My Husband wants to spank me

[LadyGwenhevare]

My husband is really turned on by the idea of spanking me. The idea doesn't do much for me, however I am willing to try it.

Any suggestions on the ways, whys, hows, etc to make it a good experience would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much!!

 

[Amfig]

Start with a simple over the knee spanking by hand. See how you react to it. My wife had mixed feelings about spankings until we tried it. Now a few hard swats to her bottom make her very wet.

 

[sirhugs]

does he want a punishment fantasy roleplay? would that make it more fun for you?

 

[SexyChele]

If you are new to spanking and not sure how you might react to it, here is what I would suggest. Have your husband take you from behind and while he is at it, tell him to spank your ass. Chances are it'll turn him on - and may very well do the same for you.

The reason I suggest this, is because it is just a more natural and comfortable position to start in. If you both agree that it was a turn on, then you can progress from there. A full on spanking the first time might be a turn on for you. Or it might leave you extremely cold. Hard to tell. I would ease in to it, personally.

 

[Daddyslilpet]

I agree with Chele, easing into it the way she described is a very good way to not associate the spanking with punishment too. It makes it more erotic, thereby getting you past the thoughts of it just being about pain or something bad.

After you start to think of a spanking in the erotic sense, a simple pat on the butt can be exciting.

~smile~
dixi

 

[zipman]

My husband is really turned on by the idea of spanking me. The idea doesn't do much for me, however I am willing to try it.

Any suggestions on the ways, whys, hows, etc to make it a good experience would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much!!

Maybe asking him why he wants to do it, and what about it excites him might make it more interesting to you as well.

 

[WriterDom]

I think it is better if he warms you up first with some playful slaps and gradually increases the tempo. And a little finger action on your pussy might be interesting on your end (_|_)

 

[sirhugs]

I think it is better if he warms you up first with some playful slaps and gradually increases the tempo. And a little finger action on your pussy might be interesting on your end (_|_)

and you might ask his permission to play with your nipples to deepen the experience.

 

[navarre]

If you are new to spanking and not sure how you might react to it, here is what I would suggest. Have your husband take you from behind and while he is at it, tell him to spank your ass. Chances are it'll turn him on - and may very well do the same for you.

The reason I suggest this, is because it is just a more natural and comfortable position to start in. If you both agree that it was a turn on, then you can progress from there. A full on spanking the first time might be a turn on for you. Or it might leave you extremely cold. Hard to tell. I would ease in to it, personally.

An excellent idea Chele.
I did this once with a sub relatively new to the lifestyle.
It worked very well.
Now she absolutely craves it.

 

[LadyGwenhevare]

Does he wait to spank me until I am really hot and into it?

Is it going to hurt?

How long should I wait to decide if it will change from pain to pleasure?

How hard should he smack me?

Is it better to use his hand or something else? I know hands sting?

Guess I should have a few drinks beforehand.

I read about doing the spanking while having G-gasms. Has anyone done this? Would that be a good thing to try for the first time? I really love Ggasms.

Should he smack me one after the other so I know how many are coming?
or
Should I not know?

Should he do a few smacks and then rubs?

If I don't like the first few smacks should I stick with it?

If I don''t like it the first time should I try again?

What can I do mentally to help me like it?

 

[SexyChele]

Does he wait to spank me until I am really hot and into it?

Okay, I think you are almost overthinking this at this stage, but I'll try to answer your questions. I'm speaking from the viewpoint of a female submissive who happens to enjoy the fine art of a good spank!

Is it going to hurt?

It can, and it can't. It really depends on how hard the spanker spanks the spankee. You can actually slap the buttocks and make a tremendously lout SLAP and not feel a thing. Strippers do this all the time. In the beginning, your husband should go lightly at first, test out how you feel, and play off your clues. If you say it hurts, it hurts and play ends. Period.

How long should I wait to decide if it will change from pain to pleasure?

