No Nut 19

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Day 126: No orgasms.

I've been feeling pretty neglected by and invisible to many people in my life recently. I'm also at a good place with no nut again, and despite the crazy going on in my life I've actually felt really turned on a lot of the time.

Feeling neglected and turned on is not a good combo. It might be if I was more okay with just embracing the needy, but I'm not. Now I'm just very shyly trying to keep things going and putting a stupid amount of effort into everything while also trying to make it look like I'm cool and not at all desperate. It's not a good look on me.

But I'm really happy no nut doesn't feel like a chore now. It's a lot more difficult now again than it was a few weeks ago, but I'm happy about it. I'd rather have it like this, because at least now it feels like there's a point to this whole exercise.

Still miss asking for things. Still miss being told no. Still miss being told yes.

I think that, too, is at least in part tied to the whole feeling invisible to everybody thing going on in my life.
 
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Quotation of the day from The Economist:

One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.
-Sigmund Freud


Aww, Sigmund, my boy. He sure knew what's what. Although I don't think I'll do No Nut 20, so it's just a year of struggle for me, not years. But whatever. Reading it made me smile.
 
I was just going through the guest closet, looking for something that I'd lost, when I realized I was into a former gf's stash of my clothes. Thought of you, Cookie. Some of us dig that.

If you find my girly girl heart in there, let me know. :eek:
 
I've just stumbled across this - it's quite an extraordinary thread, fascinating to scroll back through.
 
Better coffee than AA? Yes, because I serve Irish coffee and everything's better with whisky! Except beer, probably.
That's because it is a shot glass of whisky dropped in the mug of beer!
It use to be called a Boiler-Maker.
 
I've just stumbled across this - it's quite an extraordinary thread, fascinating to scroll back through.

Feels extraordinarily stupid a lot of the time, but hey, I totally get the fascination in that, too!



And I'd be totally up for whisky flavored toothpaste, but what do I know.
 
Seela your resolve is admirable. I've done some hard things in life (been one too :D) and I would failed the first week. I really hope next year is multiple O 20 :)
 
Seela your resolve is admirable. I've done some hard things in life (been one too :D) and I would failed the first week. I really hope next year is multiple O 20 :)

I think I've said it before, I'm pretty good at doing what's told, but I seriously lack resolve and self-discipline. Left to my own devices I probably would have had 2019 orgasms this year already, or thereabout. I definitely would have given up on this project in February at the latest if it were just me who decided to do this.

2020 seems very far away. :)
 
I think I've said it before, I'm pretty good at doing what's told, but I seriously lack resolve and self-discipline. Left to my own devices I probably would have had 2019 orgasms this year already, or thereabout. I definitely would have given up on this project in February at the latest if it were just me who decided to do this.

2020 seems very far away. :)

Haha, well that is an admirable trait. I can't say I have the same. But, perhaps that is a fundamental different in the life lol. I wonder how ma y I've had this year now......

2020 is coming. Won't be long.
 
I know 2020 is coming. But really at the moment the only thing I can focus on is surviving one more week of the mayhem that's been my life this spring.

So close now. So fucking close! Then I'll probably implode and cry for a week straight.


Day 130: The drippage is strong this morning. Nuff said. In a way it's a pretty good thing tumblr is no more in the sense that it used to.
 
Oops, been a while since an update.

Day 143: The struggle is real, y'all. But almost 40% through the year!
 
Day 150: That's a nice, round number! Such mixed feelings about this whole endeavor again.

On one hand the struggle is nice even if it leads me to do things I might regret later on. Sometimes I really need that distraction. On the other hand I feel like a year is such a long time and I've probably already gotten out of this everything I can when it comes to physical sensations and emotions. So what's the point going forward besides bragging rights? And this is hardly something to brag about in the first place.

It's a roller coaster and definitely amplifies everything, good and bad. I've learned a lot about myself this year!
 
Day 150: That's a nice, round number! Such mixed feelings about this whole endeavor again.

On one hand the struggle is nice even if it leads me to do things I might regret later on. Sometimes I really need that distraction. On the other hand I feel like a year is such a long time and I've probably already gotten out of this everything I can when it comes to physical sensations and emotions. So what's the point going forward besides bragging rights? And this is hardly something to brag about in the first place.

It's a roller coaster and definitely amplifies everything, good and bad. I've learned a lot about myself this year!


For what it's worth, my philosophy has always been:

Never miss an opportunity to orgasm!

 
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