Minor Problem

[Pointless_Username]

I have a bit of a problem I was hoping y'all could help me with... I'm 21 years old am currently seeing someone. We've been going out for about 3 months now and last week we decided to have sex. It was my first time and in a matter of minutes it was over.

It didn't take 60 seconds and I had already cum.

It was the most embarassing thing that's ever happened to me. Luckily, my girlfriend didn't make a big case out of it and did her best to reassure me but it's sure a huge slap in the face for my self-esteem.

Is there anything I can do? Is this normal?

Any and all help would be appreciated. Thank you.

 

[molegrande]

that sounds pretty normal for a first time. i'd say don't sweat it. wearing a condom helps lessen sensitivity, among so many other good reasons to wear one. go rub one off before you catch up, that may give you more time too. go a few pumps and pull out to give her some oral to give yourself a break. as it becomes less new and novel feeling, you'll probably be able to last longer. orgasms are very mental.

i don't think most women have a problem with it in the beginning as long as you do your part to make sure she gets satisfaction out of the encounter. take care of her first with your fingers, or oral, or whatever works for the two of you. try to get her to the edge and maybe you can stretch it out to climax together?

lots of stuff to try. just make sure its a shared experience in the end. don't make it an issue and it won't become one. i've heard my female friends complain about guys that pop quickly and pass out, but never complain about a guy who got her to the O, regardless of how he did it.

good luck

-M

 

[jehoram]

I have a bit of a problem I was hoping y'all could help me with... I'm 21 years old am currently seeing someone. We've been going out for about 3 months now and last week we decided to have sex. It was my first time and in a matter of minutes it was over.

It didn't take 60 seconds and I had already cum.

It was the most embarassing thing that's ever happened to me. Luckily, my girlfriend didn't make a big case out of it and did her best to reassure me but it's sure a huge slap in the face for my self-esteem.

Is there anything I can do? Is this normal?

Any and all help would be appreciated. Thank you.

Well, you could try delaying the orgasm when you're masturbating.

Were you wearing a condom? Sometimes that helps, since you don't get as much sensation.

There are cremes that you can buy to help deaden your nerve impulses. I tried them, and they worked after a fashion, but I found the sensation quite unpleasant.

You could jack off before your date or, better yet, have her jack you off. Then take your time returning the favor. By the time you're ready again, she'll have had plenty of opportunity for arousal. And you'll probably find that your second erection lasts a lot longer.

 

[Pointless_Username]

Well, to be honest, we've done oral twice since we had sex and I can't seem to last much longer, no matter how hard I try. It may have to do with my jacking off habits stemming from when I was a young teen. I used to try to hurry it up and get the job done before I was caught since I'd get home from school minutes before my brother would get home from work...

And I know about the creams, but I don't wanna' use them... I want the experience to be shared and enjoyed by both of us. Not just me and not just her. And I still do my best to get her to orgasm without penetration, but it's not the same... at least not for me. I dunno, maybe I'm weird .

Thanks for the advice.

 

[Epmd607]

First time I had sex I didn't even come because I was too nervous. She thought she did something wrong and felt bad because she came a couple times. Sex takes practice, hopefully she'll let you bone her another dozen times, should last longer down the line. As always, go down on her and finger her like you're on a mission if you're only gonna last a minute. If you get her worked up enough it should only take her a minute to come herself, then you can be orgasm buddies.

 

[indyguy78]

some guys don't even make it to the sex part it's normal.

 

[Pointless_Username]

First time I had sex I didn't even come because I was too nervous. She thought she did something wrong and felt bad because she came a couple times. Sex takes practice, hopefully she'll let you bone her another dozen times, should last longer down the line. As always, go down on her and finger her like you're on a mission if you're only gonna last a minute. If you get her worked up enough it should only take her a minute to come herself, then you can be orgasm buddies.

I hope you're right. I hope this isn't gonna be a problem. On one hand I know we love each other too much to let this become a major problem, but at the same time it's hard on my pride.

some guys don't even make it to the sex part it's normal.

Well, we didn't really go into foreplay, we pretty much just went ahead. It's a long story, but that point is, I didn't really have a choice but to make it to the sex part! Imagine if I didn't :S. That wouldn't even have counted, I don't think...

But I understand what you're saying, and i'll trust that it's normal. Thanks.

 

[NomadLady]

I have a bit of a problem I was hoping y'all could help me with... I'm 21 years old am currently seeing someone. We've been going out for about 3 months now and last week we decided to have sex. It was my first time and in a matter of minutes it was over.

It didn't take 60 seconds and I had already cum.

