Office mates

[jinnysub]

OOC...A closed thread for jinny and Sienna

Sandy -- 40-ish, entire life a traditional role of fitting into her marriage, parenthood, job, everything around her...roles defined by others, in terms of her relationship to others.

Sienna will define her character herself...

A few weeks after Sandy's company finally had provided desktop internet access to its employees, Sandy was lost. Everyone else, it seemed, knew how to access whatever they wanted -- shopping, vacation travel, information, medical and relationship advice, and even a few things they needed for their jobs.

She hadn't a clue.

 

[Sienna]

Carole...early 20's....office temp covering for some of the staff due to over-booked vacations

Carole

I looked across the busy office from my work area. I had noticed her having problems all morning and was quietly watching. I did not know her name because I was still new around the place.

I threw my reports into a folder and walked over to the out basket to drop it in for the post boy to deliver to whoever Mister Langston was. Then I walked towards her at her work area.

"Damn!" she retorted. I watched as she struggled with the keyboard. She thumped the desk in frustration and looked up at me.

"Hi.......having problems?"

"You bet. I can't get these address things right." she replied.

I stood behind her, leaned on her chair and watched as she keyed in some internet address. I noticed instantly that she had put the wrong syntax into the address bar.

"You are new at this arn't you?" I asked. I detected that her sweet perfume was the very same brand as my sister uses. She wore it well and it suited her.

I put my hands on the keyboard, reaching around her shoulders and tapped in the correct address. The site she wanted burst into view. "Ay! You did it!....Thank you so much!"

"My pleasure. It's easy when you get the hang of it." I told her.

"Should have asked you earlier, I've been struggling all morning with this."

"I know.......I've been watching you."

 

[jinnysub]

Sandy

"You've been watching me? Sigh...then you probably think I'm a real ditz. This internet thing has me completely thrown for a loop. I used to be competent here...someone people came to for help. I could manage this office, my house, my life. Now, it's 'website this' and 'net that" and it just seems that every skill I ever had is worthless."

"Now, I don't even have a chance to talk to people anymore. Instead of going down to the break room for coffee, or spending a little time in the rest room, talking, everyone stays at their computers during breaks and lunch. There isn't a chance to communicate with anyone anymore!"

"What are they doing that is so riveting?"

 

[Sienna]

Carole.

"Well for one I think they are probably talking to each other using the internal network system." I said. She looked surprised.

"You mean I can talk to someone else in here over this?"

"Yeah!....anyone in the building and you can chat with others anywhere in the world if they subscribe to the PM systems." I continued. I could see that I was blowing her mind already with all this internet stuff.

"You know so much?"

"Oh I grew up with it really." I smiled at her. She was a very attractive lady and a lady she was compared to me. At a guess I would say she was almost the same age as my Mom, but I felt strangely drawn towards her. "I'm Carole by the way, Carole Smythe."

"You're not an american either." she replied with a gentle smile. "You're accent is very colonial.......british.....australian perhaps?"

"South Africa." I replied. "I have been here for four years."

 

[jinnysub]

"PM? Is that some kind of computer program? You're not talking about the Prime Minister, are you? Do you talk with your family back in South Africa with something like that? I imagine it could really help cut down phone bills!"

"It does cut down on phone bills immensely," Carole said. "I just pay for my internet connection at home, which is less than I would pay for long distance charges on my phone in a normal month. I keep in touch with my mom, and with other people, too."

Sandy got a thoughtful look on her face. "My son in college keeps telling me that I need a computer at home. I wonder if I should get one to talk to him, and email him. I like writing letters, old-fashioned stamp and envelope letters, and he's pretty good about communicating with me, but that sounds like a wonderful way to keep in touch."

"He's pretty much my only family. My husband left me last year after 20 years of marriage. But...I guess that's not something you really want to hear about."

"Carole, I wonder. Would you be willing to give me a few lessons after work sometime? I don't want to get you in trouble here at work by having you show me how to do personal things like talk to my son, but I'd like to know a little bit more about this. I'd like to see whether it would be worthwhile to get a computer of my own."

