New Words

[Leah57]

Mangled Measurements

to totally reprint something I got from my former bf.....

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement= 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile perhour = Knotfurlong
7. 365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer = 1 Lite year
8. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
9. Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
10. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
11. Basic unit of laryngitis - 1 hoarsepower
12. Shortest distance between two jokes - a straight line
13. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
14. 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
15. 1 million bicycles = 1 megacycles
16. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
17. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
18. 10 cards = 1 decacard
19. 52 cards = 1 deckacard
20. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 fig Newton
21. 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen
22. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
23. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
24. 10 rations = 1 decaration
25. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
26. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
27. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms
28. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League

 

[Denae]

Heard someone speaking the other day and they used the word "hypophenate" twice in a conversation. Unsure what he was going for, but I'm sure we could think of something.

 

[EJFan]

Heard someone speaking the other day and they used the word "hypophenate" twice in a conversation. Unsure what he was going for, but I'm sure we could think of something.

this reminds me of someone i knew who INSISTED that "argumentary" was a word. lol.

 

[Denae]

this reminds me of someone i knew who INSISTED that "argumentary" was a word. lol.

Cool, we'll introduce your someone to those who insist that "conversate" and it's derivatives, e.g. I conversated with Joe yesterday, are words.

 

[EJFan]

Cool, we'll introduce your someone to those who insist that "conversate" and it's derivatives, e.g. I conversated with Joe yesterday, are words.

a friend of mine works with a blithering idiot named "mally" and we've taken to calling these types of things "mally-propisms"

 

[NippleMuncher]

Cool, we'll introduce your someone to those who insist that "conversate" and it's derivatives, e.g. I conversated with Joe yesterday, are words.

If I rememberize correctly, Fuck-N-Waggles Dicktionary defines the origins of "conversate" as: conversi - from the latin conversae, to wear a shoe, and saeten - to consume to fullness, resulting in the current known meaning of "putting foot in mouth".

had a friend that used "rememberize" all the time. My girlfriend is constantly mangling word pronounciations ... (another of her manglings)

 

[EJFan]

had a friend that used "rememberize" all the time. My girlfriend is constantly mangling word pronounciations ... (another of her manglings)

frank caliendo said you can put "ify" or "icate" on the end of any word and it immediately becomes a bush-ism... like "thinkify" or "brainificate."

 

[miaow]

Ooh! Cool thread! Being a word player all my life, I've come up with and come across a few, though I can't recall them at the moment. One of my favorite wordplays is to use words that sound correct but are totally wrong, for instance:

Recumbent bicycle would become repugnant, incumbent, etc.

The unfortunate side affect is that now when I need the right word, it escapes me.

That's a malaprop. (But I think you know that already )

But what about motherfuckers who ignorantly mess with the language because it makes them seem like King of the office? They can all go shove their core paradigmed wankspeak up their verbed to-do-list.

Or as Hobbes put it, "Verbing weirds language."

 

[NippleMuncher]

frank caliendo said you can put "ify" or "icate" on the end of any word and it immediately becomes a bush-ism... like "thinkify" or "brainificate."

I saw that clip and it was hilarious! And so true! LOL I saw another of a well known bush impersonator sharing the podium with Bush at a dinner function for the press. The impersonator "interpreted" Bush's speech for the evening. It was great.

Here's the clip if you're interested.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1921276117304287501

That's a malaprop. (But I think you know that already

I thought a malaprop was a bad propeller blade on your boat motor?

 

[Quoll]

Heard someone speaking the other day and they used the word "hypophenate" twice in a conversation. Unsure what he was going for, but I'm sure we could think of something.

I believe that would be an obsessive compulsive use of these.
I - be-lieve-that-this-is too-much-.

 

[Quoll]

I myself am father rond of spoonerisms, often insinuating them into spormal neech during conservation.

 

[NippleMuncher]

I myself am father rond of spoonerisms, often insinuating them into spormal neech during conservation.

Sadly, I understoodified most of that, with interception of "spoonerisms". Could you reiterify that in more a more simplisticate meander?

 

[Quoll]

Sadly, I understoodified most of that, with interception of "spoonerisms". Could you reiterify that in more a more simplisticate meander?

Spoonerisms: The triterary lick of wapping swords, (pictly streaking setters and lounds), lave a hook at the quelow bote.

The Story of Rindercella Once apon a time, in a coreign fountry, there lived a very geautiful birl; her name was Rindercella. Now, Rindercella lived with her mugly other and her two sad bisters. And in this same coreign fountry, there was a very prandsom hince.

And this prandsom hince was going to have a bancy fall. And he'd invited people from riles amound, especially the pich reople. Rindercella's mugly other and her two sad blisters went out to buy some drancy fesses to wear to this bancy fall, but Rindercella could not go because all she had to wear were some old rirty dags. Finally, the night of the bancy fall arrived and Rindercella couldn't go. So she just cat down and scried. She was a kitten there a scrien, when all at once there appeard before her, her gairy fodmother. And he touched her with his wagic mand ... and there appeared before her, a cig boach and hix white sorces to take her to the bancy fall. But now she said to Rindercella, "Rindercella, you must be home before nidmight, or I'll purn you into a tumpkin!"

