Cuckold psychology

[NapierBone]

Spoiler alert: if you're jumping into this thread looking for cuckolding fantasies to stroke to, you've come to the wrong place. This is just a speculative post relating my experience of having a cuckolding fetish for a long time, and its motivation - because it's a perplexing one (even Freud confessed to finding it puzzling, and he hardly underestimated his own intellectual capacities), and because I'm glad to be free of it now, even if it turned me on wildly for about a decade or so. There might be others who also want to be free of it.

I'm not sure when I started having cuckold fantasies - some time around when Tumblr was overflowing with Cuckold Caption threads, and well into adulthood. And when it started, it really really didn't make any sense to me. I'd had general submissive and BDSM fantasies for a long time (and still do, to some extent). But the times in my life when I'd actually been cuckolded had been horribly painful and traumatic for me.

But now there I was, fantasising not just about other men fucking my wife - but about watching it happen. About having her and sometimes her bull taunt me with how orgasmic he was making her. About how much she craved his cock. Humiliating me with the sexual ecstasy they were enjoying together and that I could never have - and seeing what she was willing to do for him and his cock (anything, anything, the more degrading the better), that she would never do for me.

Now, I don't think there was anything wrong with those fantasies, as such. I enjoyed them; there was a plentiful supply of material to keep me entertained and stroking to them; and my wife was to some extent happy to indulge them, at the level of pillow talk. But at the same time on some level it disturbed me. What was the matter with me that I was so turned on by that kind of humiliation? And wasn't the post-coital glow a little awkward, when we both knew it was my wife talking about another man being inside her that had made me cum?

And it only got more extreme over time. I went from sometimes indulging in a little MFM fantasy to having being cock-caged as my go-to orgasm image, to basically having cuckold scenarios as the only way I could cum. I even started plotting out ways of making them happen. What steps could I take to get from dirty talk to dirty reality? How would we meet bulls?

Anyway, all of this was on a long-term simmer all the way through COVID. And once the restrictions started easing I started exploring a few tentative avenues into the swinger scene, wondering if I could find what I was looking for.

And then, out of the blue, and a propos of pretty much nothing at all, it hit me: this wasn't really what I wanted. Despite the fact that the thought of other men taking my wife made me pretty much instantly hard, that wasn't my real desire.

My real desire was to be that man. The one to whose cock she was so addicted she would do anything for more of it. The one who could get away with cumming in her mouth and ass and still make her beg for more. The one who could pound her and pound her and still she would always want more.

And my problem wasn't so much that I felt inadequate to doing that (the way 'cuck' is so often used as an insult). Really, it was that that fantasy made me feel incredibly guilty. Deep down, I was convinced that there was something intrinsically humiliating and submissive in women's sexual desire, and that to be sexually satisfying for a woman was thus to humiliate and dominate. But down deep in my psyche, I didn't want to be that bad - abusive, humiliating - man. I couldn't let myself be that person.

But still - I wanted that experience. I need that sexual release, and I needed my wife to have it too. And so I simply ended up projecting that 'bad man' role onto a fantasy figure. That person would do all the evil, awful stuff; and under those conditions I could enjoy myself. As long as I wasn't, myself, that guy. As long as I was a witness, and not an agent.

And once I'd realised that basic projective medicine, the fantasies lost their hold on me. That's not to say that I stopped having them right away, or that I don't still sometimes have them now. But they stopped being so compelling and so necessary. They stopped having that power.

And slowly, over the past few months, I've started to be able to see myself in that dominant role. Have started to see how I can do that without being evil, abusive, cruel. Have begun to understand that when female sexuality is submissive or involves abnegation it doesn't require absolute degradation and mistreatment. And, of course, a woman's sexuality is often not that, or not just that.

It would be possible to psychoanalyse further. To trace this back to puritanical parents, and a formative relationship with someone who really had been seriously sexually abused. But the real point is that, if you've got a cuckold fetish - no matter how strong, no matter how recurrent - it bears examination. It might not be what you really want. And there might be a comparatively straight path through it that doesn't in the end risk your self-respect or your relationship.

That's it. That's all. I'm sure this doesn't apply to everyone. But it applies to me. And if it applies to me, there must be others out there roughly the same.

 

[Edey]

It's interesting... Thank you for that post, even if I don't have similar fantasies (and I'm gay) but it's actually a great base for a fascinating story idea as - I imagine - it can also work similarly in MM relationships!

 

[CuckGuy89]

Glad to hear that you're at the place you want to be now Very interesting topic for sure how you overcame your fantasy. I'm not sure how others feel with their hotwife/cuck fantasies, but I really want it to happen. I want to be the guy that's watching my gf in pleasure taking a large cock. As long as I'm the one she comes home to and gives a goodnight kiss to before bed.

 

[svengali_decL]

Personally I dont have a problem with sharing a compatible partner (and 3somes have been), however not being married, I have no sense of the 'cuck treatment' mentality at all.
A former liaison was leading to a more demonstrative place, but it was for her pleasure, not my 'complusion' that was tempting, tho it never quite got on. decL

 

[FantasySharer1]

Same - I don't know how others feel about I REALLY want my incestuous cuckold fantasy - my wife becoming a lover to her big brother - to be REAL.