 

[Sienna]

Carole

"Of course, Sandy. You can come round to my place this evening. I'm not doing anything important."

Sandy agreed. She was divorced, so that meant that she was no longer attached to any husband or partner perhaps. No love ties whatsoever gave me some ideas about her. I gave her my address and explained a few directions. My small apartment was not the easiest place to find down town.

LATER THAT EVENING

I watched the sun going down across the city skyline from my apartment window and waited for Sandy. She was a few minutes late but one expected that because of my location being so difficult and the elevator may have busted again.

The door bell rang and I answered it. There she was, Sandy looking decidedly......delicious in her outfit. It was very young in style but, she suited it and it made her look so sexy. I offered her inside and made her comfortable. She accepted the red wine I kept in its gallons in the fridge and we sat talking for a while about computers and the internet.

I was so surprised by the way she looked at me. I wore a very tight mini skirt and she looked at me like most men and some very special girl friends do.

"Carole, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." I replied. She had a kind of curious grin on her face but seemed hesitant in asking her question.

"Do you often go around not wearing panties?"

She noticed obviously. I smiled. "Well, sometimes while I'm at home." The question was not really a concerned one. The type you expect from your Mom for instance. She came over and sat beside me very close.

 

[jinnysub]

Sandy

My brother used to always say that being a teenager, and male, in the mid-sixties was a wonderful time. Miniskirts and tight sweaters. Legal peeping Toms, he called himself and his friends. I hated him for saying it, because I knew his friends never looked at me like that -- never being allowed to wear a skirt 'above my fingertips with my arms hanging straight.' I swear I had the longest arms in town.

Looking at Carole, however, I could begin to understand Jon's thoughts about miniskirts. I found myself peeking a bit while Carole and I were talking and drinking wine, trying to be secretive, as much as possible, anyhow. I hope I was being less obvious than most men were in looking at me, though, when there used to be men who looked at me.

Omigod. No...check again...no panty lines. No stockings. Sandy...close your mouth and quit looking like someone just struck by a train.



"Carole, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." I replied. She had a kind of curious grin on her face but seemed hesitant in asking her question.

"Do you often go around not wearing panties?"


Feelings. Mixed feelings. Stirrings, warmth. Shame and something more. Desire? Yes.

No...

I found myself, in spite of myself, moving over to Carole on the couch. Somehow, I felt like I was 13 years old again, feeling that I wanted something, but not knowing exactly what I wanted, nor knowing how to achieve my desires...desires I couldn't define or even acknowledge.

"Uh...where's your computer?"

 

[Sienna]

Carole.

Sandy whispers in my ear...."Where's your computer?"

I reach under the low table and produce a lap top. "This is one of them.......the other is a PC, like we have in the office. I keep that in the bedroom."

"I saw these things before." Sandy replied. "Amazes me how you get a flat screen to act like a tv screen?" I shown her how it worked and explained that as small as it was, it did exactly the same as a PC.

"Is that you?" She saw my image on the screen-saver. Me completely topless, posing and smiling at the viewer.

"Yes.....you surprised?"

"A little.....maybe more than a little......"

 

[jinnysub]

Sandy

"Carole. You're a beautiful woman. So beautiful."

"How do you get a picture like that? Do you process your own film? I always thought that film developers didn't return pictures like that."

Carole giggled. "No! Haven't you heard of digital cameras? There's no developing! You just take a picture and then download it into your computer. You can share it with others over the net, as part of an email or by sharing a file with a personal messenger program. It's easy. Look, would you like to see how it's done?"

Carole went to her bedroom and got her digital camera, turned it on, and gave it to Sandy. "Here, this is the zoom button, and then when you get the picture framed as you want it, just push that button there, just like on a regular camera. When you take the picture, it loads onto the floppy disk in the camera, and we can just pop it into the computer."

