No pics, no cam, no skype...

[FAITHandFLESH]

So what do you think when you read a post that lays down these restrictions?

Opposite gender of what they are claiming?

Not very attractive?

Worried about someone recognizing them?

Something else?

Opposite Gender - I think a LOT of men fear this happening but I know women do it too. I think it's truly twisted for someone to mess with someone's mind like this...

Unattractive - Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but hey, what one considers attractive, another does not. It's just the risk of putting yourself out there...

Getting Caught - I kind of think, if someone recognized me and called me out, my first reaction would probably be, "Well what are YOU doing here?"

Something else - what might that be?

 

[HoldYouDown]

So what do you think when you read a post that lays down these restrictions?

Opposite gender of what they are claiming?

Not very attractive?

Worried about someone recognizing them?

Something else?

Opposite Gender - I think a LOT of men fear this happening but I know women do it too. I think it's truly twisted for someone to mess with someone's mind like this...

Unattractive - Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but hey, what one considers attractive, another does not. It's just the risk of putting yourself out there...

Getting Caught - I kind of think, if someone recognized me and called me out, my first reaction would probably be, "Well what are YOU doing here?"

Something else - what might that be?

I usually think, "well that's their prerogative."

 

[FAITHandFLESH]

I usually think, "well that's their prerogative."

Sure it is...

But wouldn't that make you less prone to possibly chatting with them...?

 

[LupusDei]

It is/would be my rules as well, at least until much later, and I would expect no more of them either, although would accept some advances if they're so inclined. Plus, not even a pretense or slightest chance we could met in meatspace.

Why?

I'm a curious alien carnivore and may accidentally eat you.

Well, for starters, anything out is out. Anything can be used against you. Not that there's any special interests, but you never know. And you never know when some may arise.

I'm kind of paranoid, lol. I even written my school diary as a publication. Well, it was during a serious mind war going right over the place (we transitioned from USSR to EU+NATO without moving; very few gunshots were fired, but it was a war nevertheless). No one except me has ever read it (however I may have read some excerpts out loud for someone), but it contains not a word that shouldn't be read by whomever might happen to look over my shoulder. It does happen to contain certain hooks to allow me pull more private memories though.

Then the simple fact I'm not speaking English at all. It is strictly written only language for me. (Yes, most of time I have no idea how to correctly spell what I write, and you likely won't comprehend a word if I tried).

Besides, however delusional internet anonymity is, it's always possible to claim what I write is plain fiction and not connected to reality even if happen to closely resemble it for those few who might know. Net avatar is always work of fiction, at least to some degree.

So yeah, there's a whole lot of shells and onions to gnaw through.

 

[FAITHandFLESH]

Really surprised there have not been more responses to this post...

 

[sub2femdom]

It is/would be my rules as well, at least until much later, and I would expect no more of them either, although would accept some advances if they're so inclined. Plus, not even a pretense or slightest chance we could met in meatspace.

Why?

I'm a curious alien carnivore and may accidentally eat you.

Well, for starters, anything out is out. Anything can be used against you. Not that there's any special interests, but you never know. And you never know when some may arise.

I'm kind of paranoid, lol. I even written my school diary as a publication. Well, it was during a serious mind war going right over the place (we transitioned from USSR to EU+NATO without moving; very few gunshots were fired, but it was a war nevertheless). No one except me has ever read it (however I may have read some excerpts out loud for someone), but it contains not a word that shouldn't be read by whomever might happen to look over my shoulder. It does happen to contain certain hooks to allow me pull more private memories though.

Then the simple fact I'm not speaking English at all. It is strictly written only language for me. (Yes, most of time I have no idea how to correctly spell what I write, and you likely won't comprehend a word if I tried).

Besides, however delusional internet anonymity is, it's always possible to claim what I write is plain fiction and not connected to reality even if happen to closely resemble it for those few who might know. Net avatar is always work of fiction, at least to some degree.

So yeah, there's a whole lot of shells and onions to gnaw through.

