Newbie's Guide to the AH

[wishfulthinking]

We've done this before, but should we do a revival thread?

You know, the usual suspects, including:

* AH = Author's Hangout

* It can take 7-14 days for the Lit Gods That Be to approve a story/poem. [you are expected to have at least 1 nervous break down during this time while fully understanding that the world unfortunately does not revolve around your brilliant story/poem]

* Lit Gods That Be = Laurel and Manu

* Once it is approved, you'll be checking your scores every 20 to 60 mins [if not, you're not doing it right! ]

etc. What do you reckon?

 

[Aurora Black]

Don't enter a Lit contest without full Kevlar gear.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

BJ's do NOT get you votes in Lit contests

 

[rachlou]

lets not forget the Trolls..

 

[rockersex]

I'm an experienced writer. This is how you cope:

* It can take 7-14 days for the Lit Gods That Be to approve a story/poem. [you are expected to have at least 1 nervous break down during this time while fully understanding that the world unfortunately does not revolve around your brilliant story/poem]

Believe it or not, Literotica is not the only erotic fiction site in the world. If they reject you, you can shop it around to anywhere else. And if no one takes it, you probably have tons of stories/ideas floating around. An experienced author is used to rejection. Rejection is not the end of the world. Rejection does not mean your piece is bad, it's just not what they're looking for right now.

* Once it is approved, you'll be checking your scores every 20 to 60 mins [if not, you're not doing it right! ]

I don't really check the scores on my stories because what other people think does not matter. I am happy with what I write. It is not dependant on the approval of others, especially total strangers. If they like it, then it's cool. If they don't, who cares? There's no harm done. You should write for you and no one else.

 

[scheherazade_79]

The Zade Welcome Pack

Welcome to the AH!


1. Always leave the toilet seat in the down position - there's a very strong lesbian contingent on this forum, and they're kind of choosy about what gets them wet.
2. Feel free to throw a hissy fit and leave at any time, but bear in mind that in a couple of days when your rage has subsided, you'll get bored and probably come back, so try not to say anything too regretable.
3. Threads are like the staircases in Harry Potter movies. You remember where they are, but when you find a use for them they've usually disappeared.
4. Although no one would ever be prepared to admit it, the AH is primarily a tool of procrastination - something you do when really you should be writing that besteller. Kind of like tidying your desk, but ultimately more gratifying.
5. You might see yourself as being 'different' at this moment in time, and might start getting paranoid thoughts that everyone on the board is banging everyone else, and you're not a part of it. You're right. Being new absolutely sucks
6. Do not display the colour pink in Abstrusions. Doing so will lead to a very slow and painful death.
7. There are fewer people on the AH than you realise. Lots of people have an alt(ernative identity). Psychologists call it 'multiple personality disorder'. Here we just see it as being really, really creative.
8. Bear in mind that there are certain words and sentiments that must never ever be expressed in this forum. I could tell you what they are, but I'm still stumbling across lots of them myself. And besides, there's nothing like a bit of politically incorrect excitement to set the pulse of the AH racing
9. Share your mood swings. We're all in the process of trying to convince ourselves that we're really quite stable people. The more dysfunctional you come across, the better you'll make all your fellow AHers feel.
10. Don't ever be conned by the genteel spirit that fills this place. Beneath the good and respectable personas are vixens, studs, temptresses, sexual predators and probably the kinkiest people you're ever likely to come across. This is what makes it so fun

 

[wishfulthinking]

Believe it or not, Literotica is not the only erotic fiction site in the world. If they reject you, you can shop it around to anywhere else. And if no one takes it, you probably have tons of stories/ideas floating around. An experienced author is used to rejection. Rejection is not the end of the world. Rejection does not mean your piece is bad, it's just not what they're looking for right now.

Very good point! Doesn't matter how new or experienced you are, you still might get rejected. They'll tell you why, and if you don't get it, ask the AH.

I don't really check the scores on my stories because what other people think does not matter. I am happy with what I write. It is not dependant on the approval of others, especially total strangers. If they like it, then it's cool. If they don't, who cares? There's no harm done. You should write for you and no one else.

I still don't think I've reached this level of maturity But when I was new, I couldn't help but look at what people were voting, good or bad.

Thanks Rock

 

[wishfulthinking]

lets not forget the Trolls..

What is the AH accepted definition of troll?

* someone who 1 bombs your story as soon as you attain a 'H'

> H = a score of 4.5 or higher. Can be misleading as to quality.