If the pain is unbearable from the beginning, and you are new, it probably won't get better. As long as hubby reigns in his hands and uses light smacks, it will probably sting. However, the sting should go away relatively quickly. With spanking you build up, you don't start off hard. (Unless you are at a certain level of experience)

How hard should he smack me?

You know what you can do to help yourself and your husband? Try smacking yourself. Yeah, I know. A little weird sounding, but try it. It won't have the exact same feeling, but it will be close. You will be able to determine if it is a good feeling or a bad feeling. Once you've got down what you feel is good, show hubby. With arousal, one can usually sustain harder hits - if they are so inclined.

Is it better to use his hand or something else? I know hands sting?

Much better starting off with hands first. Why? Because if hubby uses something else (dependind on his experience), he might not be able to tell just how hard he is hitting. If he uses his hand, if his hand stings, chances are so is your ass. You can use belt, scarves, floggers, and other items in a teasing way, building up to more intense feelings, but I would start off with skin to skin first.

Guess I should have a few drinks beforehand.

Not really. You might want to have a glass of wine beforehand, if that puts you more in the mood. However, alcohol may lower your acknowledgment of pain and real harm could occur. For the first few times, it is best to be relaxed, but alert. You need to be able to tell hubby if you are not willing to continue.

I read about doing the spanking while having G-gasms. Has anyone done this? Would that be a good thing to try for the first time? I really love Ggasms.

Can't answer on this one, but I think it would be difficult to coordinate a g-spot orgasm while administering a good spank at the same time. Unless you can give yourself g-spot orgasms. As I said, if your husband is already fucking you, and he smacks your ass a few times, you could be playing with your clit at the same time. Makes it more pleasurable.

Should he smack me one after the other so I know how many are coming?
or
Should I not know?

For the first time? I would prefer it to be at regular intervals - but not on the same place!!! That can truly sting! Have him move his hand around to various places.

Should he do a few smacks and then rubs?

This always works best. A smack, then a rub. Smack, rub. Smack, rub. Helps you to enjoy as well.

If I don't like the first few smacks should I stick with it?

No, do not continue in something that makes you feel uncomfortable or unpleasant pain.

If I don''t like it the first time should I try again?

By all means, why not? There are times when I just can't get into a spanking. Other times I can't get enough. Sometimes it just depends on where your head is at. Also, sometimes thinking about what just occurred can turn you on for the next one!

What can I do mentally to help me like it?

Relax about it. Talk to your husband, and let him know some of your concerns. Have him understand that if you want to stop, it stops. Remember - he is your husband, and unless he is into abuse, he is not going to want to hurt you. You should be getting equal pleasure from this!

Good luck, and enjoy!

 

[Arden]

Hi!

There's a great article on spanking at Soulshaven... If you aren't into D/s, just substitute the words her or she for submissive. I think it might be a good idea to have your hubby read this, he can learn a bit if this is new to him too.

http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/dom_spanking.php3

Spankings, done properly, can be incredibly sexy and stimulating

 

[LadyGwenhevare]

SexyChele thanks for trying to answer my questions. My hubby seems to really be turned on by this idea and I want to give it every chance to be pleasing to me. Yes I do tend to over think things - I am anal in both senses!!

Arden - thanks for the link - it was a good article for starting off with spankings, it answered a lot of my questions.

Did bring up one question though - What is marking? Leaving marks like a bruise?

Do most of the people who enjoy being spanked like it the first time?

Is it more of a mental eroticism that you then live out physically? Like I was turned on at the thought of anal sex and then when we did it I enjoyed it, or can you enjoy it even if the idea doesn't get you wet?

Oh yeah the thing I read about g-gasms and spankings alternated between them - get the g-gasms started and then administer the spanks and then alternate again. Somebody who enjoys g-gasms and spankings could try this out and let us all know how it was?

 

[SexyChele]

SexyChele thanks for trying to answer my questions. My hubby seems to really be turned on by this idea and I want to give it every chance to be pleasing to me. Yes I do tend to over think things - I am anal in both senses!!

