Thanks to AH

[AG31]

Every now and then I see a Rest in Peace post. Someone has died and others know about it. I'm 80 and in terrific health. I expect to see 100. But if I don't, no one will know to tell you all. So I'm composing this thank you, in hopes that, should I disappear from the scene for more than a few weeks, someone will notice and will bump this for all to see.

I might not be dead. More likely I'll have forgotten my username or password and the place where they're written down (!!!!)

My thanks

The AH forum here has provided me with the richest venue for stimulating conversation that I have ever encountered, and that includes the much vaunted late night gab fests in college. Part of it is that my own history provided me with a lot of questions that I cared about, but the essential part is that there are ALWAYS people ready to jump in and respond. The last 10 months have just been great. So a general thanks to all for that. Even (especially) to those strenuously opposed to what they think is my position. I love an intellectual tustle.

I came to the forum with lots of questions related to erotica, and, over time, I've gotten lots of answers. All my life I've gotten a lot of satisfaction from analysing ideas, putting the right words to experiences. So this is especially satisfying. Thanks to everyone.

Probably few, if any, of you will read this whole post, but I've gotten a lot of satisfaction out of organizing it all. Thanks, again, for providing such a forum.

What is my writing style?

Very shortly after I published my first story (Smashwords, here, every sub-Reddit that would take it), I got two bits of feedback that likened my writing to "classic French erotica." That was the phrase used by the person giving me positive feedback. The other one called my writing "old fashioned." I felt validated by both of them, since my model for erotica was Pauline Reage's The Story of O. But I spent a long time trying to articulate exactly what made something sound like "classic French erotica." I was stuck with articulating to myself the styles I didn't care for (naughty, giggling, smirking). I settled on "reserved" and "restrained" as pretty close to whatever was going on. It wasn't until quite recently that I felt like I'd gotten an answer. First was from @RainyDayPen, where she describes her own writing as "formal." She says she likes "solemnity." And then @ElectricBlue described my writing as "static" (in a good way - he said he liked it.) He said "You like a tableau, a freeze frame, it's quite static." Those were good enough for me. My question was answered.

I can't credit AH for my coming up with the idea of "simple erotica." Pretty early on I honed in on the fact that I liked, and wrote, stories that didn't distract from the eroticism with a focus on character or plot. But I can thank AH for talking with me about it until I realized I should replace "pure" with "simple."

What kind of erotica do I like to read and write?

Well, of course I know it when I see it. But how to describe it? This became a looming puzzle for me because I was introduced to erotica when The Story of O was the touch stone. My writing is very like that. I was very confused for a long time to find almost no stories currently that were like that. What was "that?" I started out with "a strong man willingly submits to sexual pain and/or humiliation." (Note - that the MC is male only became a thing for me in the last few years). Then it seemed that "surrender" was better than "submit." In my mind it left more room for a strictly individual experience, no relationship. (Note that in The Story we know almost nothing about O's lover or their life together). I was not interested in the modern interpretation of BDSM, where relationships are so important. I think that's where I was when I got active in AH last fall (fall of '23). I added "with dignity," as a positive way of expressing my distaste for things like "naughty" and "infantilization."

My latest, most ordinary language description from a Lit thread is: A good looking, self aware, self accepting man finds himself in the M side of an S&M situation. He might have chosen a sex club, or he might be a captive in some war situation, or... or... There is no relationship with another involved. I've lately decided that my male MCs are not involved with anyone because I want them for myself.

An an overarching theme. I like to read and write simple erotica. I don't want to be distracted by character development and plot

I would regularly be a little thrown by realizing that I really liked some story that did not meet one or more of my criteria. I recently hit on the fact that authenticity as I define it, can trump everything.

How broadly are my tastes shared?

It took many months of all kinds of back and forth in AH for me to settle with, "Hardly shared at all." I settled on a self-description of "rare bird." That's fine. Clarity is all. It's not the only trait I have that tends toward the unique end of a spectrum. I think the main quality that sets me apart is a focus on the individual surrender, apart from a relationship, almost in the abstract.

I'm a clarity junky, so I liked this comment by @Djmac1031, whether meant positively or negatively. "after reading one of your stories, I will say it's certainly a unique spin."

