monogamy-why?

[sxylegs]

Why monogomy? Some folk are just made that way. Others of us just aren't. I always assumed mono vs poly was like eye color or gender preference - an inextricable part of each person.

I agree with this fully. so why lie and tell someone that you will be mono when you have no intention of fulfilling it......I agree that you should be honest......If you wont be with just one person then you should say so......There would be less people together but there would also be less people hurt.

 

[James G 5]

I agree with this fully. so why lie and tell someone that you will be mono when you have no intention of fulfilling it......I agree that you should be honest......If you wont be with just one person then you should say so......There would be less people together but there would also be less people hurt.

Now if some folks would just BELIEVE me and stop trying to change me...

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Well, I think a big problem with being poly is that you might not know that about yourself until you are already in to a long-term monogamous relationship. (personally I think long term monogamous relationships can TURN someone poly - but that's just me.....)

 

[sxylegs]

I believe that you are right in saying that a lot of us become poly after being in a long term relationship. My boyfriend has just turned off. He isnt interested in sex. I am very interested. There is only so much I can do with my vibrator. If someone approaches me and says the right things and pushes my self esteem buttons, I dont know what I may do. I believe in being mono for myself. But I really dont know if my self esteem will take over and make me do things I believe I normally would not do in a normal caring situation

 

[KinkyKiki]

Actually, speaking for me personally, I think monogomy is one of the easiest things in the entire world, as long as you've found the one you're truly meant to be with forever.

KinkyKiki

 

[Aaron Dazer]

Uh huh
Explain please exactly how it's a higher state?

A conscience control over a primitive impulse. The next stage in the evolution of reproduction, the advancement of the initial procreation of the species. Acknowledging it’s harder to maintain a relationship then establish one, a fact that parallels Monogamy. The fact that standing in society is established by active contributions not reproductive viability and matching that with individual Behavior.

 

[Aaron Dazer]

What, exactly, am I comitting to myself, and what does it gain me?

Honor by keeping ones word. Loyalty by standing by what you Promise. Courage to fight impulse and Pressure over what is right.

Being Prideful/Thankful you’re a Person of Honor Loyalty and Courage. Knowing that with out a doubt is Greater than someone’s praise of you. And if unwarranted Praise is more important to you then True Loyalties then your just shallow and a fool.

 

[Aaron Dazer]

IMO I would like to note that one who acknowledges inability or lack of desire to commit and Voices it. And doesn’t mislead that state is just Aberrant not substandard.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

IMO I would like to note that one who acknowledges inability or lack of desire to commit and Voices it. And doesn’t mislead that state is just Aberrant not substandard.

Is it just me and my lack of coffee - or does anyone else have a hard time understanding this sentence(s)?

 

[sxylegs]

Actually, speaking for me personally, I think monogomy is one of the easiest things in the entire world, as long as you've found the one you're truly meant to be with forever.

KinkyKiki

But what do you do if they dont share the same idea as you???

 

[Aaron Dazer]

Is it just me and my lack of coffee - or does anyone else have a hard time understanding this sentence(s)?

No i can't make heads or tails of it either.

I think he was trying to say if your Poly and admit it to partners it's just abnormal not wrong.

 

[Aaron Dazer]

But what do you do if they dont share the same idea as you???

then they
A: Don't love you as much. (even if they fool themselves.)
B: have a emotional Issue that seriously needs Addressed.

and don't give me that crap "Oh i really love them i just can't say faithful" it's complete crap. If you really love someone you don't think about others Period. You may love them but your too week or not involved enough to experience it property. The first few months of a relationship most normal persons don’t think about others. Word of advise if you only totally think about who you claim to be in love with ONLY when your with them. Odd are your just infatuated.

And don’t give me that “Oh you don’t know how I feel.” Because your telling me how you do. Your telling me you can’t give yourself up enough to someone or yourself to commit to them. Which means your feelings aren’t strong enough to overcome even non tempted desires. this is selling yourself Short.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

No i can't make heads or tails of it either.

I think he was trying to say if your Poly and admit it to partners it's just abnormal not wrong.

So everything that YOU believe in is right or OK, and everything you DON"T believe in is wrong or abnormal. Oh - I get it.

 

[ReadyOne]

I just love Aaron's myth that you can't love more than one person!

 

[Noor]

Honor by keeping ones word. Loyalty by standing by what you Promise. Courage to fight impulse and Pressure over what is right.

Being Prideful/Thankful you’re a Person of Honor Loyalty and Courage. Knowing that with out a doubt is Greater than someone’s praise of you. And if unwarranted Praise is more important to you then True Loyalties then your just shallow and a fool.

I think you are making some rather large assumptions here. By your own written definitions here; I am honorable, loyal, have courage and I will not be pressure to stray from what I know to be right.
That does not necessarily make me monogamous.

 

[Aaron Dazer]

So everything that YOU believe in is right or OK, and everything you DON"T believe in is wrong or abnormal. Oh - I get it.

No. What the Majority Believe is considered Normal. If the majority of developed society believed in Poly then I’d be arguing the minority and calling myself Abnormal. But would still defend my view.