While your wording is a bit alien, I agree with you. I'm in I.T. and do a considerable amount of internet security work; I can assure everyone that everything you do online can be tracked and hacked.

I live a very flavorful lifestyle. One that wouldn't bode well for me if any part of my professional life came into contact with it. I plan to keep it that way.

In my work, I've read accounts of people on various adult sites and forums being lured into video chat, only to have their computer IP address leeched, and then their identity compromised, and that's when the blackmail comes.

Example:
https://www.heraldonline.com/news/local/crime/article224078835.html

Because it's always men who are "being perverts" in these schemes, they almost always pay up, and rarely call the police out of embarrassment. It's called "Sextortion" and it's real. So my identity stays private, including any facial pics, until I meet and play in person. Even then, I don't swap any incriminating texts, emails, etc.. masturbating online is over-rated anyways

 

[Jada59]

I used to run a chat room. I know a lot of men pretend to be women to get sex. I don't get that at all. For me to chat with another woman and pretend that I have a dick would not be a turn on at all! I also don't like deceiving people.

I do understand why some people might want to remain anonymous. They may fear that the other person could out them to their spouse, their workplace or whatever. I do know that some famous people post here. At least that is their claim. I'm not famous and if I've chatted with someone, ti's likely they'll at least know my real name unless they have given me reason not to tell them. Yes, I know there could be stalkers. I have been stalked. Not just online. Being stalked is scary so we should be careful in that regard.

People often fear that others won't like them if they know how they really are. So they might fudge some facts. They might try to make you think they are taller, thinner, younger, wealthier, whatever. Or they might just skim over some details hoping that once you've established that you like them, you'll overlook any missing details.

I used to talk to a guy who refused to show me his pic. We had spoken on the phone. There was no doubt in my mind that he was a guy. His fear was that I'd think he was ugly and wouldn't want to talk to him any more. He knew what I looked like.

We did meet after talking for a couple of years. We had a quick meeting at the airport. I got off of the plane, ran right to him and gave him a hug. He was baffled because I didn't know what he looked like and there were plenty of other men there. And he hadn't caught my eye because there was such a crowd coming off of the plane. I just knew it was him! And he looked pretty much like Steve Buscemi. Now I happen to have a thing for Steve but he's not everyone's cup of tea in the looks department.

Now for some recent issues in my life! I love phone sex. Those I've had it with, know that I'm not free to do it at all times because I don't live alone. My gardener lives on the property and has access to the house but... He just broke up with his GF and has now actually moved into my house but is staying mostly in the living room. I do have a spare bedroom. He has gotten it ready to sleep in but isn't sleeping there.

I can't say for sure what his issue is. He is opening up to me slowly. I suspect two things. One being that he's afraid to be alone. The other is that he might want to be closer to me than he is, but is afraid to make a move, such as asking to sleep with *me*. So if he sleeps near me, he can feel my presence. He knows I'll look after him, tuck him in, etc. But...

He also knows I have phone sex and I know he likes to listen. It was one thing if he came into the house and heard me. But I feel uncomfortable having phone sex knowing that he is already in here and *will* hear me.

We did talk about this yesterday. I told him I was fine with him sleeping here but that it was a bit awkward for me because there were some things I wanted to do but didn't feel free to do so because he might not appreciate what I was doing. He just grinned at me and said he knew what I meant. And I'm sure he does!

So... For now, if I tell someone I can't do phone, that's my reason. It's not that I don't want to do it.

As for cams and vids... I'll look at yours. I may send you pics of my choosing. No, they won't be nudes. It's not that I'm uncomfortable with my body. I just am not photogenic and I hate having my picture taken. I'm also very lousy at taking pics of anything, let alone myself! Then there's the fact that nude pics or vids can be shared. It does happen. So if I don't send you pics or vids, it's not necessarily that I don't trust you. It's not that I don't want you to see me naked. If I were with you for real, I wouldn't cover up.

As for Skype, some people can't use it because their phone or computer is provided through their work and such apps are not allowed.

 

[PleasePeesMe]

Beautifully reasoned.

