Most useless feedback contest

[Evil Alpaca]

I'm relatively new to literotica.com, but I've been writing stories on another site for a couple of years. Due to a problem with the webmaster on the other site and a general lack of feedback (and due to the encouragement of some readers) I decided to try another site. And I have indeed gotten some fresh perspectives on the pluses and minuses of my work.

But I also quickly discovered that there are some people who are psychologically incapable of providing any useful feedback. I don't mind negative feedback if it is constructive. That's not entirely true . . . I do mind, but that's because the actual content of the story was lacking in someway.

Today, I received an angry email saying he had given a poor rating on my story not because it was poorly written or the content was bland or something that might actually sound reasonable but because . . . (wait for it) . . . it had "to be continued" at the end and didn't have "part 1" in the title.

I thought it might be fun to hear what feedback that other authors have received that was kind of ridiculous or unhelpful or seemingly irrelevant.

 

[TheEarl]

Go back to writing comic books.

That one sticks in my memory.

Welcome to the AH Alpaca. Hope you stay awhile.

The Earl

 

[CharleyH]

Prick-teasing at its best!It can only deserve a '1'!

May not be the most useless, but it remains my favorite LOL

 

[cantdog]

evil fuckin alpaca. ther has to be a story behind that one!


Welcome to the Author's Hangout, evil al, and make yourself at home. This is one of the more literate porn sites, if I may say so. I believe a person who so obvously can construct a sentence may find it congenial.

As to unhelpful and irrelevant feedback, there has been some grousing about that lately. This thread , and this one , most recently.

The best thing about this site is that you can indeed get some helpful feedback and some usable criticism. There are mechanisms within the site itself, the Story Discussion Forum and the Feedback one, and then there is this little gang of fools in the AH, who will edit and help and critique one another on an ad hoc basis.

The stuff you get where the site meets the public is less reliable. A person gets some odd messages about stories sometimes. But even there, once in a while you'll get a real, usable critique.

This site has helped me write better, because of the people in it. They'll do the same for you, if you're genuinely looking for it.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

My very first piece of Feedback was most helpful:

Hi Virt,

Still upright?

I wouldn’t exactly call it Feedback except that it came in on a Lit Feedback form.

Might have replied that the first name is Virtual, not Vertical, but of course it was Anonymous.

 

[Guest]

yu are sweet , would you like to be my friend. i like to be yors. i am male of 28 , brown ,tall.

that really made me see the depth of the story he read?
i did get a feed back asking me to write a story about a fur fetish, the content of the email/feedback was so detailed, it alone, could have been a tale.

i still love it...good, bad,or indifferent.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I love the ones I get that say something like, I had no idea I was turned on by male/male action till I read this!

Yeaahhhh. Suuuurrre.

 

[Guest]

This one is still my all time favorite:

This message contains feedback for: Dranoel
About the submission: After Midnight
This feedback was sent by: Anonymous

Comments:

You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid,

*DO NOT hit the REPLY button to respond to this email.*

WOW! So insightful.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

.... You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid, You're so stupid,..

At least s/he wasn't conflicted.

 

[Guest]

At least s/he wasn't conflicted.

Maybe they were but they were embarassed because they couldn't spell jeanyus.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

My very first piece of Feedback was most helpful:



I wouldn’t exactly call it Feedback except that it came in on a Lit Feedback form.

Might have replied that the first name is Virtual, not Vertical, but of course it was Anonymous.

I can't decide which I'd rather see, Vertical Burlesque or Horizontal, hmm....

One story I have posted under the 'anal' category seems to get a lot of feedback from people saying it was hot except for the anal sex. Seems they don't like anal so much but just happen to read stories from that category.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I am convinced that I have seen the name "Evil Alapaca" somewhere else. I just can't think where.

Other than "DEATH TO ALL POOFS," which really warmed my heart - helllooooo you are reading stories on the GAY thread - I liked "I'm sorry but I can't read this gibberish." Ahhhh NOW I know what to fix!

 

[R. Richard]

My personal favorite for totally useless feedback is, alas, not an original item: "I have seen better stuff written on restroom walls!"

Since it was submitted by anonymous I could not even ask: 'Where is the restroom?' What the hell, I can always learn by studying bettter writing.

 

[logophile]

I'm new here as well! I have five stories submitted and my two most useless comments came from the same one...

In "A Trip to the Country" (a lesbian story) it is established that the two main characters have been together for quite a while. They are comfortable together. Anyway, they take a vacation and try something new in bed. The first place winner for most useless feedback said:

"I just wish there was at least some effort at showing one woman seducing another instead of them just going at it as if it's something they do together every other weekend."