 

[Aaron Dazer]

I think you are making some rather large assumptions here. By your own written definitions here; I am honorable, loyal, have courage and I will not be pressure to stray from what I know to be right.
That does not necessarily make me monogamous.

Ok if you say you are the following would be true.

If your in a committed relationship you.
A: Focus all your Feelings to said partner. And no one else OR
B: Tell Said Partner openly and with out deception your going to Experience relations with others.

That would leave you honorable and courageous if you stuck with them.
I however would have a hard time calling you loyal.

 

[Aaron Dazer]

I just love Aaron's myth that you can't love more than one person!

The Myth isn't that you can love two people. I never said you couldn’t love two.

What I mean and Believe is You can't be Fully and Truly be IN Love with two. One cancels the other.

There is no perfect balance love isn’t Digital. You have greater feelings for one or the other. IMO Being in love is forsaking all others. If your feelings diminish in another presence or lack of their presence it isn’t the whole and real deal. You can't split live long commitment.

 

[Aaron Dazer]

So everything that YOU believe in is right or OK, and everything you DON"T believe in is wrong or abnormal. Oh - I get it.

I also would like to add by the very numbers of this Pole Monogamy is the Norm. in defense of calling Poly aberrant.

 

[sxylegs]

Ok if you say you are the following would be true.

If your in a committed relationship you.
A: Focus all your Feelings to said partner. And no one else OR
B: Tell Said Partner openly and with out deception your going to Experience relations with others.

That would leave you honorable and courageous if you stuck with them.
I however would have a hard time calling you loyal.

I fully agree with you on this.......You may be honest but I would doubt your loyalty....

In today's society cheating is the norm. More people cheat than ever before....(I was reading stats last night)......I do aplaud the people that are honest and tell someone straight that they cant do it. We want the person that everybody else wants but we want them to ourselves.....I myself cant bring myself to go with another when Im in a committed relationship. This crap about not looking or being attracted when you are in love with another is a bunch of bull.
All of this is about control and willpower.......and look at this country full of large people, addicts and people that drink too much......Most of us dont have control of our lives....can we be expected to have control of our sex lives.......

Sorry.....was only going to write a line or two.....LOL...

 

[crazybbwgirl]

No. What the Majority Believe is considered Normal. If the majority of developed society believed in Poly then I’d be arguing the minority and calling myself Abnormal. But would still defend my view.

So every minority is abnormal? Hmmm - would seem to me that YOU'RE abnormal - I assume you're male. Females are the majority in this world!

 

[Aaron Dazer]

So every minority is abnormal? Hmmm - would seem to me that YOU'RE abnormal - I assume you're male. Females are the majority in this world!

Minority as a Person/race/nationality/religion isn't abnormal it is a Group. A minority social Practice is Abnormal. Please don't quote me out of context.

 

[Aaron Dazer]

I fully agree with you on this.......You may be honest but I would doubt your loyalty....

In today's society cheating is the norm. More people cheat than ever before....(I was reading stats last night)......I do aplaud the people that are honest and tell someone straight that they cant do it. We want the person that everybody else wants but we want them to ourselves.....I myself cant bring myself to go with another when Im in a committed relationship. This crap about not looking or being attracted when you are in love with another is a bunch of bull.
All of this is about control and willpower.......and look at this country full of large people, addicts and people that drink too much......Most of us dont have control of our lives....can we be expected to have control of our sex lives.......

Sorry.....was only going to write a line or two.....LOL...

Thank you,

this brings me to my previous point of Monogamy being a higher state of being. Something that people try and fail.

Being a Monogamist requires being righteous and Virtuous. Excelling at commitment requires Courage, Loyalty and Honor.

Righteous + Virtuous + Loyal + Courageous + Honorable = Higher State of being.
Vice impulsively indulging in lust outside commitment.

This crap about not looking or being attracted when you are in love with another is a bunch of bull. All of this is about control and willpower

Completely true, not looking and repressing attraction when in love is about willpower and exercising it correctly isn’t easy. One can't help the fact the Heart, Mind and Soul can operate independently. This fact alone proves Monogamy is more challenging then Polygamy. I’d conclude what is wanted and the greater adversity is the Better mental state. I’d also like to point out that being a Polygamist and Honest is possibly as hard, but still lacks loyalty.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Minority as a Person/race/nationality/religion isn't abnormal is a Group. A minority social Practice is Abnormal. Please don't quote me out of context.

It was this kind of thinking that led to the Spanish Inquisition, burning 'witches' at the stake, the Holocaust........ narrow minded people.... afraid of anything new, different, not like them.....

 

[Aaron Dazer]

It was this kind of thinking that led to the Spanish Inquisition, burning 'witches' at the stake, the Holocaust........ narrow minded people.... afraid of anything new, different, not like them.....

Totally incorrect. Not accepting those differences is what caused that. and the corruption of what is the Vatican did.

Not defining it. I’m sorry IF your not Loyal and/or Honest I think less of you. If you have a different View of what is Loyal and Honest I’ll listen to you and respect your View. I however may not agree with it.

I used a different definition of Minority then the ethnic group. Please argue the correct context.