* someone who 1 bombs you numerous times when you enter a competition.

* someone [and thier friends, although this is an argued point in itself] who 1 bombs you because they don't like your post on the boards.

There is more to these beasts than what I've described

Trolls are not to be mistaken with:

* someone who is generally offended by your story [eg. reluctance, cheating wives - they couldn't find the priggs category]

* someone who believes 1 is a good score, and won't vote higher.

* someone who gives a 1 if you used 'cunt' excessively. Originality is a much admired commodity at lit.

 

[wishfulthinking]

Welcome to the AH!


1. Always leave the toilet seat in the down position - there's a very strong lesbian contingent on this forum, and they're kind of choosy about what gets them wet.
2. Feel free to throw a hissy fit and leave at any time, but bear in mind that in a couple of days when your rage has subsided, you'll get bored and probably come back, so try not to say anything too regretable.
3. Threads are like the staircases in Harry Potter movies. You remember where they are, but when you find a use for them they've usually disappeared.
4. Although no one would ever be prepared to admit it, the AH is primarily a tool of procrastination - something you do when really you should be writing that besteller. Kind of like tidying your desk, but ultimately more gratifying.
5. You might see yourself as being 'different' at this moment in time, and might start getting paranoid thoughts that everyone on the board is banging everyone else, and you're not a part of it. You're right. Being new absolutely sucks
6. Do not display the colour pink in Abstrusions. Doing so will lead to a very slow and painful death.
7. There are fewer people on the AH than you realise. Lots of people have an alt(ernative identity). Psychologists call it 'multiple personality disorder'. Here we just see it as being really, really creative.
8. Bear in mind that there are certain words and sentiments that must never ever be expressed in this forum. I could tell you what they are, but I'm still stumbling across lots of them myself. And besides, there's nothing like a bit of politically incorrect excitement to set the pulse of the AH racing
9. Share your mood swings. We're all in the process of trying to convince ourselves that we're really quite stable people. The more dysfunctional you come across, the better you'll make all your fellow AHers feel.
10. Don't ever be conned by the genteel spirit that fills this place. Beneath the good and respectable personas are vixens, studs, temptresses, sexual predators and probably the kinkiest people you're ever likely to come across. This is what makes it so fun

Lol

Procrastination as an art form is lifted to its greatest heights in the AH!

Reminds me - if you are game enough to state your political/religious views in the AH, be wary of the flame wars. I think 50% of us are open minded enough not to enforce our views on others, 10% are smart enough to avoid those threads altogether, and the rest are free spirits.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Reminds me - if you are game enough to state your political/religious views in the AH, be wary of the flame wars. I think 50% of us are open minded enough not to enforce our views on others, 10% are smart enough to avoid those threads altogether, and the rest are free spirits.

The best advice here is be prepared to take either side in a political debate and change parties often enough to keep the other AH'rs confused.

 

[wishfulthinking]

The best advice here is be prepared to take either side in a political debate and change parties often enough to keep the other AH'rs confused.

lol! confusion is the key!

Hey, what's a BJ?

 

[rgraham666]

lol! confusion is the key!

Hey, what's a BJ?

Blowjob, otherwise known as fellatio, sucking cock, playing the skin flute, etc.

Being a straight as a laser beam I don't offer them for votes. I'm not averse to performing cunnilingus though.

My note on the AH is that it is considered courtesy to add (political) to thread titles where the thread involves politics. For example: All Democrats support terrorism (political) or Republicans are all closet pedophiles (political).

Like most forms of courtesy though, many people don't practice it consistently.

 

[rachlou]

What is the AH accepted definition of troll?

* someone who 1 bombs your story as soon as you attain a 'H'

> H = a score of 4.5 or higher. Can be misleading as to quality.

* someone who 1 bombs you numerous times when you enter a competition.

* someone [and thier friends, although this is an argued point in itself] who 1 bombs you because they don't like your post on the boards.

There is more to these beasts than what I've described

Trolls are not to be mistaken with:

* someone who is generally offended by your story [eg. reluctance, cheating wives - they couldn't find the priggs category]

* someone who believes 1 is a good score, and won't vote higher.

* someone who gives a 1 if you used 'cunt' excessively. Originality is a much admired commodity at lit.

Don't forget the someone who votes 1 cos your story totally stinks and it was lucky to be given even a 1 vote!

 

[kiten69]

Welcome to the AH!