I want to watch them fuck in my bed. I want to drink their creampie. I want to live the rest of our lives as a triad, as a second to her brother. There are reasons for this:

1. I know he's MUCH bigger than me. He could satisfy her in ways I never could and I want her to feel that pleasure. I want her to feel the pleasure of a man who LOVES HER - REALLY LOVES HER - as he and I both do - really pushing himself deep into the most pleasurable corners of her pussy and giving her every inch of pleasure she deserves.

2. I know he'd never steal her away from me and break up our marriage to go live in an incestuous life where they have to lose everything they have.

3. They are already so loving and kind and wonderful to each other.

4. I know they experimented a little when they were kids.

5. He's my best friend and I trust him.
It turns me on to know that my wife is sexually pleased by the two men who love her most in the world - myself and her brother - all the time. I would want him to have a more dominant role, having a double-right over her as both her brother and her lover.

6. The three of us are always together and have so much fun, and I just want them to enjoy each other so much and know from the bottom of my heart that they would.

It's not a dysfunction, a desire to be embarrassed or humiliated - I just love both of these human beings, one my wife, one her brother/my closest friend, and wish we could share everything.
The thought of them laughing together in my presence, making love while I help them, insert him into her, lay under them while they make love, clean up their creampies, kiss her while she gets absolutely pounded into pleasure by him, makes me full of joy. I just know that she would feel pleasure with him above and beyond anything and want that for her. I know that her love - physically and emotionally - would heal much of the hurt he has from his ex-wife. I dream every night of the idea of them making love and her waking me up in the morning dripping with his cum from her pussy, so I can eat it out of her.

All that aside is there a part of me that might enjoy being cuckolded and degraded a little? Sure. But I could do without it too. I posted the following on another thread about being humiliated as a cuckold and what I would enjoy from it:
-----------------------------------------

I wish this was exactly the case with my wife and her brother. That I have never, ever known her body without her brother's scent on it, her brother's cum in her pussy, and her brother having made her cum before me. Every drop of her pussy juice into my mouth, ever, had her brother's semen mixed with it. In a way, I have never actually had her, without him.

Imagine rubbing her feet when she's pregnant, eating her pussy, massaging her back, getting her ice cream - all when the baby inside her womb in fact belongs to her brother. He claimed her before any man outside the family could. You can still have children with her but his baby will always be her firstborn. He'll always be the first one who made her milk flow by impregnating her. The first one to make her bear his seed. So fucking hot.

I love the idea of spraying load after load of cum into my wife's pregnant pussy, only to know that the act is futile - for during those months - another man owns her womb and it's her brother.
The idea of her never saying no to him is beautiful. She might say no to me. I'm a newcomer to her life. A stranger who became her husband. He is her very blood. Her big brother. Her protector since birth. He was there before me. She never, ever says no to him.

She might tell me she is too tired when I try to make the moves on her in our marital bed. But then, he walks in, having let himself into our home. He merely looks at her while he takes off his shirt, and she immediately begins to take off her panties. He doesn't need to ask and she cannot say no. I watch laying next to her, my cock in my hand as he mounts my wife - no words or guilt from her because saying no to me is her right, but saying yes to him is his birthright.

They fuck for an hour, she largely ignores me, letting me touch her breasts or kiss her body but her eyes and her tongue and her focus are entirely on her big brother - a little sister getting violated by her first man. She screams and moans as he pounds her, harder than I possibly could, all her tiredness giving way to lust. Finally when he fills her pussy with his cum and she screams his name while squirting all over him, she finally orgasms for what seems like minutes. Then she remembers that I exist and points to her pussy.

"Clean me up honey" she says, and I oblige, licking and sucking their joint, incestuous perfect creampie out of her pussy. I can barely contain my own orgasm as I jack off and she invites me in to add to her brother's offering. I barely last 30 seconds and she can barely feel me.


He wraps her in his arms as she settles into his embrace, his massive cock sticking between her thighs and nestling against her pussy. I spoon her from behind, unable to avoid the fact that she is my wife, but she is HIS woman in every way.

I also love the idea of their romance. Their sweet whispers, their little jokes and laughs, their quiet dreams and tickles. To see it before my eyes when I see them in bed naked after a morning fuck. Their secrets that they keep from me because it belongs to a brother and sister who are lovers, no one else.
How she lets me fuck her pussy, but only lets her brother fuck her ass. Every moment I see her beautiful ass, kiss it, lick it, touch it, grab it, I know that the buns are mine to touch but her actual asshole, the tight receptacle that rewards cock with its grip, is only for her brother. Even when I'm fucking her from behind I can thumb her asshole but never fuck it. It's for him, for big brother only. It is fitting because I am only her lover/husband. He is both her lover and her brother - so he deserves to have one extra right over me.

