Explain please?

[filthytrancendence]

It might be fun to take a maximalist approach:

It all started with Adam and Eve.

Now, maybe you don’t put no stock in that. Maybe you think everything just — BOOM — burst into existence from nothing. That’s fine. You can take that shit up with Old Scratch while the weasels are playing piñata with your sack. I ain’t here to judge. I’m just here to explain.

So before the serpent showed up, things were p-r-e-t-t-y boring. Same thing, day after day. Two naked people. Paradise. I’m sure you get the idea.

Let’s just say there wasn’t a lot of gardening going on in Eden.

If you know what I mean.

Sex. Sex is what I mean.

Anyway, the serpent started yapping about this delicious apple. What kind of apple? Well, some folks’ll swear up and down it was a Jonagold. Others’ll tell you it was an Ambrosia.

But that’s all bullshit. And it ain’t because those varieties didn’t exist before the 20th century. I’m pretty sure The Almighty can put whatever apple He wants on His tree.

No, it’s bullshit because any fella worth his salt knows that the sweetest, juiciest, most deliciously tempting apple in all of God’s creation is the Honeycrisp, and it’s damn sure the only apple coulda caused the Fall of Man.

[insert 100,000 words of ChatGPT nonsense]

Which brings us to The Dark Ages. Now there’s the biggest misnomer in the history o’ misnomers…

Can you imagine this person receiving this reply? If we could get a camera on them for that moment, it would be well worth the effort.

 

[NotWise]

I could imagine a couple of scenarios... the link between the story and the contest, which is tenuous but explained up front, and maybe what happens post the story, but that would be more of a please continue than a please explain... otherwise it might just be that I chose Vogan as a language to write in, in which case I only have myself to blame.

If you're writing in Vogan, do you even need to wonder what's to explain?

 

[NotWise]

OK, I read it. It's totally the Vogan.

I enjoyed the story, and it's a little rare for me to say that. My guess would be the old guy on the cliff. I thought it was pretty clear what happened, but you didn't spell it out. There are other alternatives, but they require that the reader bailed out early and commented.

 

[iwatchus]

OK, I read it. It's totally the Vogan.

I enjoyed the story, and it's a little rare for me to say that. My guess would be the old guy on the cliff. I thought it was pretty clear what happened, but you didn't spell it out. There are other alternatives, but they require that the reader bailed out early and commented.

Pardon my ignorance, but what is Vogan?

 

[Writer61]

I'm assuming that Vogan is a typo:

According to the The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Vogon poetry is the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria, and the worst is by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex, who perished along with her poetry during the destruction of Earth, ironically caused by the Vogons themselves.

 

[Comshaw]

So, I'm going to put it out there and see where it goes. I've just received a rather vague piece of anonymous feedback which simply said . . . explain please? I can try and second guess, but I thought I'd drop the question to you all . . . if I asked you to "explain please" on your latest story, what explanation would you give?

Comshaw

 

[CiaoSteve]

I'm assuming that Vogan is a typo:

According to the The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Vogon poetry is the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria, and the worst is by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex, who perished along with her poetry during the destruction of Earth, ironically caused by the Vogons themselves.

You got me . . . Vogan . . . Vogon . . . Gibberygook

 

[CiaoSteve]

OK, I read it. It's totally the Vogan.

I enjoyed the story, and it's a little rare for me to say that. My guess would be the old guy on the cliff. I thought it was pretty clear what happened, but you didn't spell it out. There are other alternatives, but they require that the reader bailed out early and commented.

Thank you @NotWise . . . glad you enjoyed the story

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Love it

Explain 42?

Simply enough it is the human answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything, which is, "What is Life, the Universe, and Everything? Be concise."

Life, that which begins goes on and ends, creates time; without change, there is no time. For us to see life, and thus time, as continuing, we must have three generations: the first can only be assured of continuity when its offspring's offspring are of reproductive age. The average age of sexual maturity for our species is 14; thus 3 x 14 = 42.

The Universe is, of course, space, and it can be defined as the product of all the places you can be and all the places you can't be. There are seven places you can be: above, below, to the left, to the right, ahead of, behind, or with someone or something. There are six places you can't be: above, below, to the left, to the right, ahead of, or behind yourself. Thus the Universe is 6 x 7 = 42.

Everything, obviously, is the totality of Time and Space, and thus we see that the Space-Time continuum is, indeed, a unitary relationship:

Life = Time = 42
Universe = Space = 42
42 = 42
Therefore Everything - Space and Time, Life and the Universe - is one.

Be concise: That is how we speak of it, as 1, and this would be mathematically true if we counted in a fold-420 system. However, we use a decimal system, so the most concise answer to the question is 42.

Quod erat demonstrandum.

 

[SkyBubble]

I've mainly had only very polite inquiries into the rationale behind a couple of my stories. They generally ask specific questions and are well though out. I took it as an invitation to discuss the story.
Rude, half baked questions I ignore. I have had my and I'm sure your good friend Anonymous send me a few emails as well. Without a return address you can't respond.

The late, great Yogi Berra once said "Never answer an anonymous letter."

 

[SkyBubble]

Just copy and paste the definitions of the word 'please' and call it a day.

Wickedly brilliant.

 

[SkyBubble]

“In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

"God create man in His image and likeness, and man promptly returned the favor." -- Voltaire

 

[Areala-chan]

"Explain, please!" cried the masochist.

"No," replied the sadist.

 

[Bramblethorn]

So, I'm going to put it out there and see where it goes. I've just received a rather vague piece of anonymous feedback which simply said . . . explain please? I can try and second guess, but I thought I'd drop the question to you all . . . if I asked you to "explain please" on your latest story, what explanation would you give?

I would call you the bastard child of Yoda and Pauline Hanson.

 

[Bramblethorn]

It might be fun to take a maximalist approach:

It all started with Adam and Eve.

IIRC Pratchett used "Some say the Creator took a handful of clay..." as a running gag along these lines.

 

[Gamblnluck]

The late, great Yogi Berra once said "Never answer an anonymous letter."

I've had a few 'anonymous' usernames with legitimate email addresses. So Hell yeah, I'm gonna respond to legit question.

 

[lc69hunter]

So, I'm going to put it out there and see where it goes. I've just received a rather vague piece of anonymous feedback which simply said . . . explain please? I can try and second guess, but I thought I'd drop the question to you all . . . if I asked you to "explain please" on your latest story, what explanation would you give?

Ha! Some of the DM's just make you wonder