Oh mysterious woman of whips and chains..please attend this thread

[crystalhunting]

Are you feeling better my dear little Orchid?

I have been concerned.








CH

 

[cymbidia]

You're a sweet good man, CH - and thank you for asking.

The days go by, my friend, sometimes slowly, with tears and sorrow that press deeply into my soul, and sometimes more lightheartedly, with giggles parting the sadness and lighting the ache.

At times, though, it's really all i can to do not spend hour after hour huddled in a ball crying hopelessly for what might have been. Always, i try to remember that this, too, will pass.

I cry when i need to.
I cry less now then i did a week ago, and less then than i did three weeks ago.
A month from now i may only rarely cry for the lost dreams.
Life wants us to be happy.

I know this is true:
There is no way through hard times except to gut them out. There are no shortcuts through the painful times and no way to disregard the pain. One simply has to learn the lessons handed one, however hard they are.

After one walks through and past the bitterness of dashed dreams, one may again fully open one's heart to someone else.

Hopefully that someone else won't be a fucking lily-livered coward who preys on the open, honest emotions of...

Whoops.

I'm getting really fucking angry at him for the way he treated me, too, lately. I think it's healthy (the Five Stages of Grief and all that).

 

[crystalhunting]

I know this,but I have still been concerned,It is never an easy thing to deal with.I have been in similar situations myself,I know you will heal,I just want you to remember that many love and care for beautifull orchids like yourself.


And this seemed like a good way to say so.





CH

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Soulbreaking
Written by The Tea Party

IF FATE HOLDS A PURPOSE
YOU FEEL FATE WILL LEND A HAND
IT SAVES FACE DESERTS YOU
IT DEALS GRACE FROM UNDERHAND
AND EVERY TIME THE PAST’S AWAKENED
EVERY TIME YOUR SOUL STARTS BREAKING

YOU CAN’T STAND THE DISTANCE
YOU CAN’T STAND TO NOT BE AFRAID
YOU WON’T SHOW RESISTANCE
YOU CAN’T SEEM TO RUN AWAY
BECAUSE EVERY TIME THE PAST’S AWAKENED
EVERY TIME YOUR SOUL STARTS BREAKING

IN THE FACE OF THE FIRE
YOU SEE ANGELS CONSPIRE
WILL THEY HEAR YOUR DESIRES
WILL THEY STOP YOUR SOULBREAKING
COULD THEY STOP YOUR SOULBREAKING

YOU WON’T SAY YOU’RE HURTING
YOU STILL DREAM IN THE UNDERTOW
JUST A SAFE PLACE A HAVEN
JUST A KIND FACE JUST TO OVERTHROW
EVERY TIME THE PAST’S AWAKENED
EVERY TIME YOUR SOUL STARTS BREAKING

IN THE FACE OF THE FIRE
YOU SEE ANGELS CONSPIRE
WILL THEY HEAR YOUR DESIRES
WILL THEY STOP YOUR SOULBREAKING
COULD THEY STOP YOUR SOULBREAKING
WILL THEY STOP YOUR SOULBREAKING
COULD THEY STOP YOUR SOULBREAKING
PLEASE LOVE

EVERY TIME THE PAST’S AWAKENED
EVERY TIME MY SOUL STARTS BREAKING

 

[alltherage]

There is a book I have called "If the budda dated." It is a book about relationships and how we often get trapped playing the tape of an old relationship over the new ones we found. There is a chapter in the book that is about moving forward without fear to new ground. It asks the reader to consider the worst result of taking a chance again. It starts with what would happen if the worst expectation came to pass and asks that you follow that up with then what would happen. For example. what happens if I allow myself to fall in love. Answer I might get my heart broken. And if you did? I would hurt. And if you hurt? I would cry. And after you cried? And so on, and so on. It sounds simple and it is. It is just that we forget that the worst moments of our lives are moments.

Cym, getting knocked down does not matter nearly so much as how you get up. It sounds like your getting up in grand fashion.

I hope I did not but in too much here.