Her beautiful puckered hole reminds me all the time even when I'm eating her pussy or doing her doggystyle - "This part of me belongs to another man, never you."

I'd love if they talk about my sex life with her, privately. She tells her brother what I'm good at and what I'm not so good at. He then proceeds to gives me tips on how to please my wife better. How to make her moan louder, how to make her squirm. I'm ever HIS student at pleasing my wife's body because his experience both in terms of years fucking my wife and number of weekly sexual encounters even today, outnumber mine.

He tells me that she likes her nipple sucked while cumming, that she likes to be fucked in a certain way or angle. I learn a little from him every day on how to please her and whenever I'm not up to par, she lets him know so that he can instruct me better, man to man.

Her pubic grooming is 100% his preference. When she shaves, trims, waxes, and what shape she shaves in, is entirely based on his requests. She has told me this - that she will do whatever he says in terms of her pubic hair. It's been like this since she's had pubic hair so how could I dare get in the way of their sibling relationship? It's theirs, not mine.

Whenever her period ends every month, I'm never the first to cum inside her. It's always her brother first, then me. Because it is not right that my semen enter her pussy unless his already there first. It's a monthly ritual for us, the monthly re-taking of her vagina by her big brother. I kiss her pussy and his cockhead, and place his cock into my wife with my own hands, kissing the spot where they join and watching as he reclaims her every month.

She doesn't change her last name to mine. She keeps her old one and actually adds his first name as her middle to show his dominance in her life.

 

[muycurioso]

if a person dates a married woman with or without her husband knowing if he licks her he is prob tasting at least a little of the other mans cum.

 

[Lady2020]

IDK. The cuckold thing is not something I understand or want to understand. I guess I'm traditional. I can't get over the idea that any man would think it's cool to watch his partner with someone else and get off on it. It's more of a boundary issue. What's yours, you protect and respect. When I was editing Lit stories there was a Lit author who tried to talk me into editing his stories, which were all cuck/bad wives stories. I flat out told him no. He couldn't understand. Anyway, do what you want, but respect those who just aren't into what you're into is my motto.

 

[FantasySharer1]

IDK. The cuckold thing is not something I understand or want to understand. I guess I'm traditional. I can't get over the idea that any man would think it's cool to watch his partner with someone else and get off on it. It's more of a boundary issue. What's yours, you protect and respect. When I was editing Lit stories there was a Lit author who tried to talk me into editing his stories, which were all cuck/bad wives stories. I flat out told him no. He couldn't understand. Anyway, do what you want, but respect those who just aren't into what you're into is my motto.

That's understandable and completely fair.

But where do you feel people are not respecting that you're not into this? Just the author?

 

[Lady2020]

That's understandable and completely fair.

But where do you feel people are not respecting that you're not into this? Just the author?

Generally.

 

[CuttingEdge]

I have found many people that have a cuckolding fantasy, in the relationship, or in previous ones: were cheated on.

Cuckolding for these people has appeal because it is coming to understand that they cannot dictate the actions of another person, no matter how much they love them. Cuckolding gives a sense of control. Knowing their wife is with another person takes away that emotional sting; they know what is happening, they know where and when; in that they feel some semblance of not being blind-sided again.

Many do not understand it because they think a husband does not love his wife if he lets her do that, but that is not the case at all; he actually loves her very, very much. He just has been very hurt, either with that wife having an affair earlier in their marriage, or in a previous marriage.

This same logic applies to a husband who does not feel he deserves his wife. It could be in attractiveness, intelligence, or any other number of reasons he feels rather inferior. There is this sense of feeling that she is going to leave him, or cheat on him, so by setting up a cuckolding experience (or fantasying about it), they have a sense of control and will not be blind-sided. It is why often times there is a humiliation aspect to their cuckolding or cuckolding fantasy.

(Note: cuckolding can be more than just husband and wife, as a lot of relationships can involve cuckolding. In the interest of brevity, and the ease of reading I did not include all possibilities in my text. I limited it only to husband and wife, but know it could be girlfriend/boyfriend, or boyfriend/boyfriend, etc. I meant no disrespect to other types of relationships).

 

[Luganis]

And then, out of the blue, and a propos of pretty much nothing at all, it hit me: this wasn't really what I wanted. Despite the fact that the thought of other men taking my wife made me pretty much instantly hard, that wasn't my real desire.

You totally nailed it. Deep down, you want to be the bull, while you feel inadequate. That's why you need such strong contrast in the fantasy.

And so I simply ended up projecting that 'bad man' role onto a fantasy figure. That person would do all the evil, awful stuff; and under those conditions I could enjoy myself. As long as I wasn't, myself, that guy. As long as I was a witness, and not an agent.

The reason is quite obvious, Hollywood has drilled the mind of men and women about roles and expectations

It would be possible to psychoanalyse further. To trace this back to puritanical parents, and a formative relationship with someone who really had been seriously sexually abused.

This may explain why cuckolding seems to be more popular among Conservatives and Republicans (this is an observation made by a hard Republican in this lifestyle: their ethical cheating vs the cheating).