I picked up the camera, and aimed it at Carole, who struck a pose with her hips thrust forward and her chest to a bit to the side. I took a few more pictures as Carole mugged, a bit comically but also suggestively, for the camera.

Carole popped out the disk, slipped it into the laptop, and opened the file. "Nice composition, Sandy! Is photography a hobby of yours?"

"It used to be. When the children were younger, I took a couple community education classes on photography so that I could have better pictures to remember them by."

"Sandy, have you ever thought about taking pictures of a woman's body, nude? My body? I think I'd like some pictures taken by you. You're a natural photographer."

"Are you sure? No, I couldn't."

Thoughts are rushing through my head. Fleeting memories of dares at teen slumber parties. Glimpses up Carole's skirt. Long nights alone and fantasies that gave me warmth and excitement.


I knew my face was flushed. I looked down at my blouse and could see that my chest was rosy, probably down lower than I could even see. I was feeling that wonderful, uncomfortable feeling where my nipples touched the fabric of my bra and where my panties were starting to dampen. I shifted my hips a bit to find a more comfortable stance and Carole looked at my skirt and smiled.

"Carole, I think I'd better go."

 

[Sienna]

Carole

"No Sandy, please...you don't have to go." I told her. "Besides I was going to show you how to work the internet and stuff."

"No I think I should leave this for another time."

I noticed she was getting frustrated. I could sense it. It was not embarrassment, but frustration of what she was feeling. You see, right from the start, that first moment I saw Sandy, I knew she was the same as me. That certain something which is so hard to explain.

"Please stay.....I know you really want to." I touched her on the arm and she reacted by placing her hand on mine, smiling. I loved her smile, so gentle, so comforting. I moved closer and wrapped my arms around her and we hugged so tightly.

"Carole.....you know that I have come here not only to learn something about the internet.....but to really get to know you."

"Yes." I looked at her, stared into her eyes. "I need to get to know you too Sandy." I replied. Then it happened. The ice began to melt, that uncertainty barrier began to fall apart. We drew closer slowly and our lips met. A quick but simple kiss for both our reassurances and then the long lingering meaningful kiss that sealed our discovered feelings for each other.

 

[jinnysub]

Two kisses. Two kisses can change a life.

One, like a mother and a daughter. The second as lovers.

This was...right. No other word could explain it. Just...right.

I stepped back from Carole, looking at her as if for the first time. This beautiful girl. No...that was part of my problem, she was no girl, although she was the age of my son, she was a woman. A very beautiful, desirable woman. And she desired me. And it had been so long...

My heart was a triphammer. "Carole. Do you know what you're doing? Because I certainly don't. This is new, oh, so new, for me. I came here to get to know you, and I'll be honest that I was attracted to you deeply, but I don't know what has happened."

"I'm not accustomed to talking to someone about things like this. I...I...Carole, what is happening?"

 

[Sienna]

Carole

I took her hand in my hands and lifted it to my lips. I kissed her fingers gently and noticed the band of gold. Then wondered...Was I the first woman she had dared to kiss that way? Or even the first woman she had gotten so close to?

She looked at me. Of course, by her questioning she was bewildered. That frustration of how to handle something like this.

I was experienced. Today the things we did were more acceptable than they were twenty years ago. I had savoured the forbidden fruits of both sexes and sometimes both at the same time. She was frustrated because of her fantasies. Fantasies I was free to live now and then and make into reality.

I smiled at her and watched her eyes, wide and excited as much as mine and took in her beauty, that absolute and definitive look that said everything about how she was feeling. I was hoping that she would show me so much of what experiences she had, but it was I who had taken that first step with someone who was yet to gain that experience. It was I who had to make this happen for her. Show her what it was like to make love to another woman. A role that I had always fallen into by accident or lead into by someone else. I was by nature submissive to my sexuality and now it seemed I had to be dominant.

I lead her, holding her hand towards my bedroom. Once inside I sat her on the bed and stood before her. I removed my clothing apart from my skirt and she watched intently. I could feel her eyes taking in the form and shape of my breasts....her eyes feeling with her eyes my body.

