NCneedslove_18]

So here are a couple PG rated ones.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes…

She gave me a hug