I won’t say that everyone is the same.

There are some cases, where it is actually an act of love when the man has lost the possibility of fulfilling the sexual needs of the partner because of a health condition, and he still wants her to enjoy what he is no longer capable of providing. I doubt that this is more than 10% of the cuckolding cases.

I think that nowadays Cuckolding as a kink, has reached mainstream,am media, and became a trend, something many men want to feel. There’s something deep down in the human psyche that the same frustration most women feel with their bodies (being fat, cellulitis, wrinkles, looking old, breast size) is very similar in the case of men: the sense of the inadequacy of the penis, testicles and body musculature, stamina).

I personally see cheating with or without permission, the same is cheating. Do I criticize it? Contrary to what pro-cuckolding may think, cheating without permission centres on the need of the cheater, not on the cheated. Even in the case of the ones that are being cheated knowing the reality and keeping the secret is better than the case of the one who asks for permission or asks to be cheated.
Obviously, this is my point of view, maybe because I’m from and older generation and culture.

And as a liberal, everyone is entitled to live their lives they want as long as that doesn't affect the life of others. So whoever wants to be into this lifestyle is up to them as long as that doesn't harm others.

 

[powderhoundbanff]

Spoiler alert: if you're jumping into this thread looking for cuckolding fantasies to stroke to, you've come to the wrong place. This is just a speculative post relating my experience of having a cuckolding fetish for a long time, and its motivation - because it's a perplexing one (even Freud confessed to finding it puzzling, and he hardly underestimated his own intellectual capacities), and because I'm glad to be free of it now, even if it turned me on wildly for about a decade or so. There might be others who also want to be free of it.

I'm not sure when I started having cuckold fantasies - some time around when Tumblr was overflowing with Cuckold Caption threads, and well into adulthood. And when it started, it really really didn't make any sense to me. I'd had general submissive and BDSM fantasies for a long time (and still do, to some extent). But the times in my life when I'd actually been cuckolded had been horribly painful and traumatic for me.

But now there I was, fantasising not just about other men fucking my wife - but about watching it happen. About having her and sometimes her bull taunt me with how orgasmic he was making her. About how much she craved his cock. Humiliating me with the sexual ecstasy they were enjoying together and that I could never have - and seeing what she was willing to do for him and his cock (anything, anything, the more degrading the better), that she would never do for me.

Now, I don't think there was anything wrong with those fantasies, as such. I enjoyed them; there was a plentiful supply of material to keep me entertained and stroking to them; and my wife was to some extent happy to indulge them, at the level of pillow talk. But at the same time on some level it disturbed me. What was the matter with me that I was so turned on by that kind of humiliation? And wasn't the post-coital glow a little awkward, when we both knew it was my wife talking about another man being inside her that had made me cum?

And it only got more extreme over time. I went from sometimes indulging in a little MFM fantasy to having being cock-caged as my go-to orgasm image, to basically having cuckold scenarios as the only way I could cum. I even started plotting out ways of making them happen. What steps could I take to get from dirty talk to dirty reality? How would we meet bulls?

Anyway, all of this was on a long-term simmer all the way through COVID. And once the restrictions started easing I started exploring a few tentative avenues into the swinger scene, wondering if I could find what I was looking for.

And then, out of the blue, and a propos of pretty much nothing at all, it hit me: this wasn't really what I wanted. Despite the fact that the thought of other men taking my wife made me pretty much instantly hard, that wasn't my real desire.

My real desire was to be that man. The one to whose cock she was so addicted she would do anything for more of it. The one who could get away with cumming in her mouth and ass and still make her beg for more. The one who could pound her and pound her and still she would always want more.

And my problem wasn't so much that I felt inadequate to doing that (the way 'cuck' is so often used as an insult). Really, it was that that fantasy made me feel incredibly guilty. Deep down, I was convinced that there was something intrinsically humiliating and submissive in women's sexual desire, and that to be sexually satisfying for a woman was thus to humiliate and dominate. But down deep in my psyche, I didn't want to be that bad - abusive, humiliating - man. I couldn't let myself be that person.

But still - I wanted that experience. I need that sexual release, and I needed my wife to have it too. And so I simply ended up projecting that 'bad man' role onto a fantasy figure. That person would do all the evil, awful stuff; and under those conditions I could enjoy myself. As long as I wasn't, myself, that guy. As long as I was a witness, and not an agent.

And once I'd realised that basic projective medicine, the fantasies lost their hold on me. That's not to say that I stopped having them right away, or that I don't still sometimes have them now. But they stopped being so compelling and so necessary. They stopped having that power.

And slowly, over the past few months, I've started to be able to see myself in that dominant role. Have started to see how I can do that without being evil, abusive, cruel. Have begun to understand that when female sexuality is submissive or involves abnegation it doesn't require absolute degradation and mistreatment. And, of course, a woman's sexuality is often not that, or not just that.