1. Always leave the toilet seat in the down position - there's a very strong lesbian contingent on this forum, and they're kind of choosy about what gets them wet.
2. Feel free to throw a hissy fit and leave at any time, but bear in mind that in a couple of days when your rage has subsided, you'll get bored and probably come back, so try not to say anything too regretable.
3. Threads are like the staircases in Harry Potter movies. You remember where they are, but when you find a use for them they've usually disappeared.
4. Although no one would ever be prepared to admit it, the AH is primarily a tool of procrastination - something you do when really you should be writing that besteller. Kind of like tidying your desk, but ultimately more gratifying.
5. You might see yourself as being 'different' at this moment in time, and might start getting paranoid thoughts that everyone on the board is banging everyone else, and you're not a part of it. You're right. Being new absolutely sucks
6. Do not display the colour pink in Abstrusions. Doing so will lead to a very slow and painful death.
7. There are fewer people on the AH than you realise. Lots of people have an alt(ernative identity). Psychologists call it 'multiple personality disorder'. Here we just see it as being really, really creative.
8. Bear in mind that there are certain words and sentiments that must never ever be expressed in this forum. I could tell you what they are, but I'm still stumbling across lots of them myself. And besides, there's nothing like a bit of politically incorrect excitement to set the pulse of the AH racing
9. Share your mood swings. We're all in the process of trying to convince ourselves that we're really quite stable people. The more dysfunctional you come across, the better you'll make all your fellow AHers feel.
10. Don't ever be conned by the genteel spirit that fills this place. Beneath the good and respectable personas are vixens, studs, temptresses, sexual predators and probably the kinkiest people you're ever likely to come across. This is what makes it so fun

LMAO!!!

 

[oggbashan]

DO NOT refer to Svenskaflicka as anything shorter unless you understand her language.

Copy and paste her name so you don't mis-spell it.

Svenskaflicka is very nice and helpful to newbies but her teeth and claws come out from concealment if her name is abbreviated. Stroke her gently and all will be well...

Og

 

[Aurora Black]

*snicker*

 

[oggbashan]

From time to time sheep, garderobes, lesbian spiders and bunny ball balls make an appearance in the Author's Hangout.

If you do not understand what is going on you are one of the majority. Just ignore such references and treat them as minor aberrations.

The Earl used to have arachnophobia. He is better now and usually drubnk but posting pictures of spiders without warning is unkind (as is starting a political thread without a warning in the title).

We are supposed to be authors but we don't insist that everyone has a list of published works. We will accept anyone who accepts that the Author's Hangout is what it is with no pretensions to being anything better.

Og

 

[wishfulthinking]

to Og and Rg.

Svenska or sven [can't remember which] = boy, and Svenskaflicka is all woman!

 

[Tuomas]

...

Svenska or sven [can't remember which] = boy, and Svenskaflicka is all woman!

Svenska means "Swedish" in, err, Swedish.
Sven is a Swedish male name.
Svensexa means "stagparty"... and I do NOT want to know why you would be interested.

 

[Seattle Zack]

* It can take 7-14 days for the Lit Gods That Be to approve a story/poem. [you are expected to have at least 1 nervous break down during this time while fully understanding that the world unfortunately does not revolve around your brilliant story/poem]

Ya know, that's just fucking lame. I miss MathGirl. And Perdita, for that matter (who strove to keep the flourescent floozy in line, from time to time).

--Zack

 

[cantdog]

BJ's do NOT get you votes in Lit contests

But they're damn nice otherwise...

 

[Belegon]

Ya know, that's just fucking lame. I miss MathGirl. And Perdita, for that matter (who strove to keep the flourescent floozy in line, from time to time).

--Zack

we are few who remember Maths now I fear...and yes, The Question was usually reserved for her to answer...

 

[damppanties]

6. Do not display the colour pink in Abstrusions. Doing so will lead to a very slow and painful death.

Will not. I survived.

I miss MathGirl too. I feel old.

 

[jeanne_d_artois]

I'm an alt (alternate identity) for Og, oggbashan.

He is also Fag-Ash Lil who is a character in one of my stories, so Fag-Ash is a fictional character in a story written by an alt of a man who pretends to be Henry VIII or a long dead King mentioned in the Bible. That shows how twisted Og can be - like the famous oozulum-woozulum bird that could disappear up its own back passage.

jeanne (or Og, or Fag-Ash...)

 

[scheherazade_79]

Will not. I survived.

Hmmm... I might try.