 

[jinnysub]

I knew the instant she took my hands where she would lead me. My mind, disconnected, was telling me this was my last chance to stop her, leave, and do the smart thing. My mind, disconnected, was showing me images of times I'd disparaged this type of thing. My legs were listening not to my mind, but to something much more basic, more visceral.

I followed, in a daze, and sat down on the bed as bidden. And looked. 7 elliptical buttons on her blouse, the third one down giving her trouble and requiring her to take her eyes from me to deal with it. I focused on her long fingers as she unbuttoned each one. My brain began feeding me images again. Unbuttoning my son's shirt when he was two. John, unbuttoning his pajama tops on his way to the bathroom in the morning. John, unbuttoning my blouse on a day, on many days, when I wanted anything but to be undressed.

She reached behind her and unhooked her bra, a lacy, filmy thing that hid not at all the fact that her nipples were tight, engorged. As she shrugged out of it and let it slip to the floor, I followed it with my eyes to where it lay on her blouse and fought back a mother's admonition to tell her to pick up her clothes. I caught my laugh at that thought before it escaped, but couldn't stop the smile that momentarily crossed my face.

John had often accused me of being five miles away during our lovemaking. He was often right, for too often my mind couldn't focus on what was happening in bed to the exclusion of everything else. The unwashed dishes. Jason's TV in his bedroom. Tomorrow's menu. John's comments about my belly looking less flat than it used to. The smell of cigarette smoke on him -- where did he get that today?

Tonight my mind was playing much the same tricks. Clothes on the floor. Bali, the brand of her bra, brought the words of the song from "South Pacific" to me. Flowers. What kind of flowers were those lacy flowers meant to be? Some sort of daisy, but the proportions were wrong. Those simple little pumps she was taking off, where did she get them? I've got to ask. The red tracks on the skin of her foot where parts of the shoe had pressed.

As she stood there, feet now slightly apart and pointing out, like an elf's, I thought, my eyes traveled up her body. The short skirt. Fleeting images of her on the couch again, private skin that she had meant me to see. I remembered seeing skin, not hair, and I wondered if she shaved there or was naturally sparse. My stolen glimpses had been too fleeting to determine. That thought brought, again, a flush to my face, a flush of shame, shame mingled with desire. The flat belly, a belly that had never known childbirth, a belly that beckoned me.

Her breasts, too, had never known childbirth. The areolae were still small and light colored, the nipples taut and protruding but not the nipples of a mother who has nursed. Not nursed a baby, anyway, as the thought of who had sucked at them burst into my mind. Again, a flush, as I imagined taking those nipples into my mouth, not for sustenance, but for her -- our -- pleasure.

My hands rose to my blouse. I fumbled with the button, but they were shaking so that I couldn't manage it. Ashamed, I made as if I had just tried to arrange my clothes rather than remove them, looked down, dropped my hands into my lap, and thought to protest. Or just run.

As I looked at the floor, her bare feet were there, and I felt a hand on my face, cupping my cheek. So tender. So soft. As I raised my head to her, her hands moved to my blouse and began unbuttoning the top button. I leaned into her, lifting my arms to encircle her, brushing the side of her right breast as I put my hands behind her. I stood.

I noticed how tall she was, almost as tall as John. My head fit just at the upper swell of her breast. Funny thoughts again. No wiry hair there. No sense of underlying muscle. Rather softness and the scent of bath oil. A hint of cologne, but not at her neck.

 

[Sienna]

Carole.

I held her close to me. Closing my eyes I thought of her in a different way....strange. The thoughts of my own mother came streaming into my head. What would she say if she knew what I was doing with a woman of her age?

"Sandy, I know your nervous about this." I whispered. I could not only sense it in her manner but I could feel her trembling at the awkwardness of it. "If I am taking this somewhere you don't want me to, then we can stop." I waited for her reply. I could feel her sobbing. She was crying. My only instinct was to hold her tighter. That only made me cry too.