It was the most embarassing thing that's ever happened to me. Luckily, my girlfriend didn't make a big case out of it and did her best to reassure me but it's sure a huge slap in the face for my self-esteem.

Is there anything I can do? Is this normal?

Any and all help would be appreciated. Thank you.

I hate to be a "downer" but I would do whatever you can now to rectify the problem. I was young and dumb when I was 23 and married a 34 yr old with the same problem....IT NEVER GOT BETTER and it really sucked for me. Even though he was great at oral, I missed penetration that laster longer than 2 minutes....We've been divorced 9 years now and guys that can go forever STILL amaze me.,..

 

[BongoGal]

some guys don't even make it to the sex part it's normal.

Heh...that's true. I remember a guy in college who came in his tighty-whities while I was trying to pull it out. He was very embarrassed, but I couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't a total loss, though. I eventually got him hard again, and then he plowed me like a champ.

 

[Pointless_Username]

Heh...that's true. I remember a guy in college who came in his tighty-whities while I was trying to pull it out. He was very embarrassed, but I couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't a total loss, though. I eventually got him hard again, and then he plowed me like a champ.

The worst thing my girlfriend could've done was laugh :O. That probably would've killed it for me!! But like nomadlady said... this is definately a problem I want to fix! I don't intend on going on for the rest of my laugh lasting no more than a few seconds. ugh!

 

[NomadLady]

The worst thing my girlfriend could've done was laugh :O. That probably would've killed it for me!! But like nomadlady said... this is definately a problem I want to fix! I don't intend on going on for the rest of my laugh lasting no more than a few seconds. ugh!

Pointless,
I talked to our family physician at great length about this problem and his advice was to learn to be able to get close to orgasm then STOP, at first this won't be easy but whatever you are doing, hand job, oral, just stop. Wait, and start over/continue and when the orgasm is close again....STOP. Supposedly you will be able to learn to control the orgasm....the funny thing about my ex was he could stay hard for a long time and NOT cum from oral but the second intercourse began he lost all control.
I still think to this day that there was a mental component to what was happening but I will add...at one point during our marriage he took anti-depressants (he was bipolar and needed them BADLY) and during that time he became the 60-minute man instead of the 60-second man. Bad thing was his ego couldn't overcome his macho self and he stop taking the meds and the premature ejaculation came right back.

 

[satindesire]

Well, to be honest, we've done oral twice since we had sex and I can't seem to last much longer, no matter how hard I try. It may have to do with my jacking off habits stemming from when I was a young teen. I used to try to hurry it up and get the job done before I was caught since I'd get home from school minutes before my brother would get home from work...

And I know about the creams, but I don't wanna' use them... I want the experience to be shared and enjoyed by both of us. Not just me and not just her. And I still do my best to get her to orgasm without penetration, but it's not the same... at least not for me. I dunno, maybe I'm weird .

Thanks for the advice.

So you're worried about lasting longer even though she's completely sexually satisfied and not complaining, because YOU aren't happy unless she can orgasm while being penetrated by you?

Dude, seriously, you should be really happy she's coming. Most women have a hard enough time reaching orgasm AT ALL, let alone with a loving partner who cares. Just because you can't last long enough for her to orgasm on your penis doesn't mean your sex life is bad. Most men ejaculate within a few minutes of penetration anyway, lots of women are perfectly happy with it as long as they get to come FIRST, no matter HOW they reach orgasm.

 

[Experiencedguy]

My two cents: This is perfectly normal when you start. Practice makes perfect. When I started, I was so embarressed that I couldn't make it to the one minute mark. But, you have a lot of excitement and never before felt experiences to learn about. Give it at least one month. You have received a ton of good advice here - use it.

Also, one more thing to consider: The chemistry between you two may be so great, that you are really going to have to work on this. I have found that some girls can still get me off really fast, while with most I run my normal time.

If you are still having problems in October, then it may be something to be concerned about. Until then, practice and enjoy.

 

[infinity706]

So you're worried about lasting longer even though she's completely sexually satisfied and not complaining, because YOU aren't happy unless she can orgasm while being penetrated by you?

Dude, seriously, you should be really happy she's coming. Most women have a hard enough time reaching orgasm AT ALL, let alone with a loving partner who cares. Just because you can't last long enough for her to orgasm on your penis doesn't mean your sex life is bad. Most men ejaculate within a few minutes of penetration anyway, lots of women are perfectly happy with it as long as they get to come FIRST, no matter HOW they reach orgasm.

I agree completely, except I'm sure most women would be just as happy to orgasm second as long as they get one.

