My Grandfather and a Sausage

[kendra1980]

What a read! What a life!

 

[InnocentCuriosity]

Well, well....

Grandma was a cutie, wasn't she? clearly where the family looks come from!

and your sense of adventure from Grampie!

The question is.........

have the white coats come for you yet??!!

 

[Guest]

I can see you're bored me ol' mucker.

You should get bored more often.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

in 1939 socio-political events shook grandfather's foundations. there was a great fear that adolf hitler - a great supporter of manchester united - fancied his chances 45 minutes each way against joe.

a rare picture grandfather's old friend, joe in the grips of tertiary syphilis. here he is seen railing at a pair of adolf's old underpants.

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/72281117.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=BC719D1944ED55D95CB2F2F9A9AA4AE2284831B75F48EF45

 

[InnocentCuriosity]

in 1939 socio-political events shook grandfather's foundations. there was a great fear that adolf hitler - a great supporter of manchester united - fancied his chances 45 minutes each way against joe.

a rare picture grandfather's old friend, joe in the grips of Tertiary Syphilis. here he is seen railing at a pair of adolf's old underpants.

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/72281117.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=BC719D1944ED55D95CB2F2F9A9AA4AE2284831B75F48EF45

That Tertiary woman had a grip like a vice, didn't she?
Poor Joe, no wonder he's wincing!

 

[geronimo_appleby]

That Tertiary woman had a grip like a vice, didn't she?
Poor Joe, no wonder he's wincing!

indeed, in fact grandfather was so loyal to joe in the days before the didease took hold, that he immediately volunteered for military service... again.

grandfather during basic training for the armoured corps. *note anti-flash goggles in preparation for the punch up after the game

http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/helmet_striatic.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

adolf used to host parties for man u players in his batchelor pad in berlin during the thrities.

player paul scholes relaxing post party in adolf's plush apartment forty years before his conception

http://www.holditupforridicule.com/fatcat.jpg

an artists impression of paul scholes and how he may look thirty years following his conception

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/05_01/PaulScholes_468x551.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

paul scholes today

http://www.smh.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1052591735653_2003/05/12/wld_short_clare.jpg

 

[InnocentCuriosity]

indeed, in fact grandfather was so loyal to joe in the days before the didease took hold, that he immediately volunteered for military service... again.

grandfather during basic training for the armoured corps. *note anti-flash goggles in preparation for the punch up after the game

http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/helmet_striatic.jpg

Why did Grampie have a bowling ball on his head??

 

[geronimo_appleby]

adolf led the pitch invasion - or shitzkrieg as it became known - in 1939 by running onto the hallowed turf at twickenham with his tits out

adolf hitler invading (photo by kind permission of the imperial mint museum)

http://www.pollsb.com/img/tmp/6827_medium.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Why did Grampie have a bowling ball on his head??

he was scared of woodpeckers.

grandfather's pal, joe, was horrified at adolf's audacious outflanking movement

http://www.jose-mourinho.net/img/jose_mourinho_001.jpg

 

[InnocentCuriosity]

he was scared of woodpeckers.

grandfather's pal, joe, was horrified at adolf's audacious outflanking movement

http://www.jose-mourinho.net/img/jose_mourinho_001.jpg

Phwoar!!! Thanks for that one, GA!!

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Phwoar!!! Thanks for that one, GA!!

no worries.

joe decided to call in some heavy guns.

a heavy gun - honor blackman (in the company of ballet dancer lawrence dayglo-helmet and some bint)

http://www.medicinema.org.uk/images/Lawrence%20Dallaglio%20Honor%20Blackman%20and%20Liz%20Fuller.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

after nearly six years of bitter fighting, adolf was outed.