It would be possible to psychoanalyse further. To trace this back to puritanical parents, and a formative relationship with someone who really had been seriously sexually abused. But the real point is that, if you've got a cuckold fetish - no matter how strong, no matter how recurrent - it bears examination. It might not be what you really want. And there might be a comparatively straight path through it that doesn't in the end risk your self-respect or your relationship.

That's it. That's all. I'm sure this doesn't apply to everyone. But it applies to me. And if it applies to me, there must be others out there roughly the same.

Thank you for sharing your insights. I think there’s a lot to what you discovered. I hope you and your wife can untangle this and figure out how to repurpose your fantasy to a narrative that is incredibly hot and also very sensitive, respectful, and loving. Surely there must be a way to make an incredibly powerful erotic story

 

[Trouman]

I read somewhere that when a young man of formative years — 17, 18 — finds himself repeatedly invited into the bed of a woman as her secret sidepiece, he considers himself very fortunate and has many sublime experiences with her, even though another man is her real lover. That experience becomes normalized, likely without the young man even thinking about it.
Eventually the young man drifts away. Eventually he marries, and eventually, after the honeymoon is over, he begins to feel that there is something missing from his sex life. And yes, it's the thrill of having another man's woman. And he finds when he masturbates that the fantasy that gets him over the hump always involves her and a penis not his own. And just guess which one his sweet bride prefers? Which one turns her into a fucking animal?
This analysis hit me hard, because it has been my life exactly. You've heard of men having sex who imagine their wives are somebody else? Guys like me imagine we're somebody else — the neighbour or her boss or our friend or a complete stranger — and she's loving it.
I once tried to get her interested in the cuckold lifestyle, but she's far too straight. How I'd love to share a cock with her! (Dream on . . .)
And now I'm wondering if that's what made me gay, or if I was gay already. Another kid had already introduced me to the joys of another guy's cock before I ever had a date with a girl. I've tried to be straight but I give up.

 

[AdamPhoenix]

I have found many people that have a cuckolding fantasy, in the relationship, or in previous ones: were cheated on.

Cuckolding for these people has appeal because it is coming to understand that they cannot dictate the actions of another person, no matter how much they love them. Cuckolding gives a sense of control. Knowing their wife is with another person takes away that emotional sting; they know what is happening, they know where and when; in that they feel some semblance of not being blind-sided again.

Many do not understand it because they think a husband does not love his wife if he lets her do that, but that is not the case at all; he actually loves her very, very much. He just has been very hurt, either with that wife having an affair earlier in their marriage, or in a previous marriage.

This same logic applies to a husband who does not feel he deserves his wife. It could be in attractiveness, intelligence, or any other number of reasons he feels rather inferior. There is this sense of feeling that she is going to leave him, or cheat on him, so by setting up a cuckolding experience (or fantasying about it), they have a sense of control and will not be blind-sided. It is why often times there is a humiliation aspect to their cuckolding or cuckolding fantasy.

(Note: cuckolding can be more than just husband and wife, as a lot of relationships can involve cuckolding. In the interest of brevity, and the ease of reading I did not include all possibilities in my text. I limited it only to husband and wife, but know it could be girlfriend/boyfriend, or boyfriend/boyfriend, etc. I meant no disrespect to other types of relationships).

Thanks for your post. Before my wife was my wife...actually the first time I met her she was with another guy. I met her at his birthday party. We played on the same sports team, he was the big bad boy type, he had a massive cock to boot. Anyhow, I gave them a ride home from the bar that night and they made out in my back seat. He ended up moving away shortly after that and we hooked up. I ended up finding out that she was hung up on him fairly badly and I had found various emails/texts of her and his. She cheated on me one night that he came back to town and a friend said he saw them kissing at a club. I was very angry about it and confronted her about it buy she denied it. We were young. Crazy times. We were together for a couple years tgrn broke up a while after, after I'd lost a close family member. We then got back together a year or so later after I'd moved away. It had been 7 years since meeting her. We'd been through a lot together and I decided to ask her to marry me. At that point I never had cuck fantasies. After we'd been married for nearly 10 years and had 3 kids together, I found out through suspiciously looking at her phone and found that she'd been messaging her high-school boyfriend who I at that point learned she'd had an abortion with but certainly wasn't cheating on me. She admitted he told her that he wished he'd pursued her harder...that comment bugged me. It was this point in time where I was feeling vulnerable and insecure that my cuck fantasies took a grip on me. Once in bed shortly after I was eroticizing/fantasizing to her about getting fucked by another man,...and she said his name as she came. That moment turned me on extremely. It did in a way make me feel insecure also so I asked her. She said it was just in the moment and she doesn't actually want him. Lol...now years later, we've come out of the very young children phase of life into the young children phase..*****'s still hectic but a little less intense. Just today we fucked in our sex swing, me wearing a fairly large cock sleeve/extension that she really enjoys. She only likes it until she comes and then I take it off and finish inside her always to her wishes. I admit that only hours ago, while fucking her, I shared a fantasy of sharing her with a man or two. She has enjoyed the fantasy in the past but only when seriously turned on. I am still very turned on by the thought of her being with another man. My knowledge of it and her honestly of the experience is my desire. Sharing her sounds fun also but secretly watching her getting taken by one or more well endowed men seriously turns me on. I won't lie, it's become a bit of an obsession. I have stopped talking about it as much with her because she continues to claim its not something she wants to do, nor does she feel like the real thing would actually be as good as the fantasies of doing it. I feel like I'm in a closet so thank you for your thoughts. Please feel free to be honest with me. I am learning that cuck fantasies are fairly common but I am also learning that they likely come from an origin of insecurity be it from absent parents to being cheated on. I want to believe my wife when she tells me over and over that I alone satisfy her but I can't help but feel like I somehow know something that she doesn't, how good it would feel to be fucked by one of her well endowed exs or another large, well hung, classy man. I completely check all boxes of a cuck. Even though I'm 6' tall, a muscular 250lbs, little body fat and a 7 inch errection, I still see my wife helpless to a larger man fucking her in her stairwell at work and her bringing his scent and seed home to me to ravish. At this point, I'm treading water in cuck fantasies, trying desperately to stop my insecure thoughts of her cheating on me behind my back and creating/dreaming up these scenarios where she fucks other men and cheats on me with my consent so I can enjoy either watching or her telling me the details. I've started writing out my fantasies and have found it to be very helpful. I can still secretly share my wife without her knowledge of it. I love this site and it's amazing stories, forums and content. Very grateful to have someone to write this to. I haven't shared this information with a soul other than my wife so Thanks! and looks like I'm another verification of your cuck theory. I'm still liking it but being educated is never a bad thing.

