New Story: "S.L.U.T." Game

[Edogawakun]

http://www.chyoo.com/index.php/main.story.cover/7468

My first story. I hope you enjoy.

I'm a feedback junkie, and I really would like to hear what you think, the good and the bad. However, if you're not constructive with your criticisms, it's like punching Bruce Banner: it'll only make me a monster.

 

[Crescent_Kit]

It's almost empty! Only one post! How do I construct criticism on a preview

 

[Edogawakun]

In the first place, it's a rule for every thread, not just this one. And it shouldn't be restricted to my threads, either.

Second, ask yourself:

"Is the set-up itself satisfactory? How could that be improved?"

"Is the set-up artfully told? What about it isn't artful?"

These are just what I've got off a ten second thought, and feel free to think up your own questions to ask. However, the point is there is something to be constructive about. Basically, if you don't think it's a 5, don't just rate it as something else, tell me why you didn't give it a 5.

 

[Crescent_Kit]

Aside from a few typos, it looks excellent. If you could be one of the few people who have a long and detailed Chyoo thread that doesn't end 2 pages in, I'd be happy.

 

[Edogawakun]

Aside from a few typos, it looks excellent.

Thank you very much. I hope others will feel that way. And perhaps if you could point out the typos? I'm one of those people who can't always see every problem.

If you could be one of the few people who have a long and detailed Chyoo thread that doesn't end 2 pages in, I'd be happy.

Perhaps that could be dealt with swiftly if you add a thread? Just an idea. Or were you going for two paragraphs with the above? That's a horse of a different color.

 

[Edogawakun]

The first possible game is finally up. T​he Exhibition & Voyeur Game.

Male Option

Female Option

It's the same thread either way, it is just the rules and the ambiguous feelings of our MC. I just thought I'd offer both for the sake of fairness.