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Talking to my mom on the phone and she tells me, “you’re really pretty when you curl your hair and put on makeup.” Gee, thanks mom, no wonder I have low self esteem.

If you're not actually laughing out loud, don't put LOL anywhere in the sentence. It's not a piece of punctuation, it's something that has a definite meaning.
LIMH...
In Scooby Doo, every mystery the group encountered had a logical explanation behind it. In fact the only unexplainable phenomenon was a dog that could fucking talk.

Scooby snacks. The smoke constantly pouring from the Mystery Machine. And this remains unexplainable to you?![]()
If dirty talk turns you on, your genitals are technically voice-activated
If you press the clitoris and the g-spot at the same time the vagina takes a screenshot
You're funny!Now I know how Joan of Arc felt
Now I know how Joan of Arc felt