 

[ILikeIt]

My wife cheated on me, with a work friend, two years into our marriage. I was a jealous person. I didn’t even like to watch her flirt with other guys let alone fuck them. I was not aware of her cheating when it happened. She confessed to me several years later. We stayed together and have been married for forty years. When she told me I was devestated. I was tormented by the images I’d conjure up of what they did. It bothered me deeply for months and for years afterwards it continued but not as bad. The pain of it did finally diminish but it took a long time. Now when I think of it I get aroused. I sometimes masturbate fantasizing of them together. I did some reading on the subject and the best explanation I could find for my fantasy is that the mind will eroticize trauma as coping mechanism. I think this is why I get turned on by the thought of her fucking him. As I said when she confessed I was fucked up for a long time. Decades later I’m jacking off to images of her and him having all kinds of kinky sex.

 

[MaxwellSmart86]

I don't have an issue with another man and/or woman pleasuring my wife. I'd enjoy watching and/or participating as well. The key thing being that I am not being humiliated, talked down to, degraded, etc. that often goes along with being cucked. That is a major hard boundary for me. Growing up, I was often the kid that got picked on for being too small, too weak, teacher's pet, etc. and so any sort of behavior like that is a trigger for me.

 

[ILikeIt]

I feel the same way. Her doing it was enough but then add humiliation to it seems rubbing it in too much.

 

[Mike130]

I’ve had cuck fantasies for a while now. I guess it started while watching my ex girlfriend fucking another guy at a sex club long ago. Watched her have sex with a few guys and it really got me aroused. Shortly after, I met my future wife, who was married when we started fucking. Shortly after she divorced and she got an apartment. I was pretty faithful during our dating period, but she confessed to having an affair. After we were married she also confessed to fucking a few other guys, one night she did two guys. We talk about these affairs during lovemaking and her fantasy is to have two guys at once, like she did when we were dating.

So I’ve seen it from both sides, being a bull and being a cuck to my wife.

Honestly I don’t know the psychology of our desires.
Guilt at fucking her when she was married?
The voyeristic thought of her having an affair and wanting to watch it?
The curiosity of wanting to see how she performs with another man?
Thoughts that I might be inadequate and a better lover might bring her to a higher peak of exctacy?
Need to see her satiated because I love her?

Maybe a bit of all of these…

But I never was into the abusive part, or humiliation, or BDSM.

For me, I never looked more deeply than that. It just seems like another form of sex. Another position, if you will. A threesome. Guess everyone is different based on the previous experiences that led to this point

 

[DevilInDetail]

I also have come to reflect on the fact that I fetishised cuckolding as a way of processing my first love cheating on me after 10 years together. But I don't think that is the whole story.

Quite early in our relationship we fantasised about her with other girls and she was very into it.
She also raised the concept of her having other men and I was surprisingly OK with it - I think I found the idea of a girl being with multiple men somehow empowering for her and extra naughty. She also fantasised about watching me fuck her female friends.

But I think I thought of cuckolding more during the time when we were studying in different cities, and I had suspicions. But never linked the two, and we had all sorts of different fantasies that we shared, and started to explore the possibility of swinging, a big thing as we both lost our virginity together as teenagers.

Years down the line she confessed to cheating on me, and stated that it was my fault as I had shared cuckold fantasies therefore what was she supposed to do. I wasn't happy about it, as they were always talked about in the context of fantasy, and that I'd always been there as a voyeur. Over the years since then, cuckolding has evolved to my primary fetish, and I think they are linked.

