Oh my god...

[Sixth]

I’m watching Estonian TV. I’m not doing my Java assignment that needs to be handed in on Monday. I’m watching Estonian TV.

Why? What’s going on? Is the Earth about to explode? The Earth might explode, I’m not sure I’d notice, I’m watching Estonian TV.

It’s the Eurovision Song contest. Never heard of it? No, of course not, you’re a Yank. It’s a strange idea; Europe brought closer together with an annual song contest. It’s a terrible mockery of diplomatic progress though since each other country votes for the other country’s songs in the contest and everyone votes for their friends and never votes for their enemies. For example, Greece never ever votes for Turkey.

The first song’s started… an entry from Cyprus … ack … help … boy band singing in, er, Cypriot and awful English.







You know the sad thing. I’ll watch all three-dozen entries and probably fail to hand my Java in on time.

Estonian TV seems to be a lot like any other country’s TV. I would like to take this opportunity to point out that there’s no such thing as the “Western Hemisphere.”

Thank you.

 

[Sixth]

So. Four songs in.
Austria's the best, Greece is the worst and the UK's entry was so uneventiful I barely noticed it.


What's this? You don't care? You're not a victim of the Eurovision nightmare? Never fear. I'll keep a running commentary and score double points if I can destroy the last trace of your sanity.

 

[bluespoke]

What's this? You don't care? You're not a victim of the Eurovision nightmare? Never fear. I'll keep a running commentary and score double points if I can destroy the last trace of your sanity.

For goodness sake! I'm on the internet to avoid the fucking show!

 

[Sixth]

... then you're missing Croatia's entry.

Look at her!



(She sings too - so I'm told).

 

[Sixth]

Stop laughing at the Russian entry (they're in Europe, you know) it's actually pretty good.

Favourites so far:
1) Russia
2) Croatia
3) Austria

 

[Sixth]

Ooh. Ooh.

Estonia's entry is supposed to be a favourite but it's a bit luke warm. Also, they're cheating, the singer's Swedish.

However. I think you should take a look and imagine her in her come hither white costume.




You dirty, dirty, dirty man.

 

[Sixth]

My god. They're all cheating. It's supposed to be about awful Euro-trash musicak! Not about finding the best saucy wench.

Once you swallow the mouthful that is the country now known as the The Former Yugoslavian Republic of Macedonia check out this picture...

 

[red_rose]

I think you should develop an alter-ego on Lit so that you have someone to converse with.

 

[bluespoke]

My god. They're all cheating. It's supposed to be about awful Euro-trash musicak! Not about finding the best saucy wench.

Once you swallow the mouthful that is the country now known as the The Former Yugoslavian Republic of Macedonia check out this picture...

This paper you are suposed to be handing in is towards a degree in terminal sadness? Or are you just naturally that way?

 

[Sixth]

I think you should develop an alter-ego on Lit so that you have someone to converse with.

Actually, there's only you and me here. You've been taken in by a cunning trick.



(p.s. The least said about the Israel entry the better)

 

[Sixth]

This paper you are suposed to be handing in is towards a degree in terminal sadness? Or are you just naturally that way?

Yes, an Honours Degree in Sadness.
I actually have to work very hard to be so sad. Thanks.

 

[woodgie2]

Look, HOW DARE you knock Eurovision!

It's Brilliant! Or is that the wine speaking? Can you get Terry Wogan's commentyr, he does it for the UK and he's SO SO funny. Taking the piss so subtly, and sometimes not so...

Enjoy, my friend

 

[red_rose]

Actually, there's only you and me here. You've been taken in by a cunning trick.



(p.s. The least said about the Israel entry the better)

I just felt the need to break up your continual postings to yourself.

Ah, but bluespoke is here now... You kids play nice.

 

[Sixth]

They found someone in Switzerland who's willing to have a go at singing. Guess what, they've gone for the "Shit, we can't find a singer, find someone who's dead hot!"

And yes, Terry Wogan makes the experience just that much more surreal.

 

[Cheyenne]

I nominate this for the worst poll at lit this week.

I still don't know who Jessica is or why I should care if she is a Mormon or not.

 

[Sixth]

I nominate this for the worst poll at lit this week.

I still don't know who Jessica is or why I should care if she is a Mormon or not.

Gosh. I'll take your comment on board with as much respect as it deserves.

 

[Guest]

Go, Terry. Go!

 

[Sixth]

I've discovered that the Finnish singer was the voice for Meg in Disney's _Hercules_. Did you like Meg? Well. Here's your chance to reflect on that cartoon crush.





(*snicker*)

 

[red_rose]

I nominate this for the worst poll at lit this week.

I still don't know who Jessica is or why I should care if she is a Mormon or not.

Apparently 100% of people who have voted on this poll feel the same, Chey.

 

[woodgie2]

Aaaaaah, so what if the Estonians cheat with a Swede, both the French and the Swiss fielded Celene Dion...

...did them no good either.

 

[Olivianna]

(p.s. The least said about the Israel entry the better)

Israel isn't in Europe, dumby.

 

[Sixth]

Israel isn't in Europe, dumby.

But they want to be. The application for admission to the EU is a good few years old now. Thankfully singing isn't a qualification issue.

 

[woodgie2]

Israel isn't in Europe, dumby.

It's not to do with the EU, it's the "anything west of the urals" type of Europe...

 

[someplace]

Terry Wogan is the best thing about Eurovision. That Irishman has NO SHAME! He's so funny! I wonder if BBC will get around to showing it in the USA?

 

[woodgie2]

Terry Wogan is the best thing about Eurovision. That Irishman has NO SHAME! He's so funny! I wonder if BBC will get around to showing it in the USA?

I love it when he's been at the whiskey...