Okay, now that you've brought the show to a screeching halt...

Dixon Carter Lee

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So I'm doing this private gig tonight for an Orthodox Jewish group -- big event, and I've already been asked (warned) to not do anything to "risque" or "pop culture" and I've done groups like this before, so I'm down wit dat.

Anyway...it's a pleasant but sedate crowd. The woman who booked me won't shake hands with me, because she's Orthodox, and I guess they don't do that. That's cool. And everyone else is polite, but also sort of skittish and tentative. It's going to be a hard crowd, I can just tell.

And making matters worse is the set up -- the stage is far from the madding crowd, and there's no mike, so I realize I'm going to have to project my ass off just to keep the energy up in the room.

There's no one to introduce me, which happens, and I have a bit for that all worked on where I introduce myself. Actually, I'm happy to do it, because it gives me a chance to whoop up the crowd. And I do it! I get them all excited and introduce myself and they applaud wildly and I say "Thank you!" and I'm about to start the show when some somber looking geek walks up to the stage and motions for me to wait. He then quietly turns to the audience and says, in the tiniest of energy-shrinking voices, "Just for the show, could we have all the women sit on the left and all the men on the right?"

The performance temperature in the room hits zero, Centigrade. I'm standing there with my big performer's smile on my face while the ENTIRE FUCKING AUDIENCE GETS UP to switch seats so all the women are sitting on the left and all the men are sitting on the right like I'm about to marry Tzeitle and Motel.

But I'm pro, and toss off "Okay, now that you've brought the show to a screeching halt, let's try that applause thing again..." And, thank Jehova, they laughed.

It turned out to be a pretty good show, but GOD! what a start.
 
LMAO

But I didn't realize that there was a seating protocol...sheesh!
 
Don't you just hate when someone ruins the momentum of a performance like that. I have had similar things happen in concert performances and a couple of marching band competitions.
 
DCL,

The amazing thing is that you kept your cool. I would have gotten so flustered and that would have been the end for me. Did you ever find out why they had the women on one side and the men on the other? It wasn't a religious ceremony so I'm confused.

I'm glad everything worked out for you.
 
orthodox jewish has a few rules different from ur average jew. my friends's brother is an orthodox rabbi. she said she's not allowed to even hug him. women aren't really supposed to interact with men too much and such, but i could be wrong so please don't flame me if someone knows more. i only know what my jewish friend told me.
 
This was just magic. I don't know too many Old Testament jokes they would have appreciated.

All in all they were a very good crowd, and loved the show. But STARTING a show is the most important part...and this dweeb waited until I'd actually begun to pull this. He couldn't ask them to pick appropriate seats for the half hour they all sat waiting -- nooooo! "Let's wait till Mr. Magic gets 'em good and jazzed and THEN make them all play Red Rover, Red Rover."

I do love when things go wrong, though, I have to admit it. After so many years doing this you pray for moments like that, just to shake things up. I just prefer the moments to wait at least two minutes into the show.

Oy.

I did ask before the show, however, just how magical I was allowed to be. Some orthodox groups I've worked in the past have a real problem with magic -- apparently "Fooling" people is a big No-No, and I've been asked to not do anything, you know, too good.

Muhammed Ali is an amateur magician, and a Muslim, and they have the same No-No, so whenever Ali does a trick for you he then shows you the secret!
 
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