G
Guest
Guest
I realize that already, by posting as a "guest" my credibility here is next to none, but I am a long time board member who would prefer to remain anonymous for personal reasons.
Last weekend, I wrote my first poem...well, not quite my first, but I haven't written since high school, so it sure as hell felt like my first. A friend of mine helped me tweek it a bit, someone who knows who they are, and should know that I appreciate the help that they offerred.
Anyway, the purpose of this thread is to share my hurt with someone/anyone...at this point in time, it's a hurt like nothing else I've ever felt. I allowed myself to be vulnerable to someone who meant a great deal to me...someone who was the closest of friends, as well as an intimate partner at one point.
So, in a sense, this thread is dedicated to him (and yes, you know who you are)...the one who I allowed the priviledge of being a part of my life for many months...someone who I know deep down, didn't deserve to be a part of my life, but still, who I allowed into my heart, to touch my soul, and to discover who I truly am. Thank you for enlightening me on the way cowards and manipulators work, and for showing your true colors. You've given me the most unique gift I've ever received.
A Love Disguised
Trust I did you, from the start,
you arrived and touched my heart.
Never once did I believe
your intentions would deceive.
We met, we touched, we laughed, we talked,
we kissed, we hugged, we loved, we walked.
The day we met, I felt you'd be
my friend forever and never leave me.
Then one day we became one,
on that day, love had begun.
A friendly love with a chance to grow
if we nourished it, that I know.
And on that night our souls did meet,
never once they missed a beat.
You touched me with a gentle kiss
and brought me to a state of bliss.
Your manhood entered me inside,
I gasped for air yet felt alive.
Our mouths engulfed, our tongues entwined,
our hips in sync, my emotions blind
With beads of sweat on our skin,
you took me places I'd never been.
A final thrust, it was a need,
in a fluid motion, you spilled your seed.
As you filled me with liquid love
The angels sang in the heavens above.
Your seed was planted inside me where
You hoped and dreamed a child I'd bear.
And deep within, I felt your desire
To create a new life in our passionate fire.
In your eyes I could clearly see,
the future of what you wanted to be.
I never mentioned that I knew,
or how I could see deep inside you.
You thought you hid it well, indeed,
but your eyes don't lie, you fulfilled your need.
And as we lay together, spent,
I wondered if you were heaven sent.
At that moment for me was clear,
there was a purpose for you being here.
I pondered the thought, what the purpose could be,
why you were here, making love with me.
But I never did question, perhaps that was wrong
I just basked in the glow of our sensual song.
Today I see you were not sent from above,
and it wasn't what I thought was love.
You played me like a violin,
the master manipulator from within.
I know I mentioned one thing was a must,
I spelled it out that I needed trust.
For without trust nothing is real
and since that's lost I must start to heal.
Just know that I will indeed survive,
I'll wipe my tears and return to life.
For now it hurts, it hurts like hell,
to discover deception after I fell.
Yes, I fell for you. That is true!
You can't deny that quite well you knew.
Through the months, a friend I had,
now it's lost, and now I'm sad
What possessed you to deceive?
Did I really look that naive?
Did you think I'd never discover?
And since I have will I recover?
Was making love a big charade?
Nothing more than a masquerade?
So long my pseudo friend, good-bye
I cannot love a friend who lies.
Now I'll leave you to your sea
of blatant lies and mystery.
One final question that I had,
do you regret it or are you glad?
I bet that you will breathe a sigh
of relief, while tears I cry.
Last weekend, I wrote my first poem...well, not quite my first, but I haven't written since high school, so it sure as hell felt like my first. A friend of mine helped me tweek it a bit, someone who knows who they are, and should know that I appreciate the help that they offerred.
Anyway, the purpose of this thread is to share my hurt with someone/anyone...at this point in time, it's a hurt like nothing else I've ever felt. I allowed myself to be vulnerable to someone who meant a great deal to me...someone who was the closest of friends, as well as an intimate partner at one point.
So, in a sense, this thread is dedicated to him (and yes, you know who you are)...the one who I allowed the priviledge of being a part of my life for many months...someone who I know deep down, didn't deserve to be a part of my life, but still, who I allowed into my heart, to touch my soul, and to discover who I truly am. Thank you for enlightening me on the way cowards and manipulators work, and for showing your true colors. You've given me the most unique gift I've ever received.
A Love Disguised
Trust I did you, from the start,
you arrived and touched my heart.
Never once did I believe
your intentions would deceive.
We met, we touched, we laughed, we talked,
we kissed, we hugged, we loved, we walked.
The day we met, I felt you'd be
my friend forever and never leave me.
Then one day we became one,
on that day, love had begun.
A friendly love with a chance to grow
if we nourished it, that I know.
And on that night our souls did meet,
never once they missed a beat.
You touched me with a gentle kiss
and brought me to a state of bliss.
Your manhood entered me inside,
I gasped for air yet felt alive.
Our mouths engulfed, our tongues entwined,
our hips in sync, my emotions blind
With beads of sweat on our skin,
you took me places I'd never been.
A final thrust, it was a need,
in a fluid motion, you spilled your seed.
As you filled me with liquid love
The angels sang in the heavens above.
Your seed was planted inside me where
You hoped and dreamed a child I'd bear.
And deep within, I felt your desire
To create a new life in our passionate fire.
In your eyes I could clearly see,
the future of what you wanted to be.
I never mentioned that I knew,
or how I could see deep inside you.
You thought you hid it well, indeed,
but your eyes don't lie, you fulfilled your need.
And as we lay together, spent,
I wondered if you were heaven sent.
At that moment for me was clear,
there was a purpose for you being here.
I pondered the thought, what the purpose could be,
why you were here, making love with me.
But I never did question, perhaps that was wrong
I just basked in the glow of our sensual song.
Today I see you were not sent from above,
and it wasn't what I thought was love.
You played me like a violin,
the master manipulator from within.
I know I mentioned one thing was a must,
I spelled it out that I needed trust.
For without trust nothing is real
and since that's lost I must start to heal.
Just know that I will indeed survive,
I'll wipe my tears and return to life.
For now it hurts, it hurts like hell,
to discover deception after I fell.
Yes, I fell for you. That is true!
You can't deny that quite well you knew.
Through the months, a friend I had,
now it's lost, and now I'm sad
What possessed you to deceive?
Did I really look that naive?
Did you think I'd never discover?
And since I have will I recover?
Was making love a big charade?
Nothing more than a masquerade?
So long my pseudo friend, good-bye
I cannot love a friend who lies.
Now I'll leave you to your sea
of blatant lies and mystery.
One final question that I had,
do you regret it or are you glad?
I bet that you will breathe a sigh
of relief, while tears I cry.
