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LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Now taking applications

Please realize that while you are my sugar mama I will still be able to go out and be with other women. Ones I won't have to close my eyes or be embarassed to be seen with. Here I am with my last girlfriend:

http://img576.imageshack.us/img576/5530/n5131012038664182288138.jpg

So don't get your hopes up that we will fall in love and live happily ever after. I just want your money and am willing to have sex with you behind closed doors to get it.
 
I wrote a little poem for my sugar mama and it goes a little something like this.....

I am looking for some sugar
coming from a woman of wealth
attraction doesnt matter
as long as you are in bad health

You see I need your money
To help pay a bill
so please piss off your children
put me in your will

I will perform my duty
please you through and through
make you cum a bunch
it is easy for me to do

It will be really quick
just a minute or two
will cost you just a grand
take a look at my menu

So please be my sugar mama
I know your willing and able
and after my job is done
leave the cash on my table

Seriously now ladies. What verile young stud writes poetry for his sugar mama? I am telling you I am an all around purchase for you.
 
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IhateClowns said:
I wrote a little poem for my sugar mama and it goes a little something like this.....

I am looking for some sugar
coming from a woman of wealth
attraction doesnt matter
as long as you are in bad health

You see I need your money
To help pay a bill
so please piss off your children
put me in your will

I will perform my duty
please you through and through
make you cum a bunch
it is easy for me to do

It will be really quick
just a minute or two
will cost you just a grand
take a look at my menu

So please be my sugar mama
I know your willing and able
and after my job is done
leave the cash on my table

Seriously now ladies. What verile young stud writes poetry for his sugar mama? I am telling you I am an all around purchase for you.
Click to expand...

*swoon*
 
IhateClowns said:
I wrote a little poem for my sugar mama and it goes a little something like this.....

I am looking for some sugar
coming from a woman of wealth
attraction doesnt matter
as long as you are in bad health

You see I need your money
To help pay a bill
so please piss off your children
put me in your will

I will perform my duty
please you through and through
make you cum a bunch
it is easy for me to do

It will be really quick
just a minute or two
will cost you just a grand
take a look at my menu

So please be my sugar mama
I know your willing and able
and after my job is done
leave the cash on my table

Seriously now ladies. What verile young stud writes poetry for his sugar mama? I am telling you I am an all around purchase for you.
Click to expand...
He's so dreamy!!!!

*faints from happiness*
 
Millianthe said:
He's so dreamy!!!!

*faints from happiness*
Click to expand...

Now now please don't do that. I don't have the education or know how to revive you. Closest thing I have seen to rescue someone is What About Bob. Not sure you want my knee in your back over and over
 
IhateClowns said:
Now now please don't do that. I don't have the education or know how to revive you. Closest thing I have seen to rescue someone is What About Bob. Not sure you want my knee in your back over and over
Click to expand...
Just get the toilet plunger... works just as well... oh wait... my bad... I was assuming there was indoor plumbing but I suppose I will have to install that for you ;)
 
Millianthe said:
Just get the toilet plunger... works just as well... oh wait... my bad... I was assuming there was indoor plumbing but I suppose I will have to install that for you ;)
Click to expand...

No smart ass I have indoor plumbing. Just make sure when you want coffee you use the sanka can on the right.....
 
IhateClowns said:
Oh yeah a blast...I thought the idea was to take the sugar mamas money. Not end up in the ER. At least the bill will taken care of.
Click to expand...
But I will be paying for it... all those lost hours of passion as you're either moaning about ass explosions or clutching your heart in pain... *sigh*
 
Millianthe said:
But I will be paying for it... all those lost hours of passion as you're either moaning about ass explosions or clutching your heart in pain... *sigh*
Click to expand...

Yeah think about all the money you are saving by just trying to kill me on our first night out. The waffle House and a Porky's Revenge movie rental. Oh what a night
 
IhateClowns said:
Yeah think about all the money you are saving by just trying to kill me on our first night out. The waffle House and a Porky's Revenge movie rental. Oh what a night
Click to expand...
You ain't ne'er had it so good... now git back inside the house...
 
Millianthe said:
You ain't ne'er had it so good... now git back inside the house...
Click to expand...

Oh wait dear, I think yuo are missing the point of the whole sugar mama thing. i am supposed to be telling you to git out of the house after services rendered...
 