 

[NomadLady]

I will add that during the years I was married...I NEVER, EVER complained to my ex. I couldn't hurt a man's ego that way....but what did drive me INSANE was his constant whining about it.

If you are satisfying her, like the guys and gals here said, just give it time.

 

[simplegirl]

the majority of women can't orgasm with penetrative sex alone. So don't sweat it. And as others have stated, when you masturbate, train yourself to last longer. Use lube, and drag out the session, stopping before orgasm and restarting. Many men don't last long once they penetrate. It just feels too darn good in there!

 

[Jamison]

Lots of good advice here, so there's not much I can add. However, there is another way to make yourself last longer. It's really cheap, but it works.

Before a planned sexual encounter, drink a ton of water. Make any excuse you need to, just drink a lot. Then you just hold it. You can't easily cum if you have to pee, and most of the time you'll find yourself thinking of the bathroom more than coitus. This leaves you free to take your time and focus on your girl's cues. It's an easy way out for the first few times, but it is a bt of a sacrifice on your part, as you won't enjoy the experience as much,

This method can also work as a longer-term solution if you employ it regularly. Your brain will form an association between sex and needing to excercise bladder muscles, which leads to a more rapid decrease in natural response to sexual stimulus. However, it will still be a sacrifice on your part because you are essentially training your natural ejaculatory response away. Eventually, it will take a little mental and/or physical creativity to climax, sooner than it otherwise would in a heterosexual relationship.

I can pretty much guarantee that this will work, but I'd advise trying the other methods mentioned first. Good sex is about mutual enjoyment, not suppressing your own pleasure.

Good luck!

 

[Pointless_Username]

Good sex is about mutual enjoyment, not suppressing your own pleasure.

Could not agree more, and that's what I'm aiming for. Figuring out a way I can last longer without compromising my or her enjoyment. I want the experience to be... experienced... by both of us fully!

Thanks again for all the advice, everyone. I was kinda' half-expecting to be ridiculed but so far no one has done so. Very appreciated.

 

[ucleebo]

Thanks again for all the advice, everyone. I was kinda' half-expecting to be ridiculed but so far no one has done so. Very appreciated.

Why would anyone ridicule you? Most of us men have run into this problem at one time or another, and most women are more than sympathetic. Believe me, as you get older, cumming too quckly is far less a problem than being able to cum at all. Lucky for me, I'm not that old - yet!

 

[TypicalDeviant]

And don't forget that sex doesn't begin with penetration, or even touching each other and it certainly doesn't end when one or both of you orgasm. It's completely ok and normal for the orgasm (for either of you) to be completely secondary to whatever it is you're doing.

 

[BongoGal]

I remember a guy in college who came in his tighty-whities while I was trying to pull it out. He was very embarrassed, but I couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't a total loss, though. I eventually got him hard again, and then he plowed me like a champ.

The worst thing my girlfriend could've done was laugh :O.

Not laughing wasn't an option. It was like pulling a bottle of beer out of a cooler and having it foam over before even taking the cap off. He shuddered a little and then next thing I knew, my hand was wet. In a way, it was rather flattering.

 

[Mac98]

Not laughing wasn't an option. It was like pulling a bottle of beer out of a cooler and having it foam over before even taking the cap off. He shuddered a little and then next thing I knew, my hand was wet. In a way, it was rather flattering.

I a way?? Fuck, it should be in every way!! The faster a man comes, the better the sex is (err, actually, the more he's aroused!)

 

[StormCat]

Was his last name Gump?

 

[Pointless_Username]

I just wanted to say to everyone, I spoke about this with my girlfriend and though things haven't really gotten better, I still manage to rock her boat (according to her). I've also been told by many people here that endurance is trainable. I'm not sure how exactly, but I'm working on it.

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone!

 

[blade_rocknut]

Some people say it's not treatable- I dunno. But the practice strategy IS a lot of fun. All sorts of things can help- wear silk boxers instead of tighties- you'll get accustomed to more sensations. Watch porn and keep edging youself, All good ideas.She will be able to sense your confidence when you get it, and she'll be more turned on by that than another 20 seconds of poking anyway. My first time? I was so worried about cumming too soon, I rubbed one out on the way to pick the girl up! When I was younger and a little quicker on the trigger, we'd just go for round two ( or three) a few minutes later. Even now at almost 35, sometimes my wife has me so worked up, I just don't stand a chance! After 15 years together though, we can just chuckle about it. We're not all porn stars with 12" of viagra-fueled meat that's numb from benzocaine.