*****************
This message is 438 characters too long for a single post (they count spaces!!!), so it’s continued here.

 

[AG31]

What's the significance of my not wanting a focus on relationships in my stories?

I think there's a sort of philosophical/psychological layer that relatesto martyrdom, both religious and non-religious, but the simple answer is that I don't want the competition of another character. I don't want the distraction of a relationship. I want an unencumbered focus on my MC. Thanks, in particular, to @AwkwardlySet for this insight: "I am a straight guy, but more often than not, I don't need a man in a sex scene to be able to enjoy it. Women are all that interests me sexually and I don't even need the fantasy of me joining them in some way - I can simply enjoy their beauty and sexual appeal."

At a more hifalutin level, I feel that I'm dealing with "surrender so complete that the MCs interiority is overwhelmed by it. There is nothing else." The story would be damaged if there were distractions of plot and character.

What's the significance of my wanting only male MCs?

Up until about 3 years ago my fantasies were centered on the female POV. Usually sort-of-me, but not clearly. Then, in the wake of what I've come to understand was a hormone storm, they switched 180 degrees to the male POV. The hormone was probably testosterone, as the effect was many powerful erotic spasms that matched descriptions of prostate orgasms. Was this some sort of suppressed transgender impulse? I didn't find any hints of an answer until @AwkwardlySet gave me the most unexpected, but uncomplicated answer possible. See above. Aha! My libido had been turned up several notches, and I was experiencing the uber-vanilla attraction of a heterosexual female for male physicality. The kind more commonly associated with men for women, but, hey. Don't knock it, I say to myself.

Why this insistence on plot and character?

Very early in my late-life involvement with erotica I learned that stories without a focus on plot and character were disparaged. They were called "strokers." It had a denigrating, dismissive connotation that I didn't think should apply such stories. For a while I advocated for the term "pure erotica," to describe stories that focussed on eroticism without much plot or character, but with admirable attention to the writing. With the help of AH I settled on "simple erotica," for which I continue to advocate.

Lately I've decided that "the reader brings their own energy" to simple erotica. Also to plain old strokers.

Why do people write erotica?

I always knew that I was not an author. I had no desire to come up with new plots or characters. I was a recorder of fantasies. But how many other writers of erotica are also so focused? I really don't know the answer as it applies to the broader world of erotica, but it's really clear that AH is populated mostly by serious writers. I don't mean professional, necessarily, but by people who take pleasure in the act of writing. I've gotten a number of fascinating insights into that process.

I've always enjoyed editing, and analysis in general. I'm frequently amazed at people's ability to articulate what's good or bad or effective about a piece of writing. So this forum has been a delight.

Why do I have the impulse to publish my stories?

I write down my fantasies in part to preserve them, and in part to experience the fun of putting experiences into words. But why share? I get plenty of satisfaction from those acts alone. For instance, it doesn't particularly bother me to think that possibly no one will read this whole post. I'm looking for like-minded people. I'm hoping for feedback. And it's one of the main reasons I post on Literotica. I've stopped wondering why I want to find like-minded people. It seems like a fundamental human need.



A few questions to which I've gotten a partial answer

Why do I not regard rape as a special crime? and What does it feel like to want to have one's sex re-assigned?

With few exceptions most people replied in ways to scold me for even asking the question. A few attempted to actually answer it. But somewhere along the line I likened my feelings (or absence of feeling, to be more accurate), to the condition I have of not being able to create visual images in my mind. It's now called aphantasia, and last I heard (years ago), about 5% of the population has it in its severe form. It's a great example of how people can have vastly different internal brain experiences, and not even realize it. I didn't understand why "make a picture" as a memory aid never worked for me until I was in my twenties. With regard to the questions above, it dawned on me that some people may just have a part of the brain that is active in a way that mine is not. Call it, maybe, "gender sensitivity." If anyone knows about discussions along these lines, would you point me to them?

What is the relationship between religious experience and eroticism?
I've wondered as long as I can remember about this. I posted it here, not expecting much info, since religion is not as much of a thing as it used to be. I didn't really hear anything new. But I continue to think there are sharper answers lurking out there somewhere.