 

[cymbidia]

Your insights are well-intentioned, alltherage, how can they be "butting in"? I thank you for the good sense you offered, and the kindess that prompted them. Your "wrst expectation questions" do, indeed make sense.

Background: For many months, my realtionship with MS was played out at Lit in a very public manner. We were open here, me mostly because he rarely posted - but people knew us, knew him through me - and knew all about our kinks and experimentations. They knew about our plans, our hopes and our dreams.

So when it all fell apart at the last second, people here had a right to know that, too, since they had been along for the rest of the ride.

Now, today, i have a slight hope (well, when i care about anyone but myself and my pain) that if i can remain open about the healing, it, too, will be of some benefit to someone somewhere along the way.

The circle of life.

(Shut the fuck up with the Cymba comments, too, Siren!)



Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.


When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

 

[LukkyKnight]

For example. what happens if I allow myself to fall in love. Answer I might get my heart broken. And if you did? I would hurt. And if you hurt? I would cry. And after you cried? And so on, and so on. It sounds simple and it is. It is just that we forget that the worst moments of our lives are moments.

Hurting bites.
Aching in your chest, feeling the hole, unable to make the wound heal... bites.
Losing your faith in the powerful force which united two souls bites.
Feeling constrained to structure your grieving, being unable to give in and admit you hurt right NOW... bites.
Fear bites.
Isolation bites.

Broken hearts hurt right through to the core of your soul.

It is valid to hurt, to cry, to grieve, to tremble, to thrash, to withdraw, to cower, to hide, to wonder, to bleed.

It is good, later, to return to the light when ready. To share a drink, or a laugh, with friends old or new, is to participate again in your life. To watch a child at play in a park, to hold a door, to embrace... in due time, these allow us to knit the wound. The scar remains, cym, but nobody else thinks less of you for it.

 

[PowerOfOne]

Now LukkyKnight, I would think of you as the heartbreaker not the heartbreakee....

Cym, it does get better with time. We learn and we grow and when it is our time for the "right one", all of the pain and grief was getting us ready to appreciate the real thing when we find it. *big hugs*

 

[LukkyKnight]

yin and yang

Your sorrow is your joy unmasked.

And the selfsame well which your tears try to fill oftentimes echoed with your laughter.

And how else can it be?

Orginal poetry by Robert Frost:

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Goodnight, all.

 

[cymbidia]

Now LukkyKnight, I would think of you as the heartbreaker not the heartbreakee....

Everyone ends up on both sides of this equation a time or two, don't they? At various times in our lives we're the one who breaks a heart... and then, maybe, the one who has their heart broken? We just keep on going and learn the lessons as they come to us.

Yin and yang, as Lukky says... or karma, instant variety. Or maybe it's all just random chance. Who knows? There's no way out but right through the middle of the worst of it, though, that's for sure.

 

[Rhys]

at the risk of sounding trite...

Originally posted by LukkyKnight Hurting bites.
Aching in your chest, feeling the hole, unable to make the wound heal... bites.
Losing your faith in the powerful force which united two souls bites.
Feeling constrained to structure your grieving, being unable to give in and admit you hurt right NOW... bites.
Fear bites.
Isolation bites.

I think I've spent too much time on the Lit posters theme music thread

Seriously though, I am reminded of a Def Leppard song called
Love Bites...
" do you tell lies
and say that its forever
do you think twice
or is it touch and see?
I don't want to touch you too much, baby
'cause making love to you might drive me crazy"

>>self critical mode on<<<
shut the fuck up Rhys and go have another drink
<<self critical mode off>>>

hang in there cym...

 

[cymbidia]

Re: at the risk of sounding trite...

>>self critical mode on<<<
shut the fuck up Rhys and go have another drink
<<self critical mode off>>>

hang in there cym... [/B]

I can do nothing but hang in there, Rhys... and thank you.

Why the self-criticism?
To my mind, it was a totally unnecessary a response to your genuinely sensitive and caring adition to this thread. Have some faith in yourself and your words. We do.