When Rindercella arrived at the bancy fall, the prandsom hince met her at the door because he had been watchin' behind a woden hindow. And Rindercella and the prandsom hince nanced all dight until nidmight...and they lell in fove. And finally, the mid clock strucknight. And Rindercella staced down the rairs, and just as she beached the rottom, she slopped her dripper!

The next day, the prandsom hince went all over the coreign fountry looking for the geautiful birl who had slopped her dripper. Finally he came to Rindercella's house. He tried it on Rendercella's mugly other ... and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on her two sigly usters ... and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on Rindercella ... and it fid dit. It was exactly the sight rize!

So they were married and lived heverly ever hapwards. Now, the storal of the mory is this: If you ever go to a bancy fall and want to have a pransom hince loll in fove with you, don't forget to slop your dripper!

 

[midwestyankee]

Quoll, you are a real wiece of pork, a hillar of pumanity, and a gamn dunny fuy.

 

[Quoll]

Quoll, you are a real wiece of pork, a hillar of pumanity, and a gamn dunny fuy.

Yank you thank.

 

[midwestyankee]

Yank you thank.

Wore yellow cum.

 

[silverwhisper]

leah, that was priceless!

 

[NippleMuncher]

Ga, hotcha! It all sakes mense now. It woes gell with isopropisms, double is - it's trifficult to tell the bifference detween a sparofsoapism and boonerism when tixing them mogether.

 

[EJFan]

Spoonerisms: The triterary lick of wapping swords, (pictly streaking setters and lounds), lave a hook at the quelow bote.

edit to preface: i just realized that the example i was thinking of was actually quoted in your post. lol. sorry.

once upon a time there was a comic who had a whole routine based on "verbal dyslexia." he did the entire cinderella story in this manner and it was hysterical. following his model i used to have a "verbally dyslexic" answering machine message that went:

no one's around to answer phe thone night row, po sleaze meave a lessage and gil wet back to you as poon as sossible.

 

[NippleMuncher]

once upon a time there was a comic who had a whole routine based on "verbal dyslexia." he did the entire cinderella story in this manner and it was hysterical.

Similarly Victor Borge had an 'inflationary language" that he used. The premise is that any word that sounded like a number, the number portion of that word would increase by 1. (e.g. wonderful = twotiful, forehead = fivehead ).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YY6kElOYcd8

Another of his trademarks was phoenetic punctuation, whereby he'd make an appropriate sound for any type of punctuation as he'd read his story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-buiOOwXatM

 

[yoshimitsu]

When I was a kid I always felt like I had to work hard to try to fit in with the human race (still do for the most part). I felt more like some abstract similarity, perhaps not a real human but more like a mimic.
Sort of like the spiders that look like ants or the non venemous snakes who look like their more deadly counterpart.
I came up with a word I thought described it perfectly.
Pseudosapien or something that pretends to be or mimic humans.
Unfortunately at that point in life I didn't know that homo was the human part and sapien was the intelligent part. So Pseudosapien in fact would mean to pretend to be or act intelligent.
It's too bad, it had a nice ring to it.
Well I guess now it can still be used to call someone a dumbass.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Falawful - The emotional pang of regret when a perfectly good thread drops out of the top 10.

 

[Denae]

Fuggy. When you're sick and you feel fuzzy and foggy in the brain.

 

[Denae]

When I was a kid I always felt like I had to work hard to try to fit in with the human race (still do for the most part). I felt more like some abstract similarity, perhaps not a real human but more like a mimic.
Sort of like the spiders that look like ants or the non venemous snakes who look like their more deadly counterpart.
I came up with a word I thought described it perfectly.
Pseudosapien or something that pretends to be or mimic humans.
Unfortunately at that point in life I didn't know that homo was the human part and sapien was the intelligent part. So Pseudosapien in fact would mean to pretend to be or act intelligent.
It's too bad, it had a nice ring to it.
Well I guess now it can still be used to call someone a dumbass.

I'm going to incorporate this into my every day speech. I cannot tell you how many times I use the word dumbass in a day.

 

[yoshimitsu]

I just remembered another one.
Spasticate
The act of being spastic

I guess I am not the only one.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=spasticate

So you may ask how I ended up on the urban dictionary looking up spasticate.
Well I was sitting here thinking to my self when an internal monologue used the word randomocity.
Since I was sitting in front of my computer I googled it.
http://www.google.com/search?q=rand...s=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a
It turns out randomocity is actually quite a popular word
And just below randomocity.org (Which is temporarily out of service)
Is a link to the Urban dictionary description of randomocity.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=randomocity
All of a sudden I remembered the word I used to use and since I was sitting in front of my computer and already had the Urban dictionary open I UDd it.

Naturally my internal monologue reminded me about this thread and since I was already on my computer I figured I might as well share.

Okay I am done spasticating on the randomocity of this moment.