Edit: And there are! I finally got hold of Eroticism: Death and Sensuality, by Georges Bataille, recommended by @madelinemasoch. I do wish I had the intellectual energy I had in college!! I'm sure the answers to all my vague questions on this subject are addressed there, if only I could dig in instead of skim. Thanks, Madeline!!

And then a couple of diddley squat.

How do you pronounce banal?

Thanks to @pink_silk_glove. Remember not to rhyme with anal.

How do you use the word "pubes?"
That has plagued me for years, but now I can lay it to rest because there is no consensus among the smart, literate members of AH. It is simply a useless term.

Do my narrow tastes constitute a fetish?

This was never a long-standing question for me. It just popped up one day and @TarnishedPenny laid it to rest quickly and clearly. " 'Kink' might be when something unusual makes sex more exciting, 'fetish' is when that something is essential for enjoyment." Based on the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition.


THANKS AGAIN, Y'ALL!!!!!

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I just want to say that I'm glad that that one comment of mine was so helpful to you. It's truly fascinating and encouraging to see you having so much enthusiasm and energy, both sexual and mental at your age. I wish you many many successful years on Literotica.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Intelligence gets as intelligence gives.

You embody sapiosexuality, and I hope to be as horny as you are when I'm eighty!

Also, I hope I'm still writing stories that counter-point in nearly every way "that's not my thing, but I do like the way that you write it."

Look, @AwkwardlySet is here. We can be a fan-boy, fan-girl collective .

 

[lovecraft68]

This is a good idea, although it does bring up the depressing reality of mortality in our cozy little erotic fantasy world.

Let's hope you're here to keep adding to it for years to come.

 

[AG31]

Intelligence gets as intelligence gives.

You embody sapiosexuality, and I hope to be as horny as you are when I'm eighty!

I LOVE my new word!!!!

 

[yowser]

I LOVE my new word!!!!

There's 16 stories tagged 'sapiosexual' here. Interesting reads.

 

[AG31]

There's 16 stories tagged 'sapiosexual' here. Interesting reads.

But it doesn't show up in the list of tags on the Tag Portal home page. What good is a tag if you don't know it's available. Sure, you can search for it. But you have to know about it first. Right?

 

[ElectricBlue]

But it doesn't show up in the list of tags on the Tag Portal home page. What good is a tag if you don't know it's available. Sure, you can search for it. But you have to know about it first. Right?

Authors choose the tags, but if readers don't know the words that's their disconnect. If they don't know what a word means, it doesn't matter if it turns up in the tag portal - they're not going to search on a word they don't know.

 

[AG31]

Authors choose the tags, but if readers don't know the words that's their disconnect. If they don't know what a word means, it doesn't matter if it turns up in the tag portal - they're not going to search on a word they don't know.

Whether you know a word or not is irrelevant. @Erozetta posted that she likes to read stories with "weird" tags. That sounded appealing. But I was sorry to discover that one "weird" tag (sapiosexual - 16 stories) doesn't show up in the list. So I guess there are a lot of weird tags that you can't find unless you search for them.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Whether you know a word or not is irrelevant. @Erozetta posted that she likes to read stories with "weird" tags. That sounded appealing. But I was sorry to discover that one "weird" tag (sapiosexual - 16 stories) doesn't show up in the list. So I guess there are a lot of weird tags that you can't find unless you search for them.

The lists must be generated from frequency of use, not every use. 16 uses over twenty years and tens of thousands of stories is too far down in the noise to register on the page.

"Every use" would be an erotica dictionary - which would be a good thing, but the nearest you'll get will be the Urban Dictionaries. You could wander through one of those to find terms that might be intriguing, and pop them into the Lit search engine.

 

[Erozetta]

Whether you know a word or not is irrelevant. @Erozetta posted that she likes to read stories with "weird" tags. That sounded appealing. But I was sorry to discover that one "weird" tag (sapiosexual - 16 stories) doesn't show up in the list. So I guess there are a lot of weird tags that you can't find unless you search for them.

You definitely have to search for weird tags. Otherwise they wouldn't be weird, they'd be common and well used.

Like you are never going to find *Literal cream pie" or "Difficulty giving up control" on any popular tag cloud. I have a tendency to think of odd terms that appeal to me and search those because people who think like me are likely to write in a way I will enjoy.