I looked at her, reached for tissues for both of us and we stood in tears that turned quickly into laughter.

"Maybe we should leave this for another time." she said. I had to somehow agree. This was far too sudden, far too quick. What was I thinking about?

"Sandy, can we make arrangements for another time? Perhaps we should talk? Or....or...."

"I think we should do something." she said with a gentle smile.

I looked down and folded my arms. "I don't know what you must think of me......I'm sorry for putting you through this."

"Carole, it isn't something you should be sorry for. I don't think that either of us is ready for this yet." She laughed and thought up her next comment. "It's a bit like making love on your first date.....is that proper?" I laughed with her, realising what she was saying, what she meant.

 

[jinnysub]

"Just excuse me for a minute, please?"

I went into the bathroom, used the facilities and cleaned up a bit. Washed my face, took off my wet panties and stuffed them in my purse, thinking I should have had some liners in my purse, I always do, "for accidents" but not today. I looked at myself in the mirror, trying to imagine how I looked to Carole, touching my face, my breasts, pressing down on my tummy as if to flatten it. The thought of how many times I had done just the same thing when young, while out on dates, made me laught softly to myself. I summoned my "friendly, meet the customer, business-like face," smiled at myself, and opened the door.

"Let's get your computer out and do what I originally came here for, ok? Show me how you use that chat program to talk to people all over the world."

As we went over to the computer, I wondered if she'd caught my implication. That this could be considered, was, a date. That there could be another one. I felt like a schoolgirl with her newfound feelings of awe at how her body responded to boys. Awe, and fear, because, while this wasn't the first time that I had responded to the thought of a woman, it was the first time that I'd ever been comfortable enough to even let those thoughts rise to the conscious level.

But things were too new. How ironic -- a 43 year old woman feeling that she was out of her depth with sexual feelings! And with someone who must be all of 22!

 

[Sienna]

Carole

I was surprised that Sandy wanted to stay and continue with our original reasons for me inviting her to my apartment. Atleast we had warmed closer to each other and showing her some of the internet vices I had, made us both enjoy ourselves in a fun way.

I poured more of the wine into her glass. Watched her face as she gazed at the screen. "I don't believe that." she said.

Three people interacting in a private room. I had introduced her to the adult sex chatroom and the three names on the screen were cybering. I could see that she was getting a little excited as well as shocked. She turned to me grinning. "Do you do this?" I nodded my reply, unable to keep my eyes from her, checking her out.

"What do you think?" I asked. "Does it make you feel horny watching them?" I put my hand onto her knee. She looked down and I moved it further upwards under her skirt. "Well, does it?"

"Yes. It's not like watching a video or anything visual....but...."

Sandy sat back into her chair and licked her lips. I took the glass of wine from her and placed it on the table. My other hand moved further still and she opened her thighs allowing me to feel the smooth skin above her stockings. "Do you like that?" I asked her.

"Yes, its nice. But...I..." I silenced her gently by putting my fingers over her lips. She looked at me deeply, her pupils widening. My fingers felt a kind of dampness as I went even further, slowly.....slowly....."Don't say anything...no need."

 

[jinnysub]

Her fingers on my lips stopped me from protesting further...stopped me from protesting that which I no longer wanted to stop. I gave in to the feelings, but my mind didn't stop its incessant sidetrips.

I found myself giggling, giggling uncontrollably, thinking that fingers on one set of lips was stopping me while fingers exploring another set of lips was starting me on a slide into...

Carole's fingers in my pussy withdrew at my laughter but my hips tried to follow of their own accord, scootching forward on the chair, trying to maintain contact with the pleasure those fingers gave,.

I found myself on the floor, the chair falling to the side and Carole falling heavily onto me.

I looked at Carole's shocked face, wondering what my face was telling her at the moment.

And then burst out laughing.

As did Carole, and we sat with our arms around each other, laughing, sobbing, and holding each other until we each finally calmed down and caught our breath.

"Now I know I feel like a 14 year old, Carole. And I like it!" giving her a friendly hug, "I like it very much."

