Dixon Carter Lee
Headliner
- Joined
- Nov 22, 1999
- Posts
- 48,682
So I'm doing this private gig tonight for an Orthodox Jewish group -- big event, and I've already been asked (warned) to not do anything to "risque" or "pop culture" and I've done groups like this before, so I'm down wit dat.
Anyway...it's a pleasant but sedate crowd. The woman who booked me won't shake hands with me, because she's Orthodox, and I guess they don't do that. That's cool. And everyone else is polite, but also sort of skittish and tentative. It's going to be a hard crowd, I can just tell.
And making matters worse is the set up -- the stage is far from the madding crowd, and there's no mike, so I realize I'm going to have to project my ass off just to keep the energy up in the room.
There's no one to introduce me, which happens, and I have a bit for that all worked on where I introduce myself. Actually, I'm happy to do it, because it gives me a chance to whoop up the crowd. And I do it! I get them all excited and introduce myself and they applaud wildly and I say "Thank you!" and I'm about to start the show when some somber looking geek walks up to the stage and motions for me to wait. He then quietly turns to the audience and says, in the tiniest of energy-shrinking voices, "Just for the show, could we have all the women sit on the left and all the men on the right?"
The performance temperature in the room hits zero, Centigrade. I'm standing there with my big performer's smile on my face while the ENTIRE FUCKING AUDIENCE GETS UP to switch seats so all the women are sitting on the left and all the men are sitting on the right like I'm about to marry Tzeitle and Motel.
But I'm pro, and toss off "Okay, now that you've brought the show to a screeching halt, let's try that applause thing again..." And, thank Jehova, they laughed.
It turned out to be a pretty good show, but GOD! what a start.
Anyway...it's a pleasant but sedate crowd. The woman who booked me won't shake hands with me, because she's Orthodox, and I guess they don't do that. That's cool. And everyone else is polite, but also sort of skittish and tentative. It's going to be a hard crowd, I can just tell.
And making matters worse is the set up -- the stage is far from the madding crowd, and there's no mike, so I realize I'm going to have to project my ass off just to keep the energy up in the room.
There's no one to introduce me, which happens, and I have a bit for that all worked on where I introduce myself. Actually, I'm happy to do it, because it gives me a chance to whoop up the crowd. And I do it! I get them all excited and introduce myself and they applaud wildly and I say "Thank you!" and I'm about to start the show when some somber looking geek walks up to the stage and motions for me to wait. He then quietly turns to the audience and says, in the tiniest of energy-shrinking voices, "Just for the show, could we have all the women sit on the left and all the men on the right?"
The performance temperature in the room hits zero, Centigrade. I'm standing there with my big performer's smile on my face while the ENTIRE FUCKING AUDIENCE GETS UP to switch seats so all the women are sitting on the left and all the men are sitting on the right like I'm about to marry Tzeitle and Motel.
But I'm pro, and toss off "Okay, now that you've brought the show to a screeching halt, let's try that applause thing again..." And, thank Jehova, they laughed.
It turned out to be a pretty good show, but GOD! what a start.