Litiquette2

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Finally! Breasts that won't get annoyed with me for biting too hard! Do you want my credit card info here or in PM?

We definitely want it here, Mr... It pays the bills and then some

 

[Paul_Chance]

How about a boobie pillow?

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41sRHOuP4ML._SY300_.jpg

That is the perfect traveling pillow! The TSA agent at the gate would have no idea what to do.

 

[CherryOh]

Hi
If the pillow was not comfy I think I would ask to sleep with my head on his chest.

 

[ChainedUp]

It's Tuesday, the Monday "blahs" are a thing of the past. Lit relationships, for the most part, tend to not last very long. Often times the flirting and build-up to sex lasts longer than all the naughty fun. But, do you think, it's easier to get back together with someone after a break up here at Lit or in RL?

 

[elli1]

i'm not one for on-off things. an ex is an ex for a reason, usually. and that's true for RL and online, at least for me.

if the break-up is due to betrayal of some sort, because someone hurt me and i can't trust them, then that's it.
if it's because the feelings are gone, well, then they are gone. you only realise what you had when it's gone? not for me. i tend to not make decisions like these lightheartedly.
if you end it because you notice you don't fit together, chances are you won't fit together the second or third or forth time either.

 

[MedicalMuse]

It's Tuesday, the Monday "blahs" are a thing of the past. Lit relationships, for the most part, tend to not last very long. Often times the flirting and build-up to sex lasts longer than all the naughty fun. But, do you think, it's easier to get back together with someone after a break up here at Lit or in RL?

I'm not sure there's a "getting back together" thing in either place. I would assume that's based on the individual. I do know it's easier for me to remain friends with people on here after we've parted ways, mostly because this place is a little different reality for me. Any slight, real or imagined, eventually doesn't really matter. Unless you were a real shit, then I'm not likely to talk to you again.

Too early for such seriousness CU.

 

[DesEsseintes]

i'm not one for on-off things. an ex is an ex for a reason, usually. and that's true for RL and online, at least for me.

if the break-up is due to betrayal of some sort, because someone hurt me and i can't trust them, then that's it.
if it's because the feelings are gone, well, then they are gone. you only realise what you had when it's gone? not for me. i tend to not make decisions like these lightheartedly.
if you end it because you notice you don't fit together, chances are you won't fit together the second or third or forth time either.

Very wise, Elli, and I agree whole-heartedly. Such things can only ever be deeply personal, of course, but I have been called too binary, black and white, simplistic, etc when talking about my desire not to have friendships with ex-partners. But the way I see it is I wasn't with them for friendship. That was part of the package if the relationship meant anything at all, but it was not the primary reason for the partnership. So when love/lust is gone, there isn't enough left to keep my interest. I have friends elsewhere - I don't want, as someone once wrote, friendship offered as a good conduct prize.

When it's over, it's over. No hard feelings, but draw a line.

 

[elli1]

Very wise, Elli, and I agree whole-heartedly. Such things can only ever be deeply personal, of course, but I have been called too binary, black and white, simplistic, etc when talking about my desire not to have friendships with ex-partners. But the way I see it is I wasn't with them for friendship. That was part of the package if the relationship meant anything at all, but it was not the primary reason for the partnership. So when love/lust is gone, there isn't enough left to keep my interest. I have friends elsewhere - I don't want, as someone once wrote, friendship offered as a good conduct prize.

When it's over, it's over. No hard feelings, but draw a line.

well, i wouldn't rule out friendship, depending on how and why the relationship ended.

 

[lexieredefined]

It's Tuesday, the Monday "blahs" are a thing of the past. Lit relationships, for the most part, tend to not last very long. Often times the flirting and build-up to sex lasts longer than all the naughty fun. But, do you think, it's easier to get back together with someone after a break up here at Lit or in RL?

Usually there is a reason an ex is an ex. I also find it hard to be friends with exes. That said there is an exception to every rule as I've found.

To answer the question I would say that it's probably easier to get back together on Lit than it is in RL. Mainly because I wouldn't dare consider getting back together with a RL ex and would consider one or two Lit 'exes'. The veil of the Internet is wide and it's a different reality than RL.