 

[Blase]

The wrong-gender thing is unfortunately common. I think some guys just don't have the courage to come out and say that they want to try playing as girls, which is unfortunate because they'd have no trouble finding partners in the GLBT area. These days if someone is interested in play as opposed to chat I'll ask for some sort of (tame, non-identifying) proof early on because I'm looking to get to know people and form genuine connections with them: It's no fun spending several days or longer on someone, only to find that I've been writing fiction the whole time without realizing it.

 

[FAITHandFLESH]

I used to run a chat room. I know a lot of men pretend to be women to get sex. I don't get that at all. For me to chat with another woman and pretend that I have a dick would not be a turn on at all! I also don't like deceiving people.

I do understand why some people might want to remain anonymous. They may fear that the other person could out them to their spouse, their workplace or whatever. I do know that some famous people post here. At least that is their claim. I'm not famous and if I've chatted with someone, ti's likely they'll at least know my real name unless they have given me reason not to tell them. Yes, I know there could be stalkers. I have been stalked. Not just online. Being stalked is scary so we should be careful in that regard.

People often fear that others won't like them if they know how they really are. So they might fudge some facts. They might try to make you think they are taller, thinner, younger, wealthier, whatever. Or they might just skim over some details hoping that once you've established that you like them, you'll overlook any missing details.

I used to talk to a guy who refused to show me his pic. We had spoken on the phone. There was no doubt in my mind that he was a guy. His fear was that I'd think he was ugly and wouldn't want to talk to him any more. He knew what I looked like.

We did meet after talking for a couple of years. We had a quick meeting at the airport. I got off of the plane, ran right to him and gave him a hug. He was baffled because I didn't know what he looked like and there were plenty of other men there. And he hadn't caught my eye because there was such a crowd coming off of the plane. I just knew it was him! And he looked pretty much like Steve Buscemi. Now I happen to have a thing for Steve but he's not everyone's cup of tea in the looks department.

Now for some recent issues in my life! I love phone sex. Those I've had it with, know that I'm not free to do it at all times because I don't live alone. My gardener lives on the property and has access to the house but... He just broke up with his GF and has now actually moved into my house but is staying mostly in the living room. I do have a spare bedroom. He has gotten it ready to sleep in but isn't sleeping there.

I can't say for sure what his issue is. He is opening up to me slowly. I suspect two things. One being that he's afraid to be alone. The other is that he might want to be closer to me than he is, but is afraid to make a move, such as asking to sleep with *me*. So if he sleeps near me, he can feel my presence. He knows I'll look after him, tuck him in, etc. But...

He also knows I have phone sex and I know he likes to listen. It was one thing if he came into the house and heard me. But I feel uncomfortable having phone sex knowing that he is already in here and *will* hear me.

We did talk about this yesterday. I told him I was fine with him sleeping here but that it was a bit awkward for me because there were some things I wanted to do but didn't feel free to do so because he might not appreciate what I was doing. He just grinned at me and said he knew what I meant. And I'm sure he does!

So... For now, if I tell someone I can't do phone, that's my reason. It's not that I don't want to do it.

As for cams and vids... I'll look at yours. I may send you pics of my choosing. No, they won't be nudes. It's not that I'm uncomfortable with my body. I just am not photogenic and I hate having my picture taken. I'm also very lousy at taking pics of anything, let alone myself! Then there's the fact that nude pics or vids can be shared. It does happen. So if I don't send you pics or vids, it's not necessarily that I don't trust you. It's not that I don't want you to see me naked. If I were with you for real, I wouldn't cover up.

As for Skype, some people can't use it because their phone or computer is provided through their work and such apps are not allowed.

Great response...thanks

 

[HoldYouDown]

Sure it is...

But wouldn't that make you less prone to possibly chatting with them...?

Not necessarily. If it's just a chat, what's the harm.

Sure, she could be a he. Sometimes it's easy to tell, sometimes not so much.