And from the same story came this gem...

"make it a little longer by putting me in it"

Love to hear other's weird comments. It's fascinating to me that people will go to all the work to post a comment that says virtually nothing.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I have received a few useless (and just plain weird) pieces of feedback. Here are a few examples:

***

Fuck u
12/27/03 By: Anonymous in Pakistan
Dear Writter ,

May some one fuck u in the ears so that some of the semen gets into ur brains . Of all the stories that I have read , this one's the top listed ... on the list that I make for stories that I do not plan to read .

and again .. FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U

***

01/02/04 By: Anonymous
Can you see any sunlight- or are you to far up your own arse?

***

10/18/03 By: Anonymous
it fucking sucks

***

About the submission: A Silent Whisper, One Night (a Petrarchan sonnet)
09/30/03 By: XXXXX
I'm not much for poetry but this one wasn't bad. Actually it was pretty good. And it rhymed more or less.

***

And finally:

07/22/04 By: XXXXX
hi Lauren , where is lusitania?

***

Welcome to the AH, Evil One.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Welcome to Lit. and the AH, Evil Al. I hope you enjoy it here and contribute to the story index and to the forum.

I don't get a lot of feedback, not as umch as I would like, at least. What I get is usually complimentery, something along the line of "That was a really hot story and got me off. I hope you are going to write more."

I like getting comments like that, especially from women, and they help me write more.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Since it was submitted by anonymous I could not even ask: 'Where is the restroom?'

*laugh* I like the comeback

 

[BlackShanglan]

Now for favorites, I really liked this one:

Comments:

RE: Sweetness and Servitude
I just can't thank you enough. To have such words, such literature, such
sentiment exist is surely grand. You entered new philosophy into my mind about
sexuality - gleefully.
Thank you so much! There's an idea or two I'll be trying out soon.

You rock!

OK, it's not technically more helpful than the negatives, but it sure felt good *purr*

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Other than "DEATH TO ALL POOFS," which really warmed my heart - helllooooo you are reading stories on the GAY thread - I liked "I'm sorry but I can't read this gibberish." Ahhhh NOW I know what to fix!

LOL - That reminds me of Patrick Bateman in "American Psycho" writing KILL ALL YUPPIES on the wall above the urinal of a fancy restaurant with a Mont Blanc.

 

[rgraham666]

The strangest one I've received is a story I posted in the Romance section. It ran thus:

It took 4ever to get to the hot parts. It needed 2 be more hardcore 2.

Another comment for the same story said i should have ended it with a threesome between the main character, his lover and his ex-wife.

As Bull used to say on Night Court, "OoooK!"

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I think one of my most eloquently stated PC's was:

!!!!!!

That's it. That's all they wrote.

Hey, you don't hear me complaining.

~lucky

 

[carsonshepherd]

Best feedback:

"Between Want and Need To is the best story on Lit. Period." Anonymous.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Okay, Evil Alpaca...

Curiosity will be the death of this pussy...er...cat. *wink*



You've got a helluva talent.

Anyone who's not read any of our brand new friend yet is missing out.



Welcome to the AH. Please do stay awhile.

~lucky

Edited to add: Here's the link ~ Evil Alpaca's Memberpage

 

[Evil Alpaca]

My personal favorite for totally useless feedback is, alas, not an original item: "I have seen better stuff written on restroom walls!"

Since it was submitted by anonymous I could not even ask: 'Where is the restroom?' What the hell, I can always learn by studying bettter writing.

That's what I've been doing wrong! I have foolishly been posting literature on websites when I should have been writing 20k word stories on the bathroom stall doors in green crayon at the university athletic center! That's where some of the greatest minds of our generation go to ponder the written word!

Okay, I'm feeling better now. Carry on. Oh, and apparently, the ONLY category where m/m sex is acceptable is in . . . well, gay male. Homosexual men, apparently, do not have romantic coupling sex, sex in groups, or sci-fi/fantasy sex. I really wish I had read the rules more carefully.

 

[cloudy]

Welcome to the AH, Alpaca!

I've posted this one here in the AH a couple of times, but it remains my favorite feedback of all time (although it doesn't come anywhere close to Dran's "You're so stupid" winner):

Name : Amal
Age : 36
Sex : Male
Status : Married
Country : India
Interested in : Sharing thoughts.

Your Private Party made me mad. Fucked two whores simultanously. One in pussy and the other in ass. More stories like this to make me hot.

ARE U INTESESTED IN SHARING SEXY INNOVATIVE THOUGHTS WITH ME ?