IhateClowns said:
Oh wait dear, I think yuo are missing the point of the whole sugar mama thing. i am supposed to be telling you to git out of the house after services rendered...
Click to expand...
Now don't be so rude, not when I bought you some new sheets... your choice if you want the Hall of Justice sheets on your car bed or Wonder Woman...

I'm thinking Wonder Woman because it would just give more purpose to your pillow you showed us earlier...
 
Millianthe said:
Now don't be so rude, not when I bought you some new sheets... your choice if you want the Hall of Justice sheets on your car bed or Wonder Woman...

I'm thinking Wonder Woman because it would just give more purpose to your pillow you showed us earlier...
Click to expand...

I can dig me some Wonderwoman. As a matter of fact I had wonder woman underoos growing up....no wait what I meant was....
 
I decided to help some of you women out by getting some testimonials from a few people:

Billy (Best Friend) "Ladies seriously you need to help this guy out. We are tired of him being single. We are starting to think he might be gay. He is always talking about these women he is banging but we have seen him in the gym showers and the only thing he is banging are the thighs of the women he slaps against becaus ethere is no way that half incher is inside banging anything."

Mom "None of you pretty ladies take my boy away from me. He is all I got. Who is gonna help me get the pots off the top shelves? Who is going to change the lightbulbs for me? I love him living at home even though he is 43 years old. He is my little man, well not little as in little, well I know his penis is litle if he is hung like his no good for nuttin piece of crap daddy."

Ex Girlfriend "Please take him. I got more pleasure from a tic tac and a rubber band then I ever did from him. Look at his dick or lack there of. It is awful down there. Like his was in Nam or something and got hit by a mine. If you want a guy that doesn't pay for shit and his idea of a good time is to get a twelver of Natty light and go cow tippin then you will be in heaven. Oh and don't even let his mouth near you. Have you seen it? Smell like someone took a shit in it and then he swished it around."

Dad "Ladies the man is hung like a mule and if he is anything like me know that he will eat your pussy like it is a well cooked steak. He should have a really big cock to please you women. Oh and if his hands are anywhere near as leathery as mine then your nipples should be teased nicely. Well i gotta run, guard says my time is up"

Grandma "He is a sweet boy. Will treat you nicely. Be careful though. He tries to steal and use my teeth all the time. So if you wear dentures like I do put them away safely. "
 
So far I have received a grand total of half an application. This is going better then expected.
 
So my new car is ready to be picked up. Since I don't have to worry about over compensating for my rather large penis I decided to go with the ultimate SUV:

http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/128/lr2010rangeroversport41.jpg

It is only $105k. So let us take a look at the menu to see just what we can do so I can get you to pay for my new ride that of course you can sit in the back and ride around with me. Well that is only if the windows are tinted enough so non one can see into it. So what can we do:

Ass play for 10 minutes with you squirting in the end would cover it.

We can make a smorgousbord of things to do that can add up to the 105k. Holding hands a few kisses some dry humping. A little tit tuch a clit rub and 5 strokes should cover it.

Just lemme know what to do to earn the money. I need to pick the car up at 5pm for a date I have tonight.
 
Was asked if it is a cash only deal. I got with Nancy Grace and she suggested I set up a LLC so I can take credit card payments as well. Just realize that if it is a points card I get to buy myself stuff with the points you receive. Hey if I am going to be seen with you the least i can do is get paid and use the points for myself. Don't worry, I will get you a Chase cup or something.
 
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If you are unsure if you will qualify as a sugar mama or not here are some of the credentials you will need:

http://img411.imageshack.us/img411/3517/1006292t.jpg

A lovely fur coat

http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/4645/8449u.jpg

A safe to put valuables and money in to keep away from your children. Better yet just allow me to know the combination to get in

http://img651.imageshack.us/img651/7185/cash1024x768.jpg


Plenty of money to store in the safe

http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/1303/1246426621777.jpg

A Bentley or some sort of vehicle of equal value

http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/1923/7472498796b3af84b4f.jpg

A HUGE home with a pool are for me to work on my tan

http://img36.imageshack.us/img36/5659/solmobilitychildswchair.jpg

Preferrably a wheelchair so I don't have to do too much work for too much longer

And finally this is an absolute must:

http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/4866/45868860000f145bb9df.jpg

You must meet and get a long with my good friend. I like to call him by his first name only. Jack

If you do not meet at least 3/4's of these then you might as well stop filling out the application. Thank you for understanding and please stop crying, it is beneath me to watch you cry.
 
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