newbe/femdom

[bbpp]

Hello everyone, new to posting.. Just want to say great site and thought I would ask a few things.
I keep reading about whips/pain domination. I do not know if this is common but I a sub and searching for a Mistress that is into forced fem/hum but not into pain?? Does that make sence?? I have been with a few dom Females but all are very mean is there a such thing as strict sensative Mistresses???? Thought I would ask........

Thanks

 

[WynEternal]

Hi, bbpp. Welcome to the board!

Dommes, like submissives, do not all enjoy doing the same things. There are those who give pain, and those who don't. Up front and honest communication is the key.

Good luck in your quest.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Hello everyone, new to posting.. Just want to say great site and thought I would ask a few things.
I keep reading about whips/pain domination. I do not know if this is common but I a sub and searching for a Mistress that is into forced fem/hum but not into pain?? Does that make sence?? I have been with a few dom Females but all are very mean is there a such thing as strict sensative Mistresses???? Thought I would ask........

Thanks

Mean? since when does being strict translate into insensitivity? Why did you consider them mean? Maybe you just are not the right submissive for them.

Just a question from one of the "mean" Dommes.

 

[bbpp]

Hello again, and thank you.. To answer your question when I say mean I do not mean strick but dam all she wanted to do was make me feel pain and I was not into that... She stated that all sub's have to be and have no choice???????/ I have chatted to a few people and surfed around a bit and thought I would just see what you great people have to say about the topic,

take care

 

[Ebonyfire]

Hello again, and thank you.. To answer your question when I say mean I do not mean strick but dam all she wanted to do was make me feel pain and I was not into that... She stated that all sub's have to be and have no choice???????/ I have chatted to a few people and surfed around a bit and thought I would just see what you great people have to say about the topic,

take care

To be blunt, she sounds like she is full of sh__!

There is no such thing as "all subs have to ..." That is just plain ignorance on her part.

I always tell new subs (or Dom/mes for that matter) to run like hell when someone tells you that you have no choices. Run faster if they use absolutes. All subs do this, all Dom/mes do that; that is just nonsense.

 

[bbpp]

Thanks alot ebonyfire,,, anoither question for you then,, is femdom common??

 

[Ebonyfire]

Thanks alot ebonyfire,,, anoither question for you then,, is femdom common??

Well, it depends on if you are into it or not. I am, so it is common for me, and I have a whole network for Femdoms that I talk to.

I am primarily a femdom with males subs only. there are femdoms with male and female subs, and there are femdoms with only female subs. It is all in your point of view.

 

[bbpp]

Hi There, femdom is on thing that I am really into... Very sincere about this topic..... Need to find the right Mistress though... I am a 25 Male sub and I do not have alot of exp... so it is tough finding a Mistress

 

[Ebonyfire]

Hi There, femdom is on thing that I am really into... Very sincere about this topic..... Need to find the right Mistress though... I am a 25 Male sub and I do not have alot of exp... so it is tough finding a Mistress

Well one thing I have not mentioned here is that new submissives can write a submissive resume. In it you describe your BDSM checklist items, but you also outline the qualities that make you a good candidate for a dominant.

It works!

And it helps you think about what you want to accomplishment. There are a lot of website who can help you focus your search.

Read the threads about how to find a dominant, and it will help you also.

Good luck on your search.

 

[psiberzerker]

There are many stripes of people in the sexual underground, almost as variated as it's members. Typicly, and stereotypicly, you have Dominant sexual "Sadists", and submissive masochists, but that's just the uncreative ones. You can have dominance without pain, and vice versa.
I concider myself a Dominant masochist (Domasochist for short) because I like pain, and the challenge of running a scene. While not mutually exclusive, there is enough conflict between these that they rarely get satisfied simultaneously.
My point is that you should not limit yourself, or your play partners with expectations as to what constitutes BDSM. This is an intrinsicly experimental hobby, so try whatever you're willing to and see what works. That's the only way to grow, as a Domme, or a sub.

 

[bbpp]

Hi, where is this sub Resume??

 

[pop_54]

Quite so

To be blunt, she sounds like she is full of sh__!

There is no such thing as "all subs have to ..." That is just plain ignorance on her part.

I always tell new subs (or Dom/mes for that matter) to run like hell when someone tells you that you have no choices. Run faster if they use absolutes. All subs do this, all Dom/mes do that; that is just nonsense.

Quite so, I'm not heavily into BDSM just a few little excursions into it with some good friends of ours over the years, (we're swingers in truth), but this statement that the sub must always do as the master/mistress says without question is crap, dangerous crap at that.

In a true dom / slave relationaship, the slave is the one in charge ultimately, the sub knows when enough is enough and should be able to issue the panic words and put a stop to anything dangerous.

Any BDSM or other kinky relationship that has no proper control is dangerous and should be avoided.

Just my two penny worth friends. pops..............

 

[Ebonyfire]

Hi, where is this sub Resume??

It is a resume. You have to write it yourself, just as you would if you were applying for a job.

IN a sense you are, applying to be a submissive.

It is a good writing exercise, cause it forces you to focus on your strengths and weaknesses.