But those terms will never be known casually unless those who search them make a comment about the unusual or fairly unique tags to make others aware of them.

 

[THBGato]

Interesting thread. It's quite long: have you thought of publishing this as a review/essay?

 

[AG31]

Interesting thread. It's quite long: have you thought of publishing this as a review/essay?

No, I hadn't. Sounds like an idea worth pursuing. Do you happen to know whether re-posting forum posts there is permitted?

 

[THBGato]

No clue. How would they know?

 

[XerXesXu]

Words are like tags, but unpoliced. Sapiosexual has appeared in 51 stories since 2016, when it started to become a fashionable description. It's a type of psychobabble. Using the word 'rape' as a tag is regulated, it's not allowed. Non-consent fans have to search for the word 'rape' to find the 36,000 odd stories that they'll enjoy.

 

[ElectricBlue]

No, I hadn't. Sounds like an idea worth pursuing. Do you happen to know whether re-posting forum posts there is permitted?

It's your post, and if you posted it with the same account name, your story. If you wanted to publish it in your story list, I'd add a Note to the Editor, saying it's you in both places, just for certainty.

 

[MyBareTorso]

What's the significance of my not wanting a focus on relationships in my stories?

I think there's a sort of philosophical/psychological layer that relatesto martyrdom, both religious and non-religious, but the simple answer is that I don't want the competition of another character. I don't want the distraction of a relationship. I want an unencumbered focus on my MC. Thanks, in particular, to @AwkwardlySet for this insight: "I am a straight guy, but more often than not, I don't need a man in a sex scene to be able to enjoy it. Women are all that interests me sexually and I don't even need the fantasy of me joining them in some way - I can simply enjoy their beauty and sexual appeal."

At a more hifalutin level, I feel that I'm dealing with "surrender so complete that the MCs interiority is overwhelmed by it. There is nothing else." The story would be damaged if there were distractions of plot and character.

What's the significance of my wanting only male MCs?

Up until about 3 years ago my fantasies were centered on the female POV. Usually sort-of-me, but not clearly. Then, in the wake of what I've come to understand was a hormone storm, they switched 180 degrees to the male POV. The hormone was probably testosterone, as the effect was many powerful erotic spasms that matched descriptions of prostate orgasms. Was this some sort of suppressed transgender impulse? I didn't find any hints of an answer until @AwkwardlySet gave me the most unexpected, but uncomplicated answer possible. See above. Aha! My libido had been turned up several notches, and I was experiencing the uber-vanilla attraction of a heterosexual female for male physicality. The kind more commonly associated with men for women, but, hey. Don't knock it, I say to myself.

Why this insistence on plot and character?

Very early in my late-life involvement with erotica I learned that stories without a focus on plot and character were disparaged. They were called "strokers." It had a denigrating, dismissive connotation that I didn't think should apply such stories. For a while I advocated for the term "pure erotica," to describe stories that focussed on eroticism without much plot or character, but with admirable attention to the writing. With the help of AH I settled on "simple erotica," for which I continue to advocate.

Lately I've decided that "the reader brings their own energy" to simple erotica. Also to plain old strokers.

Why do people write erotica?

I always knew that I was not an author. I had no desire to come up with new plots or characters. I was a recorder of fantasies. But how many other writers of erotica are also so focused? I really don't know the answer as it applies to the broader world of erotica, but it's really clear that AH is populated mostly by serious writers. I don't mean professional, necessarily, but by people who take pleasure in the act of writing. I've gotten a number of fascinating insights into that process.

I've always enjoyed editing, and analysis in general. I'm frequently amazed at people's ability to articulate what's good or bad or effective about a piece of writing. So this forum has been a delight.

Why do I have the impulse to publish my stories?

I write down my fantasies in part to preserve them, and in part to experience the fun of putting experiences into words. But why share? I get plenty of satisfaction from those acts alone. For instance, it doesn't particularly bother me to think that possibly no one will read this whole post. I'm looking for like-minded people. I'm hoping for feedback. And it's one of the main reasons I post on Literotica. I've stopped wondering why I want to find like-minded people. It seems like a fundamental human need.



A few questions to which I've gotten a partial answer

Why do I not regard rape as a special crime? and What does it feel like to want to have one's sex re-assigned?