 

[Sienna]

Carole.

My move was a slight mischevious I thought to myself as we lay on the floor together in each others arms. She said that I made her feel like a teenager again. That trick was certainly something I had often played in the dorm of my old boarding school in Durban. But those games often went further. This was not for the time being.

The wine had made us feel merry, but not foolish enough to break any restrictions we had both laid down. Sandy I respected, not because she was older, but also because she was beautiful and wise.

We agreed that she would purchase a laptop and I would teach her how to use it. She was certainly interested in the "dark side" of the internet and yearned to explore it more thoroughly.

Sandy was about to become a new person, meeting new challenges in her life.........strange things were in store for her to explore and I would be her guide.

 

[jinnysub]

Home.

Resolved: Buy a laptop computer and whatever I need to connect to the internet.

Further resolved: Think about these feelings. Think about Carole.

As I lay in bed, completely exhausted, and behind just a bit bruised, images of the day kept flying through my mind. Visual images of folds of skin beneath Carole's skirt, her standing in front of me taking off her blouse, then her bra. The skin just below her shoulder when she held me close.

But so much more than visual. Scents, the flowery scent of the perfume that seemed to have been splashed just a bit lower than her breasts, the aroma of the wonderful wine she served, and the musky smell of her sex when she fell into me on the floor. The sounds of laughter, of light conversation as well as throaty, emotion-charged words. The little computer sounds when personal messages arrived for us when we were trying out the chat programs.

And words. I couldn't get over the ... well... lust that I felt as we listened in on the two women and the man who were chatting. Somehow, seeing emotions and actions and sensations being spelled out on a computer screen was so much more tantalizing than I could ever have imagined. I had heard of cybersex, to be sure, but had pooh-poohed it as something that I just couldn't understand, therefore discounted. I remembered how stirred I was by one of the women describing the smell, the taste, of her fingers while she was masturbating.

I began imagining how I would describe my sensations, my emotions, in words. And as I began imagining, I again began to feel the stirrings in my body. My left hand found my nipples already engorged, aching for further contact, My right hand found my belly, and being scribing circles just as the man in chat told of how he would stroke one of the women. Each circle found my fingers a little closer to the hairline on my mound, and as I touched the first hairs, the circles receded again, away from my center, teasingly starting their slow journey downward again. Just so did the man in chat tease his virtual lover.

My left hand was no longer stroking my nipples, but pinching them, rolling and pulling them almost to the point of pain, but well within the realms of pleasure.

No longer did my right hand scribe circles on my belly, but now the heel of my hand was ground into my mons, pulling the skin of my lips upward but not yet touching. Then the heel of my hand was not all that touched me, the fingers were exploring, exploring my clitoris, the creases between thighs and outer lips, the creases between outer and inner lips, the teasing now centered on when the final crease would be breached.

The visual, tactile image then of Carole's fingers in that final breach came to my mind and my fingers found the same places hers did, only not briefly. Left hand now working my clit, my fingers on my right hand probed until they thrust in time with the spasms of my orgasm. But the fantasy did not own that they were my fingers, but Carole's, and that Carole's fingers were heightening each spasm, probing deeper as muscles clenched and then relaxing in time with mine, until the next, lesser spasm again arose. And it was Carole's fingers that stayed in me, with me, in the afterglow.

I don't know how long I lay there with fingers deep within me, but again remembrance of that afternoon's virtual voyeurism came to me, and I slowly brought my right hand near my nose, taking my index finger into my mouth.

Thinking, registering how I could put the scent of me, the taste of me, into words when I had my own computer.

And thinking of that day brought the fingers of my left hand, already in place over my sex, back into play.

 

[jinnysub]

Sandy

The very next day, Saturday, I went out and bought a laptop and stopped in at the cable TV outlet and got all I needed (she said) for installing a cable connection to the computer.

I called Carole and asked if she would like to come over late on Sunday afternoon and help me get set up. I promised I'd feed her supper as part of the deal.

