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Now taking applications

BradBigBrain said:
Damn.



What she said. funniest.thread.evah
Click to expand...

1st off thanks, 2nd I am making a new thread with my sugar mama and the story of how it came about our backgrounds and so on and so on...If they thought this thread was offensive then I cannot wait for them to see the next one
 
IhateClowns said:
1st off thanks, 2nd I am making a new thread with my sugar mama and the story of how it came about our backgrounds and so on and so on...If they thought this thread was offensive then I cannot wait for them to see the next one
Click to expand...

Damn. Son. Not offensive at all...pretty damn funny. Can't wait for the next one!
 
I have decided to re-open this thread. I am now taking applications once again. Please fill out the questionairre and PM it to me when you get the chance. The interview will be a face to face. I need to make sure you meet my credentials. Please bring a bank statement and list of medications that you are on.
 
Name_________________________
Address_______________________
Phone________________________
SSN#_________________________
Blood Type______________________
Height__________ Weight_____________
Tit Size____________ Real or Fake____________
Garden Grooming Style__________________*
Ethnicity______________
Hair Color_________ Eye Color___________
Annual Income___________________
Square Footage of you house________________
Square Footage of the house you will buy me___________
How much cash in your purse right now_________________
Employer__________________ **
What type of car do you drive________________
Do you own any fur coats________________
Is your favorite movie Cocktail________________
Dogs or cats________________
Does size matter_____________________
Are your friends hot________________
Do I have to be seen with you on a regular basis__________________
How are you willing to pay me Monthly or weekly__________________
Do you believe in Santa Claus_______________________***
If I got into a bad accident and was paralyzed would you still send me checks________________
Are you currently employed as a sugar mama_____________________
Are you a squirter______________
Is your pussy tight_____________________
Does the back of your neck look like a package of hot dogs_______________
Is your ass so big you have to wipe it by reaching over your shoulder_______________
Are you a waxer______________________
Are your nipples sensitive_____________________
Is your ass an exit only______________________
Do you believe in 3-somes_____________________
Are you a smoker___________________****

This are specific questions obviously. Please in your own words describe what makes you the perfect sugar mama and why I should choose you to take your money and spend it on myself while mediocrely pleasing you sexually:___________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________


*If our pussy has so much hair you can plant tomatos in it then move along. If your pussy is so loose it would be like throwing a hot dog down a hall way then please move along. If when you take your pants off and it looks like a squirrel is trying to escape out the sides of your panties then please move along. I don't mind some hair there, I just would like it to be somewhat maintained.

**If you job requires you to wear a hairnet then you don't make enough money to support me.

***If you do not believe in Santa Claus then you were not hugged enough as a kid and well I don't need an emotionally unstable sugar mama.

****I am not a smoker so you will not smoke around me. You better smoke outside and bring a lot of tic tacs and your wallet because smokers fees are double across the board.

Signature________________________ Date______________________
 
IhateClowns said:
Name_________________________
Address_______________________
Phone________________________
SSN#_________________________
Blood Type______________________
Height__________ Weight_____________
Tit Size____________ Real or Fake____________
Garden Grooming Style__________________*
Ethnicity______________
Hair Color_________ Eye Color___________
Annual Income___________________
Square Footage of you house________________
Square Footage of the house you will buy me___________
How much cash in your purse right now_________________
Employer__________________ **
What type of car do you drive________________
Do you own any fur coats________________
Is your favorite movie Cocktail________________
Dogs or cats________________
Does size matter_____________________
Are your friends hot________________
Do I have to be seen with you on a regular basis__________________
How are you willing to pay me Monthly or weekly__________________
Do you believe in Santa Claus_______________________***
If I got into a bad accident and was paralyzed would you still send me checks________________
Are you currently employed as a sugar mama_____________________
Are you a squirter______________
Is your pussy tight_____________________
Does the back of your neck look like a package of hot dogs_______________
Is your ass so big you have to wipe it by reaching over your shoulder_______________
Are you a waxer______________________
Are your nipples sensitive_____________________
Is your ass an exit only______________________
Do you believe in 3-somes_____________________
Are you a smoker___________________****

This are specific questions obviously. Please in your own words describe what makes you the perfect sugar mama and why I should choose you to take your money and spend it on myself while mediocrely pleasing you sexually:___________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________


*If our pussy has so much hair you can plant tomatos in it then move along. If your pussy is so loose it would be like throwing a hot dog down a hall way then please move along. If when you take your pants off and it looks like a squirrel is trying to escape out the sides of your panties then please move along. I don't mind some hair there, I just would like it to be somewhat maintained.

**If you job requires you to wear a hairnet then you don't make enough money to support me.

***If you do not believe in Santa Claus then you were not hugged enough as a kid and well I don't need an emotionally unstable sugar mama.

****I am not a smoker so you will not smoke around me. You better smoke outside and bring a lot of tic tacs and your wallet because smokers fees are double across the board.

Signature________________________ Date______________________
Click to expand...

I am afraid that I dont make enough money to support you and your opulent lifestyle clowns... and we couldve had so much fun together... sigh... :rolleyes:
 
Rikki_13 said:
I am afraid that I dont make enough money to support you and your opulent lifestyle clowns... and we couldve had so much fun together... sigh... :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Yeah possibly but bottomline is you are too young. I need someone close o the grave. Someone who is a bit incoherent so when it comes to changing her will, it won't be an issue. I can deal with her kids later...
 
IhateClowns said:
I would suggest you just fax them directly to me. I have a confidentiality agreement set-up. I am my own assistant.
Click to expand...

I thought I already owned your ass????? or are you planning on cutting me in on some cash???
 
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