With few exceptions most people replied in ways to scold me for even asking the question. A few attempted to actually answer it. But somewhere along the line I likened my feelings (or absence of feeling, to be more accurate), to the condition I have of not being able to create visual images in my mind. It's now called aphantasia, and last I heard (years ago), about 5% of the population has it in its severe form. It's a great example of how people can have vastly different internal brain experiences, and not even realize it. I didn't understand why "make a picture" as a memory aid never worked for me until I was in my twenties. With regard to the questions above, it dawned on me that some people may just have a part of the brain that is active in a way that mine is not. Call it, maybe, "gender sensitivity." If anyone knows about discussions along these lines, would you point me to them?

What is the relationship between religious experience and eroticism?
I've wondered as long as I can remember about this. I posted it here, not expecting much info, since religion is not as much of a thing as it used to be. I didn't really hear anything new. But I continue to think there are sharper answers lurking out there somewhere.

And then a couple of diddley squat.

How do you pronounce banal?

Thanks to @pink_silk_glove. Remember not to rhyme with anal.

Do my narrow tastes constitute a fetish?

This was never a long-standing question for me. It just popped up one day and @TarnishedPenny laid it to rest quickly and clearly. " 'Kink' might be when something unusual makes sex more exciting, 'fetish' is when that something is essential for enjoyment." Based on the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition.


THANKS AGAIN, Y'ALL!!!!!

Love ya, AG31! I'm very happy that Literotica and the AH have been fun, enriching, and enlightening experiences for you. I very much hope to see you around the traps for many, many more years to come.

 

[StillStunned]

No, I hadn't. Sounds like an idea worth pursuing. Do you happen to know whether re-posting forum posts there is permitted?

I've turned a WIWAW post here in the AH into a published WIWAW story. I prefaced it with a note: "This story first appeared as a thread in the Authors' Hangout. I'm reposting it here, with some edits, for a more general readership to see."

 

[EmilysRopes]

One point about "sapiosexual", that unfortunately I had to make clear to someone elsewhere, in no way does it imply that you, yourself, are intelligent.

 

[dmallord]

@AG31 I've encountered two new words in research on my next story—something in common with a younger fellow of just 80. I'm 86 now, so I'm just ahead of you. There are many close to us in the AH's coffee shop. TX, unfortunately, passed a short time ago. He kept up with people in real life here. They posted his passing. We toast him over in TexRad's coffee shop with a cup of coffee every now and then. You're welcome to drop in there and chat anytime.

• WebMD – “Sapiosexuality means that a person is sexually attracted to brilliant people, so much so that they consider it to be the most important trait in a partner. It is a relatively new word that has become more popular in recent years.”
• WebMD – “Fraysexuality, also known as ignotasexuality, is a sexual identity in which people experience a strong attraction to strangers and less attraction to people they know well. A fraysexual person generally prefers having sex with people they don't know over those they do.”

It was nice reading your entries. I see no reason they shouldn't go into the essay sections. These threads are not considered stories, so it would be reasonable to put them there. No one should consider it as a duplicate contribution. Few readers on the other side of the FORUM delve into this area–or even know it exists.

 

[AG31]

Interesting thread. It's quite long: have you thought of publishing this as a review/essay?

Well, at your suggestion I did think about it. And I did it. And it was published today. The new title is Thanks to the Literotica Forums, but everything else is the same except I removed specific user names. Thanks!

 

[Smoothshavendad]

What's the significance of my not wanting a focus on relationships in my stories?

I think there's a sort of philosophical/psychological layer that relatesto martyrdom, both religious and non-religious, but the simple answer is that I don't want the competition of another character. I don't want the distraction of a relationship. I want an unencumbered focus on my MC. Thanks, in particular, to @AwkwardlySet for this insight: "I am a straight guy, but more often than not, I don't need a man in a sex scene to be able to enjoy it. Women are all that interests me sexually and I don't even need the fantasy of me joining them in some way - I can simply enjoy their beauty and sexual appeal."

At a more hifalutin level, I feel that I'm dealing with "surrender so complete that the MCs interiority is overwhelmed by it. There is nothing else." The story would be damaged if there were distractions of plot and character.