That relationship was never the same, but we did widen our previously unsuccessful search for a single bi girl to join us, to include couples, which worked. I had held on to an insecure inability to grant acceptance that we could swing with another guy, but after her indiscretion I had no qualms. By then we must have been in our mid to late 20s. As much as I was ready to involve another girl, when it came down to it watching her with a guy felt strangely natural also.

We did that with a number of couples we met via swinging websites. My cuck fetish had grown and we did talk about doing a specific hotwife/bull/cuck voyeur thing, but somehow it was her that then got cold feet over the situation.

That relationship ended and I think I came out of it with an unfulfilled voyeur fantasy. I had other fantasies too, but acted them out with a combination of subsequent girlfriends and escorts, several times over.

But the cuck thing remains, in part I suspect because I never did it. I suspect through too much porn, it's now almost exclusively interracial fantasies. I also find my fantasies overlap with other kinks, like group sex, my mildly sub side involving bondage/humiliation, hot outfits, home movies. I enjoy roleplay and find I can cram such things in. I think breaking societies imposed values to be part of the turn on too.

I am also cognisant of my own status. I know I am particularly short for a man, and not a muscular build. Women never really go for me, but what I do have to my advantage is a particularly successful career, a caring nature. I once dated a psychologist who told me that I have very obvious traits as a competitive person, and I think somehow that plays into it.

In my fantasies the hotwife is very slutty, and attracts the attention of men who are the opposite of me in terms of not being successful financially but have the physical attributes I don't possess, and can't actually compete with.

 

[CEOescape]

This topic is so interesting and relevant to me. Through the years my wife and have had a great time together including sexual. I have always been aroused by her telling about her past lovers.
Sharing her was and is such a strong feeling. It started with fiends telling me how sexy and wholesome she is.at the same time seeing her natural ability to flirt and say thing that always turn them on.

Because of an accident I was restricted some and always founded it extremely it hard to climax .

The first was my very best friend for years. He and his wife had been my friend long before my marriage. She had medical problems which caused weight problems and drive her into a state of not bein able to go outside easily. She was very sexual and open allowing him the freedom to enjoy him self with then reading and viewing sexually explicate material . and
together fantasized in bed together. I did not know it at the time was her fantasy was me.

When I married he was a fixture with us. The friendship built between then an we all joked that She had to husbands.. the bedtime fantasies built and she would orgasm every time we play that situation in our minds.
I LOVED IT and she felt excided knowing i was so turned on,
I loved seeing her excited knowing he was coming over, I loved seeing the interaction between them. I loved hearing and seeing the teasing me about what they will do and my role wih them.
The day they crossed the line and started her sexual relationship.. change our world completely. I was not jealous at all and wanted o know everting . she would spend so much time with us masturbating each other while he told me every detail \

Am I a cuck husband?``````````````` Hell i don't know!

 

[Mike130]

I also have come to reflect on the fact that I fetishised cuckolding as a way of processing my first love cheating on me after 10 years together. But I don't think that is the whole story.

Quite early in our relationship we fantasised about her with other girls and she was very into it.
She also raised the concept of her having other men and I was surprisingly OK with it - I think I found the idea of a girl being with multiple men somehow empowering for her and extra naughty. She also fantasised about watching me fuck her female friends.

But I think I thought of cuckolding more during the time when we were studying in different cities, and I had suspicions. But never linked the two, and we had all sorts of different fantasies that we shared, and started to explore the possibility of swinging, a big thing as we both lost our virginity together as teenagers.

Years down the line she confessed to cheating on me, and stated that it was my fault as I had shared cuckold fantasies therefore what was she supposed to do. I wasn't happy about it, as they were always talked about in the context of fantasy, and that I'd always been there as a voyeur. Over the years since then, cuckolding has evolved to my primary fetish, and I think they are linked.

That relationship was never the same, but we did widen our previously unsuccessful search for a single bi girl to join us, to include couples, which worked. I had held on to an insecure inability to grant acceptance that we could swing with another guy, but after her indiscretion I had no qualms. By then we must have been in our mid to late 20s. As much as I was ready to involve another girl, when it came down to it watching her with a guy felt strangely natural also.

We did that with a number of couples we met via swinging websites. My cuck fetish had grown and we did talk about doing a specific hotwife/bull/cuck voyeur thing, but somehow it was her that then got cold feet over the situation.

That relationship ended and I think I came out of it with an unfulfilled voyeur fantasy. I had other fantasies too, but acted them out with a combination of subsequent girlfriends and escorts, several times over.

But the cuck thing remains, in part I suspect because I never did it. I suspect through too much porn, it's now almost exclusively interracial fantasies. I also find my fantasies overlap with other kinks, like group sex, my mildly sub side involving bondage/humiliation, hot outfits, home movies. I enjoy roleplay and find I can cram such things in. I think breaking societies imposed values to be part of the turn on too.