 

[Shadowmist99]

I think it's easier to stay polite with someone on lit than in rl. I do think it also depends on the type of relationship you had. If it was just some fun once in a while as opposed to talking every single day and investing time and feelings, I think it would be easier to get back together. If someone I cared about deeply hurt me either here or in rl, getting back together would be off the table.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I would argue that Lit flings don't last very long but Lit relationships are very long lasting. I suppose it is an opinion similar to DEs. The difference that I've noticed here is that…
in real life, if a friend and I have ever decided to try adding any level of sexuality to our friendship and it didn't work, we could still continue our relationship. Here, if that happens, I think that it is a treasure.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I suspect I'm part inspiration for today's question given our chats lately Chained, so here is my answer.

I am friends with all but one of my exes in real life but I have never gotten back together with any of them. I've never fought for any of them, or wanted them to fight for me.

Here.... well I won't name him and I'm sure you have no idea who I am talking about right? We've fought hard for each other at different times and held each other up. We've broken up and always come back to each other, until recently it seemed like it was all over for good. The obstacles too great. Relationships are complicated wherever you have them. Ours is complicated on a lot of levels and exists in a world where it can't be but it just is anyway. It's stupid, and awful, and funny, and hard work, and takes commitment and time. It's beautiful, and loving and maybe the truest expression of "through thick and thin" I have ever known. We've forgiven each other some awful shit. We've hurt each other sometimes. We've failed each other even more times, but we've also given each other some beautiful, life changing and special things and here we are again. Deciding it's worth it.

For me, Lit is much harder than real life, both in the relationship and out of it. On just about every front.

I'm gonna find this fucker and break his legs.

 

[Paul_Chance]

It's Tuesday, the Monday "blahs" are a thing of the past. Lit relationships, for the most part, tend to not last very long. Often times the flirting and build-up to sex lasts longer than all the naughty fun. But, do you think, it's easier to get back together with someone after a break up here at Lit or in RL?

For me, it depends on why we broke up. I've had relationships where, when it ended, it ended and re-entering it is simply not going to happen. Those are cases where the end of the relationship was the result of some betrayal of trust or some serious misconduct within the relationship. In those cases I'm done.

I've had other relationships that were on and off (I'm in one now) over the course of many years - where the reasons the relationship ends are external to the relationship or, in internal, did not involve that breach of trust. In those cases I am willing to renew the relationship if circumstances change again.

I am who I am - and there are two parts inside of me that impact that ability to swing in and out of relationships. I am not monogamous - I personally find that monogamy simply doesn't work. Nor do I expect it from a partner and that is one of the conversations that is had very early on in the relationship to set the expectations (and yes, sometimes it ends right there - if the person is looking for monogamy and I am not, then it's better to not get tangled together). The other is that I have learned to not invest my emotional happiness in another person, so, though I love and I love deeply, I do so understanding that all things in life change and they change constantly. Love abides, but lovers, not necessarily so.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

Usually I end up remaining friends (in lit and RL) with people I've had relationships with. It's kind of rare I get super involved with anyone on lit to when it's the level of there eventually being a "break up". In general though I do like to stay friends or at least on good terms. But that usually depends on circumstances.

 

[Endless_Night]

It's Tuesday, the Monday "blahs" are a thing of the past. Lit relationships, for the most part, tend to not last very long. Often times the flirting and build-up to sex lasts longer than all the naughty fun. But, do you think, it's easier to get back together with someone after a break up here at Lit or in RL?

In real life it varies, friendship with some exes, others I couldn’t get away from fast enough. Lit, not enough data.

The bolded part ^ is what flabbergasted me. Seriously? Why? You go to all the trouble of finding a suitable play partner and then don’t keep them for a while? I’m not talking permanent here, but wouldn’t the “play” be better if you had a handle on each others likes and dislikes? Besides, and here’s the kicker, you then have to go out and find another one!!!

Or am I just missing the point? Is a quick one off the goal? Is that better? More exciting? Easier?

I hope this doesn’t count as a thread derailment....

*looks in sky for Chained thunderbolt*

But, I could use a little insight.

 

[Mindfondler]

It's Tuesday, the Monday "blahs" are a thing of the past. Lit relationships, for the most part, tend to not last very long. Often times the flirting and build-up to sex lasts longer than all the naughty fun. But, do you think, it's easier to get back together with someone after a break up here at Lit or in RL?

I'm in the unusual position of not having any RL exes. The closest that I have is a girl whom I dated romantically twice before she gave me the "I just want us to be friends" line. That was nearly thirty years ago, and we still are good friends today because we both wanted that to work.