Her acceptance sent a chill through my body, and sent me shopping for tomorrow's menu.

I found some wonderful Romaine lettuce and fresh spinach for the salad, intending to make my own vinaigrette dressing. Near the lettuce, I noticed fresh asparagus spears and chose them for the vegetable.

Main course? Steaks? No, I'd do the red meat if it were a man I was inviting, but it didn't seem right. Pork? No. Nor chicken nor seafood. Mundane. I wanted something special. I'd visit the meat market, my ace in the hole for dinner parties. So few people went there anymore except for buying in bulk that every time I went there, the couple who owned it (he did the meat cutting, she sales) treated me almost as royalty.

When the bell rang as I entered, Fae appeared from somewhere in the back. "What would you suggest for a dinner party for two?" I asked her. "Something out of the ordinary."

She thought. "How about duck breasts? We just got in a couple dozen ducks from the farmer who usually supplies us with lamb. We don't usually sell much duck except by special order, so we usually freeze it for our own use when our supplier brings them in. We accept them from him mainly because it's a good way to keep our supply of lamb."

I had a recipe for wild duck breasts on the grill that my ex used to love, and the timing just seemed right.

Wild rice would round out the menu. WILD rice, not the paddy-grown stuff from California, but the real wild rice from the Native American reservations in Minnesota.

A merlot for the wine. Simple crackers and cheese for an appetizer.

After marinating the duck breasts overnight, Sunday afternoon came quickly. House cleaned. All the little things done so that even my mother couldn't find any reason to make me feel guilty had she been there (at least, nothing she could make me feel guilty about in terms of my housekeeping -- the reasons for it would have given her a great deal to try to make me feel guilty!).

5 pm. One last sweep through the house to make sure everything was right. Everything in place for the meal, grill lit, greens washed and ready, dressing newly mixed, and rice ready for the fire to be lit. New roll of toilet paper in the john and a little scent between my breasts. And then a little extra swipe of scent through my hair. And, feeling quite adventurous, another swipe through the hair low on my belly.

Her car pulled into the driveway and all my aplomb vanished.

The 14 year old reappeared as I opened the door.

 

[Sienna]

Carole

It was a sunny afternoon which made the day even better. I loved the sunshine and always did. One gets used to a lot of it in South Africa, where I grew up.

Sandy greeted me with a wonderful bright smile. My rose colored shades and the bunch of roses I handed to her shown just how I was feeling......happy and pleased to see her again.

Inside she had laid out a table for two. Dinner was obviously on the agenda for the afternnon. We kissed, gentle at first and then deeper. I loved the way she kissed. So full of meaning and passion.

"I didn't know if you liked roses?" I said. She took the roses and I followed her into the kitchen, looking around. I watched her put them in a vase and set them all neat and even.

The house had remnants of passed children and a husband. It was a family home, dormant as if settling into the peace and quiet of her new life, her status. I was bold and stood behind her, resting my head upon her shoulders and wrapping my arms around her in a gentle hug. I could smell the dinner cooking and suddenly I was reminded of home and my Mom.

"I love you" I whispered softly. I would have automatically done the same to Mom. Funny how things come back to you in certain environments......but here?? Strange.

 

[jinnysub]

Sandy

"I love you."

I heard those words and realized how few times I had heard them from someone in my life. My feelings were turning inside out as I stood there holding Carole. Involuntarily, I shivered, and to cover up the awkwardness, "remembered" the asparagus.

"Oh, I don't want the asparagus to be limp!"

We moved to the kitchen; I asked Carole to take the duck breasts from the warming pan to the table and to pour some wine. I busied myself with the rice and asparagus and we sat down to eat.

I worried. I worried if the asparagus was overdone. I worried that Carole might not even like duck. I wondered, and, of course, worried, that wild rice was something she may never have had in South Africa and whether she was going to acquire a taste for it. And...I worried about my feelings, and Carole's. She had said that word, that word that so shook me.