I am also cognisant of my own status. I know I am particularly short for a man, and not a muscular build. Women never really go for me, but what I do have to my advantage is a particularly successful career, a caring nature. I once dated a psychologist who told me that I have very obvious traits as a competitive person, and I think somehow that plays into it.

In my fantasies the hotwife is very slutty, and attracts the attention of men who are the opposite of me in terms of not being successful financially but have the physical attributes I don't possess, and can't actually compete with.

Don’t put yourself down because you are short! Tom Cruise, and Dudley Moore (of the previous generation) were both sex symbols and short, some women have a fetish for short men, some don’t care, and some like taller men. Fact is, there’s probably somebody for everyone if we look hard enough. And all women like successful men, so be confident of your strengths.

All of us have our issues. I’m tall, but my hair is thinning. Then I look at Jeff Bezos and see the chick he landed with no hair (but a much fatter wallet). Point is, I don’t know one person, man or woman who is totally happy with their looks. Women I don’t think are as interested in physical or visual aspects as we men are. Interesting, confident, and funny count for a lot.

 

[muycurioso]

I read somewhere that when a young man of formative years — 17, 18 — finds himself repeatedly invited into the bed of a woman as her secret sidepiece, he considers himself very fortunate and has many sublime experiences with her, even though another man is her real lover. That experience becomes normalized, likely without the young man even thinking about it.
Eventually the young man drifts away. Eventually he marries, and eventually, after the honeymoon is over, he begins to feel that there is something missing from his sex life. And yes, it's the thrill of having another man's woman. And he finds when he masturbates that the fantasy that gets him over the hump always involves her and a penis not his own. And just guess which one his sweet bride prefers? Which one turns her into a fucking animal?
This analysis hit me hard, because it has been my life exactly. You've heard of men having sex who imagine their wives are somebody else? Guys like me imagine we're somebody else — the neighbour or her boss or our friend or a complete stranger — and she's loving it.
I once tried to get her interested in the cuckold lifestyle, but she's far too straight. How I'd love to share a cock with her! (Dream on . . .)
And now I'm wondering if that's what made me gay, or if I was gay already. Another kid had already introduced me to the joys of another guy's cock before I ever had a date with a girl. I've tried to be straight but I give up.

I gave up trying to get one date.

 

[IronCross]

I have found many people that have a cuckolding fantasy, in the relationship, or in previous ones: were cheated on.

Cuckolding for these people has appeal because it is coming to understand that they cannot dictate the actions of another person, no matter how much they love them. Cuckolding gives a sense of control. Knowing their wife is with another person takes away that emotional sting; they know what is happening, they know where and when; in that they feel some semblance of not being blind-sided again.

Many do not understand it because they think a husband does not love his wife if he lets her do that, but that is not the case at all; he actually loves her very, very much. He just has been very hurt, either with that wife having an affair earlier in their marriage, or in a previous marriage.

This same logic applies to a husband who does not feel he deserves his wife. It could be in attractiveness, intelligence, or any other number of reasons he feels rather inferior. There is this sense of feeling that she is going to leave him, or cheat on him, so by setting up a cuckolding experience (or fantasying about it), they have a sense of control and will not be blind-sided. It is why often times there is a humiliation aspect to their cuckolding or cuckolding fantasy.

(Note: cuckolding can be more than just husband and wife, as a lot of relationships can involve cuckolding. In the interest of brevity, and the ease of reading I did not include all possibilities in my text. I limited it only to husband and wife, but know it could be girlfriend/boyfriend, or boyfriend/boyfriend, etc. I meant no disrespect to other types of relationships).

Great thread! I realize this wasn't started very recently, but I thank and commend NapierBone for starting it and being very straightforward about your own personal journey with this and it's obvious that you looked deep inside yourself to gain an understanding of where you were at with it. I trust you've found your way to what best works for you and wish you well.........Plenty of good input from everyone and I've enjoyed the read.

Thank you for your input here, CuttingEdge, as it gives me the motivation to consider some things that I hadn't given thought to before. As you've suggested, my first wife cheated on me and I'm following your theories that are thought provoking and more than reasonable. Very interesting and sure seem to be on point. "Enlightening" seems an appropriate way to describe it for me. Thank you & Everyone!

 

[magic_rat]

I can't get over the idea that any man would think it's cool to watch his partner with someone else and get off on it. It's more of a boundary issue. What's yours, you protect and respect.

That's where a lot of people differ. I've played the cuck game (long story, mostly in my head, a kind of coping mechanism) and I'm now in an ethical non monogamy (ENM) relationship with a lovely lady who enjoys variety and is cool with me being the same. We both fuck other people, sometimes together as a 3 or 4, sometimes apart. We enjoy it and our relationship is strengthened by it, not threatened.

Our boundaries are in a different place to yours. Protecting and respecting my partner (not my property as you suggest) just happens in different ways.

 

[YourSecretDesires]

I don't mind a threesome but have no desire for humiliation or lowering my status in a trio. I think it's the subjugation that just doesn't fit with me.