a pint of bitter this afternoon

http://www.pubsurvivalguide.com/images/pint_of_bitter.jpg

adolf out of the closet

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2007/01/30/lbritain2main_070124041506397_wideweb__300x456.jpg

the closet - which declined to comment when approached by our researcher.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a8/Wall_Closet.jpg/418px-Wall_Closet.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

grandfather had reached the rank of major general by the cessation of hostilities.

grandfather, complete with issue lunch box, frizbee, and weapons cache circa 1989 *note the non-standard issue eyebrows. these were only given to elite mountain troops

http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/fileadmin/historyLearningSite/hg.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

grandfather wrote the citation for the highest award for bravery in the face of the enemy for esmerelda the mountain goat, who he trained for special operations as adolf's concubine. sadly esmerelda didn't survive the war. she was killed when adolf had a particularly nasty attack of flatulence one evening following a barbecue at mussolin's place

esmerelda in training (photo by kind permission of the British Mobile Library)

http://www.sassygoatmilksoap.com/SassyGoatMilkSoap.jpg

 

[meg1]

well? don't leave us hanging, what happened next????

 

[geronimo_appleby]

well? don't leave us hanging, what happened next????

OK, OK...

esmerelda's day is still celebrated today during the celebrations each town and village across the length and breadth of the country puts up their finest moustache for enrty into a competition, wherupon the grand winner and overall hairiest top lip is given the choice of several nubile virgins

the winner 1956

http://netramblings.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/moustache.jpg

...and the runner up


http://www.supercoolbaby.com/archives/2007/11/11/hat-choc-main.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

in the years following the great manchester united drubbing, grandfather met and courted a fine, upstanding, morally pristine lady, and they were duly engaged. however, on the eve of the wedding he came to his senses and ran off with her elder sister, gertrude.

his fiance

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/72218829.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=BC719D1944ED55D9B47C8C2C121A057B284831B75F48EF45

gertrude and grandfather celebrating their diamond wedding anniversary

http://old-man-sex.com/streamrotator/thumbs/n/6976.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

some of their offspring. my own mother is in the right of the frame, the one with the tyre round her neck. this picture was taken shortly after a failed kidnap attempt by winnie mandela. there was severe jealousy on behalf of winnie and her mandela united football crew after grandfather's association with outing adolf and his manchester united globetrotter allstars. winnie had planned to 'necklace' my mother by setting fire to the tyre while she was asleep. luckily a passing rooster named harvey spotted what was going on and put a stop to the whole plan.

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/3402459.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=BD2794AE0B3E23AD2A3D5216463632AEA55A1E4F32AD3138

a necklace yesterday

http://www.china-necklace.com/productsimages/Freshwaterpearl-necklace_37107.jpg

harvey the rooster

http://www.warwickny.org/sitebuilder/images/Big_Rooster-376x370.png

the rest of grandfather's brood with uncle pervy on an outing, summer of '76

http://www.terrificassemblies.com/images/gallery-waldo.jpg

 

[InnocentCuriosity]

Ohmigod! GA!!

In your medical training - were you told how to treat split sides???

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Ohmigod! GA!!

In your medical training - were you told how to treat split sides???

dial 999?

the medics proudly showing their silverware after the sidesplitting repair contest. picture reproduce by kind permission of the RAMC

http://www.pitwork.net/jstocks%5CAmbulance%20Team.jpg

 

[InnocentCuriosity]

ROFLMAO!!

you're not helping, Babes!

 

[Razzbeary]

I'm almost afraid to see what you're going to come up with next from the family archives GA..

But it's brill so far! In that crazy, nutty way of yours..

 

[geronimo_appleby]

ROFLMAO!!

you're not helping, Babes!

mother was a train driver during the 1960's

a class 55 (Deltic) locomotive waits patiently for mother

http://digitaltraction.net/joomla/images/stories/DTscreenshots/deltic_railtour.jpg

mother and a large melon early in her driving career (i have no idea what it is under her right arm though)

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/3289959.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=4F84C7EF07395AB6304D12E86C143DCBA55A1E4F32AD3138