What's the significance of my wanting only male MCs?

Up until about 3 years ago my fantasies were centered on the female POV. Usually sort-of-me, but not clearly. Then, in the wake of what I've come to understand was a hormone storm, they switched 180 degrees to the male POV. The hormone was probably testosterone, as the effect was many powerful erotic spasms that matched descriptions of prostate orgasms. Was this some sort of suppressed transgender impulse? I didn't find any hints of an answer until @AwkwardlySet gave me the most unexpected, but uncomplicated answer possible. See above. Aha! My libido had been turned up several notches, and I was experiencing the uber-vanilla attraction of a heterosexual female for male physicality. The kind more commonly associated with men for women, but, hey. Don't knock it, I say to myself.

Why this insistence on plot and character?

Very early in my late-life involvement with erotica I learned that stories without a focus on plot and character were disparaged. They were called "strokers." It had a denigrating, dismissive connotation that I didn't think should apply such stories. For a while I advocated for the term "pure erotica," to describe stories that focussed on eroticism without much plot or character, but with admirable attention to the writing. With the help of AH I settled on "simple erotica," for which I continue to advocate.

Lately I've decided that "the reader brings their own energy" to simple erotica. Also to plain old strokers.

Why do people write erotica?

I always knew that I was not an author. I had no desire to come up with new plots or characters. I was a recorder of fantasies. But how many other writers of erotica are also so focused? I really don't know the answer as it applies to the broader world of erotica, but it's really clear that AH is populated mostly by serious writers. I don't mean professional, necessarily, but by people who take pleasure in the act of writing. I've gotten a number of fascinating insights into that process.

I've always enjoyed editing, and analysis in general. I'm frequently amazed at people's ability to articulate what's good or bad or effective about a piece of writing. So this forum has been a delight.

Why do I have the impulse to publish my stories?

I write down my fantasies in part to preserve them, and in part to experience the fun of putting experiences into words. But why share? I get plenty of satisfaction from those acts alone. For instance, it doesn't particularly bother me to think that possibly no one will read this whole post. I'm looking for like-minded people. I'm hoping for feedback. And it's one of the main reasons I post on Literotica. I've stopped wondering why I want to find like-minded people. It seems like a fundamental human need.



A few questions to which I've gotten a partial answer

Why do I not regard rape as a special crime? and What does it feel like to want to have one's sex re-assigned?

With few exceptions most people replied in ways to scold me for even asking the question. A few attempted to actually answer it. But somewhere along the line I likened my feelings (or absence of feeling, to be more accurate), to the condition I have of not being able to create visual images in my mind. It's now called aphantasia, and last I heard (years ago), about 5% of the population has it in its severe form. It's a great example of how people can have vastly different internal brain experiences, and not even realize it. I didn't understand why "make a picture" as a memory aid never worked for me until I was in my twenties. With regard to the questions above, it dawned on me that some people may just have a part of the brain that is active in a way that mine is not. Call it, maybe, "gender sensitivity." If anyone knows about discussions along these lines, would you point me to them?

What is the relationship between religious experience and eroticism?
I've wondered as long as I can remember about this. I posted it here, not expecting much info, since religion is not as much of a thing as it used to be. I didn't really hear anything new. But I continue to think there are sharper answers lurking out there somewhere.

Edit: And there are! I finally got hold of Eroticism: Death and Sensuality, by Georges Bataille, recommended by @madelinemasoch. I do wish I had the intellectual energy I had in college!! I'm sure the answers to all my vague questions on this subject are addressed there, if only I could dig in instead of skim. Thanks, Madeline!!

And then a couple of diddley squat.

How do you pronounce banal?

Thanks to @pink_silk_glove. Remember not to rhyme with anal.

How do you use the word "pubes?"
That has plagued me for years, but now I can lay it to rest because there is no consensus among the smart, literate members of AH. It is simply a useless term.

Do my narrow tastes constitute a fetish?

This was never a long-standing question for me. It just popped up one day and @TarnishedPenny laid it to rest quickly and clearly. " 'Kink' might be when something unusual makes sex more exciting, 'fetish' is when that something is essential for enjoyment." Based on the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition.


THANKS AGAIN, Y'ALL!!!!!

You are a treasure, fine lady!