I'm not sure that I have any Lit "exes" either, although I had a couple of Lit relationships that broke down when it became clear that our objectives were incompatible. For that reason, I wouldn't have any desire to get back together, although I'd still be civil to those Litsters if they were still around.

Sorry -- I'm probably a bit naïve on this one.
.

 

[Endless_Night]

< I would argue that Lit flings don't last very long but Lit relationships are very long lasting. >

Oh…. That will teach me to post before I read all the responses. This pretty much clears it up.

Apologies for the idiot blurt.

 

[Mindfondler]

Oh…. That will teach me to post before I read all the responses. This pretty much clears it up.

I don't think it does, though. Chained wrote (and I've highlighted the same part that you did):

It's Tuesday, the Monday "blahs" are a thing of the past. Lit relationships, for the most part, tend to not last very long. Often times the flirting and build-up to sex lasts longer than all the naughty fun. But, do you think, it's easier to get back together with someone after a break up here at Lit or in RL?

I don't think that's the same as the (valid) distinction that GiggLeGasm makes between quick flings and other longer-lasting relationships.

Apologies for the idiot blurt.

Well... if you're being an idiot, then so am I!
.

 

[Endless_Night]

I don't think it does, though. Chained wrote (and I've highlighted the same part that you did):


I don't think that's the same as the (valid) distinction that GiggLeGasm makes between quick flings and other longer-lasting relationships.


Well... if you're being an idiot, then so am I!
.

Ahh, thanks.

Okay then, clarification please somebody, because I don't understand why play works that way.

 

[Callmetim]

Often times the flirting and build-up to sex lasts longer than all the naughty fun. But, do you think, it's easier to get back together with someone after a break up here at Lit or in RL?

In RL, I've never gotten back together with an ex. Friendships in RL might drift apart, but we always seem able to reconnect.

The odd thing for me, it seems, is that those that start out as non-play friends on Lit become play friends, those that start out as play become non-play; some of those non-play friends I have known for a long time. It is largely chemistry with that person and finding out what works for the two of you within your own dynamic.

The bolded part ^ is what flabbergasted me. Seriously? Why? You go to all the trouble of finding a suitable play partner and then don’t keep them for a while? I’m not talking permanent here, but wouldn’t the “play” be better if you had a handle on each others likes and dislikes? Besides, and here’s the kicker, you then have to go out and find another one!!!

Or am I just missing the point? Is a quick one off the goal? Is that better? More exciting? Easier?

But, I could use a little insight.

Okay then, clarification please somebody, because I don't understand why play works that way.

Some people do not want to put forth the time and effort and are simply looking for a one-chat stand, a quick play fix. Some want to build a long-term play relationship and will learn likes/dislikes before engaging in play with someone. RL comes into play and one party may have to leave a longer play relationship for a myriad of off-Lit reasons.

You are of the camp that believes time and effort should be involved to have a more meaningful, deeper sense of play, pardon the pun. Everyone is vastly different in their needs/wants.

Play works how you want it to work. Neither way of play is more valid than the other, just the needs of each individual and how they will perceive each partner over the course of time.

 

[ChainedUp]

Let's see if I can clarify.

Sometimes, the firting starts by cross posting on threads. Maybe a word game, and you think there might be chemistry. So then one of you gets up the nerve to PM. Then PMs exchange for awhile, innuendos becoming more prevalent, and then someone takes the initiative to step things up. The PM foreplay continues and next thing you know it's all hot and heavy.....orgasms fill the air

Then the next time, less flirting, and faster to play.

Then the next time it's straight to play.

And then.......you realize the build up was actually better than the naughty.

The build up took a couple weeks but in less than a week you realize tree really isn't chemistry.

Hence, the time spent being naughty was shorter than the courtship.

 

[Endless_Night]

Thank you for the clarification, gentlemen.

 

[SweetSam42]

I want nothing to do with my exes in real life. All of them were assholes who broke my heart.

As for Lit - I'm not sure I have an ex? I suppose maybe one person could be considered an ex. And I want nothing to do with him either.

 

[ChainedUp]

May your HumpDay be the humpiest.

What rarity happens at Lit that makes you take pause and experience it for what it is? Good or bad, aren't there things here that make you stop and look? (Penalties will be assessed for each answer that includes any form of "boobies")

 

[Shadowmist99]

Out and out rudeness. It's very rare for someone to be blatantly mean to another Litster. At least from what I've seen. I always stop and look when I see it because it surprises me so much.