Meanwhile: 30 Things you learn From Porn Videos

[xssve]

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

25 More...

 

[lance gt]

6 The guys always cum and the girls enjoy satisfying orgasms.

7 Women like guys to come up to them and tell them they have great tits and then feel they should fuck them for the compliment.

8 Girls have way too many different toys and objects to play with.

 

[sadangel]

9. All females love being dressed up like a schoolgirl and calling a man 40 years older than her "daddy." *shivers and throws up at the thought*

 

[voluptuary_manque]

10, Normal looking people don't exist.

11. Everyone's insurance must pay for boob jobs.

12. No one's life span exceeds forty.

 

[xssve]

13. Put any Two women in a room together and they'll be undressing each other inside a minute.

14. Put a guy and a girl together in a room and they'll be undressing each other within Thirty seconds.

 

[mynameisben]

15. Every unimaginably hot babe is irresistably attracted to any fat, hairy, abusive, abrasive, dim-witted pus sack of a man as long as he has a large dick or a stake in the production company producing the film.

 

[jomar]

16. Pizza delivery = sex.

 

[TE999]

17. All women are switch hitters, guys never are.

18. Any guy who delivers pizza, packages, cleans pools, tutors schoolgirls or is a gardener has the best job in the world because all the MILF's and young girls fuck him.

19. No one ever gets caught fucking anywhere unless it's in the plot.

20. Girls will always go on rides with strange men and women and enjoy being fucked by them.

21. All women like it up the ass or are willing to try it.

 

[Trudy_Antone]

22. If a man is about to cum every woman in the room must line up on their knees

23. A women's body only consists of her genitalia and orifi

24. Women don't like to be kissed or fondled, only fucked, and fucked HARD

25. Women faking orgasm isn't neccessary because nobody gives a shit

26. Women only wear lingerie because men aren't smart enough to undress them from their everyday clothes.

 

[Epmd607]

27. All women are either teenagers or Milfs.

28. You must interview a woman before sex, making sure to ask: How old were you when you first had sex? and How many guys have you had sex with in your personal life?

29. A babysitter's job description includes: Oral, Anal, Mutual Masturbation, and possibly Double Penetration.

edit: I wasn't sure if anyone mentioned the vital babysitter role.

 

[Epmd607]

30. If you have a camera rolling and a lawyer you can pay any woman for sex.

 

[Mac2383]

another 30?

1. Women like to yell out: "That's it! That's it!"

 

[Chantilyvamp]

2. Women will spit great big balls of saliva on you and themselves to make up for the lack of lube! *eeewwwwwww*

 

[KarennaC]

Okay, I'm spewing coffee onto my monitor at Chantily's post, because my fiance actually does use saliva as lube...

3. Anyone who catches people having sex will immediately either join in and be welcomed by the other participants, or will be urged by the other participants to join in and will finally do so, no matter how reluctant at first.

 

[Epmd607]

4. Wear a condom, but never EVER cum in it.

 

[TxRad]

5. When the director yells foreplay. two more actors jump on the bed.

 

[Handley_Page]

6 The concept of "product placement" has yet to be discovered in a porn film.

7 Everything required is within easy reach

 

[xssve]

It always crack me up when she tries to smoothly slide a dildo in her ass and it won't go; everything has to grind to a halt while he helps her get the floppy thing into her ass.

 

[TxRad]

It always crack me up when she tries to smoothly slide a dildo in her ass and it won't go; everything has to grind to a halt while he helps her get the floppy thing into her ass.

You are talking about the dildo, right.

 

[xssve]

Absolutely.

 

[Chantilyvamp]

Okay, I'm spewing coffee onto my monitor at Chantily's post, because my fiance actually does use saliva as lube...

3. Anyone who catches people having sex will immediately either join in and be welcomed by the other participants, or will be urged by the other participants to join in and will finally do so, no matter how reluctant at first.

hehe, i dont mind saliva as lube but if someone spits it at me I promise I'll gag!

 

[xssve]

Saliva makes great lube.

 

[xssve]

You are talking about the dildo, right.

Actually, that's a real pisser when I see some guy who can't get it up for some babe, when I'm so fucking desperate I'm reduced watching it on video.

 

[3113]

38. Hot tubs are de rigueur if one is hoping to have lots of sex. In fact, having a hot tub pretty much guarantees that big breasted women will show up, get naked and get into the tub in order to have sex with anyone else in the tub.

39. Taking the above into consideration, sex never happens except in a big house, with a backyard that includes a pool and/or hot tub; said house is almost always located in a sunny climate.

 

[oggbashan]

High heeled shoes never show signs of wear.