There was one time when I was bored and pretended to be a young Latina. I got a few dudes stroking on camera on ************, and I just told them my camera/mic weren't working. I wasn't turned on so much as bored, and wanted to see how far I could push it. I suppose that's kind of lousy, but they always wound up disconnecting after a few minutes anyway, I guess to move on to better options.

 

[FGB]

A good number of females have those rules to keep their sanity!

Between horn dogs/stroke hunters, stalkers and trolls just how safe is it?

And if they had a bad experience or two...

and some people hide stuff.

 

[bored_Idaho_girl]

Personally, I don't ever share pics or do phone, kik, etc. Its not because I am secretly a man or that I don't think I am attractive, I just don't ever want to risk anyone in my real life, finding out about my Lit life.

It took me a long time to get up the courage to join here. In the end, my need to explore this fantasy side of my mind won, so here I am..

For me, those who misrepresent themselves don't bother me so much. I consider this a fantasy site and I am never going to meet them, so I accept whatever they tell me as the truth. If the guy I am chatting with says he is a 6'2" well hung Solider, then that is who I imagine when chatting. Again, this is just my opinion and I have no other motive than to explore my fantasies. If you are here to make friends and hook up in real life, then I would hope you are completely honest with the other person.

 

[lil_jenni]

I'm a "No pics, no cam, no skype..." girl. I'm also an elementary school teacher (albeit a temporarily inactive one since I have a fifteen month old at home), and I want NOTHING here that could link this account to me. Plus my lawyer (who I sleep with every night, since he is also my Hubby) strongly advises me to not post any pictures anywhere and to keep all my opinions off the internet. He about goes into shock every time I start coming here again, but I'm careful about how much info I reveal (and much more careful now than when I used to drunk post, and even then the worst I did was reveal in PMs what city we live in).

As for the other reasons, I was really a girl last time I checked (which was this morning when I showered). And I think I'm attractive, although as mentioned above, that is in the eye of the beholder--a lot of guys probably think my tits are too small (they are a nice handful), and I don't have a thigh-gap anymore post-pregnancy. Plus, not everyone likes blondes (but they should). But I got hit on the other day by a nice looking guy in the store (and that was with my son in the basket), so I think some guys other than Hubby still like what they see.

 

[Destinys_Desire]

This is an interesting topic. I haven't chatted with many from lit; but being a chat board, I want to get to know a person for who they are on the inside and vice versa. Attractiveness comes from within, at least for me. Far too many will discount ever coming to know another by basing their desires on physical attractiveness. Those who are wanting a quick one off can always find a body they are physically attracted to on porn sites.

Being a sex forum, I am a straight female and only desire to chat with a straight male. A basic gender reveal in no way exposes a person and should be considered a perquisite. Those who seek to make a sexual connection with the same, have an established forum on the board for like minded individuals. This doesn't mean I won't chat with a female as long as it's understood that a physical sex connection is out of the question.

Like Jada, I don't take good pictures of anything and especially don't of myself. I don't portray to be a super model and consider myself average. I become very uncomfortable when someone pays me a compliment based on looks alone. By means of chat forum, I will either come to know you as a person or we won't chat at all. If that doesn't work for another, so be it.

I'm far from perfect and don't expect it from another. I certainly wouldn't expect full out honestly and exposure at first, as this only comes with enough time and as trust is established. Those who lie about their gender on the face obviously have ulterior motives. When someone I chat with feels authentic, at some point, I may reveal my identity. Until then, don't expect it. The last connection I thought was meaningful ended up being trashed after revealing or perhaps we expected too much from one another. Either way, it wasn't meant to be. It's called live and learn.

People grow and change and many do not know exactly what they are truly seeking at first, or how their desires may change after a connection is formed. This is why it's important to put in the time it takes to get to know someone. Sadly, many don't have the desire or feel their time is too short to do what it takes to make an authentic connection and continue to maintain it. Without it, compromise and common ground can never be established.

 

[bbwAlexa]

Kind of all of the above. Married, and while hubby knows I go to sites, he does not know to the extent. Where I live is small. People run into people all the time and I have a very public facing job. I do not trust the other person. If down the line pics do get sent, neck down only.