Arden - thanks for the link - it was a good article for starting off with spankings, it answered a lot of my questions.

Did bring up one question though - What is marking? Leaving marks like a bruise?

Do most of the people who enjoy being spanked like it the first time?

Is it more of a mental eroticism that you then live out physically? Like I was turned on at the thought of anal sex and then when we did it I enjoyed it, or can you enjoy it even if the idea doesn't get you wet?

Oh yeah the thing I read about g-gasms and spankings alternated between them - get the g-gasms started and then administer the spanks and then alternate again. Somebody who enjoys g-gasms and spankings could try this out and let us all know how it was?

There is one part of the puzzle that is missing here: how much experience does your husband have with this? Has he spanked some one before? Or is this just something he read/heard about? His experience level has a lot to do with it.

Yes, marking is leaving some sort of mark behind - bruise, welt, or just reddening the skin. Typically, a reddening of the skin is most typical.

I enjoyed spanking from the beginning. I like to build up, however, from hands slapping/caressing to using toys.

It is both a mental and physical eroticism for me. Has been ever since I was introduced to it.

Can't answer the last one, sorry! Good luck to you!

 

[LadyGwenhevare]

My husband has no experience with this other than the occasional swat to my ass. He has read about and imagined it.

So this a new foray for the both of us.

SexyChele - was this a mental turn on/fantasy before you were introduced or did that come after?

 

[AvaAdore]

Do most of the people who enjoy being spanked like it the first time?

Is it more of a mental eroticism that you then live out physically? Like I was turned on at the thought of anal sex and then when we did it I enjoyed it, or can you enjoy it even if the idea doesn't get you wet?

it all depends on what you're into.

before i ever did it physically, i found it very arousing. i was the one who wanted to introduce it in the bedroom. i did enjoy it the first time, but is was the first time for both of us so it was a learning experience, but definately enjoyable. it's sort of a mental thing, the feeling and thought of being "naughty" is quite arousing, to me anyway.

 

[SexyChele]

My husband has no experience with this other than the occasional swat to my ass. He has read about and imagined it.

So this a new foray for the both of us.

SexyChele - was this a mental turn on/fantasy before you were introduced or did that come after?

Okay, I would definetely have hubby start out really small and build up. If he has been reading fantasy where spankings are involved, then he might have the idea that he can just immediately jump in with a hard spanking and you should enjoy it. Fantasy is fantasy, and while there are women who can take a good deal in a spanking, it is best to start off slow and easy - and have you asking [/I]him[/I] for more.

It doesn't take a great deal of study to administer a good spanking, unless one is going to use something other than their hand, or hit other places than the buttocks. For a simple, hand to ass spanking, it can be very basic and simple.

But, I would not jump into an "over the knee, whomp her ass until she's crying and sobbing" type of thing. Nope. As I said, have your husband simply smack your ass during sex - you will already be aroused, and you both may find you enjoy it tremendously. To do a lot of investigation and learning, only to find out that you don't like a few smacks can be a let down. If you and your husband get off on a few smacks during sex, then start looking into more information. Well, that's my opinion.

I had never thought of spanking before it was done to me. Way, way back then, we didn't have things like the internet, and porn mags and movies were almost strictly contained within the circle of men. "Good" girls didn't look at porn, so many of us had absolutely no idea of such things as spankings. It was introduced to me as I stated above - a few well placed smacks to the ass while being fucked from behind. The first time it happened, I was a bit shocked, but I liked it. I eroticized it right away - but I was highly aroused when it happened! The man I was with at the time slowly introduced different ways and methods of delivering a smack or spank, until we were able to work up to an "over the knee" and then graduate to his belt.

But we went slow, and he "read" me - if I didn't like something, he would stop and try it again some other time. We also talked a lot and shared a good deal.