It shook me because I wasn't sure if I was ready for either the joy or the heartache of love. It shook me because it made me re-evaluate my feelings for Carole, too. I'd never experienced "casual sex." I didn't think it was a possibility. I had been contemplating it the past few days, but deep in my heart I knew that only my mind had been considering "casual sex." My heart, and my body, were involved in the beginning of a relationship.

And so many things about this relationship were uncharted waters. Carole's age. Carole's sex. What Carole meant by that word -- that word "love."

I looked across the table at her and I knew that she was holding my heart, my mind, and my body. This young woman had only to ask and she would receive whatever she wished.

 

[Sienna]

Carole

It was so good to be invited to dinner in someone elses home and no better person could it be than Sandy.

Since settling here, I soon split from my parents who became so very unhappy. The US was not as they expected and now I am here without them. My life is settled, but I miss all those homely comforts. My life is now one job after another, one relationship after another and fast food. I was a really lousey cook.

The meal was more than excellant. I watched Sandy admiring the roses set in the centre of the table. I told her how much I enjoyed everything so far. Then I asked about the equipment she had purchased.

"I got everything you mentioned." She said. "I even tried surfing and found some really interesting bargains." I sat, mesmerised by her and just grinned listening to her talk. That in itself was so sexy, the gentle soothing voice, now with more enthusiasm and less scepticism towards myself and what we planned to do.

"Was everything really OK?" she asked. I nodded my reply and reached over the table taking her hand. We both smiled and for a moment dived into each others eyes. I wanted her so much.

 

[jinnysub]

"Carole," I whispered, my voice shaking with emotion, "I need to talk with you. Talk without you touching me, holding me. Please?"

We moved to opposite sides of the table and sat down. I couldn't look her in the eyes, I couldn't even bear to look at her. I was so scared of what she might think of me, what she might say, but I had to tell her how I was feeling.

My hands were shaking, so I held them together in my lap, out of sight. "Carole. I haven't felt this lost and out of control of my life in 30 years." When Carole began to make soft protests, I shushed her. "Carole. Please. I don't know how to say what I'm trying to say, and if I stop, I might not be able to say this again."

"I've been without someone to care about me for so long. I've been without someone to care about, too. When you said 'I love you' my heart almost jumped through my mouth. Because I think that's what I'm feeling for you, too. But there's so many things about you...no, about US...that are boiling in me. Just because of who I am, where and when I was born and raised. My history."

"Love between women, Carole. Friendship love is one thing."

I raised my eyes to hers, hesitantly but hopefully. I whispered, "I think I want more than that. My body knew that the other day. I think I know that now. No, I KNOW that now. I want your love. I want to be your friend. If you want, I'd like to be more. But, more than anything, I need your heart."

"I need to know what you want from me. What you need. My body is calling out for yours, and if you just say the word, I'd love to have you show me what that love can be like. That knowledge isn't something that I have in my past. But I just can't give that part of me without my heart, too."

"If you find me unattractive. If you don't want me as a lover, I can deal with that. I can give my heart to you as a friend. I AM giving you my heart."

Whispering again, "Do you want me?"

 

[Sienna]

Carole

"Do you want me?"

Those words. They seemed to just wizz around my head repeatedly. Did I want her?. Of course I wanted her. But then the rest of what she said began to sink in too. My words to her earlier:

"I love you"...........

Did I really mean them to suggest what they did? I wasn't sure. Or was I? They were said because my mind drifted back to a time I used to say it to my own mother. Was that what I really meant?

My heart was pounding in my chest. I reached for the glass of wine and gulped on it. Then looked at her. Did I mean it?

I was feeling good about being with her. I respected her. I would do anything for her. Is that love? I have never really been in love that way before. I have never felt the way I did about anyone else before either. She was more important to me than the last dozen lovers. Lovers? They were not really lovers. Just close friends I shared my body with.

Is that it? Is that the feelings in me she is searching for? Do I love her? Oh yes......I love her. I would hope she felt the same for me?

"Sandy.........I want you so bad" I told her.