 

[oneblueye]

So what do you think when you read a post that lays down these restrictions?

Opposite gender of what they are claiming?

Not very attractive?

Worried about someone recognizing them?

Something else?

Opposite Gender - I think a LOT of men fear this happening but I know women do it too. I think it's truly twisted for someone to mess with someone's mind like this...

Unattractive - Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but hey, what one considers attractive, another does not. It's just the risk of putting yourself out there...

Getting Caught - I kind of think, if someone recognized me and called me out, my first reaction would probably be, "Well what are YOU doing here?"

Something else - what might that be?

I don't take pictures of myself and since I was sixteen I've dodged cameras as much as I could--, even on my wedding day. Its not because I think the camera is capable of stealing my soul or fear that it may break if it could take my picture. My image is mine and should remain with me.
If upon meeting me the image doesn't last---, well--, then the impression I made must not have been that great and you should forget me and make room for other things that matter.
Personally, I am not particularly bothered by a no pic at all, before a meeting situation either, because the very first look, is all I need to know what is their "honest" opinion of my face and body.

 

[angela40]

Angela

Most in community need all those visual gadgets. I just love the word.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

In my case I had a bad experience years ago with an online relationship that threatened to bleed over into my real life. Since then I’ve been extremely paranoid about sharing anything that could be traced back to the real me. I mostly prefer the written word anyway, so I don’t feel I’m missing much by not seeing or hearing who I chat with.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

In my case I had a bad experience years ago with an online relationship that threatened to bleed over into my real life. Since then I’ve been extremely paranoid about sharing anything that could be traced back to the real me. I mostly prefer the written word anyway, so I don’t feel I’m missing much by not seeing or hearing who I chat with.

I know exactly what you mean...

 

[FAITHandFLESH]

In my case I had a bad experience years ago with an online relationship that threatened to bleed over into my real life. Since then I’ve been extremely paranoid about sharing anything that could be traced back to the real me. I mostly prefer the written word anyway, so I don’t feel I’m missing much by not seeing or hearing who I chat with.

Getting burned must suck big time...

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

Getting burned must suck big time...

just as much or more than in 'real life'
When I had to give up, "the Muse" or walk away from my wife and kids, the weight of the decision almost crushed me emotionally, I wasn't able to pick up my pen and write anything meaningful for nearly three years.

 

[Deleted member 861104]

The problem with camming is that men (mostly) might possible record the session and upload it. I had the wonderful opportunity a couple times with women and I must say it was tremendous. In the past few years, women have become more protective.. and I can't blame them. There are many of us here that don't want to save pictures or videos... not good to have them on your hard drive.

What I can't understand is why someone must only chat on Lit, or by sending personal messages back and forth here. Email accounts are easy to set up. Yes, a person can find out the general area they are coming from, but that takes a real geek. Chat apps are safe, and one can enable voice. Kik, or even safer, Wickrme.

I respect those that must use only the written word. I am very happy to chat and play that way. But.... don't rule out the wonders of voice! It sure is a nice way to intimately get to know one another......

 

[kc_sweetNsour]

I'm pretty upfront with the fact that I don't like to share pictures very much. Basically, I do this to weed out the people that just want me to show my picture right away. I like to find good chat friends that I can talk to for a while. I like to play with people I can trust. I have a career to protect, but I also have needs I need to meet. I do this for entertainment. I don't want someone blackmailing me because they found out I was doing something. I also just find my imagination is sexier than real life can be sometimes.

I also set a rule for myself that if I'm not going to share a picture right away, I don't ask for one right away. Eventually, when I get to know somebody, I will probably send a picture. I don't reward perfect strangers with pictures of my genitals.

 

[Lascivity]

Because of the possibility of blackmail (which is more common and more mundane than most people think) I wouldn't be phased by it. That's their choice, and I respect it. I can totally understand why they want to keep their identity a secret.

I don't do much online chatting. But I use dating apps sometime. And, while totally respecting their reasons for not wanting to include a picture, I wouldn't communicate with anyone on those who didn't have one.