 

[maggie2002]

Spanking

Great advice all over this thread. I will say this as a frequent spankee. If you don't appreciate the swats to your ass while in the middle of sex you probably will not appreciate a spanking. A fun spanking should make you wet and wanting more swats or him, it should make you hot and you should if you know yourself well enough be able to tell it is helping you toward a great climax. Some people enjoy spanking some don't. SO its not a bad thing if this doesn't do it for you two. After all if you don't try you will never know. I certainly don't think you should be marked on the first effort just a nice warm blush should do it, a little heat if its painful STOP unless your a lady who is into pain.

 

[tr65]

When does it happen?

Lady:

When do you plan to try this? My wife absolutely eats this up when I do it whether its by hand or with a flogger. She can get wet just at the thought. Again though, it is personal preference.

 

[LadyGwenhevare]

We have decided to have our little spanking party on Sunday night. He is off work on Monday so we can play late. I plan to give him a wonderful blowjob during Superbowl half time so he is ready that evening but not in a hurry.

The plan is for me to get a nice little buzz with Champagne and Chambourd, I don't drink often but a nice soft buzz makes me even a little more wild. He is going to get me going and going with his wonderful fingers and the awesome g-gasms and keep me going and going till I am almost lost and then spank me.

He is going to spank rub spank rub spank rub spank rub and then do a set of evenly spaced spanks (we haven't decided on the exact number, but I think six sounds good) and then some more rubs. If I like it and want to we will do another set - evenly spaced no surprises. If I don't want the second set he will rub some more and then slide his delicious cock in my ass and fuck me hard (which I like verrrrry much).

Anyway that is the mental plan - and I think I will like it. I think it will be a fair try it on situation. Maybe the smacks will make me cum - everything else does - wouldn't that be absolutely delicious? Red assed and dripping.

Brains are amazing things - two weeks ago the idea of getting spanked was like ummm why? didn't do anything for me. But learning and understanding the mental submission and accepting it and wanting to like it has turned the idea into an unknown turnon.

I will report the hopefully delicious details here for you all to share. And if not so delicious to offer your advice.

PS: If anyone wants to know why I love anal sex see that thread here on the BDSM board. I think I said it pretty well. Hubby really thought so........

 

[navarre]

That sounds excellent.

The best of luck to the both of you on your journey.

 

[jon.hayworth]

LadyGwenhevare

I guess I am posting this before you start your Sunday evening scene - I noted you intend to have a few drinks to relax you, and that is fine.

But IMHO and experience - because the Spanker should be in full control not only of the Spankee but also of themselves - it is not a good idea for them to indulge in alcohol or drugs. This especially applies to relative novices. As Sexy Chele said "Fantasy is fantasy," and there should be nothing interfering with the Spanker's ability to discriminate between Fantasy and Reality.

In general I would say that this caution applies to most scenes, the Dom should always be aware of their responsibility for the Submissive's welfare.

I hope both of you have a lot of fun.

jon

 

[kayte]

LadyGwen ~ I do hope you and your husband have a great time.

As a sub I would like to reiterate what jon said. In my case neither I nor my Master us indulge in mind altering substances prior to or during a scene. It is not a good idea. A glass of wine, or a chambord may be wonderful to help you relax. Make sure you do not overindulge in that. You as well as your husband need to be aware of what is happening.

Hope the SuperBowl day is super for you.

 

[maggie2002]

Spanking day

Its Superbowl, Super spanking day! Hope all goes well. I agree with the thoughts on drinking a glass or two for you of wine is fine to relax you.. You're bound to be a little anxious but not for him. He needs to be sure to k now how your doing and if he should call it quits and any drug interferes with what is happeninig.

REmember the goal is a warm pink ass not red hot and those rubs should include all those oh so good to be touched spots. Good luck and Happy spanking

 

[LadyGwenhevare]

Not to worry - He won't be drinking, he rarely does.

I just plan to have one or two.

He is worried about hurting me, and will be very concerned with how I am doing. That is one of the reasons we have decided to lay out a plan to follow this first time. He knows how many and so do I - he doesn't have to worry about if he should stop.

We have two safe words set up: a stop word, and a wait a bit word.

Tonight is the